The Secrets to Raising Teen Girls with Colleen O'Grady
Raising teen girls can have its challenges, but if you know these secrets, you'll not only survive but be able to have a healthy relationship with your daughter.
The secrets to raising teen girls are centered around communication.
Staying calm amidst the drama
Timing is everything. If your daughter is stressed, hungry, intoxicated, angry, or emotionally flooded, it is not the right time to have a conversation. Likewise, if you are in any of these states, it is not a good idea to have a conversation with your teen daughter. Give space instead of addressing things immediately.
The contain the situation and talk later rule for raising teen girls
Daughters are hard-wired for drama and are hard-wired to make mistakes. It is not personal when she acts out. It is a normal part of development. Therefore, it is important not to feel like a failure. Giving yourself time to calm yourself down is helpful for having a healthy relationship.
Like with everything in life, it is important not to compare your daughter with other girls. Let them be who they are and discover themselves. Likewise, choose the battles versus focusing on the things that don’t really matter.
Perfectionism and raising teen girls
As moms, we feel the need to be the perfect mom, and that our daughters need to be the perfect daughter. If we are feeling this way, we are going to make our daughters feel that we don’t care about them, we only care about perfection.
Drama kills the relationship. Therefore, it is important to dial down the drama to build a connection.
Don’t let the drama control the connection with your daughter. Be intentional about connection by dialing down the drama.
If there is drama all the time, you will miss out on great moments with your daughter.
Instead of being a monitor when raising teen girls, build in focused time to be present
Get up, give me your phone, and go to bed, constantly being in this mode is just managing your teen.
Take the monitor hat off and commit to being with your daughter for 20 minutes a day. Be the mom who she sees laugh. Be present for her at least 20 minutes a day. When she sees that you aren’t always pouncing on her, she will let you in more and more of her life.
Robyn emphasized that it is important for your daughter to know that she can come to you with anything and have a conversation about anything, versus them feeling afraid of being judged by us. This demonstrates acceptance of imperfection.
Don’t miss the moments when raising teens
When your teen wants to talk or share something, don’t let the moments go by without engaging with her. When you stop and listen, you will create amazing memories.
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