028: I'll Just Serve You A Colossal Jong-Jong

For some reason, Edda or Amos (here sometimes referred to as Edna and Otis) has gone through a wormhole and now Polly and Lolly are older. How much older? Well, we think The Master intended them to be some specific age (probably because he couldn't wait for them to reach the age of consent, because he is a monster), but the way they are drawn from strip to strip makes it impossible to tell what age that is. Are they supposed to be in their early 20s? Mid-40's? 30s? Also, is there a reason (other than poor execution of course) that they both now have black hair which is going gray? So very fucking weird. There seems to be no reason for Polly and Lolly to have "time traveled" from an "alternative reality" other than to come raid Edda's closet for dresses. (EDITOR'S NOTE: it's ALWAYS alternate reality, no one has ever said alternative reality...until now.) Of course, daughters wearing their mom's clothes is a regular thing in this strip and it ALWAYS makes the mom mad. For some fucking reason. There is so much creepiness and grossness here that it was upsetting for us, including (but not limited to) the strip about Polly and Lolly as children talking about how they enjoy watching their parents dream about having sex. So, yeah, totally normal shit going on here, guys. Look, on this episode, it probably seems like we're just jumping into the middle of an ongoing story while ignoring the necessary prelude. And in a way we are. But here's the thing: We go back and do the research and Ol' Bee Mac-El-Dee plopped us down here with no real explanation. Because he's Just. That. Good. There's a sequence a couple of weeks before this where Edda is launched off a swing into space, but that's as close to a logical explanation as you're ever going to get in this god-forsaken comic. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1763657388417339809?s=20), or on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/C3_Amuyv-Zr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). This episode, which exists in an alternative reality, includes: Running in Griffith Park The Perfect Crime Time-Jumping Edna & Otis Twins Prematurely graying Coors Light "...and twins (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjaNL3J5Qik)" commercial Victorian Wasp Waist (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wasp_waist) The Ol' Ben Franklin Weird hands/crab claws The Ring girl (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPtP_dfZXxc) Beaver shots Singin' in the Rain Boris Pasternak (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boris_Pasternak) Alternate realities Little Lord Fauntleroy (https://www.amazon.com/Little-Lord-Fauntleroy-Ricky-Schroder/dp/B00000F4P6) Playing jacks Improper interrobang usage Mannequin legs Stilts Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE). And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage (https://www.instagram.com/9chickweedrage/).

What better way to start the new year than to take a look at the first Chickweed Lanes of 2024? Well, I guess it might be better to NOT look at them at all. But that's really not on the table for us, now, is it? Please excuse Jeff sounding like he's broadcasting from inside a tin can. He was literally inside a tin can. Once again, get ready to enjoy some smooth jazz segues, because the technical problems again befall us. But we soldier on and find ourselves back in the world of ear-kissing and the familiar restaurant booths with seat-backs of varying heights (and nothing on the tables of course). Xiulan insists that her husband Hugh kiss Edda's ear, which he does without hesitation. Polly and Lolly practice piano, which for some fucking reason bothers Edda. There's more about kissing ears, then Amos decides to kiss Edda's neck, which is so very difficult what with all of the fucking turtlenecks everywhere. Then we end our episode with more Polly and Lolly. It's shocking (or is it?) that a random sampling of the first 8 strips from 2024 give us all of the things that are so tiresome and annoying about the strip. That, we suppose, is the genius of Brooke Mac-El-Dee. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1751963970750325138?s=20), or on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/C2r74dyL7EK/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). This fully turtlenecked episode includes: Jazz! Lalo Schifrin Champagne Turtlenecks! Greedo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2cajwgDyLM) from Star Wars Rectum? Hell, it killed 'em both! McEldowney Ellipsis Ear kissing Even more turtlenecks! Piano practice So many turtlenecks! Kissing your Ben Franklin The jazz flute (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_c_ufaxeSTs) from Anchorman Full William Frawley Connect Four (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0rFtlKZk30) Winnie the Pooh Attack of the 50-Foot Woman Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE). And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage (https://www.instagram.com/9chickweedrage/).

After becoming convinced that Brooke Mac-El-Dee himself is listening to this podcast, we take a deep dive into his poor history with the ellipsis (and other punctuation). You see, in one strip, he makes a point of "educating" everyone about the use of an ellipsis. According to The Master, it is only used to indicated omitted words. And that is not only not true, it is also not how he has EVER used the ellipsis in his own work. In fact, we're not sure he has used it that way even once. So we go back through the strips we've already discussed and actually count the periods. (So many periods.) We also talk about a handful of strips where he "has fun" with punctuation with "hilarious" results. All in all, a fitting way to end the year. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1740402215402283477?s=20), or on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/C1Zx41jrT4n/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). This ..... episode includes: Sneezing Diet Cokes Christmas Back trouble riding a Segway spot-eyed cats semi-colon misuse Ross & Rachel Sam & Diane Katniss & Peeta motorboating Eddie Izzard talks about Englebert Humperdinck (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjaRR4ofudA) Underwood Farms Goat habitrail Goat poop Welcome Back, Kotter Peanuts Comma splice Kilroy Was Here Tiger Beat Leif Garrett Shaun Cassidy William Frawley's pants (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtmC2I8K6mo) Mowgli from The Jungle Book The Dark Crystal Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE). And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage (https://www.instagram.com/9chickweedrage/).

It's the big day for Xiulan Ha'Penny Yuan and Hugh Portwhistle Godalming. For some reason, Xiulan has chosen Edda to be one of her two bridesmaids, because of course and why not? Look, Edda is a small part of a wedding that isn't her wedding, so naturally she's furious that someone else is getting all the attention. She has a plan to not only "go commando" underneath her cheongsam, but to "slink up the aisle like hookers short on crazy money." She thinks this would be a fun and funny thing to do at someone else's wedding. And I guess we are supposed to be charmed by this. Oh, that Edda! Typical Edda! What's not to love about her? Seth warns her and Ginger, Xiulan's friend and the other bridesmaid, not to do what they're planning, and Edda gets very mad about it. Xiulan yells at the two of them on the way down the aisle. Edda then sticks her tongue out at Seth, again, on the way down the aisle. Once at the altar, Hugh makes exclaiming "cor lumme" when he sees Xiulan. She makes fun of him for that. At the altar. But then tells him that she and her bridesmaids (who are sitting in the pews now?) are all going commando. They talk about this for a while. At the altar. Instead of getting the wedding going. The priest interrupts and then reveals he has also gone commando. We discover that other people have gone commando too. Then for some reason the priest gets mad about it. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1726452275160519165?s=20) or on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/Cz2o8NkL4rm/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link). This completely underwear-free episode includes: wing-tip collars pet collars "I'm Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman" by Britney Spears (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IlV7RhT6zHs) Dutch angles! Cheongsams Very bad hand drawings The McEldowney Ellipsis! Going commando Pheromones Pig Latin Ealing Comedies The Church of England Cockney Slang Adam Godley Astronomical ellipsis usage! Reading glasses Marty Feldman Bing Crosby Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE). And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage (https://www.instagram.com/9chickweedrage/).

Despite repeated mysterious technical difficulties, Brooke and Jeff persevered to bring you the 30th installment of this very important podcast. Was it worth all of the trouble? Of course the answer is no, probably not. But we begin with the aftermath of a date between Gil and Janice, the Nicolette Cignet photographer and Edda's friend and rival from the dance company we met way back in Episode 24: They Wanted You to Model Because of Sitzfleisch Allure (https://www.9chickweedrage.com/024). Gil is getting advice from Seth and Mark and tells them that he did not in fact bone Janice at the end of the date (which was their expectation), but instead kissed her on the left corner of her mouth. This move, according to Mark, is akin to "lighting a sensual fuse." Edda doesn't believe it, but Amos tries it and transports them to a series of famous romantic movies. First La Dolce Vita, then From Here to Eternity, Casablanca, It Happened One Night (which Jeff mistakenly places in 1939 instead of 1934, sorry!), before veering to North By Northwest and settling into the Tarzan canon. There are so many Tarzan strips, guys. It's all very, very stupid. But we soldiered on through multiple glitches and made it happen. Just for you! Also, Jeff tries really hard to explain Schrödinger's Cat to make a metaphorical point, only to fail in his explanation and then to fail to remember exactly why he was trying to make the point in the first place. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1718430506940059796?s=20) or on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy9o0MipPU7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). This kiss-induced dream episode includes: KU vs. MU Mullets Coup d'etat Bartleby the Scrivener Fletch talks about the filth and gunk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjJYNZirQCU) Nicolette Sheridan/Nicolette Cignet Kevin Smith George Santos and Steve Bannon Form-fitting turtleneck mini-dress DTF Turtlenecks Ellipses! Ezio Pinza singing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktvnNhwBaeY) "Some Enchanted Evening" from Some Enchanted Evening Records on 78 The Library of Congress Ball-cupping Beavers The Trevi Fountain (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIz-BgNYN20) from La Dolce Vita Gumby Form-Fitting Neck-Brace Turtleneck From Here to Eternity Casablanca It Happened One Night North By Northwest Tarzan Obstetrics Laurel & Hardy Schrödinger's Cat (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat) explained so much better than Jeff tried to Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)

Well, we've been gone for two months but we're back! And if you thought that this stupid comic strip wasn't still stupid, boy, are you in for a rude awakening! All the same old shit is still there: turtlenecks, Dutch angles, references to starlets of the '30s and '40s, no backgrounds, the McEldowney ellipsis! Oh, how did we survive all these weeks without these? Anyway, this stupid storyline is about Juliette and her boyfriend Elliott, whom everyone hates. (Including us!) One version of this story would be to say that he shows up to propose to her and ends up in the hospital. But it's all so fucking convoluted and the story changes with each new development. At first, Juliette is pretty confident that Elliott might pop the question, but she's not certain, so she wears a sexy dress to help him "pop." But later we discover that he proposes to her on a weekly basis. Then, we find out that the minute Elliott walked through the door, he inhaled a cough drop and needed medical attention. But later, we're told that he didn't inhale the cough drop until after she said yes. But even later, we're told that her dress caused him to have "an episode." And a doctor tells us that he inhaled a cough drop but then had an arrhythmia. Anyway, none of it makes any sense, especially the part where Elliott ends up in the ICU for more than a day. To confuse things even more, Brooke and Jeff talk about the ICU like it's the Emergency Room. But then again, that seems to be interchangeable with Brooke Mac-El-Dee as well. Later, a cat motorboats Juliette's boobs. And in the end, no one really gives a shit about what happened to Elliott because they're too busy talking about Juliette's dress. Spoiler alert: She's the sexiest person in the ICU and she loves it! The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: Edda and Juliette mention Jean Harlow, Juliette promises to make Elliott "pop," Elliott chokes on his cough drop, and a doctor stares at Juliette's boobs are here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1710366406557220951?s=20). The "lethal, shrink-wrap, halter-top gown," Edda getting mad because her gay roommate thinks her mom is sexier, and Juliette looking hot (and enjoying it) in the ICU are here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1710366408151056421?s=20). A cat motorboats Juliette's boobs, Amos talks about his fetid corpse, and Elliott somehow on his deathbed are here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1710366410550190305?s=20). This lethal, shrink-wrapped episode includes: Dive, Dove, Doven? Phones, both corded and cordless Auntie Mame Turtlenecks! Jean Harlow Fisher-Price Little People (https://shop.mattel.com/collections/little-people) Dutch Angles! The character design from [Shark Tale](https://www.google.com/search?scaesv=569938233&sxsrf=AM9HkKlxERVw5MfqrxGptUaJi-AqJDQ4g:1696289606532&q=A+shark+tale&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjcxLubw9iBAxVXJEQIHaNEPUEQ0pQJegQIDhAB&biw=1301&bih=802&dpr=2). No backgrounds! Cough drops Jolly Ranchers Arrhythmia Chekhov's Gun (https://www.masterclass.com/articles/writing-101-what-is-chekhovs-gun-learn-how-to-use-chekhovs-gun-in-your-writing) Les Nessman's bandages (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Nessman) The McEldowney ellipsis! Crystal Gayle Being motorboated by a cat The ICU Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)

Inspired by the 4th of July (I guess), we go all the way back to the beginning and take a look at the very first Chickweed strips. Brooke Mac-El-Dee comes right out of the gate with Juliette talking with Edda about physical attractiveness and how that's very important to catch a man. Edda at this point is maybe 12, so this is a TOTALLY NORMAL AND APPROPRIATE conversation for a mother to have. But don't worry. Things get WAY MORE inappropriate pretty quickly. Isn't it comforting to know that this horrible comic strip was horrible in exactly the same ways from the beginning? Following up Juliette's lessons in female attractiveness, pre-teenage Edda already expresses what can only be described as Championship Level Body Dysmorphia. Classic Mac-El-Dee! There's a whole Sunday strip about a fly. Twelve-year-old Amos, who looks either drowned or electrocuted or both, spends an entire strip sniffing Edda...at her request of course. Sophia Loren's "bosom" is described as "proud." Edda shames her mother for not getting boned on a date. Then later the two of them celebrate Juliette finding her boyfriend's "button" and "pushing it." Which I suppose means she had sex. Edda encourages Amos to imagine random adults they're looking at naked. So that's totally cool also. And finally we spend about ten solid minutes trying to figure out what "I'll just serve you a colossal jong-jong" means. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: Juliette teaches Edda about the necessity of being attractive and Edda expressing her complicated body dysmorphia ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133741673172992?s=20). A Sunday strip all about a dumb fly and Amos uncomfortably and repeatedly sniffing Edda ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133743338315779?s=20). Sophia Loren's "proud bosom," Juliette's inability to transform a man into a "gelatinous blob of slavering desire," and Amos showing his leg to some other boys ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133745057980417?s=20). Juliette talks to Edda about finding and pushing her boyfriend's button, Edda and Amos imagining adult strangers naked, and the famous colossal jong-jong ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133746786045953?s=20). This gelatinous, colossal episode includes: 4th of July Joey Chestnut Eating harmonicas Christmas Free Will Major League Eating "76 Trombones (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdd6q0pW4DM)" from The Music Man Funnel Cakes Pizza Hut P'Zone Dutch ovens Twinkies International waters Barbie dolls Lauren Bacall Muppets Telly the Monster Dorothy Hamill Scent of a Woman and Al Pacino's catchphrase (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dNeIAxll2A) Sophia Loren Slavering Imagining everyone naked Fast Times at Ridgemont High The Colossal Jong-Jong Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)

We could not resist the gravitational pull of the international cello competition that Amos won. You remember it, right? He and Edda got caught on camera (by a news balloon of course) having sex and then people complained that the sex tape (which everyone in the world saw) gave Amos an unfair advantage. So now we dive into the aftermath. It's 20 strips this episode, sorry guys! It's a re-match between Amos and Xiulan Yuan, and the competition will happen behind a screen and the contestants will have to switch cellos. Because of course both of those things make sense. For no good reason at all, other than Brooke McEldowney's hatred of women maybe, Edda hates Xiulan and decides to be a racist right to her face. It's fine (and funny?) I guess because Xiulan doesn't speak English. The competition happens, behind the screen, in front of an audience who paid good money to look at a screen on a stage. Instead of feeling ripped off, the audience hears Amos's cello playing and starts fucking basically. Just like always. Even people listening on a streaming broadcast end up fucking. Amos wins, of course, although he appears bored to be there for the entirety of the run. To cap it off, two nuns scissor from the joy of it. Pretty fucking typical for this comic strip. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: Headlines explain the outrage, Juliette phones Edda in Brussels, and Amos switches cellos ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406916313645056?s=20). Seth wants Amos to "moitelize" Xiulan, Isabel Florin says an indecipherable four word phrase, and Edda quotes Rocky ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406918796496897?s=20). Amos wishes Xiulan luck, Edda is a racist, and Juliette wishes Seth wasn't gay ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406922185641984?s=20). Amos and Xiulan draw straws, Edda fogs up Amos's glasses, and we see a screen on a stage ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406924790325248?s=20). Edda plays the one-key piano filled with milk, Edda and Amos are overcome with the passion of playing, and we see their weird sex arms, too many of which are left arms ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406927155625986?s=20). Everyone listening starts fucking, second prize is awarded, and Edda flings her body toward a bored Amos ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406930024558593?s=20). Amos changes into a blue suit for the on-stage celebration and two nuns do it ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406933099003907?s=20). This episode, which was performed behind a screen, includes: Winnebago Man VHS Cut my gums off Silly Putty New Math "Love is in the Air" by John Paul Young (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNC0kIzM1Fo) The World Wide Web Once Upon a One More Time (https://onemoretimemusical.com/) on Broadway Ripped from the headlines The Speed Cubers on Netflix (https://www.netflix.com/title/81092143) Turtlenecks Edda's tragic baldness Benjamin Franklin Enslaved by the exclamation point Macaroni microphone Jeff Beck Bugs Bunny The Bowery Boys Rocky Sea cucumbers The Bluey episode called "Pavlova" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NqbB79mVyc) The Price is Right and Truth or Consequences Dutch angles Two left arms Full corn niblet mouth Scissoring nuns Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)

Here we are introduced to 60-year-old Arthur Peel and his assistant Nan-Lin Peel (no relation), who is thirty years younger than him. Arthur excuses himself for being a disgusting old man, with a balding head, hair coming out of his ears and nose and eyebrows, wattles, and flapping flesh. These are his descriptions of himself, although Brooke Mac-El-Dee doesn't take the time to actually draw him that way. He is balding, but he has thin, very well groomed eyebrows, no visible wattles and few wrinkles to speak of. He repeats this stuff over and over to Nan-Lin, who seems bored and beaten down by his monologue. (You and us both, sister!) Of course, when Arthur adds that he is in love with her, this changes everything for Nan-Lin, who then literally crawls across a table to kiss him. Arthur, in typical Chickweed style, doesn't understand what's happening or that Nan-Lin wants his wrinkly and flapping Johnson. He looks terrified and concerned for all fourteen (yeah, sorry) of these strips. She even gets up on the table and presents her beave to him. Still, he doesn't fucking understand what's going on. Because...it's funny, I guess? Anyway, she eventually slides into his lap and then they disappear under the table. At this point, we discover that they are in a restaurant. The waiter arrives and is unfazed by their near-fucking in the booth. So much so, he takes their order, and then seats two other guests across from them. These guests, Seth and his boyfriend, don't notice that there's a couple moments away from intercourse across the booth from them. And they begin to make out too. At this point, both couples notice each other. Embarrassed (?) Arthur and Nan-Lin bolt from the restaurant, but not before Arthur gives the waiter a huge tip. The waiter then claims he's in love. Which must be a joke, but isn't funny really. And also makes no sense in any context provided. But what the fuck were we expecting anyway, right? The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh, Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh AGAIN, and Arthur talks about his wattles but NOT his flapping flesh ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737341502451712?s=20). Nan-Lin presents her beave, Nan-Lin ends up in Arthur's lap, and Arthur and Nan-Lin end up lying down in a booth in a restaurant ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737343490535426?s=20). The waiter arrives to take their order, Nan-Lin and Arthur hear the waiter but just keep dry humping, and the waiter seats another couple opposite them ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737345512202240?s=20). Seth and Mark immediately begin to make out, Seth and Mark notice Arthur and Nan-Lin, and the waiter insists on a big tip ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737347315728385?s=20). The phrase "get a room" is uttered and the waiter falls in love with giant money ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737349370974209?s=20). This key party-adjacent episode includes: What is the name of our favorite celebratory march? Cell phones in cars 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid Classic moment (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT0CScFzp1o) from The Man With Two Brains. Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw). Brooke's Broadway musical Defibrillator Paper pants MRIs Metal underwear/chastity belts/codpieces Where "Bust a moo" originally came from (https://www.movieposters.com/products/home-on-the-range-mpw-8275). Adam Godley "Hot in Herre" by Nelly (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeZZr_p6vB8) McEldowney ellipsis Ball wattles Gilbert & Sullivan Classical symphony orgasm (https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/la-philharmonic-concert-loud-and-full-body-orgasm-b2330648.html) Pro-butt/Am-butt 21 Beave Salute Motorboating Laura Ingalls Wilder Turtlenecks Shrek Bluey's "cone of shame!" episode (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkj66AEODE4) Throuples The Case of the Disappearing Mustache! Scooby Doo Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)

In this episode, we dive into Amos's subconscious, which is predictably icky. Amos describes a dream he had the previous night. He headlines it as a dream where Edda went to buy a car. But what the dream is really about is how the car salesman sexually assaulted her. So, at least we know where Amos's priorities lie. The Ol' Mac-El-Dee makes a big point of repeating (endlessly) that the salesman's name was "Wilkins or Fortescue," as if that is, by it's nature a very funny piece of business, which it is not. Also, and not for nothing, the salesman looks a lot, A LOT, like Amos. So I guess that's maybe the point? It's a rape fantasy that Amos is having? It's all filled with car-related double entendres, because of course it is. Edda assumes, from Amos's description that her dream self simply gave herself to the car salesman, which shows where her priorities lie, I guess. Amos spends most of the dream choosing tea at Zabar's. As if that's a great place to choose tea. But then he rushes in to save her. I mean, not "rushes in," per se. He had to choose his fucking tea first. But he enters the dealership and pushes the salesman "onto his beezer." Whatever the fuck that means. In the end, Edda gets turned on by Amos and, while they're walking down the street, throws her vagina at his face. Seriously. Wait till you see the picture. It's fucking ridiculous. Also impossible. The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode: Wilkins or Fortescue descends on Edda and Amos chooses his tea at Zabar's are right here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1647015657731661824?s=20). Amos pushes Wilkins or Forescue onto his beezer, Earl Grey keeps his secrets, and the Mac-El-Dee Walkin' C are right here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1647015659673649157?s=20). This nightmarish episode includes: Mullets Headphones Brooke's new comedy routine Improv Stuck in a closet Listener feedback "Tasty poopers" Urban slang Joe Biden Abe Vigoda Everything Everywhere All At Once Harry Potter hands 8-cylinder cars Andy Capp (https://www.gocomics.com/andycapp) Marathon Man "Is it safe?" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzw1_2b-I7A) Zabar's Dean & Deluca In 'N' Out The Russian Tea Room Walking cunnilingus The Bachelor Lawn chairs & ironing boards Talk to Us! Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to? We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)