news and politics

1- Michael Sam is gay but it’s the NFL execs that are punks
2- Hey Michael, please assault someone to prove you belong
3- Media accuses media of media circus during media circus
4- MSNBC, stop it
5- Repubs can't create laws while busy creating fake websites
6- Hello Florida, living to grow up is a basic human right, stand on that

1- Obama es no bueno
2- We don’t like him but boy is he powerful
3- Christian+ Patriot+ militia = meeting secret service
4- No its not race, you racist
5- When you get away with it, shut up
6- Fight the war on Christmas, get to a mall

1-Another mass shooting, business as usual
2-New gun laws, No Gun laws, No new gun laws
3-Take guns from mentally ill? Hell they won’t take them from the blind
4- Nothing changes if Nothing changes from cops to congress
5- Another scary black man shot
6- Defund Obamacare or we will shut down the government, again, no really, this time we mean it, sort of, we will,
7- Beanie Babies in trouble
8- Crime doesn’t pay Video games about crime pay a fortune
9 -Texas says, Science , we don’t need no stinking science
10- I’m going on cruise and ill be back cuz its not Carnival

1- Its Scandal season, personally, I miss SARS
2- Benghazi, Ben Messy what happens when secret source is a liar and you are a sucker
3- AP Phone records who knew they hated Obama more than they love foiling plots
4- House votes against Obamacare, its only the 37th time you voted against a law approved by supreme court , way to not waste time & money
5- Banks play morality card , no really, ,the bankers used the word morality, c’mon, stop it, you’re killing me
6- And you thought Bachman was crazy, well she is, but we can top her

1- You know its gonna be a bad day when
2- Jason Collins first gay athlete KUDOS sir
3- Chris Broussard homophobe, hypocrite, christian ? Hey ESPN give him Sunday & every other day off
4- Guns Gins Guns 3 sides of a coin
5- You might be an idiot when you have redneck day
6- Thug goat? Really Mountain dew, a thug goat?
7- Obama is hilarious
8- And Sarah Palin hates him for it
9- 29% believe in armed rebellion, and santa clause
10- Secede already, go, no really, go, take your guns and we’ll keep our rules
11- Anne Hathaway glad to hear we really hate Gwyneth Paltrow more

1- Kidneys gone, I’m good Thanks
2- Welcome to Louisiana have a drink get ur gun
3- North Dakota says at conception  you are a person with rights except the right to choose
4- Don Young calls em Wetbacks Obama calls her beautiful Same thing right?
5- Boycott FOX news about time that left wing FOX is exposed
6- Religion is like a penis, Do not pull it out in public
7- Science says universe is 13.82 billion years old Palin is sticking with 5000
8- Plan B with no ID
9- RIP Margaret Thatcher
10- Ben Carson the new great black hope
11- Congrats Rick Pitino and Louisville greatest week ever
12- Brittney Griner to NBA? Uh NO
13- Tiger will master Masters
14- Psst, need an Accord?
Apr 10, 2013

1.    1.  State of the Union Obama is SMOOV
2.    2. Rubio Rebuttal Lying makes me thirsty
3.    3.  Rend rebuttal to rebuttal, why is there always a secret list?
4.    4.  Loving immigrants and hating women what about women immigrants?
5.    5. Dorner a damn shame all around
6.    6. Bruce , Die Hard and shut up
7.    7. Carnival Cruise vacation? Or Survivor episode?
8.    8. Alabama players making ends meet
9.    9. Condi, just gotta start something
10. 10. Coke overdose, no , not that coke, COKE
11. 11. Heart attack Grill finally truth in advertising Feb 18, 2013

1- Guns. It's not video games it's the guns
2- Sheriff Joe needs a calender not a posse
3- Hypocrites Hall of Fame
4- Good luck RG3 abd Roll Tide
5- The NBA is playing. Before the all star break?
6- Hockey's back. You did know they were gone right?
7- Worst murder plot ever Jan 17, 2013

1- Vegas baby. Pacqaio Rodeo Mal Hall and George Wallace. What a party
2 Stand your ground defend your house stop the madness
3 Jan brewer flips Repubs flop the new Republicans love latinos.
4-Fiscal cliff. We're falling but don't worry it won't interrupt
congressional vacations
5 Dow up unemployment down worlds not ending
6 Obama aid becomes lobbyist. Finally a democrat learning the corruption
game
7 FOX news home of Sarah Palin calls Susan Rice incompetent. No seriously
they did
8 War on Christmas? Just ask DMX and Rudolf Dec 13, 2012

1- Obama says take fiscal cliff fight to twitter, wants a fair and balanced approach. I guess he's just gonna rub that in FOX news people 2- Voters more willing to compromise than congress people. Well most voters aren't crooks paid by lobbyists so I'm not surprised 3- Jon Huntsman was biggest threat according to Obama campaign manager. No he wasn't , Jon Huntsman is reasonable. He never had a chance in republican primary 4- War on women is women's fault FOX news says learn your place ladies , then you?ll be happy and you wouldn't be voting for that socialist 5- Strike at Wal Mart...not happening 6- New Black Friday tradition, count the Wal Mart wounded. Bet the over/under 7- Stop the parade, We?re running out of helium Inflate balloons with Trumps hot air 8- Notre Dame is unbeaten 9- RIP Larry Hagman They finally got JR 10- Fl. woman arrested for riding a manatee. Let me get this straight Florida, riding manatee illegal, shooting black teenager, we're ok with that 11- Cop buys a homeless man a pair of boots Beautiful gesture, no joke. Happy Holidays

1-Happy Black Friday, I mean Thanksgiving
2-Republicans, shut up the reason you lost is Obama was better
3-You want to secede? Bye its been fun, screw off and play football against each other
4-Weed is legal Twinkies are bankrupt? Oh noooooo
5-Abandon kids football? OK, lets watch the fat teenagers show again
6-Hammer goes Gangam style , and hopefully shares some financial advice Nov 22, 2012

1- Biden whups some ass 2- Funny VP Tweets. Call 911 3- Martha Raddutz a REAL moderator 4- Obama. Pay Attention 5- 5 dollars a gallon? Get more elves 6- November Baseball? 7- Evolution a lie from hell and other brilliant science

1- Election vs coronation. 2- Wake the f**k up 3- Romney leads middle class 4- Climate change Fox News and fairy tales 5- Perry blames Satan so Obama must be Jesus 6- Christian Right blames Obama so he must be Satan 7- California cars don't need you 8- Voter test: Who's Honey Boo Boo?

1-Obama gets a bounce. He’s saving one job, his
2- Michelle Obama says don’t mess with my man
3- Clnton gives a speech so good we remember why he got BJ’s
4- You’re like Hitler, No, You’re like Hitler
5- Insult your opponent, nicely
6- Voter rights, we’ve progressed all the way to the 60’s, again
7- IBISWorld predicts people spending again. I dunno if theyre right but ladies, go buy some shoes
8- Repubs hate gay marriage less because it’s a family value?
9- Organic  Schmorganic
10- Keep your job because you like to eat don’t you?
11 RIP Michael Clarke Duncan. Gonna miss the Kingpin
AlonzoLive.com
@AlonzoBodden
Sep 12, 2012

1- You Didn't Build That, in context with the truth 2- Repub convention, if you build it we will come and laugh 3- Small Businessman built it with money from government contracts 4- Paul Ryan learned it with social security money 5- Mia Love built it with 10 bucks 6- Rush says Obama manipulated hurricane, I thought only THOR could manipulate hurricanes, maybe Storm from X-Men 7- Hurricane heads for Tampa and could end in Ryan's hometown I guess God wants to meet them 8- Gov Jindal stays home, to ask for more federal money 9- Apple Computer is gangsta Samsung is Apple's bitch 10- Smoking pot lowers IQ and memory, I think 11- Texas judge says Obama re election will lead to civil war 12- Mississippi combats teen pregnancy with less education 13- Man eaten by grizzly bear he was photographing 14- notice the link between topics 10-14

Topics Include: Joel Ward, Derrick Rose, Heat destry Knicks, Housing hit rock bottom?, Romney says borrow money from parents, GM CEO needs more money, Worker Productivity, Dan Savage, Thinking undermines faith, Zimmerman collects $200K, Obama and Kimmel kill at press dinner, Dutch ban tourist weed - no more tourism. May 01, 2012

Topics Include: Tax Day, Secret Service Prostitutes, Hillary Rosen vs. Ann Romney Work vs. Home, Romney says 92% of jobs lost under Obama were women's jobs, Women focus of NRA convention bring on "Bra Holster", Ted Nugent at NRA: "If Obama reelected this time next year I'll be in jail or dead", Tupac hologram at Coachella, Kim Kardashian wants to be mayor of Glendale in 5 years. Apr 19, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #5
Topics Include: George Zimmerman donations, Oklahoma shootings, Supreme Court and California prisoners getting free health care, Santorum bows out, Allen West says tanning salon tax racist, Ozzie Guillen, Tebow Easter services, Bubba Watson wins Masters, Taxes Americans support, homophobes are secretly gay, Sony asks excutives to return bonuses BEFORE laying off 10,000, Mike Wallace passed away. Apr 13, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #3
Topics Include:
Trevon Martin
Hoodies
Supreme Court
Cheney's new heart
NFL Scandal
Tebow to the Jets
Magic Johnson owns the Dodgers
Tiger Woods
Hunger Games racism
Jet Blue pilot goes nuts Mar 30, 2012

Who's Paying Attention? #2
Topics Include: George Zimmerman, March Madness, Tim Tebow, Bill Maher, iPad and Hunger Games. Mar 27, 2012