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    213. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield on Letting God Lead Your Mentoring Relationship, the Importance of Self-Care, & Varsity Level Apologizing

    enDecember 07, 2023
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    About this Episode

    Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC, is a national speaker, author, licensed professional counselor of 28 years, and founder of The Abba Project, a nine-month group forum for dads whose daughters are in their teens and 20’s. She writes guest articles regularly for journals and magazines (online and print), as well as her own bi-monthly Dad-
    Daughter Friday Blog, and has been interviewed on numerous radio and television programs.
    Her best-selling book, Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You: A Guide for Connecting With Your
    Daughter’s Heart, is followed by her most recent field guide for men, Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for
    Dads and Daughters (both available on Audible). She has also written contributing chapters in Fathers Say and How to Disciple Men.  Dr. Michelle is host of the award-winning The Dad Whisperer Podcast, which is available on her website and Apple + Google Podcasts, and Spotify. She also co-chairs the Father-Daughter Initiative at the National Center for Fathering with her husband, Dr. Ken Canfield. They reside in Fayetteville, Arkansas near their tribe of 24, which includes five children, three son-in-law’s, two daughter-in-laws, and 16 grandkids.

    Connect with Dr. Michelle Watson-Canfield:
    Email: drmichellewatson@gmail.com
    Office Phone: 503.244.6160
    Cell Phone: 503.476.5551
    Website: drmichellewatson.com
    Facebook: www.facebook.com/drmichellewatson
    Instagram: michellejwatson and thedadwhispererpodcast
    Twitter: @mwatsonphd
    YouTube: @thedadwhisperer

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    Recent Episodes from You Can Mentor

    Mentoring is Baseball // Mentoring Minute

    Mentoring is Baseball // Mentoring Minute

    Mentoring is Baseball


    Did you know that the average of every baseball player in the hall of fame is a combined .303. That means if you hit the ball 303 out of 1,000 times, you are considered one of the greatest baseball players of all time. That’s 697 misses!


    3 out of every 10 makes a great baseball player. And I could say the same is true for mentoring. 


    When I first became a mentor, I wanted a home run every time. I thought my mentee would love me and tell me how great I was and earn straight A’s while getting a full ride to Harvard. When those things didn’t happen, I got disappointed. 


    After a while, I adjusted my definition of success. 


    • Just hanging out wth my mentee was a basehit. A single, if you will. 
    • A smile was a double. 
    • A laugh was a triple. 
    • A solid conversation was a home run. 


    I focused on plate appearances, not homeruns. I trusted that the Lord would do what he does if I just kept getting up to the plate.


    3 out of every 10. If you can have a great hang out or deep conversation 3 out of every 10 times, I’d say that’ll put you in the mentoring hall of fame. 


    The more swings the better, as the more you swing, the more chances you get at contact. Just like the more you hang out with your mentee, the more chances you get at connecting. 


    Don’t worry about swinging for the fences or home runs. Just focus on taking your swings and seeing what happens. 


    Mentoring is Baseball. 

    222. Creating a Logic Model: Help Fundraise, Gain Clarity, & Build Team Unity with Kayce Strader of Save Nine Consulting

    222. Creating a Logic Model: Help Fundraise, Gain Clarity, & Build Team Unity with Kayce Strader of Save Nine Consulting

    Logic Model

     

    A logic model is a tool used by nonprofits to illustrate their impact. It is a one-page explanation of the connections between what you plan to put into a program and what you expect to deliver. It can serve as a powerful tool for focusing and articulating vision. It also serves as a built-in monitoring system to check in on programs, compare to goals, and make adjustments when needed. Finally, it can also increase donors and funders’ trust in the organization that is willing and able to strategically plan programs, measure their effectiveness, and prove the value of each investment.


    -- 

    The logic model does three main things:

    -    It connects the dots for donors and funders between what you say you need and what you promise to produce.

    -    It builds credibility for your organization because you clearly show the logic behind your decisions – why you decided to do what you do and how you can prove it worked.

    -    It unites the focus of staff around the key deliverables in a program.

    --

    They are usually constructed around just one program, with many nonprofits building a logic model for each major program they have. You can make a logic model for an existing or planned program.

     

    The Five Categories:

     

    Inputs:

     

    Nickname: The Recipe

    Question: What Do We Need?

     

    This category captures all you plan to put into the particular program. It includes materials, supplies, staff time, building usage, curriculum, in-kind donations, etc… anything it takes to make the program run. Think of it as “the recipe”.

     

    Activity:

     

    Nickname: The Action

    Question: What Will We Do With our Program?

     

    This is what you plan to do with all of the inputs to accomplishing your desired result. It is a straightforward listing of the activities you plan to do. This could include things like classroom instruction, live events, seminars, free lunches, etc. This is the action that you will do.

     

    Outputs:

     

    Nickname: The Results

     

    Question: What happened?

     

    This is what you expect to happen as a natural result of your activity. This is NOT a measure of effectiveness, but a measure of what happened. If the activity was to hand out fliers, your output would be number of fliers handed out. Many nonprofits focus on measuring and communicating outputs. If the activity was giving seminars around the world, an output could be number of miles flown by instructors. Outputs will almost always begin with “number of x.

     

    Outcomes:

     

    Nickname: The Change

     

    Question: What Good Did it Do?

     

    This is perhaps the most important element of the logic model. Outputs are the measurements that capture what changed from how things were before you did your activity. Strong outcomes will show positive changes in areas that logically connect to your program’s intended impact. These measurements require prior planning, because you will need baselines to illustrate where the population was before your intervention and where they are now as a direct result of your action. Outcomes will almost always start with “percentage change in x.”

     

    Impact:

     

    Nickname: The Hope

     

    Question: What Are We Going to Change?

     

    The impact portion of a logic model is a simple, straightforward statement explaining what you hope to see for this population 8-10 years from now. 

    --
    Find an example on our website under the tab "downloadables".
    --
    Contact Kayce at http://savenineconsulting.com/ and find out more at www.youcanmentor.com
    --
    Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 

    221. Identity Based vs. Skill Based Mentoring // Mentoring Minute

    221. Identity Based vs. Skill Based Mentoring // Mentoring Minute

    Identity-Based vs. Skill-Based Mentoring


    “Just like a good tool doesn’t make you a handy man. Knowing skills alone doesn’t fulfill your mentee’s potential” 


    Skill-based mentoring usually goes like this: 

    • Think of things you think your mentee should know
      • Shake a hand, tie a tie, resume, etc…
    • Teach them these things
    • Hope they use them to reach their full-potential

    --

    Skill-based mentoring is good, but I believe it is secondary to Identity-based mentoring


    Skills are no good if you’re mentee believes:

    • They lack intelligence or can't succeed
    • They will never amount to anything
    • They lack confidence, hope or have no self-value

    --


    Let’s start with identity-based mentoring first.

    • Help them see themselves how God sees them. 
    • Encourage, build up, & champion your mentee
    • Be the most encouraging person in the world

    --

    When they believe this, they will have intrinsic motivation to learn the skills. They will be hungry to become all that they can be because they believe in themselves and have someone believing in them. 


    Now that they believe they have worth and are capable of success, introduce the skills. 


    First identity. Then skills.

    --

    Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 
    Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.

    220. Connection over Content // Mentoring Minute

    220. Connection over Content // Mentoring Minute

    Connection over Content - Let's keep it simple:

    • Pursue Kids: Are you going after them?
    • Pursue Jesus: Are you staying filled up so you can pour out?

    -

    What does it mean to connect?

    • Are you reaching out consistently?
    • Are you interested in what they are interested in?
    • Are you remembering important issues in their life?
    • Are you showing up? Games, events, etc…
    • Are you speaking life? When they leave your presence, how do you want them to feel?

    -

    “A kid doesn’t care what you know until they know that you care” 

    Mentors who invested into us - Often, we don't remember what they said, but we remember them showing up. We remember how they made me feel. Content is good. Teaching them things. Books. Pods. It is good... but it’s secondary. 


    Connection is primary. 

    --

    Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 

    Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.


    219. "We Don't Have a Resource Problem. We Have a Connection Problem." with Paul Hemminger of The Mentoring Partnership

    218. We Need Your Help!

    218. We Need Your Help!

    Please give us a 5 star rating wherever you consume podcasts, visit our website, and join our mentoring network. Also, please share our information with anyone who you’d think would benefit from it. 

     

    If you’d like to share any ways we can best serve you, or if you’d like to join our podcast, please reach out to us at zach@youcanmentor.com. We’re here for any ideas, suggestions, or comments that you have.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    217. The Pain & Peace Cycle, Replacing Lies with Truth, and "Don't Say / Do Say" with Dr. Dee Dee Mayer

    217. The Pain & Peace Cycle, Replacing Lies with Truth, and "Don't Say / Do Say" with Dr. Dee Dee Mayer

    Dr Dee Dee Mayer is the RelateStrong Director for the Boone Center for the Family at Pepperdine University . She also continues to serve families and couples as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) through both in-person counseling and telehealth at Restoring Hope Therapy in Westlake Village, CA. She spent over 12 years at Oaks Christian School serving in various roles including Associate Head of School for Spiritual Life and Social Emotional Learning.

    She is a published author, radio personality, former television co-host and sought after public speaker.

    Dee Dee holds a masters degree in Social Work from California State University, Long Beach and a Doctorate in Ministry degree from Azusa Pacific University. Dee Dee has been married to Albert for 27 years and together they have three adult children.

    Most importantly, she loves the Lord and leading families, couples, and all people to the abundant life for which we are all designed!

    --

    The Boone Center for the Family helps communities within churches, academic institutions and Christian organizations by providing programs and training to empower the communities' leaders. We are lucky enough to have our programs underwritten by generous donations and grants, allowing us to offer them at a cost making them accessible to the widest possible audience.

    --

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    215. Using Your Network, Speaking Identity, & Sacrificial Mentoring: Mentoring at the Movies with Hustle

    215. Using Your Network, Speaking Identity, & Sacrificial Mentoring: Mentoring at the Movies with Hustle

    One of the best things about art is how it represents the human condition.  Movies in particular have a unique ability to comment on hot topic issues in a way that can be thought provoking and challenging.  Interestingly, there are plenty of movies in existence that contain some aspect of mentorship; an older figure guiding the next generation into adulthood.  This week John and Zach drop a new episode in a series about mentoring seen in different movies.  In discussing Hustle this week, they talk through different aspects of mentoring including using your network, speaking identity, sacrificial mentoring.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    214. The Power of Saying Yes, Eating a Meal Together, and Making Yourself Available to Listen with Michael Birkland

    214. The Power of Saying Yes, Eating a Meal Together, and Making Yourself Available to Listen with Michael Birkland

    The greatest gift you can give your mentee is your time.  Mentoring isn't about coming in, teaching somebody some life skills, and moving on.  Mentees are not "projects".  Mentoring is about relationships.  It's about coming in, pouring your wisdom and knowledge into somebody, and continuing to guide them through the next stage of their life.  While often that relationship is for a season, the impact of that relationship is for a lifetime; because relationships change lives.  The time you spend with your mentee communicates so much more than a life skill or other piece of practical wisdom, and the best way to foster that is by making yourself available.  This week, Michael Birkland joins Zach to talk through the power of saying yes to mentoring, how eating a meal together can change your mentoring relationship, and some practicals on how to make yourself available to listen.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

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