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    superficial

    Explore " superficial" with insightful episodes like "Rethinking Perfectionism: what kind are you? Katherine Morgan Schafler", "Be Yourself: Beyond the Superficial", "Capítulo 87: Una persona desconocida", "A Revolutionary Faith: A Deep Faith in a Superficial World" and "Deseret News family policy reporter talks about her youth and what she learned about 'seeing' from blind parents" from podcasts like ""Late Learner with Allison Hare", "Sundays with the Gathering - Palm Beach Gardens", "El Cielo Que Nunca Vi", "Emmanuel Baptist Church's Podcast" and "Church News"" and more!

    Episodes (35)

    Rethinking Perfectionism: what kind are you? Katherine Morgan Schafler

    Rethinking Perfectionism: what kind are you? Katherine Morgan Schafler

    Where are my fellow control freaks? 

    Such an interesting and way more helpful perspective to rethink and redefine perfectionism. You know when you read a book and it’s so groundbreaking and helpful, you can’t help but tell all your friends, post about it? Well, I was the recipient of essentially being attacked on all sides that I needed to read this award-winning book, The Perfectionists’ Guide to Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler. Katherine is a seasoned psychotherapist and former in-house therapist for Google, with a BA in psychology from Berkeley and 2 masters from Columbia University and I’ve got her incredibly refreshing and game-changing approach broken down today. We talk about self-punishment vs. discipline. We talk about adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism and why restoration and resting feels like failure to perfectionists - and my favorite, control vs. power. I really am super excited for you to hear it and can't wait to hear what type of perfectionist are you!

    Timestamps:

    • [00:10:01] Redefining Perfectionism
    • [00:13:14] Gender bias in language.
    • [00:17:22] Perfectionism and power seeking.
    • [00:23:10] Five types of perfectionism.
    • [00:27:21] Parisian Perfectionists and Relationships.
    • [00:31:26] Knowing your type of perfectionism and collaborating with others
    • [00:34:10] Self-worth and self-esteem.
    • [00:39:03] Rethinking self-punishment and discipline.
    • [00:42:14] Emotional education and self-compassion.
    • [00:50:07] Resisting rest and restoration
    • [00:54:12] Restoring and emptying out.
    • [00:58:37] The Power of Play.
    • [01:02:07] Presence and Power.
    • [01:07:37] Gray rocking technique

    Katherine Morgan Schafler - Guest Links:

    The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control - A Path to Peace and Power

    What kind of Perfectionist are you? Take the Quiz

    Katherine Morgan Schafler - IG

    References mentioned:

    Be sure to rate, review, and follow this podcast on your player and also, connect with me IRL for more goodness and life-changing stuff.

    Deseret News family policy reporter talks about her youth and what she learned about 'seeing' from blind parents

    Deseret News family policy reporter talks about her youth and what she learned about 'seeing' from blind parents

    During rare times when circumstances shift, including the COVID-19 pandemic, individuals have an opportunity “to look into our soul and see if we like what we see there.” Life for Deseret News reporter Lois Collins was a constant invitation to see things differently. Raised by blind parents, Collins had the opportunity to learn how to “see” in every sense of the word. Of her mother, Collins once wrote, “She taught me not to worry about the things you can't change, but never to walk away from those you can.” Now, after some four decades as a journalist writing about families and family policy, she joins the Church News podcast to talk about her parents, Frank and Mary Collins, and help listeners look inside themselves — and others — and see if they like what they find there. 

    The Church News Podcast is a weekly podcast that invites listeners to make a journey of connection with members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints across the globe. Host Sarah Jane Weaver, reporter and editor for The Church News for a quarter-century, shares a unique view of the stories, events, and most important people who form this international faith. With each episode, listeners are asked to embark on a journey to learn from one another and ponder, “What do I know now?” because of the experience. Produced by KellieAnn Halvorsen.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    The Hero Trendency

    The Hero Trendency

    The Hero Story 

    Perhaps there has always been an effort towards optimization, and it generally looks like technology. When speaking of self optimization, or overcoming , we are speaking of the hero’s journey popularized by Joseph Campbell. Campbell spoke a lot of the parallels of the external journey and the internal journey… the external circumstances gave the individual the opportunity to react and grow.

    In the 50’s-70’s there was a wave of belief in unlocking human potential through psycho-science-type things like intensive practice hypnosis and subliminal training… or just LSD. Some of these practices were previously used in religious awakening, but we wrapped them up under the guise of science, and then they were abused by programs like MK Ultra.

    During this time, people thought of the human as a blank slate that could be written, molded or shaped. (optimized?) An example of this is Laszlo Polgar, born in Hungary, and with an idea about raising children, ended up getting married and having his first child in 1969. He and his wife Clara, raised children around the idea that they could create a genius through specific narrow focus. They had three children, the Polgar sisters, who all excelled at chess, reaching amazing heights, and were declared National Treasures. 

    In fiction, chess is too boring, so the blank slates are in the genre of assassin Killers: examples are Kill Bill, Atomic Blonde, or Leon the Professional where they are trained, usually for revenge or duty. On the darker side you have children raised by handlers or governments as weapons, like in John Wick, Black Widow, Hannah, or Kate. 

    So what if instead of being a badass with Kalashnikovs and stilettos you’re a phenom with golf clubs? This is the Tiger Woods story, a history of brutal authoritarian parenting generating mental resiliency and overcoming. A lot of success, but a lot of trauma.

    Physically, many of us are not capable of such heroic heights: we cannot optimize enough to overcome our genetics, despite how much protein we consume. Enter science to the rescue as the mythical augmented man: Perhaps the Six Million Dollar Man or the darker side of Robocop, more of an automaton cyborg. Talk about efficiency: just turn the man into a machine.

     We are culturally conditioned to accept this is the way of the future as far back as cartoons like Inspector Gadget: the bumbling doofus with all sorts of extensions and rockets and wheels that both saved the day and naturally lead to slapstick pratfalls.

    Backtrack: This takes us back to an earlier podcast, step 28, in which I mentioned Henri Bergson, and his summary of what makes something funny, which is “the mechanical encrusted upon the living.”

    Of course, the real warning: when we lean too heavily into external power, technology, optimization (or even habits and productivity), we cease to be human in a certain way. We trade in the hard path of “overcoming” for the easy path of instant power, and in that substitution, we lose something. 

    Yet, an alternate form optimization technology exists: Arcane Magics. I’m going to suggest, this path of learning the secrets of Arcane magics of habit stacking and personal productivity is the most alluring current path to be super, to achieve your potential. 

    From Fiction to Fact 

    While I have been talking about science through fictional stories, in many ways it has stepped into reality.

    You want to see something insane: look up clips from the 1920’s Olympics compared to todays Olympics: Over 100 years the science of optimization and dedicated practice works… physically at least… until they turn into that unhinged balance beam killer super model from “The Spy who dumped me.” 

    In America, we seem to live in a society that links success and progress and achievement with wealth and appearance. This is the manifest destiny of self-actualization woven into the Protestant work ethic, capitalist, American Mythos… and technology is often the vehicle and the key.

    But dedication to science and technology is problematically deterministic and class eugenics can spring up from it, as played out in the movie Gattaca. The secret to tricking an unjust technocracy? Keep secrets, and work harder than everyone else.

    But in this age of the internet we need to know exactly how: what was his diet? What drugs was he on? Boxers or briefs?

    And this is the trap we are in today: there are so many paths laid out before us by the millionaires and self-hacking crowds that we have a myriad of paths to successful optimization. Yet when someone, like in Gattaca, has an overpowering, all-consuming goal to be more… or in Kill Bill to kill more… we find their dedication and focus grants results. 

    This can be called “dedicated practice” and myths of a 10,000 hour rule to mastery circulate around it. The beauty of it is that maybe we don’t need neural implants and bionic arms. Maybe the new magics are habit stacks, routines, the mystical arcana of time-blocking and flow state. 

    The only thing left is to find an all-consuming, overpowering desire that we can shape our life around… and that is not so much hero stuff, as a very old question of all of mankind: what is my purpose? What is my mission? 

     

    The Superman, the Ubermensch, Nietzsche 

    How can we do an episode on superheroes, and overcoming without at least bringing up Friedrich Nietzsche. He popularized the concept of Übermensch or Overman or Beyondman… now most commonly seen as Superman.

    (By the way, this concept is affiliated with the Nazi party due to Nietzsche’s sister misusing his texts.)

    The Overman is really a man of overcoming… and to confuse it with physical power as the Superman warrior is quite superficial. In our society many people appear superhero, overcoming physicality, but staying in vanity. The hero’s journey is ultimately a journey towards self-integration, towards wholeness, and as Jung said “individuation” through the unification of opposites.

    In Nietzsche’s book thus spoke zarathustra the prophet Zarathustra, who comes down from his mountaintop to share his knowledge with masses is spurned by the people. 

    He attempts to tell them of the Ubermensch, but they reject this hard life of overcoming. All spiteful and disappointed, Zarathustra decides to prophesy the disgusting concept of Last man: a lazy decadent person, born of a civilization incapable of standing up to challenge or hardship, only interested in comfort.

     The last man takes no risks, preferring security. This is the soft and secure rationalist who has forgotten how to dream and everything the Ubermensch would do appears as illness, or madness.

    Intentional hardship? Are you crazy? 

    So, how do we push back against the zombie conformity of security that seems so rational? It seems – indeed – to be illogical to try. Isn’t it in our best interest to protect ourselves and stay comfortably in the middle of the herd? Yes, for survival maybe, but what about thriving? What about self-actualization?

    One way is to find something external to ourselves that is more important, someway we can help: A hero uses the challenge, the tension and hardship, to manifest creativity, to innovate. 

    Are scientists and technologists our superheroes, the innovators or our time? How about the optimizers, the overcomers?  The guys and gals hitting flow state, or testing intermittent fasting: testing, and testing, and suffering, and sharing all this data with us. Are they climbing the mountain and coming back down with the mountain-top insights? Perhaps. But what if their motivation is internet rewards, or just a whole bucket full of hacks? That would be a less than noble goal.

    Experimentation can happen culturally, too. Can we not appreciate the heroism of the alternate lifestyle?

    The real challenge, the wisdom handed down to us through some religion, philosophy, and myths is to blend all opposites: overcome and move beyond dualities of good and evil, conscious and unconscious, spiritual and earthly… this is how you become an individual.

    Most of us are what is called a “dividual”, not undivided, as an “individual.” We are the divided self. Fragmented. We have not overcome or transcended, or as Hegel would say “subsumed.” 

    Sure, we might be fit, we may look like the image of the superhero, but is maintaining appearances more like the act of the lastman? I am not saying they cannot coincide, but the motivation is a vital distinction to understanding conformity and overcoming.

    What I do know, is we -in our society- are really good at superficial appearances… placing the signifier before the signified. 

     The point, I think, is that to become a real human, a whole and integrated self, is a harder and a more heroic a journey than scientific shortcutting or following formulas that guarantee results. Sure, science/tech is great and helpful, but it shouldn’t do the overcoming for you: you have to do that. 

    Also, the hero is often portrayed alone, the monk ascending the mountain to find enlightenment or Superman in his Fortress of Solitude after keeping secrets, but you do not have to do this alone. Sure, you will have to work and push back against mindless conformity, but take the journey with others and avoid the solipsistic individuality of the shallow villain. 

    Of Money, Wealth and Living Your Most Opulent Yet Authentic Life

    Of Money, Wealth and Living Your Most Opulent Yet Authentic Life

    If there’s one thing I will never stop advocating for, it’s about being unapologetically opulent and shedding a more positive light on what it means to be bougie.

    The reason why I’m so adamant about this advocacy is because for me, it is an issue that runs so deep and is intertwined with race and equality. 

    If you’re an avid listener of the show (and thank you for that!), I always open each episode by throwing off this question that to me means so much more than an intriguing question. It’s actually my challenge to how society views not just women but black women specifically.

    What is it about a woman being unapologetic about her dreams and her drive, operating excellence, and having high standards that people find so intimidating?

    We can always write people off based on our superficial first impressions, that a woman wearing a Chanel perfume or carrying a Louis Vuitton bag is “materialistic” or shallow and only think about fashion or shopping. That is not only an incomplete observation - it is downright insulting.

    Women know the value of hard work and attaining their dreams. We have the capacity to not just aspire but actually achieve. And enjoying the finer things in life and living our most opulent selves is the result of all our hard work and sacrifices. It’s just right that we enjoy it! 

    I hope you enjoy these six lessons I live by when it comes to money, building and managing wealth, and being our most opulent and authentic selves:

    Connect with Cassandra:

    Is marketing your business making you feel less than opulent?  Are you ready to create the opulent outcomes that you desire in your life and business?

    Schedule a complementary discovery consultation via this link: https://calendly.com/cassandraalexis.

    Tune in to the Crowned Opulence Podcast on your favorite podcast app and join the conversation on Facebook and Instagram. 

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    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 8

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 8

    It’s week eight of Married at First Sight and Sarah and Mary are in rare form. Sarah is completely fine with Jose’s need to control the plant and garden situation and feels fairly confident that Brett and Ryan have at least played “just the tip.” Mary can’t get over the fact that Myrla hasn’t yet given Gil a peck on the lips and admits she’s probably done more with strangers at happy hour. The co-hosts have a lot to say about Johnny and Michaela and hope that sweet baby angels Zack and Bao have the stiff upper lips to make it to the end -- laughter and rage ensue.

     

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    © 2020-2021 Are You My Podcast?

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 7

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 7

    Week seven of Married at First Sight has the couples moving into their new, joint apartments and has Sarah and Mary questioning everyone involved except for Gil’s dog, Hype (HE’S THE BEST). Sarah is Team Jose when it comes to Rachel’s collection of travel pencils, while Mary thinks Brett and Ryan have the chemistry of estranged siblings. The co-hosts are thankful that Pastor Cal has shown up in an attempt to clean up the mess that is Bao and Johnny. Thoughtful and hilarious -- take a listen.

     

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    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 6

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 6

    Sarah and Mary rant, rave, and guffaw through week six of Married at First Sight Season 13. Johnny gets on Mary’s nerves with his immature questions for the group (WE GET IT, YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX). Sarah is considering getting a law degree to provide counsel to the couples who’ve been wronged by the experts (NO DOGS MEANS NO DOGS, PEPPER). The co-hosts agree you can tell a lot about a person based on a friendly game of “Never Have I Ever,” - and it’s not always positive.

     

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    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 5

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 5

    Sarah and Mary rage and laugh through week five of Married at First Sight Season 13. Sarah somewhat relates to Bao’s snoring insecurities and also truly wants a reality show where Jose takes people clothes shopping. Mary can’t imagine a fresher hell than ever having to watch Brett and Ryan attempt to get into a hammock together again. The co-hosts are relieved that Myrla is appreciative of Gil’s romantic gesture when she’s been unable to say a nice thing about literally anything else. Lots of laughs.

     

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    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 4

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 4

    Sarah and Mary chat and laugh through week four of Married at First Sight Season 13. Mary can’t imagine a brunch without mimosas any more than she can imagine having to converse with Ryan about literally anything. Sarah is annoyed for Gil having to listen to Myrla bitch and moan about the honeymoon digs. If Rachel and Jose say one more time how content and perfect for one another they are, the co-hosts may start to believe them (NOT REALLY). Give it a listen for some hearty laughs.

     

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    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 3

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 3

    Sarah and Mary discuss week three of Married at First Sight Season 13. All five couples are finally married, but the girls are less than impressed it took this many episodes to get there. Also - okay Myrla, WE GET IT - you need  to “maintain your lifestyle.” Mary would rather pick up trash on the side of the road than be forced to do the “two-step” with Ryan. The co-hosts still had high hopes for two of the couples, until they saw the previews for the rest of the season.

     

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    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 2

    Married at First Sight, Season 13, Week 2

    Sarah and Mary discuss week two of Married at First Sight Season 13. Sarah is protective of sweet-baby-angel Zack, and makes a plea that as viewers, we commit to protecting his heart. Mary thinks Ryan is a slimy frat guy and even though she has nothing to really support that opinion with yet - stands by it fervently. The co-hosts have a few choice words for the experts, and wonder if Myrla wouldn’t have been better matched with Jose, as they both are giving off “bad egg” vibes. Lots of laughs -- take a listen.

     

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    Eight Questions

    Eight Questions

    Do you pursue self awareness? Socrates once said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Jesus once said that in knowing the truth, we would be set free. This message makes the assertion that the truth we should seek isn’t just the truth about God, but also the truth about ourselves. Without self-examination, we can never fully transform into Christ’s image and find the freedom his disciples enjoy.

    Episode 34 | Body Love & Cultural Lenses, Part 2

    Episode 34 | Body Love & Cultural Lenses, Part 2

    Heather & Lyndel continue their conversation about bodies, diving into the personal nature of their experiences. They explore accepting your body’s changes, preferring "Fat" Luther Vandross, & their hope for a less superficial society. 

    As always, Mother will be there to guide us through our Final Thoughts! 

    To help us grow the POD, please RATE, REVIEW, & SHARE. We appreciate the listen & the energy. If you can't get enough of us, we would love to hear from you! 

    Contact us: 2peepspodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram @2peepsandapod