Podcast summary and Notes on "grieving daughter"

059: The Impact of Becoming an Accidental Caretaker with Kristen Ryan

In this episode, I sit down with Kristen Ryan, who shares about two deep losses in her life: her friend Larry, and her friend Vanessa.

She talks about what it was like becoming Vanessa’s caretaker accidentally, and the mental toll it took on her. She goes into the trauma and self harm she experienced unexpectedly.

Kristen is a yoga instructor, podcast editor, photographer and health and wellness coach.

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

Listen in as we talk about:

[1:10] Voicing health concerns for her friend Larry and having no one listen to her
[5:00] How her friend Vanessa was disregarded when it came to medical care
[7:20] The mental toll grief and being a caregiver took on Kristen
[14:45] Turning to self-harm to get people to listen and pay attention
[23:10] The benefits of being under psychiatric care
[26:55] Tools Kristen used on her grief journey
[30:15] Courage in vulnerability
[34:50] How Kristen practices self love

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Grief Hotline:

https://www.griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

Connect with Kristen here:

Connect with Susan

Rock Your Shine: After you’ve been cracked wide open

enOctober 05, 2022

044: Coping with the Sudden Death of My Dad with Alexa Norton

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

In this episode, Alexa Norton joins me to share about her father’s sudden death while skiing, and how she and her family picked up the pieces after he was gone.

Alexa Norton was born and raised in Salt Lake City, Utah, and currently lives in San Diego. She has three older sisters and has been married for five years. She has taken her grief, surrounding the death of her father and transformed it into light and healing for all those she crosses paths with.

Listen in as we talk about:

[1:40] Alexa’s dad’s upbringing, how he was adopted, and how she learned about his past after his death
[3:00] Her dad’s skiing accident and sudden death
[10:00] How difficult it was to watch her mom and family grieve
[16:45] How they navigated grief individually and as a family
[23:20] How her dad’s death changed her perspective on life
[27:00] How Alexa’s relationships changed after the loss of her dad
[40:20] The signs Alexa has received from her dad
[45:00] What self love looks like now

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief by Susan E. Casey

Grief Hotline:

https://www.griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

Connect with Alexa here:

Connect with Susan

Rock Your Shine: After you’ve been cracked wide open

enJune 22, 2022

049: I Just (Fulfilled My Mom’s Dying Wish)! Now What? with Emily Johnson

It’s an incredible gift to be able to fulfill someone’s dying wish. It’s even more special when that person is your mom.

In this episode, my guest Emily Johnson shares her powerful story for fulfilling her mother’s dying wish: to finish and publish her manuscript.

Emily’s mom, Marilyn, was diagnosed with cancer, and after a long and courageous battle, crossed over to the other side in 2012. In her passing, she left Emily a beautiful gift: a manuscript she never had the chance to finish.

Emily was born in Aspen, Colorado where she enjoyed skiing, dancing ballet and playing golf. At the age of 13, she and her family moved to Pinehurst, North Carolina. She attended UNC-Chapel Hill and graduated with a degree in Journalism and Mass Communication with a concentration in Public Relations. She began her career in the marketing department at the PGA TOUR, before moving on to traditional agency work and non-profit grant writing. Finishing her mother’s work has been one of the greatest honors of her life.

Listen in as we talk about:

Her mom’s illness and her passing at Emily’s young age
Emily’s first thoughts when she found the manuscript
The impact that finishing the manuscript had on her healing
The gift in her writing journey and the connection it has brought to her in the afterlife
How Emily’s publishing process was different from how you would typically publish a book
The process of writing her next manuscript

Connect with Emily

I’d love to connect with you:

Come follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jess.loves.life/
Signup for my new newsletter at: https://jessicastephens.ca/
Or read more about all the things I love on my Blog: https://jessicastephens.ca/blogs/jess-loves-life

I Just (Blank)! Now What?

enJune 15, 2022

042: Preparing for the Death of a Parent with Tasha Walsh

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

In this episode, my dear friend and colleague Tasha Walsh joins me to talk about her mother’s passing and how she used her background in hospice care to make the end of her life special and beautiful.

Tasha Walsh has been a leader in the healthcare industry for over 25 years. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and a Professional Certified Coach, she has helped organizations develop a positive workplace culture while implementing best practices in their service line.

She has particular passion and expertise in Integrated Care: the blending of behavioral and physical health. Since early 2016, she has served as the Executive Director at Rockbridge Area Hospice in Lexington, VA. She is currently on the Board of the Virginia Association for Hospices and Palliative Care and is a faculty of the Healthcare Coaching Institute.

Listen in as we talk about:

[1:45] What is Hospice Care
[4:10] Debunking hospice myths
[5:50] Tasha’s story and who her mom was
[10:40] The emotions and complexity in dealing with caring for her mother from a different country
[14:00] Learning about her mom’s diagnosis of end stage renal failure and leukemia
[19:20] The process of saying goodbye to her mom
[23:00] Providing hospice care for her mom
[30:30] How Tasha reintegrated back into her life after the spiritual experience of her mother’s death

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief by Susan E. Casey

Grief Hotline:

https://www.griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

Connect with Tasha here:

Connect with Susan

Rock Your Shine: After you’ve been cracked wide open

enJune 08, 2022

041: Losing Our Daughter Sara at the London Bridge Terrorist Attack with Julie and Mark Wallace

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Mark Wallace, who lost their daughter Sara at just 21 years old when she was stabbed at the London Bridge Terror Attack in June of 2017.

Julie and Mark are the founders of SARZ Sanctuary, a Sanctuary and Foundation created in Sara’s honor.

What happened to Sara is tragic, but how her memory lives on through her parents is transformational. Julie and Mark take us on the journey of healing through this deep loss.

Listen in as we talk about:

[4:00] Who Sara was
[7:00] How Sara ended up at the London Bridge Terrorist Attack
[12:50] Getting the call that Sara had passed away
[17:00] What happened after they found out the news
[22:40] The journey navigating their grief individually and as a family
[34:00] How Julie and Mark feel towards the terrorist that took their daughter’s life
[48:30] What self love looks like for Julie and Mark now

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Rock On: Mining for Joy in the Deep River of Sibling Grief by Susan E. Casey
Deborah Hanlon episode
The Australian Story – Meet You In Paris: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJiGbqSLAc8
Good Morning Britain: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEM9nMs-t4E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQo1Bkvo3ro&t=140s

Grief Hotline:

https://www.griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

Connect with Julie and Mark here:

Connect with Susan

Rock Your Shine: After you’ve been cracked wide open

enJune 01, 2022

040: How to Cope with Ambiguous Loss with Dr. Pauline Boss

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

Have you heard of the term ‘Ambiguous Loss’?

Dr. Pauline Boss coined this term in the 1970s. Today, the term is used in professional discourse as well as in the general public and arts communities.

In her new book, she asks, “How do we begin to cope with loss that cannot be resolved?” Which is what we’re speaking about in this conversation.

Pauline Boss, PhD, is emeritus professor at University of Minnesota. She is known worldwide for developing the theory of ambiguous loss and as a pioneer in the interdisciplinary study of family stress management. Dr. Boss is the author of Loss, Trauma, and Resilience: Therapeutic Work with Ambiguous Loss in addition to The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change.

Listen in as we talk about:

[2:00] The definition of Ambiguous Loss
[7:15] How to live with deep trauma and ambiguous loss
[12:15] How to hold space for people who have experienced ambiguous loss
[16:00] The difference between sadness and depression
[34:50] Tips to manage the stress after loss
[41:40] An excerpt from Dr. Boss’ book
[43:30] How to become more present with our loved ones

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Grief Hotline:

https://www.griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

Connect with Dr. Boss here:

https://www.ambiguousloss.com

Connect with Susan

Rock Your Shine: After you’ve been cracked wide open

enMay 25, 2022

039: The Aftermath of Losing my Narcissistic Father with Brittany Anderson

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

Narcissism is a hard topic, and it’s no different for my guest Brittany Anderson. In this episode, Brittany shares her story of losing her sister to cerebral palsy at a young age and choosing to end the relationship with her father due to his narcissistic tendencies.

As you’ll hear in our conversation, Brittany’s experience was so profound given the estranged relationship she had with her father and the grief she was left to navigate after his passing.

Brittany Anderson began her career as the COO for Sweet Financial Services, a premiere wealth planning firm that specializes in helping people live their retirement dreams. Brittany’s true passion lies in helping people become the best version of themselves, which is why she partnered with Bryan Sweet to create Dare to Dream Enterprises, which helps growth-minded individuals focus on all things positive, while striving to achieve their greatest aspirations in life.

Brittany lives in rural Sherburn, MN with her husband David and daughter's Jersey & Stella. In her free time she enjoys spending quality time with her family, working on the latest repurposing project and spending time outdoors.

Listen in as we talk about:

[3:45] Brittany’s relationship with her dad and choosing to have him not be a part of her life
[5:00] Processing the loss of her father
[9:00] How her father influenced Brittany’s sister to stop talking to her
[13:00] The differences between both griefs
[18:30] What Brittany’s grief work looked like
[31:00] The beauty that has bloomed with experienced tragedy
[35:00] The importance of forgiveness
[40:00] What self love means to Brittany now

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Grief Hotline:

https://www.griefresourcenetwork.com/crisis-center/hotlines/

Connect with Brittany here:

Connect with Susan

Rock Your Shine: After you’ve been cracked wide open

enMay 18, 2022

038: Healing Past Trauma Through the Loss of My Father and Stepfather with Naila Francis

**TRIGGER WARNING** This episode covers sensitive subject matter and is not suitable for all listeners. If this topic could be a trigger for you, listen to this episode with a friend, a sibling, a loved one or a parent so you can talk about any emotions that come up for you. The contents of this episode are not intended to replace therapy and should not be taken as such. If you need immediate help, please call the crisis hotline listed below in our resources.

In this episode, Naila Francis shares her story of navigating the depths of grief after the death of her father and stepfather.

She shares how the losses she experienced completely transformed her life and personal vocation.

Naila Francis is a writer, grief coach, death midwife and ordained interfaith minister. She holds space and offers ritual and ceremony for people at many of life's sacred thresholds, including birth, marriage, death and other transitional passages.

Her work is often informed by her love of poetry, the gifts of healing rooted in nature and community and her commitment to expanding our grief literacy and death awareness. She is a founding member of Salt Trails, a Philadelphia collective making grief public and visible through community rituals.

For many years, Naila worked as a journalist, interviewing artists from all backgrounds, before finding her way to the vocations of companioning others through grief and dying after suffering several personal losses in her own life, including the death of her father.

Listen in as we talk about:

[0:55] Excerpt of Naila’s poem about grief
[7:00] How her stepfather Lou was the angel in their lives that they didn’t know they needed
[11:30] Her father’s diagnosis
[13:00] Navigating her relationship with her dad after her parents’ separation
[17:20] Ways she processed the anger she felt towards her dad after he died
[21:20] The healing journey Naila went on after the passing of her dad and stepfather
[31:00] How her grief changed her life
[41:05] What self love looks like for Naila now