attachment issues

Adam Lane Smith is a psychotherapist and an author. Adam wrote one of the best threads on Twitter which I've seen this year, our first episode on this ended up being an absolute favourite so here we go again with some more uncomfortable psychology insights. Expect to learn why RedPill alpha gurus are taking advantage of you, why "I love you but I'm not in love with you" is a red flag, how men & women bond differently during sex, why needing to be right will keep you friendless and stupid, why you should never tweet for midwits, how women in hookup culture don't realise they're being used and much more... Sponsors: Join the Modern Wisdom Community to connect with me & other listeners - https://modernwisdom.locals.com/ Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours at https://www.drinklmnt.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get a $5 discount on Magic Spoon’s amazing cereal at https://magicspoon.com/modernwisdom (use code MODERNWISDOM) Get 20% discount on Reebok’s entire range including the amazing Nano X1 at https://geni.us/modernwisdom (use code MW20) Extra Stuff: Check out Adam's original Twitter Thread - https://twitter.com/TheBrometheus/status/1381710882225328135 Check out Adam's Website - https://adamlanesmith.com/  Subscribe to Adam's YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBO093GsMmnA9tb8lZPhbgg  Get my free Reading List of 100 books to read before you die → https://chriswillx.com/books/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/modernwisdompodcast Email: https://chriswillx.com/contact/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Adam Lane Smith is a psychotherapist an author. Humans are not transparent to ourselves. We are complex creatures who operate on ancient programming. Having spent years and years as a practicing psychotherapist for men, women and couples, Adam has come to learn some insights about us which he put into an epic Twitter thread and that's what we go through today. Expect to learn why women are disgusted when they learn how the male sex drive works, why having an asshole for a child is your fault, why performative sex stops a woman from orgasming, why depressed men probably don't need medication, the truth about overcoming sexual trauma, how your brain stops you from having sex with your sister and much more... Sponsors: Get 10% discount on your first month from BetterHelp at https://betterhelp.com/modernwisdom (discount automatically applied) Get perfect teeth 70% cheaper than other invisible aligners from DW Aligners at http://dwaligners.co.uk/modernwisdom  Extra Stuff: Check out Adam's original Twitter Thread - https://twitter.com/TheBrometheus/status/1381710882225328135 Check out Adam's Website - https://adamlanesmith.com/  Buy How To Get A Girlfriend - https://gumroad.com/l/htgagf  Get my free Ultimate Life Hacks List to 10x your daily productivity → https://chriswillx.com/lifehacks/ To support me on Patreon (thank you): https://www.patreon.com/modernwisdom - Get in touch. Join the discussion with me and other like minded listeners in the episode comments on the MW YouTube Channel or message me... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chriswillx Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/chriswillx YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/ModernWisdomPodcast Email: https://www.chriswillx.com/contact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is “I’m sorry” as a habitual response really about? There’s the preemptive apology that is offered to forestall possible criticism, the apology that evokes reassurance from others, the apology for falling short of perfection…and more. This episode explores developmental, interpersonal, and intrapsychic dynamics of various kinds of habitual apologizing. We’ll be sorry if it falls short of your expectations.

 

The Dream:

I'm at a holiday "work party" for the very exclusive private school where I work, but it's in a big, old, rather shabby hotel that reminds me of a firehouse where my family used to have annual holiday gatherings. I'm mingling among all of the people and (as is true in my conscious life) can't seem to find a group with which I feel completely comfortable or myself. I feel like a lonely misfit in disguise,  feigning conformity and pleasant attitude.  I go upstairs to where the bathroom is supposed to be, and it feels very far away from the party--the second floor is creepily empty and quiet, with several large, empty rooms. I don't remember actually going into a bathroom, but as I'm about to go back downstairs to the party, I see an infant boy teetering at the top of the staircase on the landing. He is far too small to be walking. I immediately pick him up to save him, and he looks up at me, clearly distressed, and begins speaking as a much older child would. I ask him where his mother is, and he says he doesn't know, and is crying.

 

I don't remember all of what he says, but he tells me that he is in kindergarten. I hold him to my chest and he begins to calm down, eventually falling asleep. I feel affection for him and give him a kiss on the cheek, but I'm alarmed and unsure of what we will do. I go downstairs to the bartender of this party and ask where this boy's mother might be. He says, "probably in the party upstairs."  No one at the work party seems to notice or care that I have this lost baby. I go back upstairs, and as before, there is no one there--just an open door exposing a room with these creepy, industrial looking blue closet doors (almost like storage spaces) underneath a fluorescent light. I feel a deep sense that this situation is not right, and a strong determination to get myself and the baby out of there. The dream ends with me standing on the landing, baby still pressed against me.