adult attachment styles

This week Kevin and Niseema follow up on the past two shows with Attachment Theory specialists Drs. Howard and Miriam Steele. Attachment Theory focuses on whether a child feels secure or insecure in their connection to, and "attachment to," the caretakers in their life. This early relationship influences the way a person will relate in their mature adult relationships. During the show, Kevin and Niseema ask some basic questions to help you determine whether you were securely or insecurely attached in childhood. See the attached questionnaire on the link below.

Kevin and Niseema also talk about research into "memory" and how our adult brains impose a memory on to our childhood brain. Statistics consistently show that the adult brain often creates a faulty "memory" of incidents that happened in the past. It's as if the brain takes a photograph of a past event and then distorts or enhances the photograph. The brain will often create a faulty memory of what love looked like in our childhood. It is this faulty memory that we project onto our future love relationships. It is astonishing what the brain/mind can do.

--------------------

For more information or support contact hosts Kevin O'Donoghue LMHC or Niseema Dyan Diemer SEP  at: info@thepositivemindcenter.com, or call 212-757-4488. 

You can sign up for our weekly newsletter at www.tffpp.org.

These are challenging times and we hope this episode served to validate and ease your anxiety about what you may be experiencing. 

Please feel free to also suggest show ideas to the above email. 

Thank you for listening,
Kevin and Niseema

www.tffpp.org
https://www.kevinlmhc.com
www.niseema.com
www.thepositivemindcenter.com

PRODUCTION CREDITS

Opening Music : "Another Country", Performed by: Shadowfax, Written and Produced by: Chuck Greenberg, Source:Windham Hill/Legacy

Break Music: "Kodachrome." Performed, Written and Produced by: Paul Simon,  Source: Legacy Recordings

End Music : TFFPP Theme - Giullian Goiello for The Foundation for Positive Psychology

The Positive Mind is produced with the help of:

Engineering: Geoff Brady

Producer: Connie Shannon 

Website Design and End Music: Giullian Gioello

Marketing and PR: Jen Maguire, Maguire PR, jen@maguirepr.com

Penny and José have been married for 9 years and have two daughters.  Penny worries about how distant José can be, and how he seems to compartmentalize his family life away from his work.  José, for his part, thinks Penny can be a bit clingy and needy and he often calls her out for being too 'emotional.'  Even though they love each other and want their relationship to work, they are really struggling.  Unknowingly, Penny and José are caught up in the famous 'anxious-avoidant trap' that often sabotages relationships.

In Episode 3 (Season 2) of the Infinite Capacity Podcast, host Andrea Morton takes you on a deep dive into the science of adult attachment in romantic relationships, highlighting the groundbreaking work of psychologist John Bowlby along with an outstanding new book "Attached. The new Science Of Adult Attachment And How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love," by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, M.A. 

Exploring 'anxious,' 'avoidant' and 'secure' attachment styles, Morton will help you to look closely at your own attachment style in romantic relationships and also the attachment style of your current or or past partner(s).  

She will also help you identify if you have a 'type' when it comes to attraction and attachment styles, in order to help you see patterns and understand complex relationship dynamics.  

This fascinating episode includes coaching tips and strategies to help couples like Penny and José to move forward  - together - on a productive path leading toward a more secure relationship.  

Whether you are new to a relationship, seeking a relationship, or have been in your relationship for decades, this episode is a must-listen!

Need some coaching feedback about your own life? Ask Andrea your question by emailing andrea@thinktothrivecoaching.com!

You can also reach out via Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn @thinktothrivecoaching

“The greatest fear we have is not the fear of our own death
but the death of someone we love.” Dr. Howard Steele PhD.  

This statement speaks to the depth of our need to feel connected and attached to others with whom we can feel safe and enjoy life.  In this week’s show, Kevin and Niseema continue to explore "Attachment Theory" with Drs. Miriam and Howard Steele, Directors of The Center for Attachment Studies at the New School for Social Research in New York City.  

The Steele's answer questions from our audience about bullying and how learning the skill of reflecting on your own experience as a child can inform how you parent now, as an adult. We also discover how the need for new ways to be cooperative and civil, rather than competitive, is the next step in our evolution as a species. Attachment interventions and research are available for parents, teachers, therapists, and leaders to learn how to make our world a more peaceful and loving place.

Howard Steele, PhD, is Professor of Psychology and former chair for Clinical Psychology at the New School for Social Research in New York City. At the New School Dr. Steele co-directs (with Dr. M. Steele) the Center for Attachment Research. Dr. Howard Steele is also founder and senior editor of the international scientific peer-reviewed journal Attachment and Human Development. Howard is the founder and first president of the learned society, Society for Emotion and Attachment Studies, www.seasinternational.org.

Miriam Steele, PhD, is Professor of Psychology, at the New School for Social Research where she co-directs (with Dr. H. Steele) the Center for Attachment Research. Dr. Miriam Steele is also an Anna Freud Center trained psychoanalyst. Miriam initiated the London Parent-Child Project, a major longitudinal study of intergenerational patterns of attachment, and has also carried out longitudinal attachment research in the context of child maltreatment and adoption. 

-----------------

For more information or support contact Kevin or Niseema at info@thepositivemindcenter.com, or call 212-757-4488. 

These are challenging times and we hope this episode served to validate and ease your anxiety about what you may be experiencing. 

Please feel free to also suggest show ideas to the above email. 

Thank you for listening,
Kevin and Niseema
www.tffpp.org
www.kevinlmhc.com
www.niseema.com
www.thepositivemindcenter.com

PRODUCTION CREDITS

Opening Music : Another Country, Pure Shadowfax, Shadowfax
Break Music: Geoff Brady
End Music : TFFPP Theme - Giullian Goiello for The Foundation for Positive Psychology

The Positive Mind is produced with the help of:

Engineering: Geoff Brady

Producer/ Research: Connie Shannon 

Website Design and End Music: Giullian Gioello

Marketing and PR: Jen Maguire, Maguire PR, jen@maguirepr.com