cindyw

Never a time when food wasn't the most important thing to me.

First OA Meeting when I was 12.

At 23 I was my top weight 423 but because I was young the physical damage was not that bad yet.

I broke toilets, lived through surgical complications and more all because of my weight without any change.

My body was killing me and I couldn't do anything. It was the only body I knew

When I fanallly return to OA that meeting was about death and I felt at home.

For the first year I  sponsored myself rigorously and had some results until I hit my own plateau several times.

Regardless of where I was food wise I never left the program.

I am two different people. My life in the food and my life in recovery.

Today I have a life where I am trusted, I experience love in both directions and I have self esteem.

Don't have any memory before food.

I was over 400 lbs by 14 years old.

This disease stole so much of my life.

I have always felt bodily and mentally different from my fellows.

Fear of what can happen to me only sent me deeper into the food.

Today, working the steps, being free from my food obsession, my life is a constant miracle.

I have lived in the same place long enough to have them raise my rent, What a gift.

I couldn't loose weight, even for $5000 dollars.

Even my therapist convinced me I was different.

I was NOT a dieter.

Once in OA I never left. There really was nowhere else for me to go.

I was full of anger. OA has released me from that aura.

I even want the best for my Ex-husband - BIG Miracle.

Today I can truly look at food as art, and not miss it as food.  Really.

1st Meeting at age 12

Mom was my eating buddy and my diet buddy.

Today I want the best for my ex-husband and it not even fake.