people-pleaser

Have you ever wondered why people-pleasing and perfectionism often go hand in hand? Do you often find yourself struggling with being both a people-pleaser and a perfectionist? Well, you're not alone, my friend.

In this episode of TheFemmeCast, I spill the tea on my personal journey of breaking free from the chains of people-pleasing and perfectionism. 

Let me tell you, being a perfectionist and a people-pleaser is not sexy at all. I used to take pride in my perfectionism, thinking it was something to be proud of. But boy, was I wrong! My perfectionism was just another form of people-pleasing, and it held me back in so many ways. I set the most impossible standards for myself, and would almost always lead me into a spiral of negative thoughts and feelings when I didn't meet them.

But fear not, my friend! I'm here to tell you that embracing imperfection is the key to breaking free from people-pleasing and perfectionism. It's time to let go of the expectation of perfection and embrace the messiness of life. Waiting for perfection is like waiting for a unicorn to show up at your doorstep. It's not gonna happen! So start living your best life now, even if it is a hot mess, and remind yourself that your best is enough.

Breaking free from people-pleasing and perfectionism is a process. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to embrace imperfection. But trust me, it's worth it! So, let’s dive in and help you to do just that, all while mastering the art of radical self love and acceptance. So that you too can start living your best hot mess life today. 

Let’s do this. 

Ready to dive deeper with me?

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Remember. Love yourself the way you want to be loved, and I promise you, you will be 🤍

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In Episode 24 of the Bible Unmasked, Elizabeth and Dexter Thomas use the book of Galatians to offer advice for healing and finding freedom from being a control freak. 

Date: June 26, 2022

Tags: #psdatv #BibleUnmasked #Galatians #Paul #courageous #vulnerable #legalistic #people-pleaser #creed #law #save #lost #liberated #God #healing #control #freedom #self-worth #self-esteem

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What is stopping you from loving life and letting your light shine? 

Lisa has been an Alberta girl for her whole life. She is the oldest of four siblings which installed personality traits within her. Lisa was a person pleaser and put a lot of pressure on herself to do what was right. After a while her perspective shifted and she started focussing on what she thinks about herself instead of what everyone else thought.

During her first year of University she travelled to Germany and all around Europe. Lisa got married at 25 and started her family. She already had her career in finance since she was 20. From a young age she knew that she hated having a boss. She recognized that she didn't want to have a corporate job. She took marketing at Mount Royal University in Calgary and knew she wanted to be a financial planner. Later she decided she wanted to make more money so she dipped her toe in real estate.

Lisa has dealt with Mom guilt and shame as she was not a mom that was your typical stay at home mom. She also touches on some of the struggles of having kids but also what a beautiful blessing they are. She talks about her divorce and how looking back she realizes that you need to find a person who wants to grow with you. She lives a life of no regrets. Lisa talks about this checklist she made for herself. This checklist was to go to school, have a career, get married, have kids, have a house, have cars, etc.   Once she achieved all that she didn't know what her next step was. 

Lisa learns to love who she is, love where she's been, and love where she's going. She has always been interested in finances from a really young age. Lisa encourages others to know what they want and she helps others create financial plans that align with your goals and your life. Lisa addresses the role fear plays and talks about stepping into the unknown and living a life you love. 

If you want to get in touch with Lisa or learn more about her you can contact her on Instagram @lisa_elle or her website https://ellementsgroup.com/ ! 

Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, and TIK TOk ! If you have a story you would like to share with the world!

Sending love and joy your way!

Selina Novello

When we attempt to fix, rescue, protect and buffer others from the negative consequences of their own lives, we're not helping. In fact, we may very well be making things worse. We're definitely making things worse for *ourselves* by draining our energy supply so we don't have anything left for ourselves. I talk through a couple of examples from my own life - one where I was being helpful to be controlling, and the other where I was able to see how NOT stepping in to rescue made the situation much better rather than worse.

Here's the link to my membership community, Secure, Loved & Brave that I mentioned in the episode: https://higherpowercc.com/membership/

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Today’s episode of Expanded is all about two themes that most of us navigate every day: perfectionism and people pleasing! These are two common forms of programming, and they’re deeply intertwined with the manifestation process. Our host Jessica Gill is joined by TBM Coach Salwa Kyobe to go over the energetics behind them with some teachings from Lacy as well!

They cover how to recognize perfectionist and people-pleasing tendencies in yourself, where you picked them up, and most importantly how to reprogram those blocks. This episode is such a great reminder to not put your self-worth in the hands of others, and to give yourself the space to be your most authentic self!

Find the Complete Show Notes Here -> https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast

In This Episode We Talk About:

• A Motivational Manifestation story from a Pathway member!
• The definitions of perfectionism and people-pleasing, how they relate to manifestation
• Perfectionism vs. healthy self-improvement
• The danger of putting validation in the opinions of others
• Reprogramming the “badge of honor” energetic of perfectionism
• How race plays into these themes and trying to project a perfect image
• Life paralysis and fear of failure
• Why we people please and how to reprogram it
• How childhood memories can affect you today
• Growing and learning through difficult experiences
• The magnetic power of saying “No” and setting boundaries

Resources: 

• The Pathway 2.0 - (12-month commitment) - Looking To Start Your Membership? Use code EXPANDED for $20 off your first month of the Pathway 2.0 or $20 off any 2.0 ala carte
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In The Episode: 

• The Motivation Story - The Perfect Job After Passing Three Tests
• The Motivation
• Uplevel Workshop
• Unblocked Inner Child 
• Unblocked Shadow 
• Unblocked Full Moon
• Unblocked Money
• Reinforcing Grace and Confidence DI
• Reinforcing Deservingness & Abundance DI (Formerly Uplevel Reinforcing DI)
• The Gifts of Imperfection - Brené Brown

• Seed Probiotics - 15% off with code TBM15
  • Daily Synbiotic 

• BLUblox Website - 15% off with code MAGNETIC
  • Sleep+ Glasses
  • BluLite Computer Glasses
  • Expanded Ep 72 x Andy Mant of BLUblox
  • Expanded Ep. 36 x Andy Mant BLUblox

Where To Find Us!

• @tobemagnetic
• @jessicaashleygill
• @salwa.yazmin
• Book a coaching session with Salwa!

Our Offerings:

Looking To Start Your Membership? - Use code EXPANDED for $20 off your first month of The Pathway or $20 off any a la carte workshop.

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Do you sometimes find yourself replying to work emails late at night... from bed? Or maybe taking on another task that, almost as soon as you've agreed, you realize you don't actually have time for? 

Often, instead of behaving as if we’re exchanging our intellect, talent, and skills for money, we feel like whoever pays us owns us. And this is where trouble starts.

In today's episode Natalie Lue will help you understand why you might be struggling with boundaries at work, and what you can do to start changing these unhealthy patterns. 

This episode was recorded with a live audience in April 2021, and in the second part you will hear Natalie answer questions about dealing with anxiety, expectations and re-learning how to socialize in the workplace.

Natalie is a speaker, author and podcast host around all things emotional baggage, and you can find the Shortcast of her show The Baggage Reclaim Sessions in the Blinkist App.
You can try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/simplify [1], tapping on Try Blinkist at the top right, and entering the code BOUNDARIES.

Books recommended by Ben and Caitlin:

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Amelia Nagoski and Emily Nagoski
• When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, by Gabor Maté
• Professional Troublemaker: The Fear-Fighter Manual, by Luvvie Ajayi Jones

You can find Natalie's online course Reclaim Your Work Boundaries here: https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaim-your-work-boundaries-online-course/ [2]

Let us know what you thought of this episode, or just come say hi on Twitter! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller [3], Ben at @bsto https://twitter.com/bsto [4]

Simplify is produced by Caitlin Schiller, Ben Schuman-Stoler and Marta Medvešek. Big thanks to Luiza S. Carvalho for audio engineering chops, Odysseas Constantinou for music, and a special thanks to Chisanga and Evrim for their great questions!

[1]: https://www.blinkist.com/simplify
[2] https://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/reclaim-your-work-boundaries-online-course/
[3]: https://twitter.com/caitlinschiller
[4]: https://twitter.com/bsto

Do you go out of your way to please the people in your life? I’m guessing you do. You probably make excuses for why you need to do it too – but don’t feel bad because we all do it.

Today’s episode dives into how to stop people-pleasing and confidently prioritize your needs. You’ll get to discover why mothers often feel the need to prioritize others’ wants and needs above theirs, how we’re paying the price with food and our bodies, and steps you can take to confidently stop people-pleasing. 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Grab your FREE People-Pleasing Detox Guide at www.oliveandbliss.ca/ep19
Sign up for a FREE People-pleasing Detox Workshop at www.oliveandbliss.ca/peoplepleasing

Let’s connect on Social Media @oliveanbdlisswellness. Our podcast hashtag is #TTMP

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If you want more of what you heard in this episode, you'll love working with me. Check out all the details and get started at https://www.oliveandbliss.ca/

Podcast Info

• A new podcast episode drops every Monday.
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CITATIONS FOR TODAY'S EPISODE

• Conformity. (n.d.). Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/conformity
• Edwards, V. V. (2020, June 20). 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Start Doing You. Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://www.scienceofpeople.com/people-pleaser/
• Ever-So-Slight Delay Improves Decision-Making Accuracy. (2014, March 07). Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://www.cuimc.columbia.edu/news/ever-so-slight-delay-improves-decision-making-accuracy?utm_source=rss
• How to Stop Being a People Pleaser. (2018, April 12). Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hYTPl7MkiA
• Mcleod, S. (2016). What is Conformity? Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://www.simplypsychology.org/conformity.html
• Tartakovsky, M., M.S. (2018, October 08). 21 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser. Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/lib/21-tips-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/
• Seltzer, L. (2008, July 27). From Parent-Pleasing to People-Pleasing (Part 3 of 3). Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/parent-pleasing-people-pleasing-part-3-3
• Wilding, M., LMSW. (2018, July 08). 4 Steps to Stop Seeking Approval from Others. Retrieved November 03, 2020, from https://psychcentral.com/blog/4-steps-to-stop-seeking-approval-from-others/

I didn't even know I was a people-pleaser, I thought I was nice. It turns out people-pleasing isn't nice, it's dishonest and manipulative. Ugh! But there's hope! I talk about how I got over my people-pleasing ways and you can too. You can learn to be honest about what you really think and feel, and to communicate directly about those things without manipulating.

★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Today we're talking people-pleasers, well, recovering people-pleasers that is. We sit down with Self-Care Coach, Carley Schweet to talk about how she went from being a yes-woman, to a woman with boundaries. Carley started her career in the corporate fashion industry in New York City and was often the yes-woman that the corporate world and her job wanted her to be. She was afraid to say no and afraid to hurt others' feelings. After years of people-pleasing, Carley decided enough was enough and she quit her job and enrolled at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to become an IIN Health Coach.

Her self-care practice helped her gain more confidence to create boundaries and make her needs a priority. On today's episode, we talk about: 

• People-pleasing and why we feel the need to say yes so often
• What it means to be a recovering people-pleaser
• How self-care can boost your confidence
• Why it's important to create boundaries 

You can learn more about Carley and work with her by visiting her website, and you can follow her on Instagram to learn more about self-care coaching and setting boundaries.