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    113. “I feel like the parent in our marriage. And I hate it”

    enJuly 18, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Effective communication and alignment on financial goalsCommunicate openly about finances, align on goals, and use budgeting tools to maintain a healthy financial relationship.

      Effective communication and alignment on financial goals are crucial in maintaining a healthy and stable relationship. The speaker shared his personal experience of struggling with money psychology and how it affected his self-worth. He also highlighted the importance of his book, "I Will Teach You TO Be Rich," which provides answers to common financial questions. The speaker then introduced Nicole and Matt, a couple who faced financial challenges due to alcoholism, family debts, and career difficulties. Their lack of alignment on financial goals led to tension and misunderstandings. The speaker emphasized the importance of being on the same page about money and using budgeting tools to keep track of expenses. When Matt incurred an unexpected credit card interest charge, the speaker's reaction led to a conversation about the importance of accountability and transparency in financial matters. The conversation underscored the importance of addressing financial issues head-on and working together to achieve financial goals.

    • Financial control in relationships: unhealthy power dynamicReliance on partner for financial management can create tension and resentment, emphasizing the importance of financial literacy and equal partnership.

      A power dynamic in a relationship, where one partner assumes financial control over the other, can lead to an unhealthy dynamic. This was exemplified in the discussion between Matt and Nicole, who have been together for 9 years. Matt admitted to having addiction issues and poor money management skills, leading him to rely on Nicole to manage their finances since the beginning of their relationship. However, this dynamic created tension and resentment, with Nicole feeling like she was the boss and Matt feeling like he was being lectured. With Matt now earning a stable income, they have recently transitioned to a more equal financial partnership. It's important to note that Matt's increased income hasn't led him to change his spending habits, highlighting the need for financial education and discipline regardless of income level. Matt also expressed a lack of understanding of basic financial management, such as setting up automatic payments, further emphasizing the importance of financial literacy.

    • Fear and anxiety impact money managementFear and anxiety can hinder effective money management, leading to emotional instability and lack of control. Communication and alignment in financial partnerships are crucial to alleviate tension.

      Fear and anxiety around money can significantly impact an individual's relationship with it, leading to a lack of control and meaningful investment. The speaker in this conversation expressed feelings of overwhelm and fear, which led to a lack of emotional investment in managing her finances effectively. She admitted to having a chaotic and erratic approach to managing her expenses and felt the need for more control to alleviate her anxiety. However, even if her income were to double, she might still struggle with managing it due to her emotional connection to money. The conversation also highlighted the importance of communication and alignment in financial partnerships, as the speaker's inability to meet her partner's financial expectations led to tension in their relationship. Ultimately, the speaker expressed a desire to reach a point where she could live comfortably without constantly worrying about money, but acknowledged that it would take significant effort to get there.

    • Understanding and addressing patterns in relationships and personal financeAwareness of past behaviors and motivations is crucial for financial health and balanced relationships. Examining our actions and utilizing resources can lead to improved well-being and new experiences.

      People's beliefs about their future actions can be inaccurate, and past behaviors and attitudes can persist even when financial circumstances change. For instance, in the discussion, Matt and Nicole's dynamic of one partner covering expenses while the other spends freely and creates financial anxiety, continued even when they had more income than ever before. It's essential to be aware of these patterns and work to address them to ensure a healthy and balanced relationship. Another insight gained from the conversation was the importance of understanding why we do the things we do. Our actions and desires can change depending on our circumstances, and it's crucial to examine our motivations to live our best lives. Additionally, the discussion highlighted the benefits of trying new experiences and utilizing resources like Viator to enhance travel and broaden horizons. Lastly, the introduction of technology like the pod cover from 8 Sleep, which can help improve sleep quality, demonstrates how innovation can address specific needs and improve overall well-being.

    • Making wise financial decisions for a secure futureFocus on making wise financial decisions now for peace of mind and future security, despite the challenges of understanding compounding and present-future consequences. Take small steps like investing wisely and minimizing expenses.

      Making smart financial decisions now can help ensure a more secure future. The fear of ending up in a difficult financial situation later in life can be a powerful motivator, but it's important to focus on the positive – making conscious choices now to avoid that outcome. The power of compounding and the difficulty of connecting present actions with future consequences can make it hard to fully grasp the importance of saving and investing. However, by taking small steps towards financial security, such as investing wisely and minimizing expenses, we can set ourselves up for a more comfortable future. Additionally, the unexpected events in life, like the passing of loved ones, can serve as reminders of the importance of being financially prepared. So, instead of focusing on the fear of ending up in a van, focus on the peace of mind that comes from knowing you're making wise financial decisions now.

    • Facing Reality: Dealing with Denial and ProcrastinationDenial and procrastination can make important matters harder to address, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging and planning for the future, whether it's health or finances. Tools like Superhuman can help streamline tasks and save time.

      Denial and procrastination can significantly impact one's life and make dealing with important matters much more difficult in the future. Nicole shared her experience with her uncle's denial of his health and financial issues, which made solving them exponentially harder for his family. Matt acknowledged his own experiences with procrastination and the similarities between his uncle's situation and his own. Despite the fear of acknowledging mortality, they emphasized the importance of discussing and planning for the future, whether it be health or finances. Matt specifically mentioned how tools like Superhuman can help save time and streamline email management, allowing individuals to focus on more important aspects of their lives. Overall, the conversation underscored the importance of facing reality and taking action to improve one's situation.

    • Bringing Peak Tea's high-quality experience homeEnjoy Peak Tea's rich taste and health benefits at home with their cold-extracted, pre-measured, and easily brewed tea. Save up to 15% and get a free quiver with 12 tea samples by visiting peaklife.com/ramit.

      Peak Tea offers an expensive yet high-quality tea experience, but may not be accessible to everyone due to its cost. To bring that feeling of care and love into your daily life, Peak Tea provides an alternative solution with their cold-extracted, pre-measured, and easily brewed tea. This allows consumers to enjoy the rich taste and health benefits of their tea without the hassle of traditional brewing methods. Additionally, the discussion touched upon the importance of having clear and concise goals in life and the desire to travel, especially to Japan. If you're looking for a magical next trip to Japan, consider Peak Tea as a way to bring a piece of that experience into your home. For a limited time, you can get up to 15% off and a free quiver with 12 tea samples by visiting peaklife.com/ramit.

    • Journey to Japan during Festival of the Dead holds sentimental value for MattMatt's trip to Japan during the Festival of the Dead holds personal significance, and the conversation highlights the importance of recognizing and valuing personal growth and achievements.

      The trip to Japan during the Festival of the Dead holds a special significance for Matt, as he will be honoring his late brother's memory. The trip is not centered around this, but rather coinciding with it adds an extra layer of meaning. Another significant takeaway is Matt's struggle with feeling worthwhile and grown-up, stemming from his past financial struggles and experiences in the service industry. Hearing this, Nicole expresses her pride in Matt's accomplishments and transitions in life, which he seems to downplay. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of recognizing and valuing personal growth and achievements.

    • Addressing emotional attachments to moneyRecognize and manage emotional needs and addictive behaviors towards money for effective financial management. Implement systems, express gratitude, and focus on behaviors to improve relationship with money.

      Acknowledging and addressing emotional attachments and addictive behaviors towards money is crucial for individuals to update their views and improve their relationship with it. This can be achieved by implementing specific systems, expressing gratitude, and focusing on behaviors rather than the numbers themselves. For instance, Nicole needs to stop checking her accounts daily, while Matt should reduce impulsive buying. By addressing these emotional needs and behaviors, individuals can make progress in managing their finances effectively. This conversation also highlighted the importance of trust, communication, and support in maintaining a healthy financial partnership.

    • Personal growth through hard and soft skills, expert advice, and financial literacyInvest in yourself through cognitive behavioral therapy, gratitude, self-reflection, learning from experts, and financial literacy for effective personal growth.

      Effective personal growth involves both hard skills, like cognitive behavioral therapy, and soft skills, like gratitude and self-reflection. Additionally, learning from experts in various fields can significantly impact our lives, and the accessibility of masterclasses makes this possible at an affordable price. Procrastination can often prevent us from tackling important tasks, such as getting life insurance, but tools like Fabric by Gerber Life make it easy and quick to secure coverage for our families. Lastly, understanding the nuances of financial language and concepts is crucial for managing our money effectively.

    • Bridging the Gap in Financial UnderstandingEffective communication and recognizing differences in financial literacy are essential for building a strong foundation in personal finance. One partner may need to teach the other the basics, while both must acknowledge the importance of financial education.

      Effective communication and understanding of financial situations are crucial for building a strong foundation in personal finance. In the discussion, it became clear that Nicole and Matt had vastly different understandings of money, with Nicole being much more knowledgeable. To bridge this gap, Nicole needed to meet Matt where he was and help him learn the basics of personal finance, while Matt needed to recognize the importance of taking ownership of his financial education. Their net worth and income levels highlighted the importance of this, as Nicole had a higher tolerance for financial detail due to her greater financial literacy. By acknowledging and addressing these differences, they could work together to improve their financial situation and potentially unlock greater financial possibilities.

    • Desire for Control in FinancesTo effectively manage finances, finding the right balance between control and trust is crucial. Automate payments to simplify management and focus on long-term goals.

      Having control over finances can sometimes lead to excessive involvement, which can hinder the growth and ease of managing money. Matt and Nicole, during a discussion about their investment strategies, revealed their strong desire for control. Matt shared his past financial instability and reluctance to make decisions based on current circumstances. Nicole, on the other hand, was aggressive about investing and admitted to putting in a lot due to her need for control. The financial expert advised them to adopt new behaviors and encouraged them to automate their payments to simplify their financial management. By doing so, they could focus on their long-term goals and reduce the mental burden of constant monitoring. The expert emphasized the importance of trusting the system and letting their investments grow without constant interference. In essence, the key takeaway is that finding the right balance between control and trust is crucial for effective financial management.

    • Automating Finances for Financial FreedomSetting up autopay for bills and investing regularly can lead to significant savings and financial security. Being honest about expenses and having a clear financial goal are essential.

      Automating finances through setting up autopay for credit cards and investing regularly can lead to financial freedom and security. Matt and Nicole's conversation on the podcast "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" highlighted the benefits of having a clear financial goal, investing consistently, and being honest with oneself about expenses. By automating payments and investing, they were able to eliminate housing expenses and have significant savings for retirement. The power of compounding interest was emphasized, with the potential for large sums of money to accumulate over time. However, it was also acknowledged that reaching this level of financial security requires discipline and consistency. The conversation between Matt and Nicole was inspiring and showed the importance of having a solid financial plan and the support of a partner in achieving financial goals.

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    79 – How to choose the RIGHT CPA for Construction with Greg DeSimone

    79 – How to choose the RIGHT CPA for Construction with Greg DeSimone

    In this episode of the Profit Tool Belt podcast, Dominic Rubino speaks with recovering CPA Greg DeSimone about what to look for in a CPA, the importance of clear communication, how often you should meet with a CPA, when you need a specialist, considerations for smaller businesses, and more.