adoptee stories

We had SO MUCH FUN with this guest and we think you will too. Korean-Australian adoptee Ra Chapman is a writer, actor and dramaturg. She has strong ties with the adoption community and works closely with Asian-Australian and diverse artists. Ra is one of those people who has been on our list of guests to invite for a long time, but we were just waiting for the right moment—and here it is! Ra’s debut play, K-BOX, which won the 2021 Patrick White Playwright Award, will premiere at the Malthouse Theatre next month (and we are so freakin’ proud of her!). K-BOX is a surreal comedy with an Australian Korean adoptee main character named Lucy. Lucy has just quit her job, dumped her boyfriend, and turned up on her adoptive parents' doorstep needing somewhere to crash. She's depressed, she's a mess, and she's stumbled across an old cardboard box that was once full of childhood memories but is now completely empty. Lucy and her parents haven’t always seen eye to eye on everything, but when a K-Pop star mysteriously wanders into their lives and starts asking destabilising questions about her Korean roots, new fault lines are exposed in the family unit that become impossible to hide. In this episode Ra talks about the inspiration for K-BOX, as well as her transition from acting to writing. Then Ra shares her experience as an Asian Australian actor and writer, and her thoughts on diversity and representation in the Australian arts scene. Plus, we make our acting debut reading a short excerpt from K-BOX, we learn some industry lingo, such as “meat puppet”, and much more. K-BOX opens at the Malthouse Theatre, in Melbourne, Australia on 2nd September 2022. Book tickets here! https://www.malthousetheatre.com.au/tickets/malthouse-theatre/k-box/

Today we're in for a treat! An outcome of some gentle encouragement from me (Ryan), in this episode Hana shares a beautifully written account of her Korean language learning journey thus far. In the loose form of a listicle - because we can't resist a good list on this podcast - here's 10 'lessons' Hana has learned about, well, learning one's original language as an adoptee, how it differs from learning a foreign language as a hobby, the frustrations and joys, the pressures and the rewards. And of course, on brand, this episode gets deep into some feels.

In this episode we talk to the inimitable Jenny Heijun Wills and touch on some of the themes that - we feel - go to the very core of our stories and our storytellings as adoptees. Consent and access. Fact and fantasy. The challenges of charting our way through the stories people expect - often even demand of us since we were children - to aim for something that serves us: the nuanced narratives we deserve to have, and which we are allowed to create and invent. Jenny Heijun Wills is a multi-award winning creative writer and scholar, whose most notable contribution is the Writers' Trust Non-Fiction Prize-winning book titled Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related, published by Penguin Random House Canada in 2019. She is Professor of English at the University of Winnipeg and is currently writing two novels. ​For more on Jenny, head to: ​https://www.jennyheijunwills.com/ Twitter: @JennyHeijun IG: @jennyheijunwills

Born in Daejeon, Korea, and adopted to the United States at the age of ten months, Lee Herrick is the author of three books of poems: Scar and Flower, a finalist for the 2020 Northern California Book Award, Gardening Secrets of the Dead and This Many Miles from Desire. He is also the co-editor of the anthology The World I Leave You: Asian American Poets on Faith and Spirit. As well as being a celebrated poet, Lee is among one of the kindest, most generous, and sincere guests we have ever had the pleasure of talking to on the podcast. In this broad-ranging conversation, Lee treats us to a reading of two poems from Scar and Flower, including “How Music Stays in the Body.” We then speak to Lee about his journey to poetry, about the fundamental fire that drives his art, and his process of coming to peace and forgiveness following his second trip to Korea and an unsuccessful birth family search. Most of all, Lee wants all of us to be ok, and after talking to him we feel that - just maybe - we will be. CW: This episode mentions suicide. Read "How Music Stays in the Body" here: https://poets.org/poem/how-music-stays-body For more about Lee, head to: https://www.leeherrick.com/ Adoptee Literary Festival, 9 April 2022: https://www.adopteelitfest.com/

This is a special compilation episode featuring six powerful short pieces about first encounters with food from our birth cultures, read by their transracial adoptee authors, from our recent autobiographical writing workshop led by Korean adoptee Mee Joo Kim. Hana also has a little chat with Mee Joo about the value of adoptee-only spaces. We hope you love the short pieces as much as we did! We’d also like to thank the Overseas Koreans Foundation for making our writing workshops possible. If you would like to contact Mee Joo about future writing workshops or life coaching services, you can email her at kim.meejoo@gmail.com Stay tuned for more interviews with our writing workshop facilitators!

In this episode, we chat with Jeremy Holt, a non-binary author whose most recent works include Made in Korea, Virtually Yours, Before Houdini, and Skip to the End. Their latest comic series, Made in Korea, is about a Korean nine-year-old named Jesse, who is adopted and sent to live with a lovely couple in America. Equipped with an encyclopedic brain but socially awkward, Jesse’s journey through the complexities of race, gender, and identity hits a fork in the road when she discovers she’s not entirely human—yet. The story is so cleverly crafted and completely gripping - we couldn’t put it down. We thought we were gonna talk to Jeremy about Made in Korea, and maybe about being an identical triplet, and we did, but the conversation kept unfolding in unexpected ways. We start with how Jeremy found their creative calling as a comic writer while working a day job at Apple, and how they eventually got picked up by their dream publisher years after almost quitting writing altogether. We think this episode is really about following your dreams and realising your destiny. Yes - big, epic, stuff. Jeremy absolutely blew us away and this is one of our favourite interviews to date. *Spoiler Alert: We discuss Made in Korea's plot in this episode!*

This episode is all about leaving Korea and transitioning back to one’s adoptive country, and we found the perfect guests to talk about it. Kim Stoker first returned to live in Korea in 1995. She spent almost 20 years of her adult life there and has been based in the US since 2017. She was a leading activist in ASK (Adoptee Solidarity Korea) and continues to be an advocate for adoptee rights in South Korea. Eunha Lovell returned to Korea in 2007 after meeting birth family. While living in Korea, she has spent time learning Korean, working with single mothers and adoptees through GOA'L and Koroot, and attended Hongik University for graduate school. She has a YouTube channel called "The Returnees" that focuses on video portraits of Korean adoptees living in their motherland and she also practices Korean Traditional Painting. To learn more about Eunha, visit: www.eunhalovell.com We threw all kinds of big, unruly questions at Stoker and Eunha, and they were both so candid and generous in their replies. This is a free-flowing, meandering, deeply reflective conversation that touches on reverse culture shock, missing Korea during the pandemic, maintaining connections with Korean family, shifting identities, micro-aggressions experienced by adoptees within the Asian American community, and advice for adoptees planning to leave Korea. So many pearls of wisdom here! We also end with a random question segment in which we guess Stoker’s astrological sign.

We’ve had the privilege of speaking to so many people on the podcast and today’s guests are two of the warmest and most generous yet. Angela Gee and Robyn Joy Park are both Asian adoptees and licensed therapists based in the LA area, who serve the adoption community. Hana first crossed paths with Robyn almost 10 years ago in Seoul, when she co-facilitated a post-birth family reunion discussion group, and more recently, we saw Angela and Robyn speak at this year’s KAAN conference. When we approached them via email to talk on the podcast, their enthusiastic replies were like beams of sunshine radiating through our screens. Don’t you just love emails, and people, like that? In this conversation, Angela and Robyn talk about how they became therapists who specialise in adoption, the challenges and rewards of this work, how their mentorship relationship turned into a professional partnership and deep friendship, the online community they have built for adoptees of colour, some practical advice for adoptees looking for a new therapist or seeking therapy for the first time, and more—all with wisdom, candour, and humour. This conversation reminded us that although the pandemic continues to test and isolate us in various ways, we’re not alone. There are always new resources to be found and new connections to be made. Keep looking and keep reaching out. We are both cheering you on. Speaking of new resources, check out Robyn’s new podcast, “Labor of Love,” a podcast that centers and amplifies the voices of BIPOC adoptees navigating parenthood. You can find it on iTunes and Spotify, and follow on instagram at @laboroflovepodcast Finally, you too can get sorted into a Hogwarts house! Just visit wizardingworld.com and follow the prompts. (https://www.wizardingworld.com/news/discover-your-hogwarts-house-on-wizarding-world)

What do birth family reunion, drag, and skating have in common? For Australian Korean adoptee Ellie Kim, all of these things have helped her get to where she is today. In this casual, wide ranging convo, Ellie tells us about how meeting her birth family was a turning point in her life, and how she learned to embrace her numerous identities with the help of community, writing, and good mental health support. We also discuss self-care during lockdown, social media boundaries (or lack thereof), and therapy via Zoom. For anyone who’s unaware, Ellie and Ryan’s current city of Melbourne is - as of this episode's release - in its 241st day of lockdown: the longest, strictest lockdown in the world. There’s not much we can say or do, but we like to think of this as an audio condolence message to all our listeners undergoing lockdown in Melbourne and elsewhere - and invite you to imagine that we’re in your living room sharing a nice cup of tea, some chocolate (preferably Cadbury Marble), and perhaps donning an Oodie. More about Ellie: Ellie is a 30 something year old digital communications professional, sometime writer and okay roller skater living in Melbourne. She met her birth family in 2013 as part of G.O.A.L's First Trip Home and is very slowly writing a book about it. Feel free to follow her on the 'Gram at @irrellievancy for dodgy skate videos, dogs and food. Plus, check out Ellie’s piece in Archer magazine here: https://archermagazine.com.au/2021/07/celebrating-korean-australian-identity/

What is han (한)? What is jeong (정)? How can we apply them in our lives in a practical way? In today’s episode we unpack these Korean concepts and discuss how they may offer different insights from conventional Western psychology. Our guide for this conversation is Kristine Chong, a Korean American spiritual care practitioner and activist. Warm, genuine, and down-to-earth, Kristine tells us about her non-linear pathway to chaplaincy work, her multi-passionate career (a combination of spiritual care, activism, and coffee!), and her approach to ongoing healing, which may be as simple—and as difficult—as small actions, often. We also touch on shared experiences between 2nd generation and adopted Koreans, and the perceived pressure to feel “authentic” in one’s cultural identity. At the very end, Kristine guides us through a beautiful self-jeong healing practice, which you can try with us as you listen—perfect for sitting with any feelings of 2020 grief, anger and loss, and for heading mindfully into the holiday season. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us, Kristine! We truly felt the jeong over Zoom! About Kristine: Kristine Chong (she/her/hers) is a 2nd generation Korean American chaplain, activist, and online editor for Inheritance magazine. A former organizer, service provider, and researcher, Kristine’s ethos of spiritual care is rooted in the interconnectedness of spiritual and social change. Her praxis of care integrates liberationist, postcolonial, anticapitalist, and ecofeminist ethics. To read some of Kristine’s work, and to check out her magazine, please head to: https://www.inheritancemag.com/contributor/kristine-chong

Hey everyone, we’ve missed you! In this episode, the two of us sit down for a long overdue transcontinental catch up—but first, Hana shares another extended Seoul life update (she likes to do that)—in which she realises, “Oh s#*^! I live here now”. She also delves into the process of cultural adaptation and the anxiety of not knowing what’s next, followed by a little heart-to-heart with Ryan about life plans versus, uh, less-linear trajectories and the value of following your curiosity. Along the way, we discuss theories from two of our favourite gurus, of course: Brené Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert. What was intended to be a shorter mini-sode got a little blown out, but we hope you can sit down—with your morning coffee, afternoon tea, or covid happy hour martini—and enjoy. Brené Brown on Day 2: https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-on-day-2/ Elizabeth Gilbert on Hummingbirds vs. Jackhammers: http://www.oprah.com/own-supersoulsessions/elizabeth-gilbert-the-curiosity-driven-life-video

Hana wanted to get this guest on the pod for ages but was too afraid to ask, but now - hooray! - here he is. Kee Byung-keun is a food writer, photographer, and editor based in Tokyo. Born in Seoul sometime in 1984 and sent away to the United States soon thereafter, Kee was raised in rural Louisiana—where, as he says, the food was good but life was hard. Many years and many wrong turns later, Kee made his way to Tokyo, where he built a life and a community around the city’s superlative food scene. Kee joins us to talk about home, belonging, connection, and mental health. We discuss how he chose to leave the US, a difficult first trip back to Korea, life in Tokyo, starting therapy for the first time, and of course, food. To further explore Kee’s world, follow him on Instagram at @abathingegg or check out his website at https://kbk.cargo.site/

In this episode, we share the 2nd part of our conversation with Boon Young, Jenny, and kimura, three heavyweights of the global Korean adoptee community, who have committed decades of their lives to advocating for adoptee rights and social change in Korea. We talk about coming 'out of the fog,' why they first became involved in adoptee activism, what activism means and looks like, and what they've learned over their many years of experience. Listen to our previous episode for our discussion of Adoption Truths Day and the first annual conference, which took place on September 9th. The online conference will soon be made available to watch on YouTube. We will post a link on our Instagram and Facebook (@adoptedfeelspodcast) once it is up!

Nikki Lee Bix Webster is the creator of nikkioften, a visual arts project “dedicated to punching you in the heart with comics”—and she's very good at it. In this episode, Nikki talks to us about living in and leaving Korea, moving back to the U.S., creating home, drawing, and nurturing one's inner child. She shares what she's learned about relationships and break-ups, adoptee tendencies to perfectionism, growth, and the importance of humor. Nikki is a Korean American who grew up in Towson, Maryland and is currently living in LA county in California. She used to consider herself a Korean adoptee, but was reunited with her Korean birth family in 2012 and built a meaningful relationship with her immediate and extended family members for 5 uninterrupted years in South Korea. She returned to the United States in 2018 and now considers herself to be an overseas Korean or second-generation Korean American. Follow @nikki_often on Instagram or visit: www.nikkioften.com

In recent months, the Black Lives Matter Movement and anti-Asian covid-19 pandemic racism have prompted renewed urgent conversations regarding race among Korean and other Asian adoptees. In this conversation with Adam Goodman of Plan A Magazine and the Escape from Plan A podcast, we talk about racial and adoptee identity, and finding your voice as an Asian person. This is neither a guide nor a resource - there are numerous excellent texts out there, which we will link to on our socials! - but rather an intimate convo among Korean adoptees, that touches on internalized racism, whiteness, responsibility, and how learning is both a shared and ongoing process. Adam Goodman is a Korean adoptee who grew up in Westchester, NY along side his younger brother (also adopted and biologically related). He's now living in North Jersey with his girlfriend. In addition to his day job as a business analyst, he and a group of like-minded friends run an online publication, Plan A Magazine. Follow Adam (@snbatman) and Plan A Magazine (@planamag) on Twitter!

We’ve mentioned star signs a few times before on the podcast, but today we take it one step further by talking to professional astrologer and shamanic healer Mallory Gill. In this episode Mallory gives us a primer on astrology, what perspectives it can offer - particularly for adoptees - and we learn that Hana is a very-virgo-virgo, and Ryan is a scratch-the-taurus-surface & look out! there's a gemini. Our meeting with Mallory takes us in all sorts of directions, so heads up, our post-interview convo is one of our looser, rawer, and wilder ones. About Mallory: Seven years ago, in the midst of a spiritual awakening, Mallory heard a voice that said, "Give yourself a key. Give yourself a way to understand." A week later, she discovered astrology. Now she uses the guidance she's gained from the stars to help people understand the cosmic forces working in their lives and unfold their unique destinies. Mallory is also a shamanic healer who offers a variety of energetic techniques to help people blossom into their true selves. She has studied at the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, the Toltec shamanism based Artist of the Spirit Coach training program, and the Center for Psychological Astrology. If you'd like to get in touch with Mallory to book a session, she can be contacted at mallorygill1@gmail.com. p.s. We apologize for the audio quality - Zoom and Australian internet isn't the best combo. We've minimized the patchiness as best we can, and promise to ensure cleaner audio in future episodes!

[CW: suicide] This is the final episode of our 3-part series on adoptee suicide awareness and prevention, dedicated to a special member of our community who died last year. We speak with Louise, a Korean adoptee in Australia whose sister, also a Korean adoptee, died by suicide. Louise tells us her very personal story and shares her unique perspective on the impacts of her sister’s death, her grief journey so far, and her reflections on the relationship between adoption and mental health. In this conversation, Louise mentions: David Kessler, a grief counsellor and author who has suffered grief first hand when he lost his son. Kessler offers a free online 'Suicide Loss Support Series.' You can find this series and numerous other workshops and resources at: www.davidkesslertraining.com Leigh Sales' book 'Any Ordinary Day: Blindsides, Resilience and What Happens After the Worst Day of Your Life.' In it, she interviews people after they have lost someone special and talks about their journey with grief. Australia's suicide call back service (www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au). See our website for more links to support services in Australia, Korea, and the U.S.

In the second episode of our Adoptee Suicide Awareness series, we talk to Nicole Sheppard, a Korean adoptee, long-time community advocate and leader, and Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) from the Twin Cities, Minnesota. This is a long episode, but a super important one: we not only talk about suicide but about adoptee mental health in general. Our conversation covers things like: common risk factors for adoptee suicide, how we can look out for each other and talk about suicide in helpful ways, the importance of learning to identify our feelings, set boundaries, and advocate for ourselves, and how community spaces and vulnerability can be a crucial pathway to connection and to healing. About Nicole: Nicole was adopted to Minneapolis in 1978 at six months old and grew up with her older brother, also adopted from Korea. Korean culture camps played a formative role in Nicole's life, from kindergarten age through to high school, and during college when she returned as a camp counsellor. Nicole lived in Korea for 8 years in the 2000s, and during that time was actively involved in adoptee community development and advocacy, serving as Vice Secretary General of GOA'L for 6 years. Upon returning to the US, Nicole completed training to become a therapist. As a clinician, Nicole specializes in mindfulness and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy for adolescents and adults. In addition to her clinical practice, Nicole is working on a Korean Adoptee Mental Health and Suicide Research Project, which was created in response to unaddressed suicide issues within the Korean adoptee community. Her wealth of experience engaging in, and supporting, the adoptee community in a variety of roles enriches and informs her current work.

In today's episode we're talking about what its been like living in Korea during covid-19 times, and some of our coping strategies which have seen mixed success. And in the interests of distraction and frivolity, we end the episode with a random questions segment! Which is something we've wanted to do regularly on the podcast, but Ryan is just really bad at springing questions on the unsuspecting Hana. And one last thing- just after recording this episode, Hana underwent a covid scare and got tested. This 48-hour period was not at all amusing at the time, though it occurred to us that it might make a good story later. We wanted to share her experience with you all, so Hana recorded a separate segment and we've edited it in.