175: How To Get Over Someone You Can't Get Over

While great chemistry can make a relationship enjoyable, the absence of character can lead to difficulties and unhappiness. The group on the Love Life podcast, consisting of Jameson, Audrey, Matthew, and Steven, discussed various topics including the importance of character in relationships, the heatwave in London, and misconceptions about temperature and sleep. They also shared a joke about cold feet and debunked the myth that hot drinks can cool you down. Overall, the conversation emphasized the significance of having strong character traits in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

The concept of "the one" and a soulmate can be distinguished. While "the one" implies there is only one perfect match for you in the world, a soulmate refers to a deeper connection with someone who truly understands and sees you. It's essential to recognize that you can have multiple soulmates in various forms, including friendships and romantic relationships. Additionally, holding onto the belief of "the one" may hinder opportunities for forming meaningful connections. The fear of rejection can also impact our dating lives, but overcoming it can create new opportunities. For help in moving on from someone, check out the free video training at moveonstrong.com.

During our younger years, we are exploring and defining what truly matters to us in life and in relationships. This process involves trying out different experiences and connections to gain clarity. The concept of soulmates can mean various people throughout our lives, and it's essential not to settle for something that doesn't feel right yet. However, we should not shop around indefinitely as there is a point of diminishing returns. At a young age, excitement and potential should be the primary criteria for relationships, not perfection. As we grow older, we become wiser and more certain about our values, which helps us recognize and appreciate deeper, more meaningful connections.

Building a deep connection with someone, whether you consider them your best friend or a potential soul mate, takes time and shared experiences. It's not something that comes ready-made. Excitement can be a sign of potential compatibility, but it's important to ensure that the person you're interested in treats you with respect and kindness. The term "guys" can be problematic when addressing a group of women, and finding an acceptable alternative can be challenging. A listener shared her experience of meeting someone who seemed perfect but ultimately ghosted her, leaving her feeling stuck and unsure how to move on. She tried rekindling the relationship after some time had passed, but it didn't work out due to trust issues. The listener discovered that he had a girlfriend the whole time, and it had been a year since the revelation. Despite traveling and dating other people, she couldn't find anyone who compared to him. He had once expressed his desire to marry her, but he wasn't ready for that level of commitment at the time. The listener is seeking advice on how to move forward and find closure.

The feeling of strong chemistry or connection with someone doesn't guarantee that they are the right person for us in the long term. The speaker describes a past relationship where they felt an easy and natural connection, but it ultimately ended without commitment from the other person. This experience left her with a sense of longing or "saudade," a Portuguese word for a feeling of melancholic nostalgia for what once was. It's important to remember that this feeling doesn't necessarily indicate the significance or importance of the relationship, but rather a natural human response to experiences and memories. To move forward, it's crucial to recognize that past relationships, even those filled with strong chemistry, are just one of many experiences in our lives. It's essential to focus on the present and future, rather than dwelling on the past.

While it's natural to feel nostalgic about past relationships, it's important to recognize that the importance of those relationships lies in the experiences they provided in the present, rather than any potential they may have had for the future. Chemistry may be an essential part of romantic relationships, but it should not overshadow the importance of character and compatibility. Relationships built on weak character foundations can lead to significant pain, even if the chemistry is intense. It's crucial to evaluate both the emotional connection and the ethical foundation of a relationship to determine its long-term potential.

Focusing solely on the positive aspects of a past relationship while ignoring the negative ones can prevent moving on. It's essential to acknowledge and process the imperfections and understand that everyone has them. By recognizing the ways someone has caused unhappiness, we can learn to appreciate new relationships that bring out positive qualities and treat us well. It's also crucial to stop dwelling on past connections and instead focus on the present and future. When we meet someone new, noticing their positive traits can help us grow and find a more fulfilling relationship. Remember, the person we're meant to be with will possess both chemistry and essential qualities. When we no longer feel significant attachment to the past, we should share our progress with others. Lastly, avoid encountering past relationships in person as much as possible to aid in the healing process.

If you're in a situation where someone is texting you without any intention of taking the relationship further, it may be best to cut off contact as much as possible. Jameson and Audrey discussed how this behavior can be frustrating and even lead to unwanted feelings. Jameson suggested blocking the person on social media and removing them from your life. He also mentioned that the person in question might be aware of the impact they're having and may be using the situation to their advantage. Audrey shared an experience where she felt annoyed by text messages from Jameson that didn't show any promise. She eventually made it clear that she wasn't interested, and they ended up getting engaged. The key question is whether you can turn the situation around if you find yourself in a similar position. Jameson suggested using a specific text message to make a casual situation go somewhere. To find out what that message is, go to what to text next dot com. Another topic they touched on was dealing with rejection. Hina asked how to get over the need for men to like her, while R asked about handling "meh" rejection. Jameson advised focusing on your own worth and reminding yourself that everyone has different preferences. He also suggested practicing self-compassion and remembering that rejection is a natural part of life.

It's not necessary or healthy to aim for everyone's approval in love. Instead, focus on finding someone who truly sees and accepts you for who you are. Rejection is a natural part of life, and it's important to recognize that not everyone will be attracted to or understand us. Our intentions should be oriented towards finding authentic, meaningful connections, rather than trying to please everyone. By embracing our unique qualities and following our highest intentions for love, we increase our chances of finding a fulfilling relationship and reduce the impact of rejection. Additionally, it's important to recognize that our ego can sometimes protect us, but it's essential to differentiate between our self-worth and our ego's desires. Ultimately, the goal is to find someone who sees us for who we are and accepts us, and to offer the same gift in return.

Our sense of identity and the fear of rejection can hinder us from taking risks and trying new experiences. This fear is often more pronounced in those who have built their identity around being attractive or superior. The danger lies in rooting our confidence solely in this identity, as rejection can rock our sense of self and make us hesitant to take risks. The discussion also touched on the analogy of choosing between sharing a bed or having separate beds during a vacation. While some may view separate beds as a lack of intimacy, it's important to remember that intimacy can still be present and that not everyone sleeps comfortably next to their partner all night long. The key is to find a balance and not let our fears or preconceived notions limit our experiences.

Effective communication is crucial when dealing with attachment styles in relationships. The discussion revolved around the idea that if one partner is anxious, it's essential to navigate the situation carefully to avoid misunderstandings. For instance, if an anxious partner insists on sleeping in the same bed during a trip, it doesn't necessarily mean a lack of intimacy. Instead, it's about addressing their concerns and finding a compromise that makes both partners feel secure and loved. Moreover, the conversation touched on the importance of leaving reviews for the podcast to help the hosts feel appreciated and valued. The hosts expressed their anxiety about the lack of recent reviews, emphasizing the significance of listener feedback in their work. Lastly, the Love Life Club was introduced as an exclusive membership where members can join a community, get personalized coaching, and attend masterclasses with experts. The club offers a more intimate and engaging experience for listeners who want to deepen their understanding of relationships and improve their love lives.

The AskMH platform offers a free 2-week trial for individuals seeking to enhance their self-confidence and find love. By becoming a member, you'll gain access to valuable learning resources designed to help you discover the love you desire and appreciate the life you have. The risk-free trial allows you to explore the membership and decide if it's a good fit for you. Life would be wonderful if everything came with a 2-week free trial, right? So, why not give it a try and see how it feels? Join AskMh.com today and prepare to embark on a journey towards self-improvement and love. Remember, we're here to support you every step of the way. Don't forget to leave a review on iTunes – we can't wait to read your feedback!