S1 Episode 11: Relationship Dirty Laundry Should Stay in the Hamper
Episode Summary
We are all guilty of it! Airing complaints about our partner and our relationship to anyone who will listen. As satisfying as it may feel short-term, there could be serious consequences from your vent session.
By letting family and friends know intimate details about your partner (even the flattering ones) you can create discomfort, embarrassment, and a violation of boundaries and trust between you and your partner, or the people you shared with. Moreover, you open yourself up for judgment, criticism and potential backlash.
Airing relationship dirty laundry should be reserved for a therapist or trusted advisor, where you can expect confidentiality and advice. Put yourself in the place of your partner. Practice empathy and imagine how you would feel if your partner was sharing negative things about you, your habits or behaviors.
At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when partners apply a double-standard between their family members and yours.
Show Notes
Have you been airing out your relationship dirty laundry? You should not be doing this—that information needs to stay in the hamper. That said, almost all of us are guilty of airing dirty laundry about our relationships to family, friends, or coworkers at least once, whether for venting or validation.
However, by sharing this information, you risk it making its way back to your partner. Plus, if you put yourself in the position of your partner, it probably wouldn’t feel very good knowing that conversation was had. What you say could also influence the people you’re telling negatively against your partner and may change the way they look at them. While you may be able to get over the situation, the person you shared this intimate information with may not.
When you air your dirty laundry, the people you tell aren’t usually getting the full story. Rather, they are getting your perception about what happened. You may realize later on that you contributed to the situation or just experienced a simple miscommunication.
You may also want to consider that airing your dirty laundry may make the person you’re telling uncomfortable. This could be because the topic itself makes them uncomfortable, or it could make them feel uncomfortable around your partner, or even both. There are just so many reasons to keep your relationship dirty laundry in the hamper.
In this episode, the vent session topic is: When your partner applies a double-standard between their family member versus your family member. It’s unfair and creates animosity towards the favored family member. It reflects a power imbalance in the relationship and should not be tolerated.
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