#18: Family Values - How To Break Free From Labels, Set Clear Boundaries & Live In Your Truth

How many of us have felt pressured at one time or another, to make sure our relationship was moving along at the so called "right time".

Many of us have had the thoughts, is this moving too quickly, are we falling behind, shouldn't we already be "there" (wherever there is) by now?!

As much as we know there is no one size fits all, and no one set timeline that can measure our relationships by, we can still so often fall into that trap of looking around us, seeing what everyone else is up to, and basing the success of our relationship how it looks compared to others, or what society in the western world has deemed a "successful" relationship .

In this episode I discuss all things relationship times, how to know when to take the next step, and make sure that you are both moving at a pace that is suited to YOUR relationship.

Instagram: @charlottejonespresents

Up until the summer of 2022, Sarah Valentine was living in New Zealand with her husband and trying to work on her marriage.

When Sarah's marriage ended and her world was turned upside down, she made the decision to share her story on social media, with the intent of helping other women who found themselves in a similar situation.

Sarah's vulnerability and transparency has reached hundreds  of thousands of women across the world, and helped them to feel less alone during one of the biggest transitions you can go through.

In this episode I discuss with Sarah why she thinks women often take so much of the responsibility when their relationship or marriage breaks down. We also chat about finding closure and acceptance when a marriage comes to an end and finally, how to live authentically and trust your decisions when it comes to love and relationships, even when others may not agree with your choices.

*Website: https://sarahvalentine.com/

*Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sasvalentine

*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sasvalentine/

"The spark", "instant chemistry", "butterflies", these are the markers that so many of us still mistakenly use in dating, when deciding how much we invest in someone.

In this episode, I discuss what those feelings can actually mean (spoiler, they aren't always to do with attraction!), I share my personal experiences with these feelings, and how they led me in to anxious relationships over healthy, happy and fulfilling ones.

I also share how to listen to your gut, and the difference between feeling numb and genuinely feeling no connection to someone new.

*Instagram: @charlottejonespresents

One of the most overwhelming and life changing parts of a divorce is splitting the assets and finances.

In a lot of marriages, there tends to be one person who is responsible for managing what money comes in and what goes out and if you aren't that person, you can feel like a rabbit in the headlights, not knowing where to turn or what to decide.

In this episode I chat with Ceri Griffiths, who is a divorce financial planner and who also holds financial abuse and narcissism qualifications.  

She is on a mission to remove the financial vulnerability and disadvantage divorcing women face, and her work in this area has been recognised through the many awards she has won, including Highly Commended Woman of the Year, Vulnerable Clients in the Women in Finance Awards 2022, and Financial Adviser of the Year, Wales in the Women in Finance Awards 2021.  She was one of Mo2vate magazines inspirational women in 2020 and a Finalist in the Global Changemakers Awards, Empowerment category.

Ceri is the founder of Willow Brook Lifestyle Financial Planning, as well as being a podcaster and You Tube host.  Her resources are an excellent way to build the foundations around all you need to know about finances and divorce.

Ceri breaks things down in such a simple and easy way and she discusses issues such as amicable does not mean compliant, financial abuse and controlling the finances, and how to make sure you are treated as an equal partner throughout the divorce process.

Learn more about Ceri:

*Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willowbrookfinancialplanning/

*Website: https://www.willowbrooklfp.co.uk/

*Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGPPeuh92jYho3uguEhrrmA?app=desktop

*All other links: https://smart.bio/willowbrookfinancialplanning/

The label "high maintenance" can take many different meanings, depending on who you ask, and usually it is not meant in the most positive light.

In this episode, I discuss what springs to mind when I hear the words "high maintenance", and how I have been associated with labels like this in the past.

When it comes to our romantic relationships there are definitely times when we can be more demanding than normal and there is no deflecting from that! But, there are times when when phrases such as high maintenance, needy and spoilt are used to deflect away from the other person in the relationship, who is not addressing their behaviour and the part they may be playing to cause someone to behave in a certain way.

Instagram: @charlottejonespresents

Grief comes in many forms, from the end of a relationship to the passing of a loved one. 

In this episode I speak with my brother Jon, to ask him how he used sports and exercise to cope with the death of our dad when we were 6 and 7 years old.

Jon discusses how taking up sports helped him to create a connection with our dad, how he learned to no longer need the praise we so often crave from our parents and using his experience to create a new career and help people build their self confidence, their self worth, and use exercise as an outlet to navigate the most difficult times in life.

Jon Freeman is a personal trainer and online fitness and nutrition coach. He set up his own Business, Limit Break Training, during the pandemic and now works with people across the globe to help them achieve their goals, fall in love with fitness and build their body confidence. 

Instagram: @limit_break_training
Website: www.limitbreaktraining.co.uk

@charlottejonespresents

There are so many factors when it comes to deciding who we find attractive in a romantic sense, and frustratingly, quite a few of these factors can distort how we view this topic.

In this episode, I discuss how important it is to find someone attractive if we are in a long term relationship with them, how our ego and the opinion of other's can impact who we find attractive and try to pursue in the hopes of finding long term happiness and finally, what does settling really mean? Could shifting the way we view this term have a positive impact on the way we decide who to be in a relationship with and find a happiness we could have been sabotaging by setting standards that are not only hard to meet, but do not impact how successful a relationship will be?

Instagram: @charlottejonespresents

Anyone who has ever used a dating app before will know, the process can feel anything but straightforward...

Through social media, it is become more and more common for people to share their experiences of dating, but often, it will be women and men sharing their views separately, and these posts are often negative or strongly driven by one particular view.

For a while now, I have been having conversations with my friend Toby, who has always been very open about his experience with dating apps over the years, the different approaches he has taken to trying to have a successful match with a woman and all the experiences that come along with it (both good and bad).

Toby very kindly agreed to let me record one of our conversations, to share his honest perspective on all things online dating. 

I love how honest and real Toby is from start to finish and I learned  a lot about how men can view and use these apps.

Instagram: @charlottejonespresents

We've all seen those couples on social media over the years, the couples who post constant mushy, loved up posts about each other, only to notice they have changed their relationship status to "single" a short while later.

Throughout my twenties, I was one of those people. 

I had such a strong need to make sure if anyone was going to be thinking or talking about my relationship, that they would be thinking and saying all the right things, and I would go to great lengths to make that happen (and not just by using social media).

In this episode I discuss where my need for perfectionism came from, what I did to make sure I no longer needed the validation of others to make big decisions and feel like my life was succeeding and how to trust that my own opinion and what I think of me and my relationship is the only opinion that matters.

Instagram: @charlottejonespresents

Divorce burnout is not a term I had heard until recently, but after looking into it, it was definitely something I had experienced and is not something to ignore.

In this episode I speak with Claire Black, who shares in depth the reasons why communication throughout the divorce process breaks down so easily, what can be done to help keep things amicable, why time is so important and how to spot the signs of divorce burnout.

Claire also shares how to find the positives in something as heartbreaking as a divorce.

Claire is a leading Break-up and Divorce Coach, and author of "Break-up: From Crisis to Confidence", the essential guide for anyone facing a sudden separation.  Claire offers bespoke coaching to support individuals through break-up, and to create new and vibrant lives.  She is a Master NLP Practitioner, divorcee and single parent to two teenage boys, as well as a former solicitor. Using all of her professional and personal experience, Claire has built a thriving coaching business, empowering clients all over the world to create fulfilling lives after break-up or divorce.

Website: https://www.claireblackcoaching.com/

Instagram: @claireblackdivorcecoach @charlottejonespresents