Podcast Summary
Focus on actions, not feelings: Instead of basing our value of someone on our feelings towards them, focus on their actions and how they make us feel. Don't let over-investment and anxiety cloud your judgment.
Instead of basing our value of someone on our feelings towards them, we should focus on how they make us feel. It's common to become over-invested and anxious when we start dating someone we find attractive, especially when the feeling is mutual. This can make it particularly hurtful when the person suddenly goes cold after things were going well. In this video, principles and text messages are provided to help if you've become over-invested and anxious. Before we dive into the content, consider a question about your love life that you'd ask if I were sitting next to you. At the end of the video, you'll have a chance to ask me that question and receive a personalized answer. A member of my love life community asked about a guy she had been seeing for around three to four weeks. Communication had been good, and she was enjoying her time with him. However, once he went on a trip with his kids for two weeks, things took a turn. The communication stopped, and she was left feeling anxious and unsure. The takeaway here is to focus on the person's actions and how they make us feel, rather than getting lost in our feelings towards them.
Communication in long-distance relationships: Lack of consistent communication from a romantic interest might indicate they're not fully invested, prioritize focusing on the potential, and address over-investment to move forward.
The lack of consistent communication from a romantic interest may indicate that they are not as invested in the relationship as the other person. This person's behavior, such as sending occasional messages or pictures, suggests that they are not making an effort to sustain or progress the connection while they are away. It's essential to understand that we cannot know the full reason behind their actions without being in their head. Instead, focusing on the fact that they are not prioritizing the relationship at this time can help the other person move forward. Additionally, recognizing and addressing any over-investment or over-analysis can alleviate the pain and help prevent similar situations in the future. Ultimately, it's crucial to hold onto the potential for something while also acknowledging that the person may not be the right match at this moment.
Emotions vs. Reality in Relationships: Recognize the difference between feelings and reality in relationships. Shift focus to other areas of life and give less attention to the relationship to create a balanced perspective.
It's essential to differentiate between how we feel about someone and how they make us feel. While it's natural to have intense emotions towards someone we're interested in, it's crucial to recognize that our feelings don't always align with the reality of the situation. In this context, the speaker discusses a situation where she feels unwanted and unsure of her relationship status despite having strong positive feelings towards the person. To avoid becoming too invested too early, it's recommended to shift focus to other areas of life and give less attention to the relationship. This approach can help create a more balanced perspective and prevent unnecessary emotional turmoil. Ultimately, it's essential to remember that relationships require communication and mutual understanding, and it's important not to place undue pressure on them during their early stages.
Partner's silence: Give partner space and avoid being overly available or eager during their absence. Focus on authentic communication and rebuilding closeness.
If your partner has gone quiet during their absence, it may not mean they're exclusive or interested in an exclusive relationship at that moment. It's important to give them space and not be overly available or eager when they return. Authentic communication and rebuilding closeness are key. Don't force things or play games, but be true to the level of closeness you feel. As for what to say, focus on being honest and authentic about your feelings and actions. There's no need to pressure the situation or make plans based on their potential availability. Instead, focus on your own life and plans, and let things develop naturally when they're ready.
Responding to ex's text: Maintain a calm and measured response when texting an ex, expressing interest but also making clear that you have plans and are not available immediately, and keeping the conversation focused on the present.
When responding to a text from an ex who has returned from a trip and reached out to see you, it's important to maintain a measured and calm response. Avoid gushing or showing excessive excitement, as this may come off as needy or desperate. Instead, respond with a polite and casual message, expressing interest in catching up but also making it clear that you have plans and are not available to see them immediately. This shows that you have a full life outside of the relationship and are not overly reliant on their approval or attention. If they have not reached out to you at all during their trip, it's important to wait a few days before responding, as reacting too quickly may give the impression that you were waiting by the phone for them. In both cases, remember to keep the conversation light and focused on the present, rather than dwelling on the past or trying to rekindle old feelings. By maintaining a calm and measured response, you can show that you have moved on and are in control of your emotions, making for a healthier and more productive interaction.
Reconnecting with someone: Send a playful and confident text referencing an inside joke or shared experience to break the ice and initiate plans when trying to reconnect with someone who hasn't initiated contact.
When trying to reconnect with someone who has gone cold and hasn't initiated contact, sending a playful and confident text can be an effective way to break the ice and initiate plans for catching up. This text doesn't have to be groundbreaking, but it should reference an inside joke or shared experience and express your desire to see them again. This approach maintains your value in the situation by being proactive while also acknowledging the elephant in the room – the time that has passed since your last encounter. The text should be lighthearted yet bold, and it's an evolution of the advice I've given in the past, which focused on specific scenarios in dating and relationships. Whether it's addressing the situation where someone has gone cold or providing guidance on what to do when someone flakes on a date, my goal has always been to help people navigate complex emotional situations and communicate effectively.
Personalized dating advice: A new tool is being developed to provide personalized dating advice based on individual contexts, promising revolutionary results. Keep seeking advice and be prepared for the next step in your dating journey.
Every dating scenario is unique and requires specific advice based on individual contexts. Despite best efforts, it's impossible for a single piece of content to address every situation. However, a new tool is being developed to help answer specific questions and provide personalized advice. This tool, currently only available to love life club members, is revolutionary and promises to provide mind-blowing results. While we wait for this tool to be available to a wider audience, it's important to remember that dating is an evolving story, and every action leads to a new scenario and new questions. So, keep asking and seeking advice, but also be prepared for the next step in your dating journey.
Communication and Boundaries in Dating: Communicating honestly and expressing discomfort while setting a comfortable alternative can build trust and respect in dating relationships, while also ensuring personal comfort. Effective communication and setting healthy boundaries reveal important information about the other person's respect for your feelings.
Effective communication and setting boundaries are essential in any relationship, even in the early stages of dating. Matthew AI, a voice-activated AI, was able to provide guidance on how to handle a delicate situation where a dater felt uncomfortable about going home with someone after only two dates. The AI suggested communicating honestly and expressing interest while setting a comfortable alternative. By setting boundaries and expressing feelings, the dater can build trust and respect in the relationship, while also ensuring personal comfort. Additionally, the response of the other person to these boundaries can reveal important information about their respect for the dater's feelings. Overall, effective communication and setting healthy boundaries are crucial for building strong and healthy relationships.
Texting tone in new relationships: Expressing enjoyment and suggesting future plans, or adding playful sexual tension can help maintain a positive and enjoyable tone in text messages during new relationships. AI tools like Matthew AI can provide suggestions and guidance for crafting effective and engaging messages.
Maintaining a positive and enjoyable tone in your text messages can help keep the momentum going in a new relationship. This could involve expressing your enjoyment of your time together and suggesting future plans, or adding a hint of playful sexual tension. The key is to be genuine and subtle, inviting curiosity and mystery without being too forward. Additionally, using AI tools like Matthew AI can provide helpful suggestions and guidance for crafting effective and engaging text messages. This technology, which has only been available to love life members until now, can be a valuable resource for those looking to enhance their communication skills and build stronger connections. So, go ahead and try asking Matthew AI your question to help improve your texting game. For more information, visit askmhfirst.com and join the early bird list.
AI-powered tool: New AI-tool, Ask Me Hans, offers instant access to expert guidance and explanations, acting as a personal wingman, suggesting actions, and even analyzing text conversations for suggested responses, available to public on September 4th
Ask Me Hans (AMH), a new AI-powered tool, will be available to the public on September 4th, providing users with instant access to explanations and guidance on various topics. Think of it as a personal wingman in your pocket, helping you understand complex concepts, suggesting actions, and even providing conversation starters. It can even analyze text conversations and suggest responses. This tool is incredibly practical and promises to blow your mind with its capabilities. For the first time, users will have access to expert guidance whenever they need it, giving them a unique advantage. Check out askmh.com for more information. I'm excited to hear your thoughts on this game-changing tool. I wish I could capture your reaction in real-time as it will surely be priceless. Due to my limited availability, this tool provides an opportunity for me to be there for you whenever you need assistance.