10. Expert Hour, Holistic Healer Kacey DeGuardia Leads Us In a Metta-Meditation

Have you ever tried to get rid of things that someone else gave you?  A piece of furniture. Or someone's favorite dishes or ring or artwork. These things carry emotional and energetic weight! This episode packages the most amazing, simple tactics on how to release these things from your life and not only lose the guilt, but gain energy and aliveness in the process! All brought to you eloquently and with a bit of cheek, by Cynthia - a downsizing pro who's learned to show herself and her things empathy while letting them go. Enjoy!

SHOW NOTES:

Margareta Magnussun:The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning
Marie Kando:The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

Perfectionism got you in its grips? My hand's up! And it's all of us to some extent - in fact this one's born from popular request.

But what if we did the opposite? When we aim for imperfection, we get an immediate energy shift and a freedom like no other. This episode is a tactical one to help you approach situations, people and tasks differently. And it's another way to show yourself some empathy and compassion. Do it. Try it. And Enjoy!

SHOW NOTES:
Marie Forleo - Everything is Figureoutable [go straight to Chapter 6!]

Where are we in 2021 on definitions of masculinity? Is there any difference between how men and women 'do' emotional release? Today I'm talking with Boysen Hodgson from the Mankind Project, an international men's community. They train men to be vulnerable, self-empathic and self-reflective. They're normalizing the emotionally intelligent man. We cover everything from 80s movies to women's reactions to men who 'overshare.' This is for anyone who has a man in their life - brother, son, father, partner, friend. It's a conversation that's so overdue, and we're having it! Enjoy.

SHOW NOTES:
Mankind Project - check out their trainings & men's groups 
Brene don't hate me if you're listening! We never circled back to the "Brene  Brown thing," which was a reference to her research about women complaining that the men in their lives crossed a threshold with emotional release, and it can permanently change the dynamic of their relationship. This comes from the On Being episode "The Courage to be Vulnerable." Which - zero exaggeration - I've listened to over 100 times. 

What do you do when you believe you're not good enough in ANY aspect of your life? Evan is here to tell you that you're not alone. He shares tons of tactics and practices that have helped him move through suicidal ideation, financial crisis, acceptance of an invalidating father, the death of a stillborn child, addiction, depression and anxiety.  Though he still feels the uphill slog of succeeding in his obligations and desires, this is one refreshingly grounded human. Enjoy.

SHOW NOTES:
How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie (this is where to find the poem "Father Forgets")
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 
Find a CBT therapist
Internal Family Systems (IFS) episode with Dr. Richard Schwartz

In this episode you’ll learn that we all have an entire family interacting inside of us! They are called parts.  None of them are bad, and we can learn to become the leader and healer of our Self. Harvard Medical School Psychiatrist, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapy, and author Dr. Richard Schwartz has decades of evidence to prove that human nature is inherently good. You’ll see how quickly you can access your parts, and develop empathy for them and the roles they play. You may even be able to release a part that’s stuck in a role they don’t want, like I did in the on-air mini-session. Mind blown. It was like 10 years of therapy in 10 minutes. Recommendation: Don’t skip around in this episode. Enjoy!

SHOW NOTES:

SoundsTrue - Course: Greater than the Sum of Our Parts
IFS Institute - Pre-order No Bad Parts, find a therapist, join an online circle group

Books:
You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting for - IFS in relationships
The Mosaic Mind 

Being a beginner happens ALL the time, whether you're 5 or 95! Beginnings are things like speaking up at a meeting, asking someone on a date, learning how to use new technology, becoming a parent and grieving the loss of a parent. We experience things with a degree of newness any time we don't feel like an expert - which means most of the time! We may feel 100% confident speaking with our team colleagues, and the opposite asking a question in a painting class. Context matters. Learning to be a beginner while  showing empathy for yourself is a life skill extraordinaire.  Here are a few ways to do it.

SHOW NOTES:

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers

This is so common! We've lost touch with our intrinsic value and we look to others to assign value to us. Tessie talks about her own experience of how this fallacy developed, how it can turn into physical illness and depression, and - drum roll... -  how the cycle can be broken.  She has a few strong tactics to share that anyone can try right now. Wouldn't it be nice to live by your own standards instead of someone else's? There's so much to learn from Tessie.

SHOW NOTES:
The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown
Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Kristin Neff
What to Say When You Talk to Yourself, Shad Helmstetter
Crimson Letters: Voices from Death Row, Tessie Castillo

Today I'm celebrating In Kind's first birthday by reflecting on what I've learned about myself and humanity in the last year.  I talk about experimenting with another form of letting go, specifically time. I've been experiencing 'time-free' days lately, and it's been insanely liberating! It's hard to express the depth of my gratitude for the guests, experts and listeners who've been bold enough to have meaningful conversations with me. Thank you for your courage, candor, support, feedback and humor. Cheers to global empathy, and to In Kind's evolution in 2021!

Neurotheology? That's not a word you hear often. It's an emerging field that studies what's happening in the brain when people are in deep spiritual practice.  We know that the more we use certain neural pathways the stronger they get...but studies using brain imaging show that prayer, meditation, mindfulness, and affirmations can change our wiring. It takes awareness and practice. Dr. Newberg says our conscious selves need to help our unconscious brain to shift - it’s a partnership. He gives us two simple, powerful tactics to start (use the Chapters to jump to them),  and advises us to “Remember not to get stuck in who we are. We are our own experiment.” Start tinkering.

SHOW NOTES

Dr. Newberg
Mark Robert Waldman, author

What do you do every day that lights you up? What pulls you down? If you're like me, you probably have meager accurate awareness of how you actually spend your hours. Instead of focusing on what we failed to do this year, and making the same promises (aka resolutions) next year, we'll look at who we became over the the last twelve months. They key to that is to decide how each of our daily actions makes us feel, and to do more of the ones that make us feel most alive. However 2020 treated you, this tool will wake up many aspects of how you live. I promise that looking into a few dark corners will produce gold in 2021.

SHOW NOTES

Other Year in Review Methods:
Marie Forleo
Patrick Buggy’s Mindful Ambition

Adjunct Partner to I Am Becoming:
Tim Ferriss Fear Setting 

Journals:
Passion Planner
Minimalism Art
The best journaling pen in the galaxy

Book:
Surprise, Tania Luna and LeeAnn Renninger