overcome porn

Our natural tendency in addiction, betrayal trauma and current scary world events is to attempt to INCREASE the CONTROL we have over our lives! This is exactly the OPPOSITE of what we truly need in recovery and in life.

In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about exactly HOW to "SURRENDER" trying to control things when you feel the most out-of-control!

Although it sounds like a total contradiction of oxymoron—the BEST way for you and those you love to succeed, connect and WIN in these crazy, uncertain times is to PRACTICE THE ART OF SURRENDER!

Visit the PBSE website at:  pbsepodcast.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at:  Reclaim Counseling Services

To learn more about HOW to use Surrender and other tools to Overcome Porn Addiction, check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/post/how-can-i-stop-watching-porn

If you're a spouse struggling with NOT being consumed by your husband's porn addiction, this might help—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/his-porn-addiction-not-your-fault

A big part of Surrender in Marriage is letting go of Secrets!—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/no-more-secrets-in-your-marriage

When it comes to sexual behaviors, we live in a world where there is a very broad spectrum about what people consider to be "healthy" and "not healthy." In this podcast, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about their personal experience with this and working with men across the globe. You'll learn—

• Can "sex" become an addiction? 
• What are the levels on the path to sex addiction—
  • Curiosity
  • Recreation
  • Self-soothing
  • Obsession
  • Compulsion
  • Addiction
• There are MANY ways to "act out sexually"--Here are some examples
• How can you tell is your sexual behaviors are a significant PROBLEM—
  • You are sacrificing the people and things you care about
  • Self-medicating vs. facing your issues
  • Disconnecting from others vs. TRUE CONNECTION
  • Connecting vs. Fantasy vs. Reality
  • "What's in it for me" vs. REAL LOVE

Assignment:  Do a "pros and cons list" regarding your current sexual behaviors

Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com 

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

Here's an infographic that can help you determine if you're addicted to porn—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/are-you-addicted-to-porn

Here's a cool article talking about how Pornography use can turn into a "Drug Addiction"—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/is-pornography-a-drug-addiction

Everyone who gets trapped in porn addiction struggles with the "big mystery"--why do I keep going back to this crap? Why can't I just say 'NO!' once and for all?" The reason is that pornography radically changes the brain. In this episode you'll learn:

• After viewing porn and reaching climax, the viewer often pounds his fist on the table and asks, "What was I thinking?!"  The answer—"You weren't AND you COULDN'T!"
• What is the "Addiction Cycle"?--Initiating Trigger; Preoccupation; Ritualizing; Acting Out; Pain/Remorse (blood oaths)
• You get pulled into the "Porn Funnel" through "BLHASTed" feelings; massive waves of powerful neurochemicals release; all logic, reasoning, caring and consequences are BLOCKED out; the bottom of the Funnel is the Dialogue from Hell--"What was I thinking?!!!"
• Half the battle of breaking free from porn is in becoming knowledgable, aware and MINDFUL of exactly HOW porn changes your brain and HOW you can interrupt that process!

Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com 

Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

For more on the Brain Science of Porn and Sex Addiction, check out this article—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/brain-science-porn-sex-addiction

To view a cool video about "your brain on porn," visit this link—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/your-brain-on-porn

There's a big debate about what is pornographic and what is not. In this episode, Mark and Steve talk raw and real about how defining "porn"—it's less about what's being taken in, and more about the impact it's having on the viewer and others. 

• To the brain "meaning" is everything! It's all about your INTENTIONS.
• Parts vs. People
• Something to be consumed vs. someone to be valued
• Emotional isolation and disconnection

What to DO:  Use mindfulness journaling to assess your levels of fantasy and lust on a daily basis. What impact is this having on you being "fully present" with real life and real people? Are you more connected or more isolated as a result of your porn use?

Visit the PBSE website at: pbsepodcast.com 
Find out more about Steve Moore at:  Ascension Counseling  
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

How do you know if you're addicted to porn? Check out this infographic—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/are-you-addicted-to-porn

How can you overcome porn addiction? Here's an article that can help—https://www.reclaimcounselingservices.com/overcome-porn-sex-addiction