auraten

In today's episode we will be talking to Tejal, a therapist specializing in couples therapy and maternal mental health who is also mom to two young boys about some of the challenges second generation South Asian millennial parents face.

As I always say parenting is one huge experiment. We all aspire to be better than the generation before us. But no one actually knows what they're doing. And just when you think you've got it all figured out our kid shows us otherwise. 

Being queer in a desi family is a tough battle. It can be a tragic, traumatic and isolating experience. Fearing social ostracization parents often respond to their child coming out with choice epletives and rage coupled with shame and guilt for bringing shame to the family. Sometimes the reactions can be violent and extreme in nature; physical abuse, banishment, stopping monetary support for education, etc.  Your entire life is spent maneuvering around the potholes of ignorant assumptions or questions and under the weight of other people's morality resulting in total disgust of who you are. As if this one thing defines you in your entirety. Feigning support while saying things like "well you can still dress like a girl, at least." is disingenuous at best. 

The right way to respond to someone coming out to you is to remind them that this doesn't change anything. If it does, you aren't an ally. 

Queer desi youth struggle with depression and anxiety which follows them into adulthood as a result of their life experiences. Thankfully, their has been an increasing amount of representation in South Asian pop culture which is creating a bit more openness for queer desis. But we're nowhere close to inclusivity, so we MUST continue sharing our stories in the hope of a better tomorrow. 

In this episode the Auraten will be exploring SEX! It’s one of the most important ways we can get to know ourselves, our sexual selves and desires to own and explore.

It’s that hush-hush topic that we could never talk about for ourselves. Our parents never gave us the birds and the bees talk, we were embarrassed to talk about it even with our closest friends and all along, everywhere else, we were getting shame signals and beliefs telling us it’s wrong, scary or dangerous, especially for women. Yet, it’s all around us - in education, movies, shows, laws, economy, relationships, books, like there’s literally a 2000 year old book called the Kama Sutra that is about the sexual goal of pleasure and not procreation. 

And why not? Why do we accept this toxic, pervasive culture of discomfort when it comes to sex or anything related to sexual pleasure for brown women in our families and communities? Why can’t we talk like it’s a normal part of being human, of being women? Well, Sexy Auraten are here to talk about sex and normalize talking about it - openly and candidly! We’ll share how we learned about sex as young people in our own desi families, why we’re afraid to talk about sex and what we wish we could have said to our 20-year old selves.

Sammy, Amna and Geet talk about what they do to unwind, relax and reset from our hyperconnected world.  "People who love themselves, don't hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer." - Dan Pearce

Loving yourself is at the heart of a successful life. When you love and respect yourself, you take space for yourself to explore your own curiosity, contemplate your thoughts, work through the challenges, celebrate your successes...You automatically respect and welcome that need in another into your life. When people like this come together you encourage that in each other and unknowingly work towards creating a better world. 

Auraten chimes in on the conversation around the Roe v. Wade discussion that's all over the news after Justice Alito's draft opinion leak. Should women have bodily autonomy? 

 

Disclaimer: the artwork used as the episode artwork does not belong to us. We borrowed it from the Aurat March 2019 placards to make a point. The struggle for equality around the world is the same for women - the injustices are different.