Nat felt like she could do it all - parent, serve, maintain her sense of self. What were these other mums talking about?! And then she had her second baby. Conflicting nap times and stretched capacity saw her inner rage monster rear its ugly head.
Nat was grappling for control and seeing sin come out - she was not the mother she wanted to be. On this weeks episode we chat through Nats experience of assessing her priorities and strategically putting practices in place to cultivate a life that reflected her biggest love, Jesus.
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"The rage monster. It reared in me. I'd go from experiencing these beautiful moments with my kids. And then a few minutes later, raging that they weren't behaving how I wanted them to a door shut too loudly when I'd just gotten the baby to sleep was enough to set me off".
"If I was telling my kids that knowing Jesus is the best thing in life, I wanted them to see that I was truly living that. So I knew I needed to orientate my days to show that he is my first love".
"I could come to him in this sorry, state, that he loved me enough to take me as I was. But he also loves me enough that he doesn't want to leave me in that place. And it's the same for anyone with any sort of sin in their life. And so I reconcile to pursuing Jesus wholeheartedly."
"I'll read it to tick that box off on my to-do list, but it won't sink into my heart and change me."
"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere."
"There's no need to run away in shame from your maker and there's no need to remain stuck where you are."