tinsely mortimer

We open with Luann's SOLD OUT Christmas Cabaret, where you can do all your Christmas shopping. Dorinda and Sonja go to cool sculpt their flanks and we are jealous! Bethenny relays her near death experience due to her fish allergy and is still shaken up. Dorinda, Sonja and Tinsley can't figure out why they are stopping by Luann's cabaret, but soon learn it's for a lesson in show business. Ramona pulls off a party for Dorinda and Sonja, and they are both grateful. But good vibes only last until Dorinda begins to attack Tinsley for the money she still spends after she 'claims' she has ended her relationship with Scott. Everyone interprets a 'S'mores and Whores' party dress differently. If there are two things we've learned this season, they are Bethenny knows how to order and she knows how to throw a party.

Continuing with Bethenny hysterical in Miami, they somehow manage to talk calmly and work things out without Bethenny in the hospital or Luann at a bar. Back at the house, Tinsley lets loose, and Dorinda makes Bethenny confront the fact that Dennis's passing was "a bad thing." Back in NYC, Luann is "Feeling Jovani" and not understanding irony. Dorinda plans an 80's aerobic charity event that everyone is going to attend, unlike Luann's Christmas Cabaret. Thankfully, Bethenny takes charge and makes it all okay. And we're counting on her to have the food ready for the ladies when they get to the party.

Luann is rehearsing her Christmas Cabaret. How fabulous?! Sonja shows up unexpected, uninvited, and uninterrupted. Dorinda gets to host the iconic tree lighting that no one's ever heard of. She then threatens Luann with lawyers and Sonja threatens to go manic if she's called manic. The ladies head to Miami and stay in a place fit for "Scarface." Dorinda and Sonja get drunk within minutes of arriving and harass the staff, who clearly deserve more money. Bethenny tells Luann what everyone has been saying all along - life is not a cabaret, you can't tell everyone Sonja is on pills, and it's not right to make out with Sonja's guys. Sonja finally goes down without a fight. Literally.

Bethenny and Luann continue their fight about whose "way is really going." Luann gives the worst apology ever. To be fair, she was upset. We love seeing Dorinda and Bethenny roll on the floor laughing a few times at the ridiculousness of Luann. The ladies go to dinner where Ramona grew up, and Ramona opens up about the abusive childhood she suffered. Luann takes Sonja, Poor Tinsley, and Barbara back to Kingston to see Luann's future. The other three ladies stay back, open up, and bond. The next day, the ladies finally head back to the city, leaving Luann home to chill. And just be cool. EXCUSE ME!!!!

The ladies are headed up to Luann's "bird's nest." But first, Dorinda has some errands to run in her new hood. Bethenny meets up with Ramona and Tinsley. Tinsley fills Bethenny in on Sonja's attacking her for talking about her rough patch. Sonja and Barbara arrive to Luann's a night early, where they school Luann and then share some girl gossip. After Dorinda, Tinsley and Bethenny arrive upstate, Bethenny and Luann begin to get into Luann's cabaret behavior. Ramona still hasn't made it due to her birthday extravaganza thrown by her "best" friends.

Luann and her Jovanni bag arrive to get ready for the biggest party in NYC. Bethenny, dressed as a Victoria Secret -- I mean, Super Angel, is the first to arrive and leave. Ramona ditches the party altogether, but the rest of the ladies wait over two hours for Luann to prepare for her two songs. Tinsley and her mom catch up over cross-stitching, and now we all want cross-stitched stockings. Dorinda moves into her new apartment, and it's all hers and hers alone! Bethenny finds out Luann is still taking stabs at her. And Ramona, The Influencer, makes a fool of herself, as do Dorinda and Sonja by bickering in front of a crowd at a charity event they are "supporting." And that's after Ramona tells her friends to feel free to celebrate her birthday. Becky and Raquel pre-game.

We are still not touching the Morgan letters, but they're not real anyway. Ramona gets comfortable in the middle of dinner, and the ladies have a fun, let -loose evening, although Barbara is scared. Back in the city, there are blowouts, old dogs, and flower purchases. Bethenny plans a sparkle party, and a game of truth or dare brings out the best or worst. But that's after caviar and vodka; so it's okay.

We are in the Berkshires this episode. Luann is still upset over the swordfish bedroom; so Tinsely puts an end to it by giving up her bedroom. The following day, Camp Blue Stone Manor has a full schedule. Sonja starts spinning when they visit a Morgan family home. Dorinda is amazingly compassionate and comforting to Bethenny as she moves through grief. Barbara is amazingly annoying as she tries to keep the fire fueled between Dorinda and Luann. Everyone tries to reel Sonja in as she becomes a little more than tipsy. Sonja is concerned that Barbara is going to move in on Bethenny and for the love of God, DON'T TOUCH THE PAPERS!!!

At Sonja's party, Dorinda and Luann finally speak but not so much about the elephant in the room. Sonja dips a toe in the lady pond. Tinsley's meets her mom for drinks some and shattering of her self-esteem. Dorinda feels it's time to move on and out of her apartment after going back into Sonja's old townhouse. The five families - er, the four ladies have a sit down in hopes that Luann and Dorinda find some kind of resolution, but things are left unresolved. And we don't know who's drinking the Kool-Aid, but we're pretty sure it's spiked.

The blonde circus arrives to Barbara's clambake They find comfort among the gays but nowhere else. Bethenny invites Tinsley to the dark side. A very short, timed, tension-filled visit ends with Ramona and Sonja packing up ALL the food. Back in the city, we find out Luann has bought every house on the water. Bethenny continues her relief work. And Sonja's amazing magazine party brings all the ladies together in one room to celebrate.

We are already loving the RHONY and can't wait to get more. The season starts by catching us up with the headlines that happened in between seasons. Dorinda and Luann are not talking and neither seem anywhere near ready to see the other. Bethenny is grieving, while Sonja is loving her new downsized living. Tinsley is so close to getting that ring, the whole cast can taste it. And Ramona's nonstop flirting and dating has us wondering where she gets all of her energy.