defensive

Self Confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgment. Each of us have a measure of self confidence, and I would argue that it is designed by God to be good. But it is not always good. Sometimes it is driven by pride and built upon the wrong idea, high self estimation. This does all kinds of damage. But when self confidence is built on something else, something amazing from God, then everything about it is wonderful. And you can have more of it, in the name of Jesus, than ever before. 

- What is "self confidence"?

- Is it a good thing or a bad thing?

- What happens when my confidence is based upon pride?

- Is it possible to have high self confidence and be a humble person?

- What role does God's Grace have in your self estimation and confidence?

Welcome to our follow-up conversation on the Renovate Live talk, "Who You Say I Am," where Ben shared an alternative to the defensive vs. defeated mindsets we so often find ourselves in when grappling with who we want to be. Our guests Lilly Park (Ph.D, author and professor of biblical counseling) and Ryan McCarthy (pastor and biblical counselor) explore hot topics like guilt, shame, anxiety, depression, victimization, brokenness, hurt, humility, community and other areas where we tend to talk ourselves out of a healthy view of identity. Join the conversation! Listen here, and reach out to us at www.renovateftw.org, or on social media: @renovateftw

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Being defensive is something I know we have all experienced, but some of us struggle with it more than we realize. Defensiveness will cause issues in relationships & stunt your personal growth, so we should do our best to overcome. Let's chat about it today!

Show Notes:

• We all have had those moments where we are real defensive & want to push back on what someone is trying to project onto us or claiming that we are or did & it’s never fun.
• And if you aren’t sure what defensive behavior would be, it can look like you quickly getting upset & offended by something someone said to you or about it, if it’s second hand, or you quickly denied what was being said without giving it any thought or different perspective or even trying to deflect & want to throw that person’s problems back in their face, you are defensive.
• Being defensive is likely a symptom of being insecure & not believing you are good enough. And this doesn’t mean you are a bad person, but it does mean you will get in your own way a lot & cause friction with some of your relationships. 
• If you are unable to receive criticism, even if it’s constructive, without feeling like you’re being attacked, how are you going to be able to grow & evaluate your actions from a different perspective to see if it was wrong or not the best it could be? It’s not going to happen very often if you at least listen. And if you aren’t able to take responsibility for your actions because you often try to blame someone else because you’re defensive & don’t want to be cast in a negative light, it’s going to get old real quick.
• And having more open communication within relationships is the best way to keep those healthy & stable. But you can’t do that by not even entertaining the idea that you could be in the wrong.
• Something else to consider is that you could be defensive if you are already highly critical of yourself & aren’t allowing yourself to fail & make mistakes gracefully. There is no such thing as perfection. You are going to have missteps & you need to accept that truth. I say it all the time, mistakes & failures are some of the best learning opportunities. So shifting the blame to someone else isn’t going to serve you well or make you look good.
• Let’s chat about how we can work on being less defensive:
• 1. Recognize you being defensive.
• 2. See criticism as feedback you can use to better yourself or see yourself from someone else’s perspective.
• 3. Don’t interrupt when being told something unsavory & practice active listening.
• 4. Don’t criticize the other person instead.
• 5. Take a break from the situation.

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabrinajperozzo to chat!

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Have any questions, comments or feedback?  Send me an email at realpositivegirlpodcast@gmail.com!

See you for the next episode!

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This week, meet our 2021 Naismith Men’s defensive Player of the Year Davion Mitchell of the national champion Baylor Bears! Plus we announce our 2021 Jersey Mike’s Courage Award winners!

• How defensive became important to Davion
• How the Bears overcame their Covid Shutdown
• Life in the Indy bubble

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JOIN US THIS Saturday 1pm EST on CBS Sports Network for the Jersey Mike’s Naismith Women's and Men's Players of the Year Announcement!

Our big weekend is here! Join Bob Rathbun for the latest on the 2021 Naismith Defensive Player Award winners, 2021 Werner Ladder Naismith Coaches of the Year, and a preview of the Final Fours!

Plus, we’ll catch up with 2018 Naismith Defensive POY Jevon Carter!

• Tune in to CBS Sports Network Saturday 4/3 at 1 PM ET for the Jersey Mike’s Men’s and Women’s Naismith Player of Year Awards!
• Bob reveals the 2021 Werner Ladder National Coaches of the Year
• Plus, a conversation with West Virginia’s Jevon carter (now of the Phoenix Suns) the 2018 men’s defensive POY!

Have a favorite that you think deserves the award?
Make your voice heard and VOTE NOW !! naismithfanvote.com

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Dr. Laura Gallaher is an Organizational Psychologist, Speaker, and Leadership Coach. She began her career at NASA Kennedy Space Center. After the Space Shuttle Columbia exploded upon re-entry in 2003, killing everybody aboard, Kennedy Space Center hired Laura and a team of organizational psychologists to change the cultural influences that were deemed to play a role in the tragedy. She worked for 8 years with NASA to positively influence culture, develop leadership capacity, and improve organizational performance at Kennedy Space Center.

She was also hired to help manage the change associated with radical changes in the performance management process and philosophy at Walt Disney Parks & Resorts.

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Tony Blauer from Blauer Tactical Systems is our guest. Tony is an expert in hand to hand combat, self defense and the martial arts. He teaches his SPEAR system self defense and hand to hand combat to Military, Law Enforcement and civilian groups. Tony talks about popular misconceptions about law enforcement use of force, from handcuffing to subduing resisting suspects. Plus, the amazing lack of sufficient self defense training for Law Enforcement Officers across the Country.

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