james thurber

Host Meg Wolitzer presents two humorous stories about marriages not made in heaven.  In James Thurber’s classic “The Breaking Up of the Winships,” a long-married couple fall out over Donald Duck. The reader is Kristine Nielsen. And in Louise Erdrich’s “The Big Cat,” read by Keir Dullea, two powerful wives, a bemused husband, and a symphony of bone-jarring snores.   The program also features an interview with Erdrich.

SERIES 2 EPISODE 117: BULLETIN - COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:35) BULLETIN: What was unofficial is now OFFICIAL. Judge Tanya Chutkan has confirmed in court that the start of the Trump Election Subversion/January 6th trial - scheduled for Monday March 4, and the trial thought most likely to bring a conviction against Trump before the election - has been "vacated" - postponed indefinitely pending a resolution of Trump's extra-constitutional bullshit stall, the "Presidential Immunity" fantasy.

Given that 46% of Trump supporters in the swing states say they would be very unwilling to vote for him if he has been convicted, this is more than just a scheduling issue.

What happens next - and when could it happen?

(5:00) SPECIAL COMMENT: TRUMP DC ELECTION SUBVERSION TRIAL POSTPONED. Still officially scheduled for a month from Sunday, it has in fact "fallen off" the Washington Federal Court Calendar and no new date has been set. Even as the District of Columbia and the federal government think of ways to protect the Prettyman Courthouse with metal fencing and street closures (just like right after Trump's January 6 coup), The Washington Post speculates the trial will allow for Trump's trial in New York on the Stormy Daniels Payoff Business Fraud to start next month instead. Either way, Trump's stall has worked. The DC District Appeals Court has yet to rule on his "Presidential Immunity" bullshit and fingers are pointed at the member of the three-judge panel who was appointed by George W. Bush.

ALSO: MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE is the worst person ever to serve in the United States House of Representatives. Her inability to pronounce "indictable" correctly is everything that's wrong with this country today, particularly our refusal to help the chronically stupid to heal themselves. More maddening, Greene has previously claimed a) that dyslexia runs in her family AND b) that her political opponents are "retards."

B-Block (30:34) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Steve Garvey assailed by three kids in an L.A. Times profile (the other 197 love him though). Moms For Liberty actually manages to outdo itself in what we used to call Bluenosing. And the pollster who has defined which group of voters can put Trump over the top: African-American Men With Three Arms.

C-Block (40:32) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: His most famous, most imagination-stimulating work: "The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SERIES 2 EPISODE 116: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: TRUMP DC ELECTION SUBVERSION TRIAL POSTPONED. Still officially scheduled for a month from Sunday, it has in fact "fallen off" the Washington Federal Court Calendar and no new date has been set. Even as the District of Columbia and the federal government think of ways to protect the Prettyman Courthouse with metal fencing and street closures (just like right after Trump's January 6 coup), The Washington Post speculates the trial will allow for Trump's trial in New York on the Stormy Daniels Payoff Business Fraud to start next month instead. Either way, Trump's stall has worked. The DC District Appeals Court has yet to rule on his "Presidential Immunity" bullshit and fingers are pointed at the member of the three-judge panel who was appointed by George W. Bush.

ALSO: MARJORIE TAYLOR GREENE is the worst person ever to serve in the United States House of Representatives. Her inability to pronounce "indictable" correctly is everything that's wrong with this country today, particularly our refusal to help the chronically stupid to heal themselves. More maddening, Greene has previously claimed a) that dyslexia runs in her family AND b) that her political opponents are "retards."

B-Block (22:48) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Steve Garvey assailed by three kids in an L.A. Times profile (the other 197 love him though). Moms For Liberty actually manages to outdo itself in what we used to call Bluenosing. And the pollster who has defined which group of voters can put Trump over the top: African-American Men With Three Arms.

C-Block (34:32) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: His most famous, most imagination-stimulating work: "The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Page One, produced and hosted by author Holly Lynn Payne, celebrates the craft that goes into writing the first sentence, first paragraph and first page of your favorite books. The first page is often the most rewritten page of any book because it has to work so hard to do so much—hook the reader. We interview master storytellers on the struggles and stories behind the first page of their books.

About the guest author:

Dean Koontz is a bestselling author and America's master of suspense with 79 New York Times bestsellers. He is also one of twelve writers in the world ever to have fourteen of these books rise to number one on the hardcover bestseller list, and sixteen of his books have risen to the number one position in paperback. His books have also been major bestsellers in Japan and Sweden. And he has been hailed by Rolling Stone magazine as “America’s most popular suspense novelist.” Dean is also a huge dog lover and is originally from Pennsylvania. He currently lives in Southern California with his wife, Gerda, and their golden retriever, Elsa, and the enduring spirit of their goldens, Trixie and Anna. They are long time supporters of Canine Companions for Independence. You can find his website at www.deankoontz.com.

About the host:

Holly Lynn Payne is an award-winning novelist and writing coach, and the former CEO and founder of Booxby, a startup built to help authors succeed. She is an internationally published author of four historical fiction novels. Her debut, The Virgin's Knot, was a Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers book. She recently finished her first YA crossover novel inspired by her nephew with Down syndrome. She lives in Marin County with her daughter and enjoys mountain biking, surfing and hiking with her dog. To learn more about her books and private writing coaching services, please visit hollylynnpayne.com or find her at Instagram and Twitter @hollylynnpayne.

You can listen to Page One on Apple podcasts, Spotify, Pandora, Stitcher and all your favorite podcast players. 

Hear past episodes.

To get updates and writing tips from master storytellers, follow me on
Facebook, Twitter, Goodreads, and Instagram.

Until then, be well and keep reading!

In service with love,
Holly Lynn Payne

Thank you for listening to the Page One Podcast, where master storytellers discuss the stories and struggles behind the critical first page of their books. If you liked this episode, please share it on social, leave a review on your favorite podcast players and tell your friends! 

I hope you enjoy this labor of love as much as I love hosting, producing, and editing it. Please keep in touch by signing up to receive my newsletter at www.hollylynnpayne.com with the latest episodes each month. Delivered to your inbox with a smile. 

For the love of books and writers,

Holly Lynn Payne
@hollylynnpayne
www.hollylynnpayne.com

In 2013's The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Walter is a quiet outsider with an active fantasy life but not much of a real life beyond his job. But through the movie (and in service of his work) he embraces a great adventure and grows in the process. Comedian Myq Kaplan relates to both versions of Walter -- the awkward, quiet creative mind and the self-assured, evolved adventurer. And in today's episode, he tells Jordan why.

Then, Jordan has one quick thing about

www.myqkaplan.com

***

With Jordan Crucchiola and Myq Kaplan

EPISODE 239: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT: Jack Smith is reportedly ready to indict Trump on between 30 and 45 MORE counts. And he is preparing to indict several of Trump’s lawyers from the Fake Electors Scheme including (voluntary interview notwithstanding) Rudy Giuliani. And all that is reported by the same British newspaper that correctly nailed the Miami indictments two days before they were finally handed up. CNN adds that the main Trump campaign official in charge of the Fake Electors will take the immunity deal he was offered and testifying for the Special Prosecutor.

If the source for Britain's "The independent" is correct, Trump could be facing as many as 77 counts in a superseding indictment, although its sources are not clear if those charges would come in a superseding indictment in Florida or might be filed in a different jurisdiction (and we have already discussed the possibility of Trump being indicted in New Jersey for The Trump Confession Tape, plus all the crimes still on the table in D.C.). There is one intriguing new twist to the seemingly trivial question of where to indict. It will, quoting the story, “depend in part on whether they feel the Trump-appointed district judge overseeing the case against him in the Southern District of Florida, Aileen Cannon, is giving undue deference” to Trump. As to the hapless Giuliani, Feinberg’s source says that despite the ex-Mayor’s proffer offer to prosecutors, Rudy will quote “most definitely” face at least some charges from Jack Smith’s office, dating to his actions in the interval between the election and January 6th.

Also: Trump showed that secret map to the co-chair of a lobbying firm taking millions from at least three Chinese tech firms closely linked to the Chinese government. The “I should not be showing the map” map? The “so don’t get too close”map? Wednesday night ABC News identified the person Trump showed the classified map to as Susie Wiles, a Trump adviser and campaign official and his potential 2024 campaign chair. Last night the NEW YORK POST, of all news outlets, identified Susie Wiles as the co-chairman of Mercury Public Affairs, lobbying mouthpieces for at least three really bad, really dangerous Chinese firms including Alibaba – the online retailer and web services company that is actually partially owned BY the Chinese GOVERNMENT and which the Post says Susie Wiles’ company, Mercury, is STILL receiving payments from.

And the nightmare unfolds at the Supreme Court: Affirmative Action is struck down and although work-arounds are offered and President Biden lambasted the Fascist Theocratic Court's interference with the settled law of the nation and agreed that the court is not a "normal" one, when offered the cure, he shied away: "If we start the process of trying to expand the court, we’re going to politicize it, maybe forever, in a way that is not healthy, that you can’t get back.”

President Biden? It's irredeemably politicized NOW. It's FOREVER. It is ALREADY not healthy. And we can't get it back.

(17:54) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The 5'7" Prime Minister of the UK violates the first rule of comparative height: NEVER give away 14 inches in a photo. Pirro, Ingraham, others at Fox mock Biden's use of CPAP machine despite own physical and emotional problems; New York Mayor Eric Adams must resign: he rages against a renters' advocate, compares her to a slaveowner, insults her repeatedly. She's an 84-year old woman who escaped the holocaust yet within seconds of her remarks he played the race card against her.

B-Block (28:06) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Not only did Joe Biden spend most of his senatorial career fighting a reputation as a hothead, but when he decided to fight it he turned to advice about how to productively focus his anger to...me?

C-Block (39:10) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: I succumb to Bothsidesism! If I have a long Biden story, I must offer a long Trump story. And Thurber wrote one, and somehow managed to do it 15 years before Trump was born. When success is mistaken for character and the worst person in the world is mistaken for "The Greatest Man In The World."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 211: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT: The Washington Post's choice of its headline was the Mar-a-Lago workers moving boxes full of classified documents the day before the Justice Department stopped by to pick up what they’d subpoenaed, but that’s not THE headline in the story. THE headline in the story is really startling and could be the biggest in this week-long festival of leaks, this waterfall of sources-saying because this leak the Post DIDN’T think was the headline suggests Jack Smith has witnesses who saw Donald Trump commit not just obstruction of justice but espionage.

“Prosecutors…have gathered evidence indicating that Trump at times kept classified documents in his office in a place where they were visible and sometimes showed them to others… (they) have been told by more than one witness that Trump at times kept classified documents out in the open in his Florida office, where others could see them… and sometimes showed them to people, including aides and visitors,” unquote. So that’s literally espionage. Ten years or a fine or both. Per count. 18 USS Code 793 “Gathering, transmitting or losing defense information”paragraph “E.” Keeping classified documents is one thing. But having “unauthorized possession” of any document relating to the national defense and then being that guy who “willfully communicates, delivers, transmits, or causes to be communicated… to any person not entitled to receive it” is the point at which the option to not prosecute for espionage has typically ended.

Also: the Ron DeSantis Twitter disaster has been explained by tech experts. It's not tech, it's - what else - the cheapness of Elon Musk. Plus the judge not only throws the book at Oathkeepers culprit Stewart Rhodes but tells him to his face that he's not a "political prisoner" and most importantly of all, warns the courtroom and the nation that we could have another January 6th. And the TPM website decided to work backwards in its files on Rhodes and find where he made his national TV debut. You may not be that surprised by the answer.

Lastly just for laughs: Trump gets the year wrong and Junior tries to insult DeSantis but winds up saying "Trump" instead. 

B-Block (15:28) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: I lament what my invention, MSNBC, has become. Once we were liberal skeptics, calling out lies and pressing Democrats to earn our support and do what's right. Now it is a place where if NBC decided tomorrow to go right wing, all most of the hosts would need to do would be change names or dye hair and they'd get away with it. Because it's now about them. Happily, seven years ago this week Lawrence O'Donnell confessed he and the current crowd had "broken" my invention.

C-Block (35:05) Sam, the two-year old female in NYC (36:05) FRIDAYS WITH JAMES THURBER: My father's favorite Thurber story, the amazing saga of Thurber's 4th Grade Class and the other students who had been in it for decades: "I Went To Sullivant."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 200: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: The journalistic malfeasance was so thorough, the internal staff rage so vituperative, and the on-air ratings so underwhelming, that if Anderson Cooper or Wolf Blitzer or Jake Tapper or all of them went into the office of Chris Licht’s boss this afternoon and said that the Trump Town Hall was the final straw and it had damaged theirs and the network’s credibility and they were walking out, Licht would be gone from CNN by Monday.

Instead, Cooper blamed his own audience! He began his program last night regretting… that CNN viewers were “staying in their silos” and directing his infamous condescension to his own audience, or what’s left of it after the Trump debacle. “Now, maybe you haven’t been paying attention to him since he left office… thinking it can’t happen again…” Cooper’s premise – that to understand Trump and the threat he poses, we have to approve of CNN’s capitulation to and collaboration with him, is absurd, indefensible, and sanctimonious. Instead of using his platform to bravely recognize that the threat of Trump is paralleled within CNN by the threat of Chris Licht and the conservatives he’s prostituting the network for, instead of showing just SOME guts, Anderson Cooper decided to try to guilt whoever was left to watch CNN last night. Shame on him.

The CNN town hall drew 3,308,000 TOTAL viewers, and 781,000 demo viewers. But just one hour after the Hindentrump crashed and burned live on CNN, the ratings bump was GONE. In the 10 O’Clock hour CNN was back to third place, half a million total viewers BEHIND Fox, 300,000 behind MSNBC. Three quarters of the total audience had vanished before midnight. By the ELEVEN O’Clock hour that “demo” audience of 781,000 had shrunk back to 186,000. They got nothing out of it. Nobody stayed. Nobody saw it and said “I like this new CNN. I’m going to try out their other shows. Like 'No You're Wrong Mr. President With Kaitlan Collins.'"

B-Block (20:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Biden really does seem poised to spring the 14th Amendment on Republican Debt Ceiling Hostage-Takers; Why is every news report calling the white man who choked another man to death on the NYC subway a "Navy veteran" rather than what they would call a person of color, something like "Crazed Subway Strangler"? (23:20) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: There is ONE political boss still backing George Santos. There is one presidential campaign running on a promise to disenfranchise some of the people who would elect him. There is one CNN on-air person praising Kaitlan Collins' persistent impotence.

C-Block (28:30) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: The brindle mix on the kill list in New York is named, in sad irony, "Free." (30:35) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: It's his story that best fits the saga of Trump and degeneracy mistaken for power: "The Greatest Man In The World."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 161: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:41) If I told you Donald Trump was an "animal" who "should be removed immediately;" If I told you Trump was "doing...the work of the devil;" If I told you Trump was destroying our country "as they tell US to be peaceful;" If I showed you two pictures, one of Trump and - next to it - one of me holding a baseball bat, about to swing it, posed exactly as was Robert DeNiro portraying Al Capone in "The Untouchables" just before he beat another character to death WITH a baseball bat; If I showed you 30 other social media posts I had made in just 24 hours, each of them filled with threatening and violent and hateful language about Trump, what would you think I was TELLING you? What would you THINK I was hoping you would DO?

Donald Trump is a stochastic terrorist.

He used stochastic terrorism to get somebody to attack the FBI after the Mar-a-Lago search and within days a man breached a local FBI headquarters to try to kill FBI agents. He used stochastic terrorism to get others to commit the insurrection of January 6. He used stochastic terrorism to inspire somebody to attack Democrats in 2018 and Cesar Sayoc sent out 12 liberals and he had a second list in his computer and I know because I was on it. 

Trump is not just committing stochastic terrorism, he knows he is doing it, because it has worked for him, so well, and so often.

Arrest him, today. And he has openly threatened four prosecutors and countless journalists and witnesses. He must not only be arrested - he must NOT be granted bail.

B-Block (17:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: The judge may order Rupert Murdoch to testify in the Fox/Dominion defamation case; a NEW defamation case may be filed against Tucker Carlson; Ron DeSantis comes out in favor of immediately eliminating The New York Post and all of conservative media (20:01) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: You're going to CHARGE for Apple TV Baseball? After what it sounded like LAST year? A dishonest media attack on Alvin Bragg. And the Congressman who wants to stop The Biden Student Debt Relief program insisting "debt can not be forgiven" - after he filed for bankruptcy FIVE TIMES.

C-Block (25:30) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Lace, on death row in New York (26:30) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: Please meet Muggs - "The Dog That Bit People."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 156: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:41) SPECIAL COMMENT: It doesn't MATTER whether Marjorie Taylor Greene really is so stupid that when she insisted yesterday she's never seen any Putin plan to invade Europe, she doesn't know Ukraine is in Europe. All that matters is whether she makes sure that something like 51% of the COUNTRY is so stupid that IT doesn't know Ukraine is in Europe. It's MAKE AMERICA STUPID AGAIN.

And its weapon is a rapidly strengthening, rapidly escalating feedback loop centering around Fox "News" and we goddamned better do something about it soon. Because not only is it being used against Ukraine and for Russia, but it's now reached the equivalent to tertiary syphilis: McCarthy gives Carlson meaningless January 6 video which Carlson lies and says is 44,000 hours of the Zapruder film so that yesterday Rep. Barry The January 5th Tour Guide Loudermilk can lie and say "this means we need a new January 6 Committee to investigate the OLD January 6 Committee!" 

The long-term solution would be a truth based liberal television network with a billion dollars behind it, but who's going to do THAT? The short-term solution is Senate hearings into Fox "News" and Murdoch and whether its interest in destroying the current form of government is funded in any way by a foreign power. It doesn't have to BE funded by a foreign power. Just at the moment, we just need something we can put on against the Barry Loudermilk Hearings To Clear Barry Loudermilk!

 (10:20) IN SPORTS: Stop The World Baseball Classic before it kills again (18:35) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: A bad day for Kellyanne Conway as she reveals Kushner was the only Trump family member to make billions during the Junta, and then shocks the world by confirming China is sending arms... to China! But she's no match for Marianne "Non Disclosure Disagreement" Williamson, and SHE'S no match for Ron "I Eat Pudding With My Fingers" DeSantis.

B-Block (24:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: It was the greatest scoop of my career to that point, an exclusive told in pantomime by the athlete we were staking out, another gift handed to me without a moment's hesitation by a hockey and football owner and curmudgeon named Harry Ornest. And it would've upended the entire coverage of the 1991 National Football League draft. Except the cameraman forgot to roll tape. I'll be getting over it any day now.

C-Block (39:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Archie, a Missouri puppy, was shot in the leg (40:00) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: Two of his stories of man not against others, but against life: "Nine Needles" and "The Mouse Who Went To The Country."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 151: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:42): New Tucker Carlson bombshell in the Dominion Documents Dump. Media Matters discovers a text in which Carlson praised and disseminated the writings of a racist holocaust denier, only 2-1/2 years ago. He sent somebody close enough to Carlson to have his cell number a link to a column written by David Cole - who denies that Auschwitz was an extermination camp and questions whether six million Jewish people perished in the Holocaust. Carlson added "This is a good piece."

That Carlson would praise such scum is hardly news: he works for Fox "News." But this shocker coming out at such a critical time for him and Fox is indeed news. Because it reopens the 2019 scandal that vanished into the pandemic year, in which radio recordings surfaced of Carlson being crassly racist and sexist, and insulting in those ways to the likes of everybody from Barack Obama to Martha Stewart's daughter. Carlson also defended convicted child rapist Warren Jeffs and attacked statutory rape laws.

His other problems continue. A fourth night of "January 6 Video" produced only more re-runs. And he impeached his own Wednesday guest. The Q Shaman's first attorney Albert Watkins was, on Wednesday, a victim of the vast plot Carlson claimed to have uncovered. But last night Watkins became a villain who had let the "shaman" down. In point of fact, Watkins had been fired after he called his client "retarded" and one of the "short bus people" and Watkins was cited for "ineffective assistance of counsel."

Every time Rupert Murdoch and Fox have squirmed out of a scandal they've done so by firing somebody big: Roger Ailes, Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly. Rupert is in survival mode and the new revelations make it easier for him to scapegoat Carlson.

B-Block (19:03) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Yeah yeah sure Trump's gonna be indicted any day now (says the Times. Again). Jenna Ellis, the Canary in the Rudy Giuliani gas coal mine, confesses. Lauren Boebert can't count nor tell time and shock of shocks, a new George Santos scandal. (22:25) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Trump has a new book that sums him up. It's stuff other people wrote TO him. Letters. Now I may have to publish the letter HE wrote to ME. Elon Musk's novel way to promote employees. And Lindsey Graham. No - not that one. A far funnier one.

C-Block (28:00) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: When he went to the 4th Grade at the turn of the 19th and 20th Centuries, the great writer lived in a world where if you failed the 4th Grade, you stayed in the 4th Grade. If his wonderful account is true, some of his classmates had been there for more than a decade, and constituted the best amateur baseball team in the state of Ohio, good enough to beat Ohio State. "I Went To Sullivant."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 146: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: As Rupert Murdoch prepares to scapegoat Fox News CEO Suzanne Scott for the Dominion Documents scandal, a reminder that no matter how hopeful we might be right now, Fox "News" isn't going to destroy itself! Here are ten steps to take to help kill the thing so that democracy may live. There are recommendations for actions by Democrats invited to appear as guests, for what the White House Correspondents Association and RTCA should do, what the Senate should do, what prosecutors should do, what media should do, what the network should do. Plus: there are three steps YOU can do at home to hasten the demise, including hurrying over to UnFoxMyCableBox-dot-com.

Plus I will answer the question: How does Sean Hannity sleep at night (on a bed made out of money) and tell you that the man most responsible for Fox "News" existing today is, of all people, Rudy Giuliani. It's almost forgotten now, but what he did as Mayor of New York in October 1996 saved this godforsaken poisoner of this nation from vanishing almost before it began.

B-Block (26:06) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Jim Jordan's "Weaponization" Committee is coming apart at the seams; DOJ says yes you can sue Trump over 1/6. But that doesn't mean you'll win, and Daniel Ellsberg says goodbye. (30:53) IN SPORTS: Did the New York Rangers' social media director abuse an LGBTQ fan because other LGBTQ fans complained when the Rangers screwed up Pride Night? And the ESPN offer of a true public service: a centralized place where you can find your game, no matter who's streaming it (35:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: The NFL team where players say rats ran the practice facility; who would've guessed Marjorie Traitor Greene's press flak is an asshole; and the Florida legislator who wants to force bloggers who write about Ron DeSantis to REGISTER WITH THE STATE OR FACE HUGE FINES.

C-Block (40:30) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: The only Thurber character who owns his own pet...Thunderstorm: "The Black Magic Of Barney Haller."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 141: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:41) SPECIAL COMMENT: Where is the Department of Justice? Homeland Security? The House Democrats? The Senate Democrats? The Capitol Police Board? When those who are supposed to protect us make it a four-day week, WHO will step up to stop Kevin McCarthy's criminal collusion with Tucker Carlson on the 1/6 Security Video?

Mike Lindell.

No, seriously. 

Lindell alone acts as the implications of McCarthy's Quid Pro Quo become more evident. As the argument is made that the Democrats should now release all the video to all news organizations so some of them will be prepared to push back against Carlson's Conspiracy Theories and False Flag claims, the 44,000 hours of pure unadulterated high grade brainwash is clearly designed to be used to whitewash Trump. And it fits into the Gaslight Ecosystem, which last night expanded to include an organization trying to blacklist ALL former staffers on the House January 6th Committee, and blacklist their new employers, and blacklist their new employers' clients.

B-Block (15:02) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Ron DeSantis and his press secretary are losing a battle with a newscaster who fell asleep on the air the other day; Alaska's advocate for child abuse death is censured; and George Santos not only signs on to legislation honoring a gun, but lies about it as well (19:22) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Does a publisher get to purge mildly offensive words like "fat" or "bald" from the works of a dead author? Wouldn't a warning note be enough? Upping the ante: the author is Roald Dahl, the man who created Willy Wonka. Upping the ante again: he was both an often terrible human being and an often exceptionally kind one. Upping the ante one last time: when I was seven years old, Roald Dahl and I corresponded.

C-Block (39:40) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Ben in Brooklyn (40:40) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: His most darkly humorous story, the one that prophesied Trump: "The Greatest Man In The World."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 136: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:41) The death of baseball's legendary television analyst Tim McCarver, easily one of the most beloved people in the sport, and in broadcasting. I knew him for 42 years and for whatever criticisms he took late in his career from listeners who didn't realize all the other ones were merely doing impressions of him, in 1983 he literally, personally, saved my love of the game. He was a pleasure to work with, and as I have been saying for 20 years, his insight in literally the last 60 seconds of the bottom of the 9th inning of the 7th Game of the most emotional season in baseball history was the television equivalent of Bill Mazeroski's home run to win the 1960 World Series.

B-Block (19:55) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: The Fox News texts are out. Tucker Carlson was afraid Trump would destroy them, but telling the truth about him would tank the stock price. He, Ingraham and Hannity all thought Rudy Giuliani was crazy. The News Chief tried to stop news. Perjury in the Trump Atlanta case? How many people did Senator Fetterman help yesterday? Now that he's proven he can live on his own, why is the Central Park Zoo setting a honey trap to re-capture Flaco the Owl? And can anyone stop the Killer Windows of Russia? (25:48) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Nikki Haley would struggle with the math part of her own Presidential Candidate Mental Competency Test, Ann Coulter makes you feel sympathy for Nikki Haley, and a German choreographer says: I am an artist and you have criticized me, so, I will now smear my dog's feces on your face.

C-Block (31:50) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Falcon, Rio, Titan, Torino, and Tundra - five pups with Parvo in Texas (32:50) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: fittingly on the occasion of the loss of a great baseball broadcaster, Thurber's story that begins with the words of another great baseball broadcaster: "The Catbird Seat."

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

EPISODE 126: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: The New McCarthyism of Kevin McCarthy goes on full display. He has the nerve to complain of Ilhan Omar's seeming antisemitism that she said "I didn't now there's a trope when it comes to referring to somebody who is Jewish, with money." Yet in 2018 McCarthy himself tweeted "We cannot allow Soros, Steyer, and Bloomberg to BUY this election!" - as obvious a "Jewish With Money" trope as there could be. And McCarthy is still demanding spending cuts without once saying where the cuts should be. And now he's proposing a Congressional hearing into DirecTV refusing to pay $20,000,000 to NewsMax for that which NewsMax was charging it $0. And yet the only event that could actually cost him, was refusing to concur with Marjorie Traitor Greene that Ashli Babbitt was "murdered." Also: Bill Barr defends the Durham Farce and the Los Angeles Times makes him sound as high as a Chinese Spy Balloon.

B-Block (15:27) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: One America News, leading Paul Pelosi Conspiracy Conveyor, has clearly been scared into honesty. An Illinois woman embezzled 100,000 Chicken Wings. And a Nebraska senator has come up with the last impediment to voting that the fascists had forgot to impose. (20:15) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: His best known, and probably his best, short story: The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty.

C-Block (35:50) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Sweetheart, in Texas; (37:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I'm sure you've all made a commercial, but did you fall off a cliff while doing so? Did your commercial bankrupt the company? Aha! Let me learn you some things.

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EPISODE 121: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT: Yesterday I proposed that to crowd this corrupt Republican farce, "The Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Government" off the stage, the Democrats needed a similar investigation in the Senate. Suddenly there are far more important reasons than politics and counter-programming. The New York Times' post-mortem on The Durham "Investigation" shows ethical corner cutting and possible criminality. And the deeper dives into the ex-FBI agent arrested Monday show the outlines of the possibility Charles McGonigal took Russian money long before 2021. What if these are just two pictures of the same conspiracy taken at different times? What if this is ALL about an effort to protect Russian Government Intelligence Agencies, and Trump? And even worse: what if The New McCarthyism of the "Weaponization" subcommittee is just the newest photo of the same cover-up?  Start that investigation now, Senators.

B-Block (14:57) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Cookie, in Ft. Lauderdale (16:07) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Sports Owner James Dolan-Moron; Fascist Congressmen threaten an investigation of one company refusing to start paying another company for a product it currently gets for free; and George "Jew-Ish" Santos turns out to have posted offensive Hitler jokes (22:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Numerology time. One birthday boy's greatest scoop, about a guy whose birthday was the day before, that aired on 8/8/88.

C-Block (28:43) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: His epic story of deception and the Brooklyn Dodgers: "The Catbird Seat."

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EPISODE 112: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:42) SPECIAL COMMENT: Garland has to go - and NOT because he appointed a Special Counsel; that'll probably work to Biden's advantage. We have to have somebody there to protect the Trump Investigation and Merrick Garland has again shown he's not smart enough to be trusted with doing it.

Garland has to go because of a question nobody's asking: Who illegally leaked this confidential investigation to CBS News? How could it leak barely four days after the internal recommendation to name a Counsel? How could Garland have handed this case requiring ultimate secrecy to a Trump appointee? How could he NOW hand the case over to a DIFFERENT Trump appointee who used to clerk for Justice Rehnquist and has his own page as a "contributing expert" to The Federalist Society? We've all long had reasons to question Merrick Garland's intelligence and savviness, but these are the last straws. He's just no damn good at this, and right now we have no margin for error for a guy whose Department of Justice is a sieve, and doesn't understand the realities of the Trump cult.

B-Block (16:48) SPECIAL COMMENT No. 2: This is the third time I have suggested Garland must either act or resign. In September, as Trump tried to block the Mar-a-Lago investigation via the "Special Master" there was a way around the stall for Garland. And he just sat back and did nothing.

C-Block (25:30) SPECIAL COMMENT No. 3: And in October, Garland seemed to willfully ignore that week-long orgy of Trump's boastful confessions about the documents he stole. (40:45) It's so bad that there's even a James Thurber fable, the moral of which is the story of Merrick Garland. It's called "The Bear Who Let It Alone."

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EPISODE 102: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:43) SPECIAL COMMENT No. 1: George Santos is the Brian Williams of politics. I joked last week "If that IS your real name." Now there's question as to whether or not it is. And about where he went to HIGH SCHOOL. And the time he claimed he was black. And about how he could get Kevin McCarthy elected speaker - and get him fired later. As the Feds begin to follow his equally dubious campaign money, I repeat my plea to Democrats: don't try to keep him from being seated by the House of Representatives next Tuesday. After it dawned on me that the comp for Santos is my unfortunate former friend Brian Williams, it also dawned on me that there might still be a way for Santos to worm his way out of it. And that's also reflected in the saga of the George Santos of 1954: Congressman Douglas Stringfellow of Arizona.

B-Block (18:36) SPECIAL COMMENT No. 2: There is method to the January 6th Committee's madness of waiting until the Christmas-New Year's Break to release its final report and these fascinating deposition transcripts. I think they did it to shield the recommendation to invoke the Insurrection Clause of the 14th Amendment. As a bonus yesterday we got testimony that Kim Guilfoyle is an idiot, and that Melania Trump lived in mortal fear of being seen in her robe by Rudy Giuliani.

B-Block (33:51) IN SPORTS: The death of Pele, an analysis of the athletic gifts that made him his game's greatest ever, and his surprising legacy in New York and the United States. (37:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Bad reporting at The New York Times, New York Magazine, and Politico is no match for - as Scottish tweeter Al Kennedy wrote - "I have to hand it to Andrew Tate, this is the first time I've seen someone be so outwitted by a teenager that they end up in jail without it involving a dog that solves fake ghost mysteries."

C-Block (43:21) FRIDAYS WITH JAMES THURBER: His most reprinted story: "The Night The Bed Fell."

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EPISODE 100 REVISED: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN

A-Block (1:53) BREAKING OVERNIGHT NEWS IN SPORTS: 24 hours ago Carlos Correa was on his way to a press conference for a $350 Million dollar deal with the San Francisco Giants. Then the shindig was cancelled and now Correa has instead signed with the New York Mets! Invoking the college basketball coached who changed his mind on the way to HIS press conference. And sadness in football as Franco Harris died, two days before the 50th Anniversary of the "Immaculate Reception" and three before the Steelers were to retire his uniform.

SPECIAL COMMENT (7:17) Merry Christmas! We got you six years of Trump's Tax Returns! No accounting expertise? No problem. There are apparently no receipts, no substantiations - and somebody stopped the IRS from its mandated audit of Trump's returns while he was in the Oval Office (9:00 The walls haven't just closed in on Trump, they've crushed him. The 1/6 Committee is now shipping all its evidence to DOJ Special Counsel Jack Smith (10:52) Remember the attorney who told the Trump witness not to tell everything to the Committee? She's been identified - and her lawyer was the Trump White House Ethics Attorney! (10:45) Bigger picture: The Omnibus Spending Bill will include "The Electoral Count Reform And Presidential Transition Improvement Act," or as it has also been described: Trump-Proofing Our System (14:00) And the right wingers are beginning to look for the Emergency Exit. They can't survive an actual Trump Trial, so they are floating "The Agnew Option" (16:00) But couldn't Trump then transfer his cult to some up and coming young Republican like Representative-Elect George Santos and his helpers? I will not make Simpsons references I will not make Simpsons references I will not make Simpsons references. (17:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: He really thought the name was "John Mastodon;" the owner of the Knicks, Rangers and Radio City owner is using facial recognition technology to keep out people he doesn't like, and Sean Hannity says you're not allowed to have his phone number (23:00) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Grizzly in California.

B-Block (25:30) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Amid dark rumors at MSNBC, the day that GE was ready to shut us down because the chairman's mother loved Fox News.

C-Block (44:00) JAMES THURBER: Maybe the best of his longer works, that almost predicted Joe McCarthy, O.J. Simpson, Donald Trump. The saga of fame without character, "The Greatest Man In The World."

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