listenrinserepeat

Erik McGuffin is once again desperate to land a sale.

This episode is made for kids.

Written, Preformed and Edited by Harlan Guthrie

Dice Shame is an actual play, Dungeons & Dragons Podcast created by a group of friends who love telling adventure stories. If you enjoyed this, check them out!

www.diceshamepodcast.com

TRANSCRIPT

Hello?

Oh hello there, this is Erik McGuffin, I can sell and DO ANYTHING YOU NEED. For example; do you need your windows cleaned?
No.

Ducts cleaned?
Don’t like ducks.

Driveway paved?
I park in the lane.

Lane way paved!
Don’t drive

You just said you park in the laneway
Yes, I park my bike there.

Do you. Do you need your gears cleaned?
No.

Your seat adjusted?
No.

Your Tires pumped?
Yes.

Aha! Can I interest you In my services! I will arrive at your home, any time or day you’d like and pump up your bicycle tires so it is ready to go whenever you may need it!
No.

No, why not?
Someone stole my bicycle.

Ah. Would you like to purchase a bicycle

Storyblocks

Whelks lay strange eggs.

This episode is not explicit.

Story by PRRP, Music by Mx Michael

https://www.patreon.com/freckle

TRANSCRIPT

Whelks lay connected eggs.

I’ve gotten feedback that my last couple episodes haven’t been as informative as my previous ones. I’m trying my best. It’s an audio medium and I’m trying to describe things that are really pictorial. The whelk is like a snail whose eggs are all attached. If you wanna find out what this is, just Google “mermaid necklace” and you’ll find a picture of what I’m talking about. We have a limited amount of time, and it doesn’t behoove me to explain in excruciating detail everything about these eggs.

Whelks lay strange eggs.

David calls Elvira from another timeline. Elvira needs to talk David into helping her. David needs to convince Elvira to trust him. It’s basically a whole… wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey thing.

This story in eight parts can be listened to in any order. To follow Elvira’s timeline, go E1-E8, and to follow David’s, D1-D8.

This episode is not explicit.

ELVIRA – Kirsty Woolven
DAVID – Lee Shackleford

Written and produced by Karin Heimdahl.

To hear more from us, check out fiction podcasts Y2K, Relativity and upcoming show Arrivals.

Karin is the creator of audio drama Y2K. In 2019, she won an Audioverse award for writing a spoken word monologue. She is also a voice actor, podcaster and drama teacher turned project manager. Voice acting credits include Mirrors, Vampires of White Chapel, Copperheart and Hit the Bricks. She produces and co-hosts Det nya svarta, a pop culture podcast in Swedish. Karin lives in Gothenburg, Sweden.

Y2K website https://y2kpod.com/
Listen https://y2kpod.com/episodes/
Arrivals https://arrivalspod.carrd.co/
Relativity https://relativitypodcast.com/

TRANSCRIPT

E6 D3

(dial tone, click)
E: Hello
D: Elvira. It’s David.
E: Oh David. It worked! I-
D: Um, haven’t done whatever it is… yet…
E: Right. Sorry. What number?
D: Three for me.
E: I’m at six. (checks notebook, pages turning) You have… one more where I’ll know you. Won’t be in order for you though.
D: OK. What do I do?
E: Right. One. Make me trust you. Two. Tell me about Sophie. Three-
D: Wait, Sophie who?
E: You haven’t talked to her yet.
D: OK.
E: You will. (beat) Have to go. Call again!
(click)

CREDITS
This Listen, Rinse, Repeat story was written and produced by Karin Heimdahl - that’s me. Kirsty Woolven voiced Elvira, and Lee Shackleford voiced David. To hear more from us, check out Y2K, Relativity and upcoming show Arrivals.

Sound effects either created by Karin, or from freesound.org under the Creative Commons 0 license. Credits music ""Somber Viola"" by BigManJoe, also from Freesound.

Grab your Affordabuddy (TM) and get ready to ruuummmmble!

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Shannon Perry of Oz 9; performed by Hannah McIver

Shannon Perry is the creator and complete disaster behind Oz 9.

Hannah is a Northern actor/singer who would love to do more voiceover work alongside performing. During these crazy times Hannah stays sane by keeping creative. Find her on Twitter @hanmciver

https://oz-9.com

TRANSCRIPT

Attention TawdryMart shoppers,
It’s Tuesday at 2 PM, and you know what that means. Grab your Affordabuddy — TM — and get ready to rumble. Today’s two-for-one free-for-all is in the meat section. We have a 30-pack of Uncle Danny’s Might-Be Meat- hang on. [pause] Sorry, Mighty Meat Sausages at half price, and the Affordabuddies who make it there first- OY! Caped Couponers, back behind the line and wait for the bell! The affordabuddies who make it to the freezer first get one pack free and the pick of the litter. Are you rrrrrready? [bell]


Music: “Such a swinging good time” by Neil Cross, Storyblocks"

Our pair hears something scary up ahead.

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Paul Lonsdale, produced and performed by Vin Ernst

TRANSCRIPT

Bac
Teria? Teria? What happened?
[pause]
Teria?
[pause]
TERIA?
[splash]
Teria
Bac!
Bac
[shiver]
Ahhhhhh! This is cold and horrible!
Teria
[faint sound of water filtration]
I don’t like it either! It’s moving faster than the ‘slide’.
Bac
[with some concern]
It is, isn’t it? Uh oh....
[pause]
Teria
What is it Bac?
Bac
I ...
[pause]
No, I don’t think you want to know.
[slightly louder sound of water filtration]

ANOTHER BOARD MEETING

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Lee Shackleford and performed by Kyle Jones, Clarence Brown, and Lee Shackleford, all of the podcast DISCUSSING WHO.

discussingwho.com

TRANSCRIPT

"ANOTHER BOARD MEETING"

PRESIDENT: Gentlemen, I want our podcast "Listen, Rinse, Repeat" to remain competitive at all costs!

COOPER: Well, sir, the reports from our customer surveys tell us we're doing very well. People love the podcast.

JENKINS: It's true, sir -- in fact, most of them say they find it to be, uh -- (checks papers) sweet.

COOPER: And they identify you with the product, so they apparently also find YOU to be ... sweet.

PRESIDENT: "Sweet"? "SWEET"?

JENKINS: Well, that's what the survey --

PRESIDENT: (dangerous) Do YOU think I'm "sweet"?

COOPER: Oh, no, sir!

JENKINS: No, no.

PRESIDENT: WHAT?!

COOPER: No, no, but yes!

JENKINS: We mean -- yes! Unless, uh --

PRESIDENT: (struggling) Well ... urrgh ... as long they keep listening, I suppose --

COOPER: And washing their hands --

PRESIDENT: -- and washing their hands, I suppose I can ... accept being ... sweet.

JENKINS: Good for you, sir!

NADIA: "Another Board Meeting" featured Kyle Jones, Clarence Brown, and Lee Shackleford -- all from the DISCUSSING WHO podcast.

What exactly happens when you're trapped in a jar?

This episode is not explicit.

Performed by James Schwarz, David Miller, Elizabeth Wilcox, Amanda Kreitler, and Zac Kreitler.
Written by Zac Kreitler

www.dimensiondoorpodcast.com
www.podchaser.com/thedimensiondoorpodcast

TRANSCRIPT

Lisa: dermo. Vrixx, you are filthy! How could someone SO small have SO MUCH crud on them? I ask you
Vrixx: If you would just let me out of this stupid jar, I could clean myself off!
Norm: Well you SHOULD get washed up. As a doctor, I’ve seen how dirty hands love to spread commutative diseases.
Marge: Communicable, sweetie.
Norm: Oh, right. Communicable. Thanks, hon!
Valdeen: Come to think of it, how did you get so dirty INSIDE the jar? Did you have the dirt in your pockets?
Vrixx: It’s interdimensional

Your Brain on Facts is a half-hour podcast of things you didn’t know, things you thought you knew, and things you never knew you never knew, covering topics as diverse as science-fiction, funerals, food origins, heroic animals, and the strategic butter reserve.

Before she started the Your Brain On Facts podcast to safely vent the copious bonus facts in her brain, Moxie LaBouche performed and produced burlesque, specifically ""nerd-lesque."" It was her privilege to produce the only George R. R. Martin-approved burlesque tribute to Game of Thrones and even to play for the man himself.

Moxie has presented a local TED talk, is the prolific author of unfinished fiction, knows seven words of Latin, and previously earned her living as a goat farmer and soap maker. She is also the creator and co-host of the Science With Savannah, Age 7 podcast and YouTube channel.
Moxie lives in Virginia with her husband and a dozen or so pets.

http://yourbrainonfacts.com/

TRANSCRIPT

For the last hundred years, many people in South Korea have believed that leaving a fan on overnight will kill you in your sleep, either by suffocating you or freezing you. While the exact origin of the belief is unclear, suspicion has fallen on the SK government starting the rumor during the 70s energy crisis to get people to use less electricity.

Don’t anthropomorphise.

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Clare O'Brien, courtesy of 50-Word Stories.
Performed by Angela Kanwar as Chloe and Sophie Ryder as Claudette..
Produced by Karin Heimdahl.

(Sophie Ryder)

Writing licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Previously PR to a politician and PA to a rock star, Clare now lives noisily in Scotland, writing her first novel, Light Switch. Her work has recently appeared in Mslexia, The London Reader, Spelk, Cabinet of Heed, Northwords Now, and anthologies from The Emma Press and Hedgehog Poetry. Find out more at http://clarevobrien.weebly.com/

Angela Kanwar is a versatile British Voiceover Artist with a warm, engaging and assuring tone. www.linkedin.com/in/angela-kanwar-b2784729

Find Sophie Ryder on Twitter https://twitter.com/SophieRyderVA

50-Word Stories https://fiftywordstories.com/

Karin Heimdahl produces audio drama Y2K https://y2kpod.com

TRANSCRIPT

CHLOE Sometimes, when I look into his eyes, I swear he understands everything I’m saying.

CLAUDETTE Don’t anthropomorphise. They’re only human.

NARRATOR/CHLOE Chloe licked the man’s hand as he scraped leftovers into their bowls. What did it matter, anyway? They were onto a good thing here.

Credits
This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was voiced by Angela Kanwar as Chloe and Sophie Ryder as Claudette. It was produced by Karin Heimdahl and written by Clare O'Brien, courtesy of fiftywordstories.com
Clare lives in Scotland, writing her first novel, Light Switch.

Music by Chip Michael. Sound effects from freesound.org under the Creative Commons 0 license.

Anikah and Rose wonder if a tourist is brave enough to go into George's antique shop.

This episode is not explicit.

Voiced by Kari Aguila and Taylor Edwards of “Broken, Alaska” and written by Kari Aguila.

www.brokenalaskapodcast.com

TRANSCRIPT

Oosiks.

Oh, I’ve gotta go, Anikah. I see some tourists coming up to my produce stand. I’ll talk to you soon.

Yesterday a tourist off the Queen of the Gulls stopped me on Main Street and asked about a public restroom.

Really? What’d you say?

"Well," I said. "You can always use the one in George's Antiques Shop.”
I pointed across the street to the ramshackle little shop and the woman turned to go. "Oh, and by the way," I shouted to her, "George sometimes likes to hide behind the giant Oosik bones when he sees someone he doesn't know."

Oh, George and his oosiks!

"Oosik?" she asked.
"Yeah. Walrus penis bones. He has quite a collection behind the obituaries and the handcuffs and the… You know what? Never mind. You’ll be fine."

Did she go in?

About ten minutes later, I saw that same tourist, coming out of the woods buttoning up her jeans.

She just went in the woods?

What’s up with that?

This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was voiced by Kari Aguila and Taylor Edwards of “Broken, Alaska” and written by Kari Aguila.

There may be something dangerous in the woods with them

This episode is not explicit.

Written by David S. Dear; performed by Raj Jawa and Stephanie Bergeron

http://ninthworldjournal.com 
http://rajjawa.com  
http://stephaniebergeron.com  

TRANSCRIPT

A strange sound is heard
GUS
What was that?
KELLY
I don't know... what do you think it was?
GUS
It sounded like... an orthopedic surgeon.
KELLY
What would an orthopedic surgeon be doing out here?
GUS
I don't know, but I'm really scared.
KELLY
Me too.
(beat)
Are orthopedic surgeons vegetarians?
GUS
I don't think so, Kelly.
KELLY
Hold, me, Gus.


SFX Credits:

Large Warehouse/Factory Ambience

https://freesound.org/people/fimrod/sounds/278987/

Black Throated Diver Calling

https://www.freesfx.co.uk/sfx/Black-Throated-Diver

Box Falling Down Stairs

https://www.freesfx.co.uk/sfx/drop-box-stairs

Drop Several Silverware Utensils on Hard Surface

https://www.freesfx.co.uk/sfx/drop-silverware-hard

Hammering on Metal Pipe

https://www.freesfx.co.uk/sfx/Hammering-Metal-Pipe

Volvo Car Horn Honks Short and Long

https://freesfx.co.uk/sfx/Volvo-Car

City Park Ambience WIth Distant Traffic

https://www.freesfx.co.uk/sfx/City-Park-Ambience

Music Credits:

Paradise by Music For Makers (Paid Commercial License)

https://musicformakers.com/songs/paradise/

Among the Clouds by Music For Makers (Paid Commercial License)

https://musicformakers.com/songs/among-the-clouds/

Vacation Days by Music For Makers (Paid Commercial License)

https://musicformakers.com/songs/vacation-days/

Lullaby Sting by Twin Musicom

http://www.twinmusicom.org/song/147/lullaby-stab

Our pair finds themselves moving very fast in the dark.

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Paul Lonsdale, produced and performed by Vin Ernst

TRANSCRIPT

Teria
Where are we?
Bac
I don’t know Teria but we’re moving very fast. Eeeeeee
Teria
I want to get off Bac! I don’t like it.
Bac
But it’s funnnnn. Eeeeeeee
Teria
But I feel sick!
Bac
Okay, okay Teria. I don’t know where we are.
[pause]
But I think it’s some sort of slide. Eeeeeee.
Teria
A slide Bac? But it’s dark and scary and I want to get off!
Bac
I see light again, just in front of you -
[splash]

Bac & Teria by Paul Lonsdale

David calls Elvira from another timeline. Elvira needs to talk David into helping her. David needs to convince Elvira to trust him. It’s basically a whole… wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey thing.

This story in eight parts can be listened to in any order. To follow Elvira’s timeline, go E1-E8, and to follow David’s, D1-D8.

This episode is not explicit.

ELVIRA – Kirsty Woolven
DAVID – Lee Shackleford

Written and produced by Karin Heimdahl.

To hear more from us, check out fiction podcasts Y2K, Relativity and upcoming show Arrivals.

Karin is the creator of audio drama Y2K. In 2019, she won an Audioverse award for writing a spoken word monologue. She is also a voice actor, podcaster and drama teacher turned project manager. Voice acting credits include Mirrors, Vampires of White Chapel, Copperheart and Hit the Bricks. She produces and co-hosts Det nya svarta, a pop culture podcast in Swedish. Karin lives in Gothenburg, Sweden.

Y2K website https://y2kpod.com/
Listen https://y2kpod.com/episodes/
Arrivals https://arrivalspod.carrd.co/
Relativity https://relativitypodcast.com/

TRANSCRIPT

E5 D5

(dial tone, click)
E: Hello.
D: Elvira?
E: (happy) Hi David.
D: Phew! So this must be the last one where you know me.
E: Right. (checks notebook, pages turning) Good to know. Number?
D: Five.
E: Me too. (beat) Thank you.
D: Haven’t done it yet.
E: No. But you will. So. Talked to Sophie yet?
D: No.
E: She’ll turn up. Keep calling.
D: I will. You said something about a step three?
E: Oh. (beat) You’ll figure it out. (gently) Bye David.
(click)

CREDITS
This Listen, Rinse, Repeat story was written and produced by Karin Heimdahl - that’s me. Kirsty Woolven voiced Elvira, and Lee Shackleford voiced David. To hear more from us, check out Y2K, Relativity and upcoming show Arrivals.

Sound effects either created by Karin, or from freesound.org under the Creative Commons 0 license. Credits music ""Somber Viola"" by BigManJoe, also from Freesound.

Robins lay blue eggs.

This episode is not explicit.

Story by PRRP, Music by Mx Michael

https://www.patreon.com/freckle

TRANSCRIPT

Robins lay blue eggs.

Sorry I got on a tangent last time. We only have like 50 seconds so I wasn’t able to steer it back in time, so this one’s gonna be a lot shorter. Robins are a bird that cheep, their eggs are so blue they even have a color named after them: Robin’s Egg Blue.

Robins lay strange eggs.

Your Brain on Facts is a half-hour podcast of things you didn’t know, things you thought you knew, and things you never knew you never knew, covering topics as diverse as science-fiction, funerals, food origins, heroic animals, and the strategic butter reserve.

Before she started the Your Brain On Facts podcast to safely vent the copious bonus facts in her brain, Moxie LaBouche performed and produced burlesque, specifically "nerd-lesque." It was her privilege to produce the only George R. R. Martin-approved burlesque tribute to Game of Thrones and even to play for the man himself.
Moxie has presented a local TED talk, is the prolific author of unfinished fiction, knows seven words of Latin, and previously earned her living as a goat farmer and soap maker. She is also the creator and co-host of the Science With Savannah, Age 7 podcast and YouTube channel.
Moxie lives in Virginia with her husband and a dozen or so pets.

http://yourbrainonfacts.com/

TRANSCRIPT

Violet “Miss Unsinkable” Jessop was a stewardess and nurse aboard White Star Line passenger ships.  She survived the sinking of the Titanic, which hit an iceberg, the Britannic, which hit a sea mine, and the Olympic, which collided with a British warship.

What can YOU do in twenty seconds?

This episode is not explicit.

Performed by James Schwarz, David Miller, Elizabeth Wilcox, Amanda Kreitler, and Zac Kreitler.
Written by Elizabeth Wilcox.

Elizabeth is the Social Media Coordinator for and voices Vasilisa on The Dimension Door Podcast

dimensiondoorpodcast.com
podchaser.com/thedimensiondoorpodcast

TRANSCRIPT

GM: A lot can happen in 20 seconds
Valdeen: I could empty my pistol
Vasilisa: I could cast several spells
Marge: I could run over 200 feet! Unless there’s lots of snow, of course
Norm: I could apply poison to three darts, even if I’m really careful
GM: Or, we could just wash our hands!

Our pair find each other, but covered by a strange substance.

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Paul Lonsdale, produced and performed by Vin Ernst


TRANSCRIPT

Bac
Teria? Teria?!
Teria
Bac? Is that... you?
Bac
Yes it’s meeee!
Teria
Wow I am glad to see... hear you!
Bac
Me too Teria!
[pause]
It’s very dark down here.
Teria
It is, isn’t it! And we’re moving very fast.
What’s this stuff we’re covered in?
Bac
Soo.. soap.. I think?

An ad for the very good company Skateboards 4 Babies

This episode is not explicit.

All the stuff: Kendon Luscher

https://www.buzzsprout.com/815707

TRANSCRIPT

Narrator: Do you like to shred? Skateboards 4 Babies is the only skateboard made for babies to shred.

Guy: Whoa. That's a cool baby. Where'd it get that skateboard?

Narrator: It got that skateboard from skateboards for babies.

Guy: Oh yeah. That's cool. I should probably get a baby so I can get a Skateboards 4 Babies for my baby.

Narrator: Heck yeah. Skateboards 4 Babies. Yeah.

Guy: I'll get on that.

Kendon Luscher

Resolutions for these times.

This episode is not explicit.

Written by Marjan Sierhuis, courtesy of 50-Word Stories.
Produced and performed by Lorraine Ansell.

Writing licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Marjan Sierhuis enjoys reading and writing flash fiction.
http://twitter.com/MarjanSierhuis

Lorraine Ansell is an experienced voice and delights in telling stories from all walks of life globally.
www.lorrainevoiceart.com

50-Word Stories https://fiftywordstories.com/

TRANSCRIPT

Darn the holes in the socks
Touch up grey hair roots
Get up close and personal with some favorite cooking shows
Organize the kitchen cupboards
Attack the dust bunnies that reside under the bed
Binge read every single story published on 50-Word Stories
Or sit around and do absolutely nothing

Credits
This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was voiced and produced by Lorraine Ansell, and written by Marjan Sierhuis courtesy of fiftywordstories.com
Marjan Sierhuis enjoys reading and writing flash fiction.

Seward was almost killed the same night as Lincoln.

This episode is not explicit.

Voiced by Michael Crowley and Kari Aguila of “Broken, Alaska” and written by Kari Aguila.

www.brokenalaskapodcast.com

TRANSCRIPT

Three-Fer Assasination.

You’ve all heard about how Secretary of State Seward bought Alaska in 1867 and was laughed at for the rest of his life, but it should also be remembered that he was a close friend of President Abraham Lincoln, and was nearly assassinated the same night as Lincoln.

On April 14, 1865, John Wilkes Booth loaded his gun and headed to the Ford’s Theater, George Atzerodt chickened out before trying to kill Vice President Johnson, and Lewis Powell walked into Secretary Seward’s bedroom and slashed him to ribbons with a knife.

He survived, but it was planned to be a three-fer assassination!

Living here in Broken, Alaska, we know there are many sides to every person, even Secretary Seward. Maybe even you.

This episode of Listen, Rinse, Repeat was voiced by Michael Crowley and Kari Aguila of “Broken, Alaska” and written by Kari Aguila.