Repairing Self-Abandonment: Anxious Attachment, Healthy Boundaries, and Creating Strong Relationships
On today’s episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore self-abandonment, which occurs when we go against our authentic wants, emotions, and boundaries in order to serve others, meet external expectations, or protect ourselves emotionally. They cover where self-abandonment comes from, the psychological function it serves, and the relationship between self-abandonment and similar concepts like anxious attachment, low self-worth, and external referencing. You’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries, stop neglecting yourself, and become more secure from the inside out.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Common features of self-abandonment
12:30: Facing the fear of our authentic self being seen
16:05: Facing shame and self-criticism
21:00: Self-referencing vs. referencing ourselves in relation to others
33:10: The belief that safety feels more critical than authenticity
40:55: Our relationship to nature, and joining with the defense
50:55: Relationships, openness to change, and bringing parts into awareness
55:20: Cognitive restructuring, and redefining our self-abandoning beliefs
58:50: Recap
Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.
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