the lone gunmen

It’s time for the season finale 8x21 "Existence" in which and everyone’s favorite garbage monster Monica Reyes takes some sneaky glances whilst being the worst at all times. Claire attempts to hold it together as we say goodbye to the one-armed wacky-lackey-first-class Alex Krycek. In The Lone Gunmen 1x13 (or 12 depending on who you ask) "All about Eves" we finish the last of X-traneous viewings and spend some more time with Morris Fletcher.

Will, Dan, and Jozie are here for a head choping goodtime in 8x20 "Essence" wherein the all-new alien menace wants to kill a baby either out of fear of a possible would be magic human skygod or because they are susceptible to attack via abstract concepts... also nothing makes sense. In The Lone Gunmen 1x12 (or 13 depending on who you ask) "The Cap’n Toby Show" we learn what a creepy weirdo Langly has always been and that episode air dates are confusing.

Make yourself a really strong cup of coffee for episode 8x19 – “Alone” in which we meet the most terrifying monster of all time AND a salaMANder. The Lone Gunmen 1x11 “The Lying Game” proves yet again that Mitch Pileggi has all the acting chops and this mask technology is always going to be super creepy.

Ian joins us for episode 8x18 – “Vienen” in which we tune our unburnt radios to 101.5 to say goodbye to the black oil and the career of Fox Mulder who will hopefully go somewhere and die… again. The Lone Gunmen 1x10 “Tango de los Pistoleros” was aired on television at one time.

Will joins us for episode 8x17 – “Empedocles” wherein the boy who could fly is now made of evil cgi fire. Reyes and Mulder meet and say seemingly English words at each other for no other purpose than to torment Doggett. In The Lone Gunmen 1x09 “Diagnosis Jimmy” Byers is obsessed with Bears and Jimmy is in the hospital solving mysteries and inexplicably breaking hearts.

Heidi joins us for episode 8x16 – “Three Words” in which Zombie Mulder is barely back from the dead and already being a dick. Thanks to Knwlle Rrgrgrorer, Little Doggett learns he's never been closer to the truth. The Lone Gunmen 1x08 “Maximum Byers” misses all marks that it aims at and then ends with a state sponsored murder.

This we week we discuss episodes 1x02 “Creegan” and 2x04 “Mauser's Day Out” In which the crew is menaced by an inexplicable clown that was warped by the machinations of Mr. Potter and they learn a valuable lesson about reprogramming a gay science robot for sex.

Ian joins us for the handiwork of Chris Carter episode 8x15 – “Deadalive”. Mulder's return from death, autopsy, embalming, and three months in the ground is questionable as Scully 11 month pregnancy. On the plus side Little Doggett and Slycek face off. The Lone Gunmen 1x07 “Planet of the Frohikes” features a talking chimpanzee named Simon White-Thatch Potentloins, and therefore is the best episode of Lone Gunmen ever.

It's time for everyone to drop to their knees and scream to the skies that Episode 8x14 – “This Is Not Happening” here. DJ J-Jon JonE Jon joins us as we discuss this Chris Carter penned pile of garbage. The Lone Gunmen 1x06 “Madam I'm Adam” has Stephen Tobolowsky which makes it slightly better than it's usual sub-mediocrity.

We're back for Episode 8x13 – “Per Manum” in which someone finally remembers that Scully is pregnant. There are a grip of flashbacks to when Gillian Anderson had good hair and a lame partner. Also we meet everyone's favorite new character Knowl Rohrrererrghragher. The Lone Gunmen 1x05 “Three Men and a Smoking Diaper” is as boring as it is sexist.

Join us for Episode 8x12 – “Medusa” as we travel into a mysterious train station being menaced by a phantom, or jellyfish, or sweat activated parasites, or a vengeful mute orphan. Frankly we have no idea what the hell is happening but we know Scully is angry about it. The Lone Gunmen 1x04 “Like Water for Octane” is as questionable as it is mediocre.

DJ J-Jon JonE Jonathon joins us for Episode 8x11 – “The Gift”. Unlike Mulder, Dogget gets eaten and vomited up by a disease-ridden monster and doesn't feel compelled to murder an innocent. We witness the most unsettling use of a mask ever in the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1x03 “Eine Kleine Frohike” which largely revolves around Frohike trying to look at an old lady's ass.

Matt and Mila are here for the confounding and repulsive Episode 8x10 – “Badlaa”. Scully is sad that she's not quite as sociopathic as Mulder and there's a monster that is climbing up the ass of random people for no discernible reason. The nest makes room for another loser in the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1x02 “Bond, Jimmy Bond”

Hot off the Gaz, Alirio and Chris join us for Episode 8x09 – “Salvage”. Where a man slowly turns into metal monster almost as terrible as his wife. The writers continue to have very little understanding of elementary school science. Also we climb into a nest of grossness for the loneliest of times for The Lone Gunmen 1x01 “Pilot”