failures

We all tell stories about ourselves, often without realizing we’re doing so. How we frame those stories can profoundly shape our lives. In the kickoff episode to our month-long series on healing, psychologist Jonathan Adler shares how to tell our stories in ways that enhance our wellbeing.

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We tend to think of tragedies as a single terrible moment, rather than the result of multiple bad decisions. Can this pattern be reversed? We try — with stories about wildfires, school shootings, and love.

RESOURCES

• Right Kind of Wrong: The Science of Failing Well, by Amy Edmondson (2023).
• "Michigan School Shooter Is Found Eligible for Life Sentence Without Parole," by Stephanie Saul and Dana Goldstein (The New York Times, 2023).
• "How Fire Turned Lahaina Into a Death Trap," by Nicholas Bogel-Burroughs, Serge F. Kovaleski, Shawn Hubler, and Riley Mellen (The New York Times, 2023).
• The Violence Project: How to Stop a Mass Shooting Epidemic, by Jillian Peterson and James Densley (2021).
• "I Was Almost A School Shooter," by Aaron Stark (TEDxBoulder, 2018).

EXTRAS 

• "Is Perfectionism Ruining Your Life?" by People I (Mostly) Admire (2023).
• "Why Did You Marry That Person?" by Freakonomics Radio (2022).
• "What Do We Really Learn From Failure?" by No Stupid Questions (2021).
• "How to Fail Like a Pro," by Freakonomics Radio (2019).
• "Failure Is Your Friend," by Freakonomics Radio (2014).

SOURCES:

• Amy Edmondson, professor of leadership management at Harvard Business School.
• Helen Fisher, senior research fellow at The Kinsey Institute and chief science advisor to Match.com.
• Ed Galea, founding director of the Fire Safety Engineering Group at the University of Greenwich.
• Gary Klein, cognitive psychologist and pioneer in the field of naturalistic decision making.
• David Riedman, founder of the K-12 School Shooting Database.
• Aaron Stark, assistant manager at Kum & Go and keynote speaker.
• John Van Reenen, professor at the London School of Economics.