the work of byron katie

On the path of self-discovery, there are a lot of stories we hear that glorify suffering. It’s as if the things that come easy can't be trusted. But do you know for sure that suffering is a requirement for self-realization? That it can’t come from love, enthusiasm and interest in the truth -- it has to come from suffering. When something comes naturally, is it true that it ‘doesn’t really count?’ Or could it be that the only thing that’s missing is our allowing it to be. This week Tom invites us to let our lives work out beautifully. Could it be that simple?

Could it be that suffering is an inherent part of the human experience and one of our many freedoms? Rather than a flaw in the design that needs to be fixed or something you need to feel bad for. While we can never know for sure what suffering is and why it’s here, we can always know how we show up when we’re thinking and believing it. Join us as we explore all things suffering, challenge inherited conditioning, and consider how to best meet suffering in ourselves and with others.

Do you allow yourself to be peaceful and happy even when it appears other people are suffering? Or have you put other people’s experience between you and your happiness? Cultural programming tells us that it’s insensitive, uncaring, and selfish to go straight for our own peace and happiness. But is it true? Does adding our suffering to someone else’s suffering actually help the situation?

When we notice, question, and meet our stories with understanding, we say ‘yes’ to life. The deep relaxation, ease, and openness that occurs when this happens can feel ‘too good to be true,’ because we’ve been taught that struggle, suffering, and difficulty is what is real in life and easy, effortless, joy-for-no-reason living is just a woo-woo fairytale. This week we confront the possibility that Life/God is taking care of every detail and that we don’t have to pay for all that we’ve been given. Perhaps, it’s all here for us to let go of so we can enjoy the ride. Could that be true?

What if living Life is like following a route in google maps? You have unlimited attempts to get to where you’re going and no matter which direction you take the navigation system knows exactly where you are and directs you from there. When you make a ‘wrong turn,’ the navigator doesn’t criticize, condemn, shame, or blame you — it just reroutes you. It doesn’t even care if you get ‘there’ or not. It has no agenda, no requirements, no rules, and no demands of you. It’s just an unconditionally present, endlessly friendly, helpful, patient, and creative navigator, guiding you along the path called ‘my life.’ 

Could it be that everything we need to meet the next moment is here now? Imagine meeting every moment from the perspective that “nothing is missing.” Quite different from our habitual mental vantage point — there is definitely something missing. This week’s inquiry is quite a relieving one! If you allow it to be. Grace is happening all of the time, but it never forces us to receive it.

Most of us can relate to wanting the best for ourselves, for others, for the world. But how can we be certain of what that ‘best thing’ is? And then if we do feel clear about it - what is actually effective for bringing about that positive change we’re wanting? This week we look at the primary human strategies: resistance, force and control and then consider the turn around: accepting Life exactly as it is. Could it be that accepting Life fully is not only a more peaceful path, but the most effective and reliable one available to us? 

Is it possible to be separate from Life? Or is there only one reality? Often we experience ourselves as “in here” and the world is “out there.” But what does our direct experience show us? When we experience ourselves as separate from the intelligence of the universe, we call certain things natural and interpret other things as unnatural. But what if it is all an act of God? Join us, for a deep inquiry into the nature of reality, truth, and our attempt to find peace within it.

Doing ‘The Work’ is not just an inquiry process to discover what’s true — it is an uncovering of the most effective ways to meet Life in all of its expressions. This week’s episode explores how we show up in a moment of crisis. What is the most supportive stance to take when someone we love is going through something challenging? What do we do when there is nothing left to do? Is it possible that wanting the best for someone is enough? Follow along for a heartfelt exploration of divine helplessness that brings us into contact with the unlimited, sensitive, intelligent power of love. 

While there’s no way to know if everything happens for a reason — what we can know is that things don’t need a reason in order to happen. Perhaps, ‘reasons’ are just a story we tell to make ourselves feel like we have some sense of what’s going on here on planet earth. When in reality, we have absolutely no idea. This week we explore what happens when we consciously open up to Life being completely out of our control and meet the mystery of the universe with a willingness to say yes, while not knowing what we’re saying yes to. If you find yourself willing to find out if the universe is indeed friendly and if goodness is the real nature of life, then this is the episode for you!

Do we really have to hold it all together? So many of us walk around with the pressure to contain, maintain, manage life without ever stopping to inquire about whether we actually have that power in the first place. When believing this story, we have to imagine a future where something terrible happens if we don’t keep it all going. Yet, the nature of this reality is that everything comes to pass not to stay which puts us in an impossible position. As Byron Katie says, when we fight against reality we will lose — 100% of the time. Yet, when we notice what we’re believing on top of reality and question it — we begin to trust and flow with the great mystery of life. 

The promise of happiness is one of the greatest ‘motivators’ we hold for ourselves, our children, our partnerships, the world. But where does happiness actually come from and what is its nature? Is it actually sourced from relationships, objects, jobs, money, experiences going a certain way? Or is it possible that happiness is not dependent on anyone or anything? Could it be that happiness is primary to who we are — a natural state of being? This week’s episode invites you to put down everything you’ve been taught about happiness and everything you think you know about it, so you can open up to experience what’s true about happiness, for yourself. 

Could it be that everything that happens within you and without you is unfolding in utter perfection? If you’re suffering, you’re suffering perfectly. If you’re pushing yourself, you’re pushing yourself perfectly. If there’s war, it’s warring perfectly. When there are no shoulds, no shouldn’ts, no wanting it to be different; when nothing is held up in comparison to anything else — the glimmer of perfection begins to shine through all things. Follow along and discover what happens as we open up to a radical new definition of perfection.

Some beliefs are so subtle that when we first inquire into them we may have a hard time relating. We may think, ‘I don’t have that going on in my world,’ only to discover that it is impacting us in a much greater way than we had anticipated. This is exactly what happened for a majority of participants in this week’s episode. Group  inquiry is: awareness alchemy. With each individual’s reflection we are reminded of experiences of our own or invited to see something in a new way, which supports us to drop deeper and deeper into the effortless, ever-present state of awareness. Which as Vernon Howard aptly says, “Is the cure, the only cure.”

This week’s episode invites you to let in that you don’t know for sure that you are separate from everything that exists. If what you are has no beginning or end and who you are is not dependent on a body, or your name, or the events of your life; then couldn’t it be true that the reality of YOU is not separate from the reality of ALL? Up is always hanging out with down, good is always hanging out with bad - seemingly opposing realities appear separate and yet are completely dependent on each other. Where could these separate realities exist except within the one infinite space that holds it all? Join us, as we do our best to get in touch with that which is real and open to the possibility that who we are is not separate from that which is ever-present and unchanging.

If you are a regular listener of this podcast then it’s likely you are open to the possibility that who-and-what-you-are is good. It’s also quite possible that after a glimmer of this truth, the insight has become a wish or a hope rather than an embodied knowing. This is what Byron Katie refers to as, “Living beyond our evolution.” It happens when we mentally relate to a truth but haven’t actually realized it for ourselves yet. This week Tom highlights one of the most insidious beliefs that can manifest in this way: thinking that we are good and living as if we are not. Join us as we drop another layer deeper into our own understanding of what is true about our essential nature.

Could it be that our habit of making a loss, a sickness, an accident - ‘wrong,’ ‘bad,’ or a ‘tragedy’ - goes hand-in-hand with our  habit of identifying? When we see ourselves as someone, going somewhere, doing something we have no choice but to focus on whatever legitimizes our identity and we’re blocked from appreciating the inevitable goodness that accompanies all happenings. Yet, when we allow ourselves to simply be that-which-perceives, we begin to see how everything that recedes is ultimately making way for something more full, more true, more beautiful, to come through. This week’s episode invites us to keep it simple and possibly discover a sweeter life than we could have ever believed it to be.

This week’s meditation is an inquiry into being human. What is our actual experience when it comes to being alive and knowing that we’re here? Tom guides us into a powerful examination of the most common assumptions related to the underlying belief in separation and body dependence. Through exploring the nature of images, thoughts, sensations, and feelings as they relate to our direct experience, this guided meditation gets us in touch with the ever-present, effortless, limitless awareness that rests beyond it all.

Are you living as if the world is here to please you? Look at your children, your partner, your family, even strangers - is it really their life purpose to please you? Follow along for a humbling investigation filled with relatable examples, laughter, and powerful insights into the utter ridiculousness of pleasing and being pleased. Join us as we take inventory, question, and turn this story around for the love of freedom and discovery of the truth of who we are. 

Could it be that lack of safety is just a sensation in the body? And that in reality, there’s never been a moment where we weren’t safe? Even in the midst of great emotional and physical pain, is it possible that we are still safe? So often we hold onto painful stories and images of the past as protection from possible future pain, but what does that habit actually do to us? This week’s episode challenges the most common narratives about how to keep yourself safe. Could it be that openness rather than ‘holding on’ is the most intelligent and supportive stance we can take as we meet the ever-mysterious, unfolding of life?