inner voices

Marking a significant milestone, The Shadow Dominatrix podcast celebrates its 1-Year Anniversary with a powerful episode: 'Harnessing the Power of Your Negative Voice(s).' In this 52nd episode, Lois StGermaine dives into the often-overlooked potential of our inner critics. Learn how to transform negative self-talk into a catalyst for growth and empowerment.

Over the past year, we've journeyed together through uncharted territories of the mind, and this episode encapsulates that adventure. It's not just a reflection on our past year's journey, but a masterclass in turning the voices of doubt and criticism into sources of strength and insight.

Whether you've been with us from the start or are just tuning in, this episode offers a profound exploration into the art of converting what we often perceive as internal adversaries into allies. It's about acknowledging, understanding, and then skillfully redirecting the energy of those negative voices to propel you forward in your personal and professional endeavors.

Join us in celebrating this milestone and embark on a journey to redefine the role of your inner voices. Embrace the power within and transform your internal dialogue into a tool for unstoppable success. Listen now and start turning your inner critics into your most empowering coaches.

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HAVE YOU EVER HAD TROUBLE CONCENTRATING?  

Perhaps your focus isn't as good as you'd like it to be. Or do you have one of those inner voices that constantly berates you and holds you back? 

The good news is you're not alone. Everyone has these issues. It's how they deal with them that determines their level of success. 

My guest on this episode of ‘A Cuppa with The Con Versationalist’  is Darren Fleming. Darren is a speaker, author and trainer to some of the largest companies in Australia and around the world including CISCO, Caterpillar and Komatsu. 

His latest book Mindset Mastery was published earlier this year and is currently being translated into Japanese. In it he shows you how to deactivate distracting thoughts, quieten that inner voice so you can have the concentration and focus you need to get through the day. 

Darren has studied psychology at UniSA and philosophy at Oxford. And each year he puts himself through a 10-day silent meditation retreat which he says teaches him more than any university course ever could. 

In this jam-packed episode, Darren shared his insights on: 

·         The conflicting information is popular self-help books and the one common aspect of them all.

·         We spend 20 minutes convincing ourselves we want chocolate then when we finally give in, we spend the next 20 minutes berating ourselves.   Sound familiar?

·         Some people are open to sharing success such as new cars holidays on social media, yet some don’t.  Darren shared his thought process around eventually sharing his childhood dream which he recently achieved.

·         Imposter syndrome, fear of failure and procrastination. 

To learn more about Darren and his work, head to his website at https://www.darrenfleming.com.au/mindset-mastery.

"Is Gray Area Drinking Becoming a Problem in Your Life?"

In this podcast episode, Josh and guest Kari discuss gray areas in life, focusing on drinking. Kari shares her personal journey of quitting alcohol and becoming a coach. They discuss the concept of gray area drinking and the importance of paying attention to one's relationship with alcohol. Kari explains the stages of change and her experience with Alcoholics Anonymous. 

They also talk about the significance of tattoos and the challenges of breaking habitual behaviors. Kari shares her decision to pursue coaching full-time and the key elements necessary for making lasting changes in life. They encourage listeners to trust their intuition and make conscious decisions for positive change.

Next Steps

• Share your thoughts with a review - https://www.uncensoredadviceformen.com/reviews/
• Let's connect on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshuabrucewilson/
• Subscribe and Watch on YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCI11BikVb5CbEwIwjmR89Iw

👉 Talking points:

 1️⃣ Sleep and how important it is. How could anyone practice good sleep? 

2️⃣ Mindfulness, breathing exercise. How to overcome the anxiety of war, Monday morning or a tough day? 

3️⃣ You lived a period in a Buddhist meditation center. Why did you do that, and what was the thing you learned there that changed your life forever? 

4️⃣ Seven points of focus 

5️⃣ What keeps you going, Niki, the person, not the coach. 

6️⃣ Let's talk about planning and goals; what is the most common mistake people make while planning? 

7️⃣ From time to time, we feel the urge to do some physical activities to bring ourselves to a balance point. Why and how? 

Find Niki on LinkedIn: 

It is good to know what's holding you back and why we're stuck. We all have those voices that keep us stuck. We all have those stories. And the best part about it is that it means we all have the power to change them. However, when you want to change something, you go out, and you set goals. I want to get there. I want to go there. Beyond business and money, we could talk about being the best father you can be. It means coming from that place when I'm tired of the long day of work, and I get to ask myself, do I want to get into that? Or do I want to change my story and have the kind of interactions with my kids that the best father I can be would have right now?

Anytime you find yourself knowing you want to do something and then looking back at it at the end of the day, you haven't done it. Look for what's the story. And underneath that story, what's the fear? Because essentially, we all have this survival brain and are constantly looking for what's wrong. And whenever you try something new, or you approach a new target or set a goal right, that's potentially threatening because it's new and unfamiliar. And that will bring in fear.

That is pretty much the story of Sebastian and Ben and a lot of others. It is the story behind I need to, or I chose to. It is the experience of knowing what is going on and getting deep into what causes our resistance when determining the life we want. It is also the dilemma of what can we control, the outcome, or what we do? 

When Ben shared his objective of owning a business, the process unveiled the fear that getting there would require a lot of effort with that a lot of time, the impact of that is it will take time away from his family, a core value of his. Fear and guilt are caused by stepping away from his responsibility as a husband and a father. A story that if he does what he sets out to do, it runs directly right into conflict with one of the other core values that he holds, and the fear is that. Well, if he is successful, he'll do that at the expense of his family.

Working through the process, he finds himself coming from this strong motivation to do what he does for his family and his son's legacy for the future. Ironically, it's that same drive that turns into fear that blocks him from achieving that objective.

But, what if instead of thinking about what could go wrong—starting to think what could go right. That is the next step that Seb took Ben through, which means looking at another side of the coin we neglect. Ben's story was all about the sense of fulfillment by really just starting towards that, not even really getting there at all.

Ben also learned how to deal with Status-Quo's bias, a blind spot that our survival brain has. It looks at the new thing and what could go wrong; that's the only thing the mind cares about. It means our brain is programmed to ignore what the status quo costs us. What it costs you if you don't take any action because we neglect those costs when we look at the risks of the thing we're trying to implement.

When you're looking for the silver bullet to taking control of your life, it's that, getting to your fears, get your stories out into the open, because then you can do something about it, you can choose to upgrade them, you can choose to really look down and what's really behind it. And you can choose to also focus on the other side of the coin. What could go right? It is not a question that's a survival brain asks, but you can.
 

Goals, 

Around this time of the year, we all think about what we want to do for the following year. But is it a goal that we should invest our energy in identifying?

Let's take a quick inventory of what we have achieved from what we recorded in our notebooks. If yes, do you feel satisfied and happy about your life? 

If you are an achiever, hitting a goal will grant you a tick in the box. However, does that make you truly happy? Or are you doing what you like to do and creating that sense of positivity about your life where you feel self-satisfaction? 

Let's take a step back and think about goals. Is it a place to get to or rather a place to start with? 

Take a moment and reflect on all of that. Then ask a simple question: What is the single thing holding you back from being happy. It is feer, and it is a natural product of our brain designed to protect us from danger until it takes control and holds us back from being what we want to be. 

I bet it sounds familiar. The good news is, you are not alone, and there is a way out. 

As a starter, in episode one. Ben will have an introductory session where Sebastian gives valuable insights on how essential it is to understand our mind, our body chemistry and get to know the process of "Resetting Fear." More importantly, he shares his own story of the life's consequence of letting things slide to a life of "having a tick in the box." "We all have a lot in common with that story and get the sense of urgency to not succumb to what could be devastating to our life and the life of loved ones," Ben quoted. 

Checkout Sebastian Profile: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sebastiankoellner/ 

Book appointment with Sebastian: https://bit.ly/one-conversation-can-change-your-life 

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