Your Mindful Life

Do you ever wonder, “Why can’t I change that nagging habit? Or why can’t I drop that unpleasant judgment I have about myself? Or, how do I stop that difficult emotion from erupting suddenly?

I hope you are enjoying the show and that you will continue to welcome it into your lives. Please follow or subscribe to the podcast, download the episodes and share them with friends and on social media. And, don’t forget to review the podcast on Apple podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen. Your support is so important and I thank you with all my heart.

Today we’re exploring how we can work with out minds to change our minds. 

To change our minds, mindfulness is our starting point. Although being aware and present with what is arising in us isn’t usually enough to change anything, it gives us a lot of information about “what’s happening now” without us getting pulled into it.  Being present with what is here and acknowledging it is an important inner resource; we won’t get far by avoiding what’s here or falling headlong into it. How can we change something that we can’t be with and acknowledge? We can’t.

We see how the equanimity we build in our mindfulness meditation practice becomes an ally—an inner resource we can always count on, and how going through the body to get a felt sense of what is here is the way to unfolding the whole thing, and how self-compassion is another inner resource that we can use any time, any where to be with what is here with love and caring. This ability to be with, be steady, and be compassionate to ourselves are  key to developing resilience, yet another key inner resource.

This week you might try this kind of practice that starts with being with what is present and then settles in to feel the felt sense in the body about the whole thing and then stay with the unfolding bringing us wisdom about the whole thing. 

A note of caution, if you ever feel like what is here is too big, or overwhelming, or too scary, then stop. Drop your awareness down into your feet feeling them connected to the ground and describe aloud how they feel from the outside in. Open the eyes and looking around the room you are in, name five things that you see.   Stand up and take a walk. Have a cup of tea. And, most importantly reach out to a health professional for help. We all need someone’s professional help from time to time.

Spend some time contemplating equanimity and practicing getting in touch with the felt sense in the body, and enjoy the show.  Practice is how we learn. I so appreciate you and also appreciate the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Do you feel that awe is something that can only be experienced at extraordinary times in our lives? Are you open to feeling awe every day?

Today our topic is awe.

I hope you are enjoying the show and that you will continue to welcome it into your lives. Please follow or subscribe to the podcast, download the episodes and share them with friends and on social media. And, don’t forget to review the podcast on Apple podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen. Your support is so important and I thank you.

You may recall from Episode 49 that awe is my word for this year. My intention is to continue to open to awe and to soak it up—so that it pervades every cell in my body and every space in my being. Experiencing awe is one of the most healing experiences of my life. When in awe I feel deep belonging to and new understanding of the vast fabric of life and spirituality that is available to all of us. I hope you’ll feel the same way about awe as I do—feeling its mystery, majesty, and magic.

In today’s show, we see that clinging to our habits of daily life—to its content and context—can block out opportunities to experience awe. We see how awe is an everyday experience, not something rare and rarified.

And, we see how our mindfulness practice helps us to not only discover awe but to fully take it in so that our awe experiences become part of who we are.

This week, I invite you to ponder where you find awe in your life. Use Keltner’s groupings to help you to uncover awe in your life. Then open yourself to finding it and when you experience it, let it seep in, stay with you, and become part of you.

Thank you for listening. I so appreciate you and also appreciate the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful. 

REOURCES/CREDITS

Keltner, Dacher, Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life, Penguin Press, New York, 2023.

Walt Whitman. Memoranda During the War. 1875–1876. The Walt Whitman Archive, Culpepper, VA, Feb ’64, P. 29, Gen. ed. Matt Cohen, Ed Folsom, and Kenneth M. Price. Accessed 16 February 2023. <http://www.whitmanarchive.org>

Clip of Béjart and Stravinsky's Oiseau de Feu (FireBird), Medici.tv,  Facebook https://www.facebook.com/medicitv/videos/béjart-and-stravinskys-oiseau-de-feu-firebird/458430975485142/

15 of the Best Street Artists in Athens, Trip Anthropologist, 2023,  https://tripanthropologist.com/15-best-street-artists-athens/, Accessed February 20, 2023

Hanson, Rick, Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence, Harmony Books, New York, 2013

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Today is a very special day! This episode, #52,  marks one year that “Your Mindful Life” podcast has been streaming across the globe. I hope you are enjoying the show and that you will continue to welcome it into your lives. 

If the show moves you, show your support by following/subscribing to the podcast, download the episodes and share them with friends and on social media. And, let your voice be heard! Review it on Apple podcasts or Spotify or wherever you listen. 

Today, we’re exploring taking care of our giving-selves. How giving and receiving are intimately connected and how mindfulness, self-compassion, and equanimity open us to receiving so that we can give.

When we look closely we see that helping others (giving) and taking care of ourselves (receiving) are intricately linked. They create a dynamic energy exchange that bolsters our resiliency, nourishes our spirit, and balances our energy. But for many of us giving is easy and receiving is difficult.

So often, though, something gets in the way of our taking care of our giving-self and we find ourselves depleted, feeling ill at ease with our lives, exhausted, and even physically run-down. 

So what’s getting in the way of our receiving the care we need to keep on giving? Beliefs. Beliefs about what’s right behavior. Beliefs about our intrinsic character. Beliefs about responsibility. All kinds of beliefs that we have been conditioned to accept as true, and that weigh us down, frighten us, and keep the good from being received least we be perceived by others to be selfish.

We explore how being with our beliefs and allowing their unfolding allows us to disentangle from them and how new attitudes, behaviors, and actions help us to complete the circuit between giving and receiving providing energy, resilience, ease, and heart-full giving. 

This week, I invite you to explore giving and receiving. How does it feel to take care of your giving by receiving? What skillful actions can you take to make receiving part of your giving?

I hope you enjoy the show. I so appreciate your listening and also appreciate the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful. 

CREDITS/RESOURCES

Joe Whittle, “Reciprocity of Tradition: Native Americans of the Columbia Plateau use traditional practices to strengthen their communities and preserve their union with the land,” Oregon Humanities, April 27, 2020 https://www.oregonhumanities.org/rll/magazine/union-spring-2020/reciprocity-of-tradition/

Judy Leigh, “The Power of Receiving,” Tricycle Magazine, Summer 2003, https://tricycle.org/magazine/power-receiving/

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Hello everyone! I hope you find today’s show helpful and I hope that you’ll download the episode, share it with your friends, and review it on Apple podcasts.

Today we are exploring longing. When we long for something we desire it with intensity. There is a lot of energy behind it. Going underneath our longing allows us to see exactly what our need is and how best to work with it skillfully.

Longing has been described as attachment… something that we can’t let go of.  In some cases this is true. It is true when longing is craving and addiction. But sometimes longing points to wholesome needs—the need for connection and communication, the need for creative time and space, or the need for food and shelter.

Often the longing itself is not the need. We have to look underneath the longing to find it. We may long for a cup of tea. Underneath the longing is a need to quench our thirst or warm our belly against the cold. It is helpful to ask ourselves, “What is this longing all about?’ “What need is this longing pointing to?”  If we don’t uncover the need, we might run off satisfying the longing and not the need leaving us feeling unsatisfied.

Longing carries with it an abundance of energy. Recognize how that energy is manifesting. Is this energy constructive? Or, destructive?  It is wise to be on the lookout for impatience. Impatience can signal craving and addiction. It can signal the presence of obstacles that we first must be willing to unwind. It can signal the lack of patience—the ability to stay with something and focus.

Our mindfulness practices are the tools we use to be with whatever is happening in the moment and are particularly helpful when longing is present.

This week, I invite you to spend time with your longings. Be mindful. Be curious and non-judging. Let your body be the conduit to the mind. Don’t try to analyze. Recognize what is happening now. Acknowledge it. Feel how it feels in the body. And, let it show it what it is needing. Then acknowledge and sit with the need and let it show you what wants to come forward. In this way, you will gain clarity about the longing and about which actions are skillful.

Thank you for listening. I so appreciate you and also appreciate the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful. 

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Today’s topic is unworthiness. How we come to believe we are unworthy; how this brings us feelings of shame and inadequacy; and how by being present with this part of ourselves we can unwind the intricacies of our unworthiness so that we can awaken to our intrinsic worthiness and goodness through self-compassion and kindness. 

I hope you’ll enjoy the show and I hope that you’ll download the episode, share it with your friends, and, please,  review it on Apple podcasts. 

Self-loathing is a kind of aversion that we learn as children. After being repetitively told how we don’t stack up and don’t make the grade, we come to accept that this is who we are. It is not. We can take care of our unworthiness. We can give it the loving attention it needs to open and unfold so that we can heal and move forward with our lives. 

The truth is we are all worthy; it is there and we can find it; by shaking off the layers of behaviors trying to make amends for our perceived unworthiness; by being willing to be present for all the feelings and stories and sensations around our unworthiness, we can clean the mud from the windshield to see that we have been worthy all along—intrinsically worthy. 

This allows us to act with true compassion—not one rooted in trying to make up for unworthiness but one rooted in pure compassion—of love and kindness for ourselves and others based on our recognition of suffering and our desire to alleviate it without any expectation of the outcome. 

Thank you for listening. I so appreciate you and also appreciate the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful. 

CREDITS/RESOURCES

Bradshaw, John, Healing The Shame That Binds You, Health Communications Inc., Deerfield Beach, FL, 1988.

Brown, Brené,  “There are no Prerequisites for Worthiness,” Oprah’s Lifeclass, Oprah Winfrey Network, OWN, video,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZR0-WFUfeE

Brown, Brené, “Shame vs. Guilt,” January 15, 2013, website, https://brenebrown.com/articles/2013/01/15/shame-v-guilt/

The Greater Good Science Center publishes articles on subjects to help us have meaningful lives. This link will take you to articles about unworthiness, forgiveness, self-esteem, and other related topics: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/search?q=unworthiness

Thich Nhat Hanh, “How do I Love Myself? | Thich Nhat Hanh Answers Questions,” Plum Village video, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMoRtJhVoxc

Thich Nhat Hanh, “Growing Together,” Lion’s Roar, September 21, 2017. https://www.lionsroar.com/growing-together/ This short article is about finding our own worthiness to nurture our relationships.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Today we are getting to know awe—what it is, how we experience it, and what good it does us.

I hope you enjoy the show and I hope that you’ll download the episode, share it with your friends, and review it on Apple podcasts. 

Just after the new calendar year began my friend and colleague Chris emailed me. She asked, “What’s your word for this year?” “My word?” I thought and quickly replied with the word joy.

But then, after a couple of days, I came across a miniseries called “Searching: Our Quest For Meaning in the Age of Science” narrated by Alan Lightman, a scientist and writer. In it, he describes two transcendent experiences he had had. One staring at the starry night sky while lying on the bottom of boat and the other, while standing on a balcony, having eye-to-eye communion with a young osprey in flight . Right then I knew that my word is awe. We all need more awe in our lives right now.

We talk about what is, what it feels like, where to find it. We talk about how it brings us to oneness with our spirituality, our oneness and interconnectedness with life.  

Mindfulness brings us to awe through presence and intention but once we are there we let go into the flow of awe.

This week I invite you to investigate awe. Where did you find it? What was happening? How did it make you feel? How did it change you?  Make your intention to experience it often and then act. Go to the woods, the ocean and rivers, the top of tall buildings. Find the words, the music, the paintings. Seek the telescope, the equations, the brush.   

Thank you for listening. I so appreciate you and all the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful. 

CREDITS/RESOURCES

Geoff Haines-Stiles and Alan Lightman, “Searching: Our Quest For Meaning in the Age of Science,” https://searchingformeaning.org/watch-the-series/, GHSI, 2023

Martin Luther King, “I Have a Dream Speech,” delivered August 28, 1963 on the Washington Mall, Washington, D.C., USA. via NPR. https://www.npr.org/2011/01/17/133000851/on-his-day-kings-dream-speech-in-its-entirety

“The cathedral and the forest: How two awe-inspiring moments shaped Jane Goodall’s spirituality,” John Templeton Foundation, Templeton Prize, 2021

https://www.templeton.org/news/the-cathedral-and-the-forest-how-two-awe-inspiring-moments-shaped-jane-goodalls-spirituality

The Story Behind Apollo 8’s Famous Earthrise Photo, NASA’s Scientific Visualization Studio, December 21, 2018, https://solarsystem.nasa.gov/resources/2234/the-story-behind-apollo-8s-famous-earthrise-photo/

Lisa Miller, PhD, The Awakened Brain: the New Science of Spirituality and our Quest for an Inspired Life, Random House, New York, 2021, Kindle Edition

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the ad

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Have you ever been surprised when hatred has reared its head in you in the heat of the moment? When it arises how do you care for it? Have you ever been on the receiving end of hate? How did you respond?

Today our topic is hatred, how it poisons us, how mindfulness can free us from its clutches, and how we can apply compassion in its stead. 

Hatred abounds in the world today. Perhaps there always has been as much; and maybe it is only because of the constant stream of world news that crosses in front of us on our screens that we feel there is more. Hatred is not just out there though. The capacity to hate is also inside each of us.

Some important points about hatred: 

Hatred forms from being attacked and then feeling unworthy, afraid, or shamed. There is always some situation underneath the hatred that drives it. To resolve hatred get to the situation and the feelings around it.

We can be conditioned to hate. Repeatedly taught over time to hate others,  we will hate. We can, however, unlearn or decondition ourselves from these beliefs.

When we hate, the hate first burns us inwardly and then it burns another outwardly. We never escape unscathed from hate.

There is another way. We can be mindful of our hate; enquire into the whole situation so that we can unwind the string of cause and effect underneath it. Be compassionate: First to ourselves, by taking care of our hatred—by being mindful and by enquiring to get to its root causes. And, then by being compassionate to others and by being kind and loving.

It is important to note that when we become mindful of difficult and complex emotions such as hatred, it may feel like it is too much and we may get ungrounded. If this happens. Stop. Bring your awareness into your feet. Feel the feet from the inside—notice the sensations arising and name them—and notice the connection of your feet to mother earth. Open your eyes and look around the room, naming aloud five things that you see around you. Get up and take a walk. Talk immediately to your health care professional.

CREDITS/RESOURCES

In the show I tell two small stories. The story of the hot ember has been attributed to the Buddha or Buddhaghosa a fifth century Theravada Buddhism commentator and scholar. Its source is unclear. The story of the grandfather and the boy, sometimes called, “The Two Wolves,” is an ancient native American story. It may be Cherokee but that is not definitive.

Thich Nhat Hanh, No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering, Parallax Press, 2014, p. 11, Kindle Edition.

If you feel unsafe in a relationship or are in an abusive relationship, reach out for help. In the United States, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (USA) 800-799-7233 or text START to 88788 for help. 

MY GRATITUDE: 

I am grateful to you, my listeners. I hope you find today’s show helpful and I hope that you’ll download the episode, share it with your friends, and please review it on Apple podcasts.

Thanks to everyone behind the scenes, without whom this podcast would not be possible. 

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

What does it mean to you to be wise? Are you consumed with yourself or do you let go? When you are compassionate, what does it feel like? Are you expecting something in return, even if it is just that feel good feeling?

Today we’re exploring the two wings of mindfulness — wisdom or clear-seeing and compassion. Just as a bird needs two wings to fly, mindfulness needs both wisdom and compassion.

Wisdom or clear-seeing and compassion are intricately interconnected when we are mindful—when we are aware moment-to-moment with intention and curiosity and without judgment. Mindfulness is a remembering of who we really are and how we are all interconnected and loving. Clear-seeing and compassion let mindfulness take wing in the world and carry us through experience just as birds take wing and carry themselves through the sky.

Clear-seeing is seeing the truth of three things:  impermanence, no-self, and dissatisfaction or suffering. When we see clearly, we see the world as it is and we understand how to be in the world in a true and clear way free of delusion. When the mind sees clearly it is not deluded, confused, scattered, or cloudy.

Impermanence is the truth that everything is changing all the time. Experience and situations arise and pass away.

No-self is the truth that we are not in control, we are not solid, and that rather than being like a master puppeteer we are made up of complimentary and valuable components that as a whole act to be in the world and that interconnect us with one another and the whole world. There is the body, feeling tone, perception, mental formations such as thoughts and ideas, and there is consciousness  that is aware of how everything is working together.

Suffering is the truth that there is suffering in many forms—discontent, distress, pain, dis-ease, dissatisfaction among many— operating in the world but with clear seeing we don’t need to suffer.

When clear-seeing is present, there is no clinging, no craving, no aversion, and no delusion. This is the first wing of mindfulness—brilliant clarity of mind.

The second wing is compassion.

Compassion rests on equanimity—that state of balance, that sees all sides--the whole picture, and that is non-judging. It is intricately connected to doing no harm to ourselves, others, plants, animals. We are part of a greater whole and each of us is interdependent and connected to the whole. When we accept our interconnection rather than separateness we see how compassion is deeply connected to clear-seeing.

Compassion is seeing suffering, having the desire to alleviate suffering and its causes, and having the motivation to act to relieve suffering without expecting anything in return. Compassion is not passive; it has intention and action.

Compassion is fierce and courageous and is, sometimes, hard to recognize because we are expecting something that we know or are expecting something in return. Compassion requires us to get out of ourselves, to put away our perspective—no matter how learned—and to see the big picture clearly with no expectation that we will get something back.

We see how compassion works through the eyes of a doctor in an article by Tracy Kidder in The New York Times entitled “’You Have to Learn to Listen’: How a Doctor Cares for Boston’s Homeless,”  As a young physician, Dr Jim O’Connell, learns important truths about compassion. He learns that the way to help is not to rush in with a stethoscope in hand but to kneel down and soak the feet of the person in front of him in a tub of Betadine and listen. And, from his mentor, nurse Barbara McInnis, he learns that the way is just to do the work without any expectations of getting anything in return.

I hope you

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

In today’s podcast we begin again at the beginning, remembering and reviewing the four foundations of mindfulness. These give us stability and strength but they are not things. They are processes. Simply they are mindfulness of the body, of feeling tone, of mind, and of mind phenomena/objects.

They build on one another and enrich one another; their practice leads us to wisdom and love.

Just being mindful of the body breathing and of bodily sensations arising and fading away is a powerful practice.

Being mindful of the feeling tone of experience is teaches us to pause and to respond skillfully rather than react to experience as it arises.

Being mindful of mind—of being aware of the process of mind—its clinging, its aversion, its scattered-ness, its concentration lets us understand how our minds work. And gives us deep insight into our habits of mind.

The fourth is being mindful of mind phenomena or objects. For example, sense desires. The senses want something-- to see something, to taste something, to touch something. Desire arises. We are aware of the desire arising. We are aware when it is present. When it is absent. When it has been abandoned. When there is a tendency of mind for it to arise. And, aware of it not arising in the future.

The foundations of mindfulness are the processes of mindfulness that allow us to deepen our wisdom and see things clearly, to recognize suffering and cease it, and to live with open hearts.

This week, I invite you to mindful of the events and processes that create your interior and exterior worlds.

I am grateful you are listening and I am grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible. 

All of you who are members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful.

CREDITS/RESOURCES

Thich Nhat Hang Mindfulness of the Body https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLITykptumU

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

How does it feel when everything feels like an affront and you can’t shake the tendency to “want to get even?”  Or, how does it feel when you respond with generosity even when your day is not going the way you’d like?

Today we’re exploring how our mind states affect our actions and our well-being. We distinguish between two general categories of mind-states—those that promote health and well-being which we call wholesome and those that don’t which we call unwholesome.

A misconception about mindfulness is that we just roll with whatever comes. That’s not quite it. While mindfulness asks us to be aware of and present in the moment, it also asks us to get to know our minds—to really know the tendencies and characteristics of our minds. We all have wholesome and unwholesome mind states that lead us to act in ways that either promote or impede our health and well-being, but often we are not aware of them.

Becoming aware of our tendencies of mind and then putting mental energy into avoiding those that have a tendency to arise and ceasing the ones that we habitually act on is what we’re talking about today. These unhealthy mind states include having the mindset that we are attached to things, people, and ways of thinking and behaving; feeling that we’re always angry and seeing and experiencing the world through this angry mindset; feeling that we can control everything and that nothing will change; feeling that we have no choice but to suffer or be continuously dissatisfied with life; and being caught in I-identity that mental state of it always being about me, me, me.

On the flip side we want to cultivate tendencies towards healthy mind-states. These include curiosity, generosity, kindness, non-judgment, and clear seeing—that capacity to see what’s here and not what we wish were here.

The truth is that our mind state dictates our actions and our actions dictate how we are in the world and how we feel about ourselves and others.

So, as we turn the page to a new calendar year, let’s use right effort— that mental energy of intention and forethought to release negative mind states and embrace positive ones.

I hope you enjoy the show and I hope that you’ll download the episode and share it with your friends. You may also be moved to become a member of the podcast via Patreon by going over to patreon.com/yourmindfullife and joining.

I am grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible. 

All of you who are members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

How does it feel when adversity strikes from out of nowhere? What do you do then?

Hello! Today we’re exploring what happens when the arrow of misfortune or adversity strikes and how we react or not to it.

I hope you enjoy the show and I hope that you’ll download the episode and share it with your friends. You may also be moved to become a member of the podcast via Patreon by clicking here.

We start with the two arrows. It is said that the Buddha originally told this story to explain how we amplify suffering.  The first arrow is unavoidable; the second is not.

So, how do we avoid the second arrow? By being mindful. Being equanamous. Being self-compassionate. It is simple but not always easy. We have to be willing to practice regularly so we get to know our minds so we can free our minds.

This week I invite you to notice the first arrow and pause.

I am grateful you are listening and for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

All of you who are members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Have you ever noticed how when your mind starts comparing yourself to others, the wind leaves your sails?

Today we’re delving into the comparing mind and its usual hyper-critical focus on all the ways we don’t measure up and how mindfulness helps us to step out of the endless cycle of negative comparison.

Whether you are new or a regular listener, I hope that you find the podcast meaningful and will be moved to support it. Subscribe or follow where you listen; download the episodes; share it with your friends; review it on Apple Podcasts, and become a member by going to here to join.  Patreon.com/yourmindfullife.

When we get caught up in comparing mind, comparing ourselves to others, the more we compare, the worse we feel about ourselves. We get stuck in a loop of endless negative comparison. How we elaborate the story around the negative self comparison. How we react with envy and self-loathing.

When this happens we don’t notice, “Oh that person has a good technique. I’m curious how they do that technique. What can I learn from watching it?” Rather, we make a self-judgment. “Oh, I’ll never be able to do that. I’m not good enough.” And, that starts the endless spiraling down into feelings of being not good enough and not worthy enough.

It’s when we are able to be mindful—to notice what’s happening in the moment and be present with it—that we can free ourselves from endlessly judging ourselves and then believing those judgments.

Engaging the mindfulness practices of noticing, acknowledging, and allowing from a place of equanimity help us to bring a new perspective and quit the comparing mind.

Remembering that we are not alone—that everyone experiences the comparing mind.

Finally, practicing the four faces of love—lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and their bedrock equanimity—focusing on sending kindness, care, and appreciative to ourselves—is the antidote to comparing mind. If you’d like to go deeper into these practices check out podcast episodes 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10.

The brain is drawn to the negative as a strategy for keeping us safe. That’s just the way it works. And, it also responds and remembers what’s positive, good, and caring as long as we practice so that neural pathways to the feel good parts of our brains are well used.  So, I invite you to explore the open-hearted practices of lovingkindness, compassion, and appreciative joy from a place of equanimity this week and let me know how it goes by contacting me here.

I hope you enjoy the show.

I am grateful you are here and I am grateful you are here and for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

All of you who are members of the podcast via Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show

Be well. Be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

When conflict arises how does it feel inside? Do emotions erupt? Do you run away or run headlong into it?

Hello and welcome everyone. My name is Mary Slocum and today’s podcast is about working with conflict.
Whether you are a new or regular listener, I hope you find the podcast meaningful and will be moved to support it. Subscribe or follow where you listen; download the episodes; share it with your friends; review it on Apple Podcasts, and become a member by going here to Patreon.

Life is not always harmonious—it is often disagreeable and full of conflict. How we move through conflict can define how we move in the world. Rather than rush in or run away, we can engage conflict mindfully.

In the episode today we explore mindfulness practices to help show us the way: equanimity, lovingkindness, enquiry, and paying attention fully in the moment so we can listen, understand, and open to new perspectives.

Conflict is not just between two people. Conflict manifests among interconnected individuals and groups, with multiple competing interests. The BIG conflicts of our day—climate change and environmental issues, public health policy, social justice, and political extremism, among others require a really big tent under which mindful dialogue can happen. And, yet, the way forward is one conversation and one engagement at a time.

Bring mindfulness to the conversation. Bring awareness and deep listening. Equanimity and non-judgment, loving kindness and compassion for yourself and all beings.

I hope you enjoyed the show today and I hope you’ll try out theses practices when conflict arises. Let me know how it goes by contacting me here.

As always I am grateful to you, my listeners, and for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

May you be well. May you be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

When things don’t turn out as you expect, how is this for you? How comfortable do you feel with change?

Today on the podcast we are exploring uncertainty and how through mindfulness we can feel more comfortable with change, especially change that is unexpected.

Whether you are new or a regular listener, I hope that you find the podcast meaningful and will be moved to support it. Subscribe or follow where you listen; download the episodes; share it with your friends; review it on Apple Podcasts, and become a member by going here. 

We don’t like uncertainty even though uncertainty and change is part of life. There’s no way around it.

Everyone reacts differently to uncertainty and it is known that uncertainty increases stress. Often we aren’t aware of our reactions to uncertainty and yet these reactions impact our relationship to how we are and move in the world.  

Through mindfulness practices we can get in touch with how our mind and body responds so that we can more easily be with uncertainty and even become curious about it and change our relationship to it.

I hope you enjoy the show today and I hope you’ll try out the practices and let me know how it goes by sending me a note here.

As always I am grateful to you, my listeners, and I am also grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

All of you who are members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Be well. Be mindful.

CREDITS/RESOURCES

University College London. "Uncertainty can cause more stress than inevitable pain: Knowing that there is a small chance of getting a painful electric shock can lead to significantly more stress than knowing that you will definitely be shocked." ScienceDaily. www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2016/03/160329101037.htm (accessed February 9, 2022).

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Does bias ever pop up and suddenly you are asking yourself, “Why did I say that?” “Why did I do that?”

Today on the podcast we are exploring bias and how mindfulness can help us become aware of automatic bias responses and give us the space and time to change the ones that don’t serve us.

Whether you are new or a regular listener, I hope that you find the podcast meaningful and will be moved to support it. Subscribe or follow where you listen; download the episodes; share it with your friends; review it on Apple Podcasts, and become a member by going to Patreon.com/yourmindfullife. 

Neuroscientists and psychologists tell us, “If you have a brain, you have bias.” Much of the bias that we experience is unconscious bias, a process that occurs outside of our conscious awareness and allows us to make quick decisions. 

The act of bias is an adaptive process that allow us to use prior knowledge and experiences to inform decisions and actions in the present. Our minds are shaped by what we see most often. Through our senses we perceive our world and we know that the brain categorizes our experience. All the red objects go here; all the purple objects go there. This sounds benign and helpful; often it is. But what happens when we categorize along judgmental lines. This is good; that is bad. This is safe; that is scary. This person is smart. That person is lazy. That person looks different from me and so is no good.

Our socialization and conditioning teaches us how to respond; it’s not just family that conditions how we think, it’s the media, school, church, politics, and all aspects of our society.

Implicit bias is a kind of distorting lens, says Professor Eberhardt, that is both a product of our brains and societal conditioning. It keeps us from experiencing the world as it really is. 

Research shows that we are more accepting of people that look, sound, and feel like ourselves. This limits us from the possibilities of life because it cuts out the newness of adventure and exploration of unknown and different persons and places. 

Three mindfulness practices help us to respond appropriately rather than with bias. These are the pausing with equanimity, noticing the feeling tone of experience, and lovingkindness. In the podcast I take you through how these practices work and how you can apply them to bias—even unconscious bias.

This week I invite you to practice these mindfulness practices and see what difference it begins to make in your biased responses. It might just bring your attention to bias that you have not been aware of and open you to acceptance. Let me know how it goes.

Thank you for listening today. I am grateful you are here and I’m grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible. 

All of you who are members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Be well. Be mindful.

RESOURCES/CREDITS

An Introduction to Biased by Stanford Professor Jennifer Eberhardt, Nest Big Idea Club, YouTube, https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pD5a3-v9KZs

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Do you ever find yourself saying, “Yes,” when you mean “No?” Do you ever worry that if you say “No” that you will hurt someone’s feelings or will be judged by others?

Today on the podcast we are talking about how to feel comfortable saying “No.”

If you find something meaningful in the podcast and feel moved to support it, you can do this in three ways:

(1) by following or subscribing to the podcast where you listen 

(2) by downloading the episodes 

(3) by becoming a member by clicking here.

Has this ever happened to you? As the word, “Yes,” leaves your mouth, something inside you tightens and contracts. Your mouth is saying, “Yes,” and your body is saying, “No.”  I’m sure it has. It has to me.

We’re conditioned to say “Yes,” to be agreeable and helpful. Women, especially, are conditioned to say, “Yes.” Taking a pause and taking the request inside is the first step in breaking the habit of always saying, “Yes.” Once we take a request inside, we can get a handle on it. How does it feel? How does it sit with us? Does the appropriate response come clearly? Or is there confusion? We can ask the little question, “Why am I saying “Yes?” And, I share with you some of my experiences and how difficult it can be to honestly and clearly say, “No.”

I offer some guidance on how to investigate a request, to help you to clearly decide whether “No,” is the appropriate answer. Saying “No” is a mindfulness practice. It asks us to pay attention in the moment; it asks us come from a place of equanimity; it asks us to be self-compassionate and true to our core values.

This week, practice feeling comfortable saying, “No” from the heart. When you are tempted to say “Yes,” because it is what you usually do, notice how it feels inside. Check to see how it fits next to your values. Check to see if you are pausing long enough to fully consider saying “No.” Say “No” with surety and kindness. And, after you say “No” sense how that feels in your body and let me know how it goes. You can leave me a note here.

Thanks for tuning in today. I am grateful you are here and I’m grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible.

Everyone who is a member of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support;

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Be well. Be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

What do you think about when you think about boundaries? Do you think they restrict you or hem you in? That they are helpful? Or, are you unsure?

Today the topic is boundaries, what they do for us, and how we can nurture them so that we can navigate our worlds with comfort and integrity.

First though… Maybe this is your first time listening or perhaps you are a regular. If something here inspires you and you feel moved to support the show, here are three ways to support it: 

(1) Follow or subscribe where you listen 

(2) Download the episodes  

(3) Become a member by clicking here. 

Your support matters and we are grateful for it.

Healthy physical and emotional boundaries are a good thing. When aligned with our core values, intentions, speech, and actions healthy boundaries allow us to freely give and receive and to connect with others with respect and dignity.  Poor boundaries lead to distress and suffering.

Today, we explore how to notice what kind of boundary is in front of us. And, how our behavior with respect to that boundary causes an effect. We look at invisible boundaries and how they may be invisible to some but create insurmountable obstacles for others. 

Finding the just rightness of a boundary is important—not too solid and not too porous; not too high and not too low; not too rigid and not too flexible. We talk about how being mindful of the feeling tone  of experience—that feeling of pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral— is an early warning system—allowing us to pause, ask what’s happening in the moment, sensing inwardly how it feels, and inquiring what runs through it, underneath it, and on top of it.

This week I invite you to take some time to explore your boundaries. Do you take advantage of others’ boundaries? Do others take advantage of your boundaries? Choose one boundary that you would like to build, nurture, or lessen. 

Write down two or three actions you can take to improve the boundary so that it feels right—not too porous and not too rigid. Right down some actions that give you and the others an appropriate amount of space, that respect everyone’s autonomy, and that feel right inside of you—not too constricting and not too loose. These actions might take the form when “this” happens, I will do “that.” Here’s an example, “When my friend invites herself over to eat tonight, I will let her know that tonight isn’t a good night for me, but that next week will work fine.”

As you practice, notice what changes. Notice how emotions flow through you without you putting up a wall or getting all hung up in them. And, notice the clarity of your thinking—how you can say “Yes” and say “No” and how that feels just right.

Thank you for listening today. I am grateful you are here and I’m grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible. 

All the members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Be well. Be mindful.

RESOURCES/CREDITS 

Wilkerson, Isabel, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents, Random House, New York, 2020

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Do you ever have a hard time listening? Do you easily get distracted? When someone is talking are you busy thinking what you will say in reply? Today on the podcast, we’re exploring listening—listening deeply.

First though, an invitation to support the podcast. Maybe this is your first time listening or perhaps you are a regular. Either way, if the podcast inspires you or helps you to live a happier life, we hope you support it by following or subscribing to it where you listen, by downloading the episodes and by becoming a member by clicking here.  Your support matters and we are grateful for it.

You might be surprised how hard it is to listen fully, to listen mindfully—fully present without judgement or an agenda—and from a place of equanimity and compassion.

Listening is active. It requires energy and effort. It requires us to set aside what we think, how we feel, and what we would and to totally give all our attention to listening—taking in the words and feeling how they feel inside.

Deep listening is for all times—when we are experiencing difficulty or happiness with strangers, friends, family, or partners.  Deep listening is about deep connection.

But how do we listen deeply? What’s the how? When we are suffering ourselves or are grieving, we first attend to our own suffering and grief mindfully. We know how to do this. It’s like putting on our oxygen mask first before helping others put on theirs.

We bring compassion. We listen fully so that we can relieve suffering, not by doing something but by listening fully. It’s amazing how often people will say, “I just needed someone to listen.”

And, we learn how to listen deeply using reflection—reflecting back what the speaker has said, so the speaker can take it inside and check and see how it fits. Reflecting is a powerful listening device that I invite you to practice often.

This week I invite you to set the intention to listen deeply. Give listening your full attention. And, notice how it deepens understanding, connection, and caring. You might try it on the fly with anyone. Simply be in mindful presence and take in the other person’s words and body language with curiosity and without judgment. Don’t think up an answer. Let the person know. After awhile when there is a pause reflect back to the person what you have heard.” See how it goes and let me know here.

Thanks to you and and all the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible. 

Everyone who are members of the podcast on Patreon;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Be well. Be mindful.

CREDITS/RESOURCES

Augsburger, D., Caring Enough to Hear and be Heard, Baker Publishing Group, 1982. Accessed on https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/search?utf8=✓&q=David+Augsburger&commit=Search

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

Today in Episode 36 of the podcast, we’re exploring Letting go. Letting go can be hard to do even when we know we’re not in control of an outcome. And sometimes, it is the hardest when we are doing a compassionate act—when we are purposely trying to alleviate unease, distress, or suffering.

To show how clinging and letting go work in relationship to Compassion, I tell my own story, and how mindfulness helped me to simply let go.

I hope you enjoy the show. And, if you do, I hope you’ll support the podcast by subscribing or following it where you listen, downloading the episodes, sharing it with friends, and by becoming a podcast member by clicking here.

Today I’d like to once again give gratitude to the people behind the scenes that make this podcast possible.

Everyone who are members of the podcast;

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; 

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Be well. Be mindful.

DISCLAIMER

The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.

When someone wrongs or hurts you in some way, how does it feel inside?  When you wrong or hurt someone, how does it feel? And, how does it feel to forgive another? Or, ask for forgiveness? 

In this week’s episode we are diving into forgiveness. In our Western culture people who forgive are often seen as soft and weak. I’ve grown to understand and appreciate that people who forgive are brave, strong, and loving.

To set the stage, I share how forgiveness changed my life. It wasn’t easy at first and it took me a long time. Forgiveness is facing the truth of our  suffering, opening to it, and putting it out where we can see it clearly. Hiding from the hurt that we have suffered only perpetuates it.

Being willing to forgive—to see that forgiveness is here inside of us—opens the heart and allows compassion to flow — for ourselves and for whomever has hurt us.

Sometimes, forgiveness allows us to re-establish relationship with whomever has hurt us and at other times not.  After forgiveness, letting go of relationship can allow us to live our lives forward.

What happens when we don’t forgive? We keep ourselves in prison—ever tormented by some past action that caused us pain. We cling to harmful emotions like judgment, revenge, and hate. We keep ourselves from living our lives because forever stuck in the past, we are not present in the now.

We also talk about asking for forgiveness when we have hurt someone. The reality is that we have all hurt someone at one time or another. And, we can ask for forgiveness and show in our speech and actions that we are truly sorry and commit to living a life of alignment with our values.

Here’s what is true. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven and there is no one undeserving of forgiveness.

Forgiveness ends our suffering. It aligns us with our dignity and creates harmony in our lives. It allows us to let go of the pain we carry. 

This week I invite you to both forgive and seek forgiveness to lighten your burden and let joy flow.

I’m grateful that you stopped by to listen and I am also grateful for the people behind the scenes who make this podcast possible. 

Everyone who are members of the podcast;

Allie Allen for logo and podcast cover design; 

Gorgias Romero for original music, audio engineering and production;

Bill Rafferty for technical web support; and 

Margaret Haas for announcing the show.

Resources/Credits:
Jack Kornfield, 12 Principles of Forgiveness, The Greater Good Science Center, a video located at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-RBTd23RN0

DISCLAIMER:
The content in the podcast and on this webpage is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical or health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice and guidance of your health professional.

Thank you for listening!
Be well. Be mindful.