Money is a major source of stress for so many people. We’re always thinking about it, talking about it, and worrying about it. But it’s rare that we think about the way that money affects our sexual relationships. Listen in to our conversation with Master Certified Ontological Coach, Tracey Burns, as we navigate through the seldom-discussed dynamic of money and sex. We delve into how money's influence extends far beyond the wallet and into the heart. We illuminate the challenges and opportunities that arise when navigating income differences with a partner, emphasizing the importance of open, honest conversations about finances.

Today, Tracey is a renowned coach, speaker, and advocate for financial wellness in relationships.

[00:00:00] Introduction to the Episode: Tracey discusses the impact of financial disparities on relationships and introduces the main themes of the conversation.

[00:00:34] The Relationship Escalator: Michelle talks about the dynamics she observes in couples regarding financial discussions and moving in together.

[01:03] Money and Shame: Tracey delves into how money conversations can be laden with shame and how to approach them.

[01:20] Sex, Money, and Society's Expectations: The relationship between sex, money, and societal pressures is explored, with insights on how these aspects influence each other.

[02:11] Ontological Coaching and Money Dynamics: Tracey explains ontological coaching and its application to understanding personal relationships with money.

[03:06] Using Money Conversations to Enhance Relationships: Discussion on how transparent conversations about finances can actually improve intimacy and relationship satisfaction.

[04:05] The Conversation with Tracey Burns: Michelle introduces her guest, Tracey Burns, for a deep dive into the nuances of money and relationships.

[06:01] Unpacking Financial Discrepancies in Partnerships: Tracey provides insights on how couples can navigate differences in income and financial management.

[07:40] Expectations vs. Reality in Financial Contributions: The discussion turns to managing expectations around financial contributions and understanding each other's financial standing.

[09:07] Adapting to Changes in Financial Dynamics: Strategies for couples to support each other through financial ups and downs.

[13:56] Unlearning Sexual Shame: Michelle introduces an online module aimed at addressing sexual shame and its ties to financial well-being.

[14:35] Emotional Infidelity and Financial Secrets: Tracey and Michelle discuss the parallels between discovering financial secrets and emotional infidelity.

[24:05] Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Tracey: The episode wraps up with final thoughts on money, relationships, and how to connect with Tracey Burns for more insights.

S4 Episode 11: Your Instinct is Your Best Friend: Listen to it

Episode Summary

Mother Nature gifted you with an internal voice which serves only one purpose: to keep you alive.  When it comes to romantic relationships, we tend to ignore this warning system, especially if it is in opposition to our wants and needs.  By rejecting your own internal boundaries, you place yourself in situations that often create physical and emotional discomfort.

A Romancipated individual understands that our instinct is there to help us with difficult and emotionally trying decisions.  Instead of ignoring or rejecting your gut, you need to embrace what your body and mind is telling you about a particular person, relationship or situation.

Trusting your instinct can make you a better partner, help you define your boundaries, advocate for yourself and save you physical pain or emotional hurt.  It helps guide you through the ups and downs of a romantic partnership.  Your instinct is your ally, do not discount what it has to offer in helping you attain the happiness you desire. 

At the end of each episode, Marlee and Lis vent about commonly experienced issues in romantic relationships. In this episode, the ladies discuss when men don’t want to learn how to properly sexually satisfy their female partner.

Show Notes

Are you ignoring what your gut is telling you? In your relationship, you shouldn’t be. Nature has given you this instinct to help you with self-preservation. It’s a natural part of the human experience, and it should be respected. Your gut feeling will let you know when something doesn’t feel right or feel safe.

Never ignore your inner voice. It could always help you in small ways, like saving you from emotional pain or frustration. But it can truly be resourceful in bigger ways—for example, saving your life. Trust yourself and the way your body reacts to certain situations.

Self-preservation is at the core of Romancipation. Your instincts will help you define your boundaries because they signal to you what makes you comfortable or uncomfortable. Your instinct is your protector, as it will let you know if your person has an unhealthy dominance or control over you. 

An inner voice will tell you when something in your relationship isn’t right, whether that’s something that jeopardizes your mental, emotional, financial, or physical health. That said, trusting your gut can only help you in functional and non-functional relationships. Pay attention to the cues your gut instincts are screaming at you.

In this episode, the vent session topic is: When men don’t want to learn how to sexually satisfy a woman. It’s selfish to always think of your own pleasure first. It doesn’t respect the woman as an intimate life partner. It makes the man come across as immature and signals a power imbalance in the relationship. It destroys the possibility of intimacy in a relationship.

Please make sure you subscribe to the podcast so you can receive notifications of new episodes right when they are released. Also, make sure to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

Visit us at www.romancipation.com

In this episode, Karol discusses a study on the happiness of conservative religious couples and their relationship with their children. She then interviews Dr. Gad Saad, an evolutionary behavioral scientist, who discusses his book "The Saad Truth About Happiness: Eight Secrets for Leading the Good Life." Dr. Saad talks about parasitic thinking, immigration policies, the importance of shared values in a relationship, and living an authentic life to avoid future regrets. He also shares his views on success and offers advice on how to improve one's life. The Karol Markowicz Show is part of the Clay Travis & Buck Sexton Podcast Network - new episodes debut every Monday & Thursday.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Guess what? Even 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' missed the mark on Orthodox Jewish sex! I've got Shely Esses on the show today—a Sex Therapist from Toronto, Canada. With her expertise in Jewish healing, she's here to bust myths and shine a light on the cultural nuances surrounding intimacy within the Orthodox Jewish community. Let's shtup in!

Show Notes

[00:00:00] Shely explains Judaism's sex-positive perspective: Emphasis on marital context for sexual activity.

[00:00:38] Jewish Myths Debunked: The "sheet with a hole" myth from Curb Your Enthusiasm and its origins linked to tzitzit - a traditional Jewish garment.

[00:01:50] Orthodox Jewish Marital Practices: Emphasizes on sexual satisfaction in marital agreements, the importance of physical intimacy, and the varying levels of observance and practice.

[00:03:26] Relationship with Local Orthodox Rabbis: Insights into personal connections, guidance, and the role of Yoetzet – female advisors.

[00:03:54] Mikveh and its Significance: Explores the role of menstrual blood in religious purity, and emphasizes on self-care, rejuvenation, and marital intimacy.

[00:07:21] Addressing Sexual Challenges: Approaches to tackle challenges like low desire and painful penetration, the importance of communication, techniques like dilator work, Sensate Focus, and the role of body image and sexual self-esteem.

[00:10:49] Premarital Counseling in the Jewish Community: Combines religious teachings with modern sexual health approaches while emphasizing pleasure and intimacy.

[00:12:33] Sexuality & Jewish Traditions: Highlights the significance of Shabbat in marital intimacy and the role of traditions in guiding sexual practices.

[00:13:27] Birth Control & Hasidic Community: Navigates the balance between religious beliefs and personal choices, and highlights the importance of rabbinical guidance and personal well-being.

[00:14:54] Addressing apprehensions around first-time intercourse.

[00:15:19] Shely's resources and methods:

• Recommends website OMGYES.
• Describes orgasms with the metaphor of waves.
• Discusses the importance of understanding the nervous system.

[00:15:51] Cultural insights: The significance of post-marriage intercourse in the Jewish tradition.

[00:16:12] The long-term approach to intimacy: Insights on grounding oneself before intimacy, differentiating between calmness and boredom, and advocating for meditation before sex.

[00:17:03] Michelle's input: Points out the resistance against integrating mindfulness and introduces Lori Brotto's workbook.

[00:17:24] Shely on dealing with trauma: Introduces the ventral vagal anchor technique as well as planning sex.

[00:17:48] Scheduled vs. spontaneous intimacy: Discusses the concept of Mikvah Night and addresses misconceptions about spontaneity in intimacy.

[00:18:16] Embracing terminology with confidence: Encourages understanding and confidently using terms related to sexual health and anatomy.

[00:18:49] Michelle's question on addressing shame: Shely emphasizes seeking sex therapy, particularly from professionals familiar with Jewish traditions.

[00:19:25] Resources: Dive into sex-positive aspects of Judaism with recommended readings like works by Dr. Ruth and The Kosher Kama Sutra by Shmuley Boteach.

[00:19:52] Closing remarks: Expresses gratitude to Shely for her invaluable insights and contributions.

Production Credits: katie@vocalfrystudios

About Shely:

Shely Esses RP (Qualifying) holds a marriage and family therapy (MFT) graduate degree from Iona University and currently resides in Toronto, Canada.

Shely is guided by a systemic lens, a way of seeing you as an individual with interpersonal and wider-world impacts on your life. She is passionate about helping people feel comfortable in their own skin. She is delighted to help individuals, couples, and families find balance and healing in their lives.

She is knowledgeable about the Orthodox community, ensuring clients feel understood halachically while discussing mental and physical health. She is also skilled at helping clients with pre-and post-marriage halachot.

Shely focuses on helping clients experiencing discomfort or anxiety about their sexual self-esteem, self-worth, and relationships. She is particularly interested in working with often overlooked or underserved communities, such as those in conservative religious minority groups and people in alternative relationships. Shely is skilled at weaving together practical and holistic techniques to promote nervous system regulation & deep mindfulness. 

Resources For Professionals:

1) Heavenly Sex: sexuality and the Jewish Tradition Dr Ruth & Jonathan Mark

2) The kosher Sutra: Eight Sacred Secrets for Reigniting Desire and Restoring Passion for Life by Rabbi Shmuleyu Boteach

3) Kabbalah and Sex Magic By Marla Segol

Podcast: Intimate Judaism with Talli Rosenbaum and Rabbi Scott Kahn

Fun reads: I will watch you: four short tales of Jewish love and Lust by Shoshana Pearl

Classes Taught by Shely: 3 CEs available! https://modernsextherapyinstitutes.com/product/sex-intimacy-and-connection-through-the-lens-of-the-sefirot-10-emanations-from-jewish-mysticism-3-ces-2023/

Disclaimer
 

On this week’s episode, Christine and Shannon discuss Christine’s UCONN research regarding sexuality, wellness, and the relationship between sexual satisfaction and life satisfaction.

References
Shere Hite – The Hite Report 

Follow us on social @sexeddebunked or send us a message at sexeddebunked@gmail.com

On this week's episode, Christine and Shannon talk about what it means to be "sex positive" and some of the misconceptions around the term. In fact, being sex positive is less about "having sex," and much more about having a healthy, positive understanding of yourself and your body, and what will make you feel safe and satisfied.

References
What does "sex positive" mean?
NYT article on sex positivity & anti-feminism
Sex Positive Parenting 

Follow us on social @sexeddebunked or send us a message at sexeddebunked@gmail.com

It's story time y'all! I made someone uncomfortable, but what's new? 

Sexual dissatisfaction is one of the most common things people come to me about.  It breaks my heart knowing that there are so many couples whose sexual needs aren't being met because they don't have the tools or confidence to ask for what they desire.

This week I'm coming at ya with a solo episode to talk about how to improve sexual intimacy with your partner and get that good dose of fucking you've been craving.

Go get it!

Time Code: [ 13:35] 

Let's Get Social!
IG  @BriannaEndrina / Twitter  @BriannaEndrina / Facebook. @BriannaEndrina

I have partnered with a company called TheBiggerO! They are the inclusive, woman-friendly online sex shop you always wished existed. And now it does! It's not necessarily about reaching the biggest O! But rather all of the different ways you can honor, enjoy and enhance your pleasure. It’s sexual exploration without judgment. Because I think we can all agree that sex and shame, don't belong together. The Bigger O! offers pleasure essentials for all genders, to use alone or with a partner. 

Head over to TheBiggerO.com and snag one or 10 of their amazing products from some of the most innovative names in the sex tech game to enhance your play and use coupon code BRE10 at checkout for 10% off. 

The emphasis is YOUR PLEASURE. Let's explore together...

Are you still part of the dating pool? Want a new way to meet? Head over to TheBlinkDate.com and join their waitlist for their audio only blind speed dating. 

Acupuncture is great for sexual function, but to address the underlying mechanics of consistently great sex, the key is diet. For this reason, she works with patients to develop dietary habits that support their sexual goals.

Christine attended the University of Rochester, studying Biology and Psychology. As a young single mom, she worked as a waitress and studied full-time. She was trained to be a research scientist but ultimately decided against a career in research. The experience, though, gave her an appreciation for the scientific method, which is employed throughout this book. She has exhaustively reviewed epidemiological and clinical research on nutrition and sexual function to shape the advice presented here.

Christine holds Master’s degrees in Acupuncture, Traditional Chinese Medicine, and Counseling. During her education, she studied Chinese dietary therapy and earned a certification as a Holistic Nutritional Counselor.

Early in her practice, she treated numerous men for erectile issues with acupuncture, who ended up having significant improvements in sexual satisfaction. After seeing how meaningful this improvement was to their lives, she specialized in sexual health, expanding her practise to all who seek it. She wanted to do more to help them connect with their partners and bring joy to their relationships. Since then she has treated adults looking to have great sex of all orientations.

Always rather obsessed with diet, nutrition, and natural health, Christine’s philosophy is rooted in an evidence-based understanding of the physiological effect of food on the body, while honoring the wisdom of traditional Chinese medicine. She treats every patient holistically, as an individual and wishes to use her unique skill set to help others in a kind, loving way.

Learn more about Christine at  www.christinedelozier.com

Purchase DIET FOR GREAT SEX HERE

Alexandra Fine and Janet Lieberman join Guy's Guy Radio. The duo made history when their next generation vibrator, "Eva" became the most highly-funded adult product in the history of online crowdfunding, and was named Indiegogo’s top campaign run by an all-female team. Together, the two are changing the natural conversation about sex with their blunt, honest, no-nonsense approach, and are aiming to empower women everywhere to speak up about their desires and preferences.

Got a question for Robert, Alex or Janet? Call in to the show at (347)-945-5834.

Join Robert Manni, author of The Guys' Guy's Guide To Love as we discuss life, love and the pursuit of happiness.

Subscribe to Guy's Guy Radio on iTunes!

Buy The Guys' Guy's Guide to Love now!