gaul

Today we dig into the life of Julius Caesar and the final days of the Roman Republic. How was Caesar and what was Rome when he lived there? How did he transform himself from a random minor noble in a Republic full of fandom nobles, into one of the most powerful man in Rome and one of the most known historical figures of all time? Today's tale if full of alliances, betrayals, a very confusing Roman political system, and more as I try my best not to ruin the tale of the man who set Rome on the path to becoming an empire.  Hail Nimrod! 

Help Ean find Uncle Buck!  
https://www.facebook.com/groups/703874246429031/permalink/2624879937661776/?mibextid=Nif5oz

Wet Hot Bad Magic Summer Camps go on sale for everyone Friday, January 20th, at Noon PT. 

Bad Magic Productions Monthly Patreon Donation: We're giving $14,533 to The Museum of Tolerance - the only museum of its kind in the world, and an additional $1,614  to the scholarship fund this month. Thank you, Space Lizards! The MOT is dedicated to challenging visitors to understand the Holocaust in both historic and contemporary contexts and confront all forms of prejudice and discrimination in our world today. For more information, you can visit www.museumoftolerance.com.

Get tour tickets at dancummins.tv 

Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hzDuCBaOWoo

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Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)

For all merch related questions/problems: store@badmagicproductions.com (copy and paste)

Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast

Wanna become a Space Lizard?  Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast

Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.

Heartbreak! Crucifixion! Julius Caesar! And the woman who started it all! MEANWHILE Justine & Hayley research Caesar and a lil bit about ancient Gaul!
 
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Right! We're in it now folks! The penultimate episode for The Shadow Rising.

Perrin has a showdown with Slayer in the Wolf Dream, Loial and Gaul return from their mission to seal the Waygate, and Perrin and Faile tie the knot. All in one chapter.

Then we have our intrepid Black Ajah hunters in Tanchico pull off a heist from the Panarch's palace, managing to find their quarry, face down one of the Forsaken, take out a Black Ajah sister, rescue the Panarch and avoid a balefire blowout. Also all in one chapter.

It's all happening!

So after you've listened to the episode get in touch and send us your thoughts via:

• Twitter - @BloodAndAshPod
• YouTube - Blood and Ashes
• Facebook - BloodAndAshesPodcast
• Web - www.bloodandashespodcast.com

Enjoy!

Mo, Willie and Jody

 He may be called simple, however, his reign is anything but. Sit tight as we take you on a roller coaster, from a weak little boy at the mercy of his nobles to... a weak old man at the mercy of his nobles. But it's all about the journey, not the destination, and our fourth (or third?) Charles's reign is one hell of a ride - from the murder of an archbishop to Vikings attending French classes. That's right, the NORMANS are here, and people are MAD about it!

Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more!

Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the show!

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Attila the Hun! Does his name conjure up images of savagery in your mind? Of a bloodthirsty warrior-king who ruthlessly tortured and killed his enemies as he sacked city after city?  An especially barbaric man who stood out for violence in a time known for so much violence? OR - was he a man of his times? Was he no more or less violent than the Romans, whose historians wrote his story? And when they wrote his story, how much was truth and how much was hyperbole and slander? Today we look into 5th century CE Europe, when the Western Roman Empire is falling, when Attila and his Huns are sacking city after city. We try to separate fact from fiction, and get to know the real Attila, not the evil cartoon presented in clickbait articles and videos. 

The Bad Magic Charity of the month is SEO: Sponsors for Educational Opportunity. SEO's mission is to create a more equitable society by closing the opportunity gap for young people from historically excluded communities. To find out more, go to seo-use.org

Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/95AGdmpbw88

Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/  

Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v

Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)

For all merch related questions/problems: store@badmagicproductions.com (copy and paste)

Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast

Wanna become a Space Lizard?  Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast

Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.

It's Foreign February and we're starting with the Fantastic French Film The 12 Tasks of Asterix.

It's time to see if the long-awaited son of Robert the Strong turns out to be an O-do or an O-don't! And if that dad joke wasn't enough to entice you, then Eliza's excitement for this king certainly will, as she makes plans to name a goldfish after him. 

But of course no description of this episode would be complete without a tease of the SIEGE OF PARIS, the great Viking assault that you may have seen dramatised in the show Vikings or the game Assassins' Creed. But here you will get the REAL story, as told by a "crooked cleric" who witnessed the event firsthand. 

After our first Robertian king proves himself a hero against the Vikings and makes his move to snatch the crown from the Carolingians, will he prove to be the great king that all his promise showed, or will he face his downfall from his squabbling nobles?

If you are enjoying us, please make sure to leave us a review wherever you are able (and we might even read your review out on the show!), and if you are REALLY enjoying us, you can now support the pod on our Ko-fi! 

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

And we're back!

In this week's episode we get a great mix of plotlines.

Perrin settles into the leadership role in Emond's Field and finally comes face to face with Dain Bornhald and his Whitecloaks.

Nynaeve and Elayne bumble their way through the dangerous streets of Tanchico but get their bacon saved by everyone's least hated Seanchan officer, before coming face to face with someone truly terrifying.

Rand and Mat shoot the breeze with the shifty peddlers they met in the waste and finally arrive at Cold Rocks Hold.

But in the most monumental chapter of this stretch the poop hits the proverbial fan at the White Tower as Elaida makes her move, which sends Min, Siuane, Leanne, Gawyn and Logain down their individual paths to... what? Time will tell! (But we know, right?)

Join us online and let's discuss!

• Twitter - @BloodAndAshPod
• YouTube - Blood and Ashes
• Facebook - BloodAndAshesPodcast
• Web - www.bloodandashespodcast.com

Enjoy, friends!

Mo, Willie and Jody

After decades in the background of our Carolingian series, it is time for the large-and-in-charge Emperor Charles to come to the fore and lead West Francia to ... well, greatness is a strong word. Plagued by poor health and a lack of heirs, will Charles the Fat be able to steady the sinking ship, or will he allow the Carolingian empire to shatter once and for all?

Things to look forward to in this episode include a baby getting possessed by a demon, an empress undergoing a literal Trial by Fire, bishops cracking Viking skulls with their hefty Bibles, and a medical procedure called "trepanning" which you really shouldn't google. It's getting very medieval up in here.

If you are enjoying the podcast and want to help us continue, you can now "buy us a coffee" on our Ko-Fi page! We would really appreciate your support, if you just want to throw us a one-off donation. 

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

By popular demand, everyone's (least) favourite clown has arrived to crash the Carolingian party! As the first non-Carolingian ruler within Charlemagne's empire and an extremely controversial figure in his time, we thought it only fitting that we cover him in a special episode. 

In this episode, we discuss Boso's rise to power on the coattails of his sister Richilde, who successfully seduced the ageing king Charles the Bald. We then go through how he unsuccessfully governed Italy, forcibly married Princess Ermengarde, and rescued the Pope from Moorish pirates. A man of contradictions is our Boso...

Also, as in Robert the Strong's episode, we get to zoom in on a particular part of what will become France: the rugged southeastern regions of Provence and Upper Burgundy.

If you are enjoying the podcast so far and want it to keep going and continue to improve, we now have a way for you to show your support: Go to ko-fi.com/battleroyale and "buy us a coffee"! We would appreciate it SO much.

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Listen to our friend Roberto's podcast, History of Saqartvelo Georgia!

Hot off the heels of his brother and co-ruler Louis III, will Carloman II be able to save the West Franks from the Viking menace? No? It just gets worse? Oh, dear.

Prepare yourself for the most horrifying horrors of the Viking age, forcing even our scribe Archbishop Hincmar to flee his church as the Annals of St Bertin come to their climactic end.

Stay tuned also for our quiz at the end of the episode! Let us know if you managed to beat Eliza, or at least remember Pepin the Short...

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

The Carolingian family tree is starting to shrivel up, but Louis III is a spot of light in the darkness, known for his famous battles against the Vikings. Louis wins the battle, but can he win the war? How will he go with sharing power with his brother Carloman II? And when will Boso go away and stop annoying everyone?

But perhaps the most interesting question about Louis III is... He died HOW?

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

It's time for Louis 2: Electric Booga- Oh, wait, his reign's already over? 

Thankfully, Louis the Stammerer is no Merovingian, so we have bountiful evidence of what he was doing throughout his short and rather chaotic life. From facing down Robert the Strong at the mere age of 12 to having to make small talk with Pope John VIII at the Council of Troyes, Louis's life is full of awkward moments that would be bad enough without a speech impediment.

Flock to social media and let us know what you thought of our second Louis, and tune in next week for his son Louis III. How will he fare against the renewed onslaught of the Vikings, and the boundless ambition of our villainous clown Boso? The answer may surprise you.

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

The most wonderful time of the year was made even more wonderful by our first ever guests, Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts podcast, who rate all of the popes from Peter to Francis. Complemented as ever by the splendid humour of Fry and Eliza, Bry and Ben recount the tales of the five patron saints of France who have been woven into our story so far: Saint Petronilla, Saint Denis, Saint Martin, Saint Remy and Saint Radegund. 

This is definitely not your average Christmas episode! We've got a guy carrying his own severed head, an emperor's butt being set on fire and a dove descending from the sky with a Molotov cocktail, just to name a few incidents. We also find out that not only could women read in the Dark Ages (shocker!), but one of them could even speak to frogs! How very French of her.

Go read about the INSANE story St Ulphia wrote!

And of course, listen to Pontifacts!

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

This week we're zooming in on northwestern France to talk about an initially minor nobleman named Robert. From humble(ish) origins, he will found a dynasty that will come to rival the Carolingians in the west. 

But what of the man himself? This week, we're talking sneaky skulduggery, bloody battles and vicious Vikings! Robert will die defending Francia from the heathens ... but the story of how he got there is a little more complicated.

As he is not a king, Robert the Strong will not be eligible for the guillotine. Instead we decide from which seats he will get to watch the final tournament: the VIP Box, or the Carloman Memorial Nosebleed Section?

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Another jam-packed reign, with possibly the most tricky and controversial ranking yet. A lot of deliberation was cut from the ranking segments! Will Charles the Bald make his father Louis the Pious proud, by reviving the glory of his namesake Charlemagne? Or will he be chopped up ... like a turnip?

Once you have listened, what will you think of Charles the Bald? Was he a peak or a trough of the Carolingian period? Did he deserve the judgement we gave him? We are particularly keen to hear your thoughts on this one, so flock to our socials to let us know. 

Also BIG NEWS! We are doing a collaboration with the PONTIFACTS podcast over Christmas and talking about the patron saints of France. Which would you love to hear us cover? 

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Charlemagne is a hard act to follow, but Louis the Pious shows promise. Will he pull through and escape the guillotine? This lengthy episode is jam-packed with so many twists and turns of fates and loyalties, leaving us wondering what exactly to make of this unholiest of holy kings...

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Now that we have gone through Charlemagne's life and conquests, it's now time to take a look at how he ruled, the innovations he brought to his empire and the massive legacy he left. What will be our verdict on the greatest "great" of medieval history? Is it enough to spare him from the guillotine?

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

For more details on the scores, how they are calculated and how our kings are ranking, visit our website.

Need more iron in your audio diet? Look no further than this week's episode, where Eliza and Ben FINALLY explore the life and conquests of Charlemagne, from birth to death. After a cold open from the Monk of St Gall and a brief recap of what we've discussed of his life so far, we explore his many military conquests, his plans for succession and how he acquired a couple of very special new crowns. 

Oh, but there's more! Stay tuned for next week's episode, when we give Charlemagne his scores and go much more in-depth into the juicy details of how he reigned and the legacy that will loom over all our future kings!

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Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fasion. Thank you to them for making this track free to use and listen! Go check out more of their stuff here.

⚜️

CATEGORIES

Ben and Eliza each give a score out of 10 for the first 4 categories. The 5th is determined by maths! The result is a total score out of 100.

1. Enchanté: The shallow, first-impressions round: How fabulous and iconic an image have they passed down to us?
2. En Garde: (A.K.A. “Selfish Wins”) How well did they gain and increase their personal power, either through scheming, statesmanship or good old fashion battles?
3. Voulez-Vous: (A.K.A. “Selfless Wins”) How much would we want to live under their regime? How well did they better the world around them through law reforms and cultural projects?
4. Ouh-Là-Là: How pearl-clutchingly scandalous were the events of their life, both in their time and down through the ages? How mad, bad and dangerous were they to know?
5. La Vie en Throne: How many years did they reign, and how many of their children survived them?

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