Episode 46: Thanks for Robbing My Uncle's Grave
Photo of Lauren and Danielle In Mount Hope Cemetery by Troy, 2023
This is a surprisingly family-friendly side campaign lead by Troy in the land that we started calling Frandor after a nearby shopping mall, which borders on Eastwood Towne Center (also a mall) and Dimondale (a nearby town if you are in the greater Lansing area). We were joined by special guest Nataleigh and new player John.
Enjoy!
Table of Contents:
1. Are any of the Medawar Jewelers people evil-stepmother material? (Consensus: we don’t think so…)
2. Well, the big developers must be evil.
3. By the way, Bianca’s father is the guy that used to do the IngCredible (local Chinese restaurant chain) commercials.
4. Our mission: a grave-robbing heist!
5. “We’re digging up my uncle’s corpse tonight!”
6. Sammy is Toriki, the halfling trickster domain cleric
7. Nataleigh is Mimi, a goliath bard, and she’s on the team because she’s awesome.
8. Danielle is Hubert Featherfoot, a centaur barbarian who’s looking to start his own herd once he meets a fine filly.
9. Michael is Kyle, whose bird friends sent him here to make sure the trees are okay.
10. John is Thale, a tiefling warlock. “I cast things into darkness!”
11. “I could try to make friends with the dire wolf?”
12. Toriki casts Pass Without a Trace on the group.
13. So, are we just, like, climbing over the wall, then?
14. “Why couldn’t a wolf smell their dad’s dead friend?”
15. “I have a negative intelligence, I would still kick them open.”
16. Thale casts Dispel Magic on the first crypt.
17. Oh crap, it’s Lewis! Well, since we’re here…
18. Hubert gets excited and kicks a tomb open without disabling the glyph.
19. The good news is that you found Solomon. The bad news is that you also summoned a Diamond Golum.
20. “I’m just gonna loot.”
21. Mimi takes Solomon’s corpse and starts running for the gate with Bianca.
22. Roll for initiative!
23. Hubert uses his bonus action to cast Rage with Wild Surge.
24. Run, Kyle, Run!
25. Thale uses Ray of Enfeeblement and heads for the door.
26. Kyles uses Wish to send the Diamond Golum to the Iron Dragon at Cedar Point.
27. Toriki casts Spare the Dying on Kyle.
28. Wait! Erase all that! That’s not how Wish works…
29. Everyone who is outside does a Dexterity check to make sure the Dire Wolf doesn’t see you.
30. Hubert decides he doesn’t want to get frozen again and runs out while Toriki and Kyle open Roberto March’s crypt.
31. Bianca tries to make friends with the dire wolf.
32. Toriki channels divinity: cast duplicity and creates a stunt double for herself.
33. Kyle focuses on keeping the Diamond Gollum on the Iron Dragon, and Thale uses Enthrall to basically turn one of the goblins and the dire wolf into Shaggy and Scoob, while the others continue their escape.
34. The unenthralled goblins shoot their crossbows at Kyle, Toriki, and Thale.
35. Bianca turns into an owl and flies over the wall.
36. Turns out Toriki’s Spiritual Weapon is more like a pool noodle than a sword.
37. Kyle breaks his concentration to cast Thorn Whip against one of the goblins.
38. Thale uses his enthralled goblin to attack one of the other goblins.
39. Bianca Revivifies Sal with a little kiss on the lips.
40. “Friends? That’s a loose term.”/”I mean, they did get to loot all those tombs…”
41. We’re not Marines…
42. Thale has his enthralled goblin attack another goblin.
43. “So, how does a balloon sword hit?”
44. The dire wolf would have attacked, except it rolled badly, so it was too busy chasing its own tail.
45. The Diamond Gollum Kool-aid man’s its way out the door.
46. Our escape chopper is a steampunk dirigible piloted by Dutch and Dillion (a.k.a. Arnold Schwarzeneggar and Carl Weathers from “Predator”).
47. Thale commands his enthralled goblin to distract the Gollum while he makes his escape with the dire wolf.
48. “Ice to see you!”
49. OMG, did we actually complete our mission for once?
Song: "Grave Robbing" by Lauren Clarke
