#exvangelical

Here’s a shocker: Jesus asked questions! In the Gospels, we know Jesus asked questions of God, of Pharisees and Scribes, of his disciples, and of the crowds that followed him around. He taught by using parables, which often created more questions than answers. Elane and Benton discuss questions and the important part they play in the life of a Jesus-follower.

Cocktail: The Mayday

Theme song is "Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)" recorded by Benton Stokes. Find Benton's songs wherever you stream music.

December is a month full of celebrations, observances, and traditions. Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa are all objectively significant, while being extraordinarily different. Elane and Benton chat about each and why trying to make them somehow the same isn’t a great idea.  

Cocktail: Cranberry Party Punch

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Ever feel like you’d rather be on the Island Of Misfit Toys than sitting at Aunt Matilda’s Christmas dinner table? We have too! Sometimes old ideas, traditions, and family dynamics are more than you want to deal with. Elane and Benton chat about what to do if the holiday season feels like an itchy, ill-fitting sweater to you this year. 

Cocktail: Rye Manhattan

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Gratitude is one of those things many of us think we’re pretty good at. I mean, how hard can it be to be grateful? Turns out, pretty darn hard sometimes. As important as counting blessings is, the practice of gratitude is about a lot more than that. Elane and Benton discuss. 

Cocktail: The Bensonhurst

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Elane and Benton look at the various parts of the Jesus Prayer—also known as the Lord’s Prayer—and discuss what we can learn from what Jesus was teaching his disciples about how to pray.

Cocktail: Martini

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

All of us Christians know that we are supposed to confess our sins. But what does that mean exactly? To whom do we confess, and what happens after? Elane and Benton explain and demystify confession in this episode from their series on reclaiming spiritually confusing and abusive language

Cocktail: The Summitt

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

We all know the measure of holiness we should aspire to is Jesus. But it’s hard not to notice the spiritual chutzpah—or lack thereof—of others. And it can get us into trouble. Elane and Benton chat about getting (and keeping) our egos in check where our spiritual lives are concerned.

Cocktail: The Editor

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Many of us have difficult relationships with our bodies—our urges, needs, and desires—because of we’ve been taught that God thinks flesh is bad. [Spoiler alert: God doesn’t think that at all.] Benton and Elane take part the word ‘flesh,’ another in their series on reclaiming shame-promoting language for post-evangelical and queer Christians.

Cocktail: Autumn In Manhattan

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Most of us probably grew up with the notion that God is an old white man, with flowing hair and a beard, who we refer to as Father. Elane and Benton talk about God as paternal figure, and why it’s useful to try on new ideas.  

Cocktail: Boulevardier

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

What is home for you? Is it where you grew up? Where your family is? Where your friends are? Is home a place or a state of mind? Benton and Elane discuss the complicated ideas we have about home in front of a live audience. Recorded October 10, 2022 in Nashville.

Cocktail: Steeple

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

What makes a protestant protestant? Why are there so many denominations, categories, labels and sub-labels of churches in the US? Join Elane and Benton for a church history lesson. 

Cocktail: The Smoldering Orange

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Benton and Elane discuss the word ‘repent’—what it is and what it isn’t and why it shouldn’t be followed with an “or else.” Another episode in their series on reclaiming Christian-ese language. 

Cocktail: Key Lime Matcha Cocktail

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Elane and Benton chat about the meanings—the Latin, the Hebrew, and the English—of the word “abomination.” What qualifies as an abomination? Why would someone use the word at all, especially in reference to another person? And what are the things God considers abominable?

Cocktail: Lemon Drop

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Suppose the Bible is a living, transformative bunch of books meant to be read with the purpose of learning something new each time you read it? How crazy would THAT be?? Enter Lectio Divina, a meditative way of reading Scripture that invites the Holy Spirit into the experience with you. Elane and Benton discuss this enlightening spiritual practice.

Cocktail: Sidecar

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

NEW EPISODE OUT NOW! Elane and Benton discuss the doctrine of substitutionary atonement--the idea that Jesus had to die to satisfy God’s wrath toward humankind. Spoiler: there are problems with this concept.

New episodes every Thursday. Listen wherever you stream podcasts!

Cocktail: Benton’s White Sangria 

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

NEW EPISODE OUT NOW! What is deconstruction anyway? It’s a popular term for taking apart religious beliefs when they no longer work for you. But what happens if you take a sledgehammer to everything you believed about God, church, and yourself without building something new from the rubble? Elane and Benton talk about what comes next.

#progressivechristian #queerchristian #lgbtq+ #cocktails #spirituality #spiritual #exvangelical #postevangelical #religioustrauma #churchabuse #deconstruction #reconstruction 

Cocktail: Amelia Earhart

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Benton and Elane talk about one of their favorite topics, the Holy Spirit. She can be dramatic and unpredictable. She can be a quieting, awe-inspiring Presence. (They also talk about why they refer to Her with feminine pronouns.) But what does it mean to be “Spirit-filled?” Another episode in their series on reclaiming Christian-ese language.

Cocktail: Gin & Tonic 

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Elane and Benton chat about what it means to forgive—what forgiveness is, what it isn’t, and why it’s important to not rush it. Based on their School For Seekers course, Forgiving Well. 

Cocktail: Daiquiri 

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Faith and science have a tough time coexisting. Whether it’s climate change, COVID, or evolution, Christians and scientists disagree on many things. But there’s one thing they most certainly have in common. Benton and Elane discuss. 

Cocktail: CT Berry Gimlet

Theme song: “Moving On (Feels Pretty Good)” recorded by Benton Stokes. Full song available wherever you stream music.

Kat and Val do drugs now. They are so proud! Laugh and explore with our hosts as they share what they are learning about recreational and therapeutic uses of various substances, what old attitudes about drugs they happily moved away from and the extraordinary pleasure of partaking!

*This podcast is for entertainment purposes only

Find us on Instagram:
Kat and Val Podcast

Val's offerings:
So This is Love Club
Reset Yourself for Love Program
Instagram So This is Love Club

Kat's offerings:
Fat Liberation Art -Fat Mystic Etsy Shop
Instagram Fat_Mystic_Art

Additional resources/definitions referenced in most episodes:
How to Change Your Mind (Netflix Docuseries) Micheal Pollan
The Gottman Institute: Dreams Within Conflict
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Jill Johnson Young- grief talker
Five Stages of Grief
Intuitive eating.org
NAAFA National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance
Tell Me I'm Fat - This American Life
Prentis Hemphill
Vitamin D gummies!!!!!!
Adrienne Maree Brown
Pleasure Activism; The Politics of Feeling Good
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
Book by Emily Nagoski
Attached - Book by Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller
Understanding Dopamine: Love Hormones And The Brain
Enneagram
The Four Tendencies
Myers Briggs Personality Profiles
Highly Sensitive People (HSP)