antinatalism

Doreen Caven was raised in a Catholic household in Nigeria, and she was a baby feminist even before she knew what the F-word meant. At an early age, she saw the role she was expected to fill, as a wife, a mother, submissive to men, and she wasn’t having any of it. Doreen and her younger sister, also childfree, now live in Los Angeles and run The Girls Like Me, a wonderful platform which amplifies the voices of African women, who are too often left out of the narrative around feminism and female empowerment. She shares her thoughts on religion, patriarchy, and how to shake off strict gender roles and soar to success!

Follow Doreen on Twitter @doreenglm and check out The Girls Like Me on Instagram at @thegirlslikeme

This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

Mohita Solanki was born in India, where pronatalism is everywhere. Her parents hoped their daughters would have children one day, but also insisted they get an education - and it’s this education that Mohita credits with opening her eyes to different options, other ways of living. Determined to live the life they wanted, Mohita and her husband left for Melbourne, Australia, where she works as a data analyst and runs a meetup group for 80 childfree women. We had a super eye-opening chat about her home culture, how patriarchy is all around us - in every country, even in our heads - and her hopes for the next generation.

If you're in Melbourne, you can join Mohita's group for childfree women here.

This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

In 1974, Marcia Drut-Davis appeared on TV news show 60 Minutes, explaining to her in-laws and the American public watching that she’d decided not to have children. The backlash was swift and severe: Marcia lost her job as a teacher, had her life threatened (and her dog’s!) and faced judgment from pro-natalists and even some in the childfree community. For 46 years, she’s been fighting to show the world, and childfree people ourselves, that we are valuable, that our choices are valid, and that can be as loving and nurturing as any mother. It was a privilege to look back on a life well-lived with a true childfree icon who blazed a trail for the rest of us.

Follow Marcia on Instagram @childfree_guru, join her Facebook group Confessions of Childfree People, and read her books Confessions of a Childfree Woman (2013) and What?! You Don’t Want Children? (2020).

Read the book that started it all for Marcia, The Baby Trap (1971) by Ellen Peck.

Watch part of Marcia’s 60 Minutes interview on the wonderful documentary To Kid Or Not To Kid (2018) And support another doco,  currently in development and also featuring Marcia, My So-Called Selfish Life.

This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

For 20 years, Dr Kate Tomas has worked with badass women and non-binary people to radically improve every element of their lives. In this open and empowering conversation, Kate shares professional insights and her own journey, from trying to get pregnant to living her best, ethically non-monogamous, childfree life.

Content warning: brief discussions of childhood abuse, infertility and abortion.

Follow Kate on Instagram at @katetomasphd

This episode is from the best of season 1 of We are Childfree. Sign up to the newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 launches 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

Celebrating an amazing year for We are Childfree, and an amazing first season of the podcast! 🥳 I was lucky enough to speak with 20 inspiring women and gender diverse people from all over the world, of all ages, from twenty-somethings up to role models in their 60s and 70s. Join me as I share my top 5 moments of season one, from my conversations with a women's spiritual empowerment mentor to a trailblazer who's been campaigning for the childfree for nearly 50 years. Oh, and I share some news about the exciting stuff that's coming next for We are Childfree. 🙌

Sign up to the We are Childfree newsletter to be first to find out when season 2 - and those exciting new things! - launch 👉 https://wearechildfree.com/newsletter

Welcome to episode 4 of living in bizarro world, the date is October 23rd, it's been a weird month for the both of us but we were lucky enough to see each other before the draconian travel vax mandate kicks in in Canada, covid news or more like hysteria, our weekend together in Toronto, amazon towns and robot dogsssssssss.  No doobie break this episode, we got edibled up. 

Let us know if we sucked (or didn’t) or if there is anything you’d like us to discuss by emailing us at wtf@livinginbizarroworld.com.

Follow us on soul-sucking social media

Insta: @living.in.bizarro.world

Twitter: @in_bizarro_world

FB: @livinginbizarroworld

RESOURCES BELOW:

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2021-09-16/amazon-s-new-factory-towns-will-lift-the-working-class

https://jacobinmag.com/2021/07/amazon-warehouse-communities-towns-geography-warehouse-fulfillment-jfk8-cajon-inland-empire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPLme2kG70s

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-nypds-robot-dog-was-a-really-bad-idea-heres-what-went-wrong/

https://www.civilbeat.org/2021/01/honolulu-police-spent-150000-in-cares-funds-on-a-robot-dog/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-nypds-robot-dog-was-a-really-bad-idea-heres-what-went-wrong/

https://www.theverge.com/2021/10/14/22726111/robot-dogs-with-guns-sword-international-ghost-robotics

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.timesofisrael.com/israel-to-start-vaccinating-kids-aged-5-11-who-have-severe-background-illnesses/amp/

Keltie Maguire is a clarity coach who's originally from Canada and now lives in Germany. It's only in the last six months, as she nears her 40th birthday, that Keltie's reached a 95% confidence in her choice to embrace a life without children. That last 5% is super important, because Keltie isn't someone to fully close the door on any possibility, preferring to live the most dynamic life possible. You'll hear about how for Keltie, like so many of us, the desire to be a mother simply never arrived, and how she found her way through this ambivalence, towards a joyful, fulfilling life. This one's a must-listen if you aren't sure whether you want children or not, as Keltie and I swap strategies for finding clarity and feeling comfortable with the life path you're currently on.

Find out more about Keltie at keltiemaguire.com and check out The Clarity Podcast wherever you get podcasts.

Listen to the We are Childfree episode with 78-year-old childfree trailblazer Marcia Drut-Davis, and my interviews with other older women role models Barbara Krulik and Shelley.

The books we talked about in this episode are The Baby Decision: How to Make The Most Important Choice of Your Life by Merle Bombardieri, and Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life by Luke Burgis.

Shelley is a clinical psychologist and second-wave feminist who's been fighting for our rights since the 70s. She was an early beneficiary of Roe vs Wade, which legalised abortion in the US, and chose to be sterilised at 21. Now that she's 65, it was a pleasure to look back with her over an action-packed life, to see how far we've come in the struggle for gender equality and bodily autonomy... and why we're still fighting! Shelley was the perfect person to speak to about the question of whether to have kids or not, as she's helped many women think through their options, and her example lights the way for anyone interested in taking the road less-travelled. If you're curious about the childfree choice, this one's packed full of advice and insights that could help your decision. And if you've made up your mind, this episode will give you an absolute icon to look up to!

We are Childfree was just named Childfree Group of the Year!

Find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

Elizabeth Ho is an actor who you might have seen on the Netflix stoner sitcom Disjointed featuring an up-and-coming star called *checks notes* Kathy Bates. She's also a postpartum doula, which has given her a close-up view of motherhood, and the mom role that Hollywood may soon expect her to play. Elizabeth knows "bone deep" that she doesn't want kids, and she's content to support her community, her parent friends, and she's happy being the weird other part of the family, the most authentic expression of herself.

In this episode, Elizabeth brought up my previous conversations with 78 year-old childfree trailblazer Marcia Drut-Davis and environmentalist Marie Fisher, from whom I learned that "mother is a verb". And I mention the United Nations Population Fund's report on bodily autonomy, which you can find here.

Follow Elizabeth at @realelizabethho on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok
And check our her adorbs Shih Tzus, Cooper and Coco on Instagram @hanginwithmrcoops

We are Childfree was just named Childfree Group of the Year!

Find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

In Donna Freitas' new novel, The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano, the eponymous heroine faces a dilemma. Before she got married, her husband promised her he didn't want children - but now he's changed his mind. Could happily childfree Rose will herself to become a mother in order to save her relationship, and if so, what might her life look like? Author Freitas found herself in this very scenario in her real life, and it made her question everything - her lack of a maternal instinct, her worth as a woman, what kind of future she could hope for, without children - or her husband - in it. It was so enlightening to speak to someone who's looked at the childfree choice from every possible angle, as a scholar of religion and gender studies, and the author of a Sliding Doors-style plot that dares to ask: what if...?

Learn more about Donna at donnafreitas.com and follow her on Instagram at @donnafreitas.writer. If you're childfree and would like to be interviewed by Donna for an upcoming project, contact her on donnamariefreitas@gmail.com.

You can buy The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano in the US on bookshop.org, in the UK at Waterstones and in Italian at Mondadori (with more languages on the way!)

We are Childfree was just named Childfree Group of the Year!

Find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

This is part two of my conversation with the incredible Dana, who came through childhood abuse and infertility to create a fulfilling and rewarding life. Listen to part one for Dana's childfree journey, which brings us to the story of how she and her husband became guardians and role models for the young people in their life. They volunteered to train military cadets, earning their trust so that they became confidantes - Dana even advised a woman who graduated from her youth group on her own decision to have children or not. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and any village would be lucky to have someone like Dana in it. This is an emotional one - as you'll hear, it literally brought me to tears!

We are Childfree was just named Childfree Group of the Year!
Find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

Enjoy part one of my conversation with the incredible Dana, a Filipino immigrant to the US who overcame childhood trauma to make sure that the kids in her life were looked after. She went through so much as a child, but that hasn't stopped her from living her life to the fullest, becoming a guardian to her godchildren and a role model for many other young people who look to her for support. When she met her husband, they found that they shared fertility issues, which became an unspoken ally in their decision to embrace a life without children. Dana is a testament to how we can go through so much in our lives, and to not just survive, but thrive.

We are Childfree was just named Childfree Group of the Year!
Read more childfree stories, and find out when the We are Childfree online community launches at wearechildfree.com

Daze used to think they had two options: become a homeschool mother on a farm in the valley where they grew up, or become a nun. Instead, they left their tiny fundamentalist Catholic community and went to college, where they learned about the outside world and their inner self. In recent years, Daze has found the language to describe who they really are: non-binary, autistic and childfree. It was fascinating to hear about how undiagnosed mental illness runs through Daze's family, how their own neurodivergence helped persuade a doctor to perform a tubal ligation, and to share our frustration at the state of the world, and the things we hope will change.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Imungu Kalevera defies the expectations for Kenyan women in a few ways. She's queer, childfree and a self-proclaimed career feminist, all of which make her a real rarity in majority Christian, sub-Saharan Africa. On a personal level, she's challenged her family's beliefs about all these parts of her identity, showing them that she can still create community, contribute to society and love the children in her life. And she had so much to teach me about the fight for gender equality in her country, and what needs to change in sex education, childcare, the health system, and the expected roles of men and women. Imungu is a pioneer, a passionate activist, and a wonderful conversationalist! 

If you're childfree and in sub-Saharan Africa, Imungu would love to connect with you on Facebook :)

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Barbara Krulik has lived a life! An independent curator and cultural manager, she came of age in New York, where like-minded creatives formed the core of a chosen family that has been there for her through to her 60s, and now spans four generations. In her early 20s, she decided she didn't want children, and has pursued a life of "solo polyamory" ever since, living alone but loving to spoil and nurture her friends and lovers. It was fascinating to hear what drove Barbara to avoid entanglements, all the places her work has taken her, and to learn about a social housing project being developed in the Netherlands, so that unrelated people from different generations can create a caring home together. Barbara is living proof that you don't need a partner, or children, to be fulfilled - a true inspiration.

Listen to Zoë guest on the Private Parts Unknown podcast, to hear her own childfree journey and what drove her to start We are Childfree.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Siyu is an only child of China's one-child policy, born in a very traditional part of the country. Yet, her parents never pushed her towards motherhood, and she's been able to lead a modern, international life, staying in three countries and six cities in the last five years. As the host of a Mandarin feminist podcast, Siyu was the perfect person to speak to about how her country is now trying to boost falling birth rates by allowing couples to have three children, and the expectations for women there. It's fascinating how such a personal decision has taken on political and social implications far beyond individual families.

Read about China's new three-child policy on Wikipedia, its implications for women's rights in the Washington Post, and other factors that could hamper population growth on Al Jazeera.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Daniela Echeverry is a 23 year old Colombian woman who recently received permanent birth control. I spoke to her six months after her tubal ligation, and she sounded so happy and healthy, with no regrets about her decision. It was really interesting to hear from someone in a majority Catholic, South American country, where access to reproductive healthcare is really restricted - even though Daniela herself didn't have too much trouble getting the operation she needed. Of course, I'm not a doctor, so if you're considering a tubal ligation, or a similar procedure, please seek medical advice. I'm just here to support women embracing their choices, whatever those may be - you go, Daniela!

Read Regretting Motherhood: A Study, by Orna Donath, and check out Daniela's Redbubble store for childfree merch.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Doreen Caven was raised in a Catholic household in Nigeria, and she was a baby feminist even before she knew what the F-word meant. At an early age, she saw the role she was expected to fill, as a wife, a mother, submissive to men, and she wasn’t having any of it. Doreen and her younger sister, also childfree, now live in Los Angeles and run The Girls Like Me, a wonderful platform which amplifies the voices of African women, who are too often left out of the narrative around feminism and female empowerment. She shares her thoughts on religion, patriarchy, and how to shake off strict gender roles and soar to success!

Follow Doreen on Twitter @doreenglm and check out The Girls Like Me on Instagram at @thegirlslikeme

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Mohita Solanki was born in India, where pronatalism is everywhere. Her parents hoped their daughters would have children one day, but also insisted they get an education - and it’s this education that Mohita credits with opening her eyes to different options, other ways of living. Determined to live the life they wanted, Mohita and her husband left for Melbourne, Australia, where she works as a data analyst and runs a meetup group for 80 childfree women. We had a super eye-opening chat about her home culture, how patriarchy is all around us - in every country, even in our heads - and her hopes for the next generation.

If you're in Melbourne, you can join Mohita's group for childfree women here.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com
And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤

Sarah Chebaro has already done a lot with her life! An avid traveller, Sarah was born in Kuwait, and has lived in England, Spain and the Netherlands. Having trained as an architect, Sarah’s now switched careers to journalism, driven by a desire to tackle sensitive subjects and speak the truth. Sarah attributes her energy to her ADHD diagnosis, and she’s aware that she couldn’t have done half the things she has, if she'd had children to look after. We get into different cultures' expectations for women, accepting that you'll never fit in, and what it's like to have a super-supportive mother who tells you things like, "If you have any doubts, that's really a 'no'."

Find Sarah on LinkedIn.

Read more childfree stories at wearechildfree.com

And follow We are Childfree on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook 🖤