370: Savoring the Many Benefits of Being Single at Heart, my talk with author Dr. Bella DePaulo
"My mission in putting the single at heart on the map is to rewrite what it means to be single. Single life, to those of us who are single at heart, is a joyful place, a place to learn and grow. It is a big-hearted, expansive, meaningful life full of possibilities . . . intimacy, to us, is personal; in that domain as in all others, we follow our hearts rather than the cultural rulebooks. We chart our own life courses, with meaningfulness, psychological richness, and authenticity as our guide." —Dr. Bella DePaulo, author of Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life
Joining me on the podcast today is a guest who has courageously chosen to share that she thoroughly and unapologetically savors living a single life. The leading expert on single living, Dr. Bella DePaulo dispels the myths that pervade modern-day (and historic) cultures around the world when it comes to being single by looking at the research that is often cherry-picked and misleading as it speaks to in what type of relationship status one finds the most happiness. But most importantly, in her new book that was just released yesterday December 5th (2023), Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, she focuses on an abundance of findings that reveal the many benefits of living single. From improved health and deeper life satisfaction as we age.
Thankfully, so much of what is portrayed in media - films, books, television, pretty much everywhere - is not an accurate depiction of where and how happiness is found. By no means is Single at Heart an anti-marriage or anti-couple book, but rather a book that reveals that those of us who have chosen to be single, who find it far more fulfilling than being in a traditional couple, need only trust our inner compass to continue to choose the life that brings us fulfillment. As she points out, the world would be far more peaceful and content if we would trust what we know to be true of ourselves - those who wish to be in a couple would find people who truly wanted to be in a couple, and those who savored their single life would not feel forced to choose a life that was not nourishing.
Tune in to today's conversation where we will talk about the priority and value of freedom as well as benefits of solitude for the Single at Heart, and also speak to how those who are widows/widowers, as well as divorcees, can step into a new chapter of revelation about where and how joy can be cultivated. Dr. DePaulo discusses the importance of nurturing The Ones rather than just The One and reminds us that courageously saying we love our single life is what is needed to change the view that the culture errantly holds on to.
