The Great Wall & Meekah
A real mongrel of a show this week starting out with the third thing you think about whenever the island of Jersey is mentioned after millionaire tax dodgers and Henry Cavill which is of course cows. Let’s hope you know your Ox from your Buffalo as we chew the filmic cud whatever that means.
Zhang Yimou is a Chinese director who first caught my attention when I was going through a Jet Li phase with HERO and then again with 2005's HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS and I remember enjoying his mix of historical fiction and martial arts so when Netflix suggested I watch 2016's THE GREAT WALL I thought why not. Well the people who would tell you why not would point to Matt Damon's laughable Irish accent, lack of chemistry with sidekick Pedro Pascal and a plot where the climax is one of those endless horde of CGI monsters swarming a tower while our heroes demonstrate some improbable skill type deals. Of course, if you are unfailingly optimistically forgivable and don't mind those tropes like me and enjoy Zhang's artistic trademarks like soldiers in detailed and colourful armour arranged in formation, flying arrows etc. combined with a swords and sandals style script and big blockbuster special effects then you might just enjoy it but it's safe to say the general conclusion from the Dads was that this was cinematic bilge.
Former shock video maker Stevin John who once filmed himself stood on a toilet backwards and defecating on a friend while naked and wearing a bicycle helmet's cynical kids advertising construct BLIPPI has a new friend this week with spin-off to the Blippiverse MEEKAH. Similarly exploitative, empty-calorie style product, lacking any educational or artistic value and featuring a brightly dressed moron with an almost psychopathic sense of charm and wonder engaging in some of the most mundane activities you've ever seen. Complete garbage, the human race is worse for having created it.
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Until next time, we remain...
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