regretfullyyours

Regretfully Yours (Part 2) 

The Four Categories of Regret from part 1 are:

1. Foundational Regrets - “If only I had more…”

2. Boldness Regrets - “If only took a risk …”

3. Moral Regret - “If I had that decision back I would have…”

4. Connection Regrets - “If I would have stayed connected to…”

 

How to Respond to Regret:

1. Be Aware of it (this is what the first podcast was dedicated to)

• Identify them in detail
• Explore why we have them.
• The keys to awareness

2. Express it - Do not deny regrets but express them with a select few trusted confidants.

Disclosing our regrets. Be vulnerable for it:

• Releases some of the burden
• Begins making sense of the process when we begin to articulate
• Creates bonds to others who can relate and empathize. Eliminate isolation for regret grows in isolation.

3.  Embrace it - Make it matter because it does.

• To flippantly let on it doesn’t mean anything is a sure way to have it hang around. 

• We can’t transcend something we don’t embrace.

• Feel the pain but don’t let it turn to shame, acknowledge the hurt but don't let it turn into guilt.
• When we embrace it we can learn to embrace ourselves with self compassion, self- kindness and self-acceptance knowing that we are good men capable of doing things we may regret.

4. Transform it - renew it, reshape it, remold it, redo it, reconstruct it, rebuild it, recast it, reorder it, reframe it, reorganize it, restyle it.  Just ‘re’ it.

• Turn a bad decision into good data.
• Turn a bad decision of something we did into a healthy expression of who we really are.

 

The Benefits of Regret:

1. Sharpens our decision making skills for the future. “I won’t do that again”

2. Secures our performance on a range of tasks. The more we do the more we get to do but if we let our regrets of the past hold us back we won’t try things which by the way  is one of the four categories of regrets. Don’t measure our worth based on our performance but based on our character. As we often say in AMG. “You are a good man”

3.  Strengthens our sense of meaning and connectedness.  We realize that we all are strugglers. I am a fellow struggle with every other human struggler on the planet.  We are all just trying to find our way and sometimes that way is found through regret.

4. Shows us what we really want in that if we did the opposite of what we regret we would have a sense of fulfillment.  The camera negative

 

We encourage you to talk about your regrets openly and find the freedom of vulnerability and authenticity.

Regret is one of our most powerful feelings and regrettably one of the most misunderstood.

Regret covers a myriad of circumstances from wishing we would have eaten oatmeal instead of the cinnamon danish this morning for breakfast to feeling remorse for not telling a loved one how much we loved them before they died.

The Four Categories of Regret:

1. Foundational Regrets - did not make choices that give enough stability and security

Not saving enough money or not paying attention to health.

“If only I had more…”

2. Boldness Regrets - did not take a chance on doing something I should have

Starting a business, not asking someone out, not speaking up

“If only took a risk …”

People who took risks and failed still were glad they took the risk because it taught them something

3. Moral Regret - did something they should not have or did not do something they should have

Affairs, bullying, stealing, cheating

“If I had that decision back I would have…”

4. Connection Regrets - did not stay in touch and as a result we drifted apart.

Disassociated with family and/or friends

“If I would have stayed connected to…”

It is not too late to reach out and awkwardness is most often rewarding to those who take the initiative.