complexes

The judgmental inner voice has volume, speed, pitch and range. It may appear as a perfectionistic critic, demanding taskmaster, or abusive bully. It also seeps in through the collective, with criteria for beauty, status, and wealth that are unrealistic and artificial. At its worst, this punitive, shaming complex incites self-destructive behavior, and has long been imaged by witches, warlocks, ogres and fiends.

Most of us would never treat anyone as badly as we sometimes treat ourselves. This internalized dynamic seesaws between extremes of idealized expectations and punitive backlash that pretends to be ‘for our own good.’ Like Sisyphus, we labor to roll the stone of achievement uphill when what is needed is self-acceptance, compassion, and the courage to confront the negative voice. Authentic encounter creates a vessel for transformation through consciousness. It makes room for choice, freedom—and soulful self-acceptance.  

Here's the dream we analyze:

"I found a tiny fish in the sink. It was really beat up but alive, so I got a bowl of water for it and put it there, but it immediately started outgrowing the bowl. I got a bigger bowl but as soon as I put it there, the fish got bigger. I got a tub of water and put it there and it got even bigger. It had stripes and it was looking at me and interacting with me the whole time. This fish seemed to have a soul." 

References:

Robert Firestone. Overcoming the Destructive Inner Voice: True Stories of Therapy and Transformation. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071D7ZNLS/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_Y1SXYA5KCYZBYZR4Y3EZ

Although only some of us talk aloud to ourselves, all of us have inner voices, even if we are not aware of them. These autonomous parts of ourselves provide running commentary on how and what we are doing. Are our inner commentators friendly and supportive, or critical and attacking? We turn to fairy tales, stories that arise from the collective unconscious, for wisdom about our relationship with those parts of ourselves that tend to operate autonomously. The Ill-Fated Princess must climb a mountain to confront and befriend her “bad Fate,” after which her destructive unconscious complex befriends her. In Vasalisa the Beautiful, a loving mother gives her daughter a doll that provides good advice in difficult situations. The bad Fate and Vasalisa’s doll illustrate the process of noticing how we relate to other parts of ourselves—and by changing a negative inner dynamic we become more whole.

Dream

I am alone in Aunt Gloria’s house and I know I’m there because I am house- and pet-sitting for her. There are several cats I’m taking care of but suddenly a bird flies in the window and all the cats are chasing it. Then a stray cat gets in and all are hissing and bristling. I run down the stairs and there are two mice on an armrest, but one appears almost dead. When I look closer, it is dead and there is a note by it that says something like “Satan, I know you could’ve done this deal yourself.” I look up and a bedraggled and skinny old man is standing at the top of the stairs and I know then his name is brandy-mouthed Bob. I’m frightened of him. He comes down the stairs toward me aggressively and said, “ Should we throw some punches?” I didn’t know what to do so I grabbed his skinny wrists and tried to hold his arms back, afraid he would bite me.