slow relationships

We’re onto the last of our slow relationships episodes, and this week is all about new friends: where to find them and how to get from barely know each other to BFF, slowly. It’s all about taking the time, being intentional and paying attention, as well as discovering the joy of spending time with people based on what’s important to you rather than the situation you find yourself in (bye awkward office/school drop off chats, hi fellow slow living friends).

First up, Ben asks Brooke if, given last week’s episode all about maintaining existing friendships and the time it takes, as well as the effort involved in meeting new people, do we even need any more friends? Brooke says yes, and shares some of her own story and the challenges she has faced around friendships. In case you need convincing, she also highlights some of the benefits of friendships according to science. Including everything from improved self-esteem to reduction in stress and depression, it seems that finding like minded folk to while our days away with is worth the effort.

So how do we find these new friends? Brooke considers a few steps, and talks about the importance in shifting your attitude and being open in social situations. Think about the values you’re looking for in a new pal, and find ways to put yourself into a relevant community, whether IRL or online. The guys talk about a few ways to do this, as well as reminding us that not all friendships work out, and that’s OK. Brooke also shares some helpful strategies for introverts when meeting new people. In a beautiful full circle moment, it all comes back to active listening. Which brings us to the end!

We’ve loved hearing your thoughts and feedback on Instagram and Facebook about slow and relationships, so keep on sharing. Ben would also love your food recommendations for Dallas and Austin, so feel free to hit us up with those also.

To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/248/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post. 

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

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This week we’re continuing the relationships theme, looking at existing friendships: not only how to maintain them, but how to deepen them. There’s no question that as time goes on and big life milestones pass, friendships change and some fade. But one of the biggest things we stand to lose by living a busy, un-intentional life is the relationships that have the potential to be deep and life-long. How do we make sure we give these friendships our time and attention? And how do we talk about slow living with our pals? Let’s dive in.

Brooke and Ben kick off by sharing that, like any relationship, friendships are built on trust and time. So how can we ensure we commit to our people, even if we’re operating in different spheres, or don’t necessarily share the same values? They talk about some different ways you can talk to friends about slow living, including how to explain any impacts that the changes you’re making might have on them, and the importance of showing that you’re still there for them. If you value someone, bring them into what you’re doing without being forceful – invite them to where you are, and reciprocate the love and acceptance.

When it comes to those deep, true friendships, so many of us ask ourselves how we can take them to the next level, and have the deeper conversations beyond the everyday and superficial. Brooke shares some practical tips, and Ben shares his experience with this as a male. They finish by sharing some different ways you can spend time and build bonds with your buds, highlighting that it doesn’t have to be all deep & meaningful, teary conversations. Joy, creativity, play and shared projects all play a role in strengthening friendships.

As does telling your friends that you love them, and that you’re thinking of them. Which is this week’s action – reach out to a friend and tell them you appreciate them, and that they sprung to mind after listening to this episode. Then reach out to us: we’d love to hear your thoughts about this episode. How are you trying to bring more slow, depth and intention to your friendships? Comment on Facebook or Instagram and share the love.

To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/247/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post. And stay tuned for next week, when we’ll talk about making new friends!

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Annnnd we’re back. It’s the first week of July, and while we’re due for a Slow Experiment, thanks to book tour commitments and a tight travel schedule, Brooke and Ben are taking the pressure off. Instead, July will be a deep dive into bringing slow to relationships. Romantic, family and friendships old and new, each week the guys will be exploring ways you can create deeper connections with the people around you. We received so much feedback after Ben shared his story in episode 242, as well as a bunch of questions, emails and feedback on the topic, so let’s get to it!

This week kicks off looking at bringing more slow to romantic relationships. Brooke and Ben look at their own relationship, and acknowledge up front that their experience of the dating scene goes back a while now (Brooke has never swiped right). However, they talk about the fact that a lot of the technology around dating these days doesn’t necessarily support people looking for a deeper, more meaningful connection. Side note: Brooke did discover a slow dating app, but did not give it a test run (which Ben was grateful for).

They talk about the importance of entering into relationships and getting to know people with a focus on intention over the endgame, and how presence and time helps to cement trust. The same principles apply to people already in a long-term relationships. Intention, turning up and building trust are where it’s at. Dropping the distractions and being present with your s/o is so important in building that solid, steady foundation.

They bring up some of the challenges they’ve faced in their own relationship, invite us to reframe the way we view relationship milestones (as new understandings rather than specific events) and remind us that romance is constantly evolving. Which is comforting. To finish off, they invite you to be aware this week of your expectations in your relationships, and to explore finding joy and depth in the ordinary, everyday moments. If you have anything to add or that you’d like to share, especially if you have any apps or resources that have helped you slow down the dating scene, feel free to get in touch! Comment on Facebook or Instagram and share the love. To read more about the episode, head over to http://slowyourhome.com/245/ for all the links and resources mentioned, as well as the full blog post.  

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If you're enjoying the show and want to know how to best support it, leave a rating or a review in iTunes or head over to the Patreon page to help support the show financially.

And thanks so much for listening!

===

Join The Tortoise Community: https://brookemcalary.substack.com/

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.