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    You Can Mentor

    You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show. Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
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    Episodes (223)

    Mentoring is Baseball // Mentoring Minute

    Mentoring is Baseball // Mentoring Minute

    Mentoring is Baseball


    Did you know that the average of every baseball player in the hall of fame is a combined .303. That means if you hit the ball 303 out of 1,000 times, you are considered one of the greatest baseball players of all time. That’s 697 misses!


    3 out of every 10 makes a great baseball player. And I could say the same is true for mentoring. 


    When I first became a mentor, I wanted a home run every time. I thought my mentee would love me and tell me how great I was and earn straight A’s while getting a full ride to Harvard. When those things didn’t happen, I got disappointed. 


    After a while, I adjusted my definition of success. 


    • Just hanging out wth my mentee was a basehit. A single, if you will. 
    • A smile was a double. 
    • A laugh was a triple. 
    • A solid conversation was a home run. 


    I focused on plate appearances, not homeruns. I trusted that the Lord would do what he does if I just kept getting up to the plate.


    3 out of every 10. If you can have a great hang out or deep conversation 3 out of every 10 times, I’d say that’ll put you in the mentoring hall of fame. 


    The more swings the better, as the more you swing, the more chances you get at contact. Just like the more you hang out with your mentee, the more chances you get at connecting. 


    Don’t worry about swinging for the fences or home runs. Just focus on taking your swings and seeing what happens. 


    Mentoring is Baseball. 

    222. Creating a Logic Model: Help Fundraise, Gain Clarity, & Build Team Unity with Kayce Strader of Save Nine Consulting

    222. Creating a Logic Model: Help Fundraise, Gain Clarity, & Build Team Unity with Kayce Strader of Save Nine Consulting

    Logic Model

     

    A logic model is a tool used by nonprofits to illustrate their impact. It is a one-page explanation of the connections between what you plan to put into a program and what you expect to deliver. It can serve as a powerful tool for focusing and articulating vision. It also serves as a built-in monitoring system to check in on programs, compare to goals, and make adjustments when needed. Finally, it can also increase donors and funders’ trust in the organization that is willing and able to strategically plan programs, measure their effectiveness, and prove the value of each investment.


    -- 

    The logic model does three main things:

    -    It connects the dots for donors and funders between what you say you need and what you promise to produce.

    -    It builds credibility for your organization because you clearly show the logic behind your decisions – why you decided to do what you do and how you can prove it worked.

    -    It unites the focus of staff around the key deliverables in a program.

    --

    They are usually constructed around just one program, with many nonprofits building a logic model for each major program they have. You can make a logic model for an existing or planned program.

     

    The Five Categories:

     

    Inputs:

     

    Nickname: The Recipe

    Question: What Do We Need?

     

    This category captures all you plan to put into the particular program. It includes materials, supplies, staff time, building usage, curriculum, in-kind donations, etc… anything it takes to make the program run. Think of it as “the recipe”.

     

    Activity:

     

    Nickname: The Action

    Question: What Will We Do With our Program?

     

    This is what you plan to do with all of the inputs to accomplishing your desired result. It is a straightforward listing of the activities you plan to do. This could include things like classroom instruction, live events, seminars, free lunches, etc. This is the action that you will do.

     

    Outputs:

     

    Nickname: The Results

     

    Question: What happened?

     

    This is what you expect to happen as a natural result of your activity. This is NOT a measure of effectiveness, but a measure of what happened. If the activity was to hand out fliers, your output would be number of fliers handed out. Many nonprofits focus on measuring and communicating outputs. If the activity was giving seminars around the world, an output could be number of miles flown by instructors. Outputs will almost always begin with “number of x.

     

    Outcomes:

     

    Nickname: The Change

     

    Question: What Good Did it Do?

     

    This is perhaps the most important element of the logic model. Outputs are the measurements that capture what changed from how things were before you did your activity. Strong outcomes will show positive changes in areas that logically connect to your program’s intended impact. These measurements require prior planning, because you will need baselines to illustrate where the population was before your intervention and where they are now as a direct result of your action. Outcomes will almost always start with “percentage change in x.”

     

    Impact:

     

    Nickname: The Hope

     

    Question: What Are We Going to Change?

     

    The impact portion of a logic model is a simple, straightforward statement explaining what you hope to see for this population 8-10 years from now. 

    --
    Find an example on our website under the tab "downloadables".
    --
    Contact Kayce at http://savenineconsulting.com/ and find out more at www.youcanmentor.com
    --
    Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 

    221. Identity Based vs. Skill Based Mentoring // Mentoring Minute

    221. Identity Based vs. Skill Based Mentoring // Mentoring Minute

    Identity-Based vs. Skill-Based Mentoring


    “Just like a good tool doesn’t make you a handy man. Knowing skills alone doesn’t fulfill your mentee’s potential” 


    Skill-based mentoring usually goes like this: 

    • Think of things you think your mentee should know
      • Shake a hand, tie a tie, resume, etc…
    • Teach them these things
    • Hope they use them to reach their full-potential

    --

    Skill-based mentoring is good, but I believe it is secondary to Identity-based mentoring


    Skills are no good if you’re mentee believes:

    • They lack intelligence or can't succeed
    • They will never amount to anything
    • They lack confidence, hope or have no self-value

    --


    Let’s start with identity-based mentoring first.

    • Help them see themselves how God sees them. 
    • Encourage, build up, & champion your mentee
    • Be the most encouraging person in the world

    --

    When they believe this, they will have intrinsic motivation to learn the skills. They will be hungry to become all that they can be because they believe in themselves and have someone believing in them. 


    Now that they believe they have worth and are capable of success, introduce the skills. 


    First identity. Then skills.

    --

    Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 
    Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.

    220. Connection over Content // Mentoring Minute

    220. Connection over Content // Mentoring Minute

    Connection over Content - Let's keep it simple:

    • Pursue Kids: Are you going after them?
    • Pursue Jesus: Are you staying filled up so you can pour out?

    -

    What does it mean to connect?

    • Are you reaching out consistently?
    • Are you interested in what they are interested in?
    • Are you remembering important issues in their life?
    • Are you showing up? Games, events, etc…
    • Are you speaking life? When they leave your presence, how do you want them to feel?

    -

    “A kid doesn’t care what you know until they know that you care” 

    Mentors who invested into us - Often, we don't remember what they said, but we remember them showing up. We remember how they made me feel. Content is good. Teaching them things. Books. Pods. It is good... but it’s secondary. 


    Connection is primary. 

    --

    Please follow @youcanmentor on social media and give us a 5 star rating! If you are a part of a mentoring organization, we'd love to get to know you! Please reach out to us and we can spotlight your org on the pod or on our website. 

    Contact us at zach@youcanmentor.com or at www.youcanmentor.com.


    219. "We Don't Have a Resource Problem. We Have a Connection Problem." with Paul Hemminger of The Mentoring Partnership

    218. We Need Your Help!

    218. We Need Your Help!

    Please give us a 5 star rating wherever you consume podcasts, visit our website, and join our mentoring network. Also, please share our information with anyone who you’d think would benefit from it. 

     

    If you’d like to share any ways we can best serve you, or if you’d like to join our podcast, please reach out to us at zach@youcanmentor.com. We’re here for any ideas, suggestions, or comments that you have.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    217. The Pain & Peace Cycle, Replacing Lies with Truth, and "Don't Say / Do Say" with Dr. Dee Dee Mayer

    217. The Pain & Peace Cycle, Replacing Lies with Truth, and "Don't Say / Do Say" with Dr. Dee Dee Mayer

    Dr Dee Dee Mayer is the RelateStrong Director for the Boone Center for the Family at Pepperdine University . She also continues to serve families and couples as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) through both in-person counseling and telehealth at Restoring Hope Therapy in Westlake Village, CA. She spent over 12 years at Oaks Christian School serving in various roles including Associate Head of School for Spiritual Life and Social Emotional Learning.

    She is a published author, radio personality, former television co-host and sought after public speaker.

    Dee Dee holds a masters degree in Social Work from California State University, Long Beach and a Doctorate in Ministry degree from Azusa Pacific University. Dee Dee has been married to Albert for 27 years and together they have three adult children.

    Most importantly, she loves the Lord and leading families, couples, and all people to the abundant life for which we are all designed!

    --

    The Boone Center for the Family helps communities within churches, academic institutions and Christian organizations by providing programs and training to empower the communities' leaders. We are lucky enough to have our programs underwritten by generous donations and grants, allowing us to offer them at a cost making them accessible to the widest possible audience.

    --

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    215. Using Your Network, Speaking Identity, & Sacrificial Mentoring: Mentoring at the Movies with Hustle

    215. Using Your Network, Speaking Identity, & Sacrificial Mentoring: Mentoring at the Movies with Hustle

    One of the best things about art is how it represents the human condition.  Movies in particular have a unique ability to comment on hot topic issues in a way that can be thought provoking and challenging.  Interestingly, there are plenty of movies in existence that contain some aspect of mentorship; an older figure guiding the next generation into adulthood.  This week John and Zach drop a new episode in a series about mentoring seen in different movies.  In discussing Hustle this week, they talk through different aspects of mentoring including using your network, speaking identity, sacrificial mentoring.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    214. The Power of Saying Yes, Eating a Meal Together, and Making Yourself Available to Listen with Michael Birkland

    214. The Power of Saying Yes, Eating a Meal Together, and Making Yourself Available to Listen with Michael Birkland

    The greatest gift you can give your mentee is your time.  Mentoring isn't about coming in, teaching somebody some life skills, and moving on.  Mentees are not "projects".  Mentoring is about relationships.  It's about coming in, pouring your wisdom and knowledge into somebody, and continuing to guide them through the next stage of their life.  While often that relationship is for a season, the impact of that relationship is for a lifetime; because relationships change lives.  The time you spend with your mentee communicates so much more than a life skill or other piece of practical wisdom, and the best way to foster that is by making yourself available.  This week, Michael Birkland joins Zach to talk through the power of saying yes to mentoring, how eating a meal together can change your mentoring relationship, and some practicals on how to make yourself available to listen.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    213. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield on Letting God Lead Your Mentoring Relationship, the Importance of Self-Care, & Varsity Level Apologizing

    213. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield on Letting God Lead Your Mentoring Relationship, the Importance of Self-Care, & Varsity Level Apologizing

    Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC, is a national speaker, author, licensed professional counselor of 28 years, and founder of The Abba Project, a nine-month group forum for dads whose daughters are in their teens and 20’s. She writes guest articles regularly for journals and magazines (online and print), as well as her own bi-monthly Dad-
    Daughter Friday Blog, and has been interviewed on numerous radio and television programs.
    Her best-selling book, Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You: A Guide for Connecting With Your
    Daughter’s Heart, is followed by her most recent field guide for men, Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for
    Dads and Daughters (both available on Audible). She has also written contributing chapters in Fathers Say and How to Disciple Men.  Dr. Michelle is host of the award-winning The Dad Whisperer Podcast, which is available on her website and Apple + Google Podcasts, and Spotify. She also co-chairs the Father-Daughter Initiative at the National Center for Fathering with her husband, Dr. Ken Canfield. They reside in Fayetteville, Arkansas near their tribe of 24, which includes five children, three son-in-law’s, two daughter-in-laws, and 16 grandkids.

    Connect with Dr. Michelle Watson-Canfield:
    Email: drmichellewatson@gmail.com
    Office Phone: 503.244.6160
    Cell Phone: 503.476.5551
    Website: drmichellewatson.com
    Facebook: www.facebook.com/drmichellewatson
    Instagram: michellejwatson and thedadwhispererpodcast
    Twitter: @mwatsonphd
    YouTube: @thedadwhisperer

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    212. The Characteristics and Dynamics of One-on-One, Small Group, and Organizational Mentoring

    212. The Characteristics and Dynamics of One-on-One, Small Group, and Organizational Mentoring

    Mentoring can come in all shapes and sizes.  It can come when it's least expected or it can be intentionally sought out by either the mentor or the mentee.  It can be as simple as meeting intentionally with a student in your neighborhood on a regular basis, or partnering with a local non-profit mentoring organization to pour into one or more students at the same time.  Each mentoring relationship is unique, but the specific type of mentoring relationship tends to have similar characteristics and dynamics as other relationships of the same type.  This week, Zach and John hop on the pod to discuss the differences and similarities in characteristics and dynamics of mentoring relationships in a one-on-one, group, and organizational setting. 

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    211. 8 Types of Mentors, Why Mentoring is a Team Sport, and Style Week

    211. 8 Types of Mentors, Why Mentoring is a Team Sport, and Style Week

    Everybody has a unique personality.  Their life experiences, worldview, and socioeconomic status influence how they interact with other people and relate to one another.  That personality in turn affects how a mentor interacts with their mentee: their "style" of mentoring.  Some are encouragers.  Some are challengers.  Some are networkers.  There's many different styles of mentoring, and they each have their own unique strengths and weaknesses.  This week, Zach and John hop on the pod to talk about the different "styles" of mentoring, why mentoring is a team sport and not just something you can do on your own, and "style week".

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    210. Why I Mentor with De'Onte Garrett from Mentoring Alliance

    210. Why I Mentor with De'Onte Garrett from Mentoring Alliance

    Every mentor has a different story.  They come from different backgrounds, experience different things in life, and can bring unique elements to the table in a mentoring relationship.  The organization they get plugged into for support also affects the ways in which they mentor through different trainings, mentoring philosophies, and equipping.  That's why asking a mentor their why is so important.  Each mentor has a different reason for pouring into the next generation; to volunteer their time to help guide a child into adulthood.  Recently, You Can Mentor had a series hosted by the editor asking each of Forerunner Mentoring's coaches what their "why" behind the job was.  This week, John takes it to the next step to bring fresh perspectives in.  De'Onte Garrett, the Director of Mentor Connect at the Mentoring Alliance in Tyler, TX joins him to discuss his childhood, the mentors that poured into him growing up, and his why behind mentoring.

    Connect with The Mentoring Alliance:
    https://thementoringalliance.com/

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    209. Lessons on Longevity with Coach and Athletic Director Lanny Williams

    209. Lessons on Longevity with Coach and Athletic Director Lanny Williams

    Effective mentoring means being in it for the long haul.  It means continuing to show up and pour into the mentee, even through the hard times, offense, and dry spells.  It means doing whatever it takes to meet the needs of the mentee.  Mentoring well means showing constant, sacrificial, self-less love for the mentee.  But effective mentoring is also draining.  Continually showing up like that can drain everything you have; especially when you don't feel like you're starting to see any fruit from your time with your mentee.  That is why longevity in mentoring is important.  It's how you can continue to press in when mentoring gets difficult.  Coach and Athletic Director Lanny Williams joins John this week to talk about the mentors in his life, the lessons he's learned in mentoring about longevity, some stories of kids he's impacted reaching out years later to thank him, and how we, as mentors, can set ourselves up to be in it for the long haul.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    208. The Dangers of Taking Offense, How to Stay in the Mentoring Game for the Long Haul, and Keeping the Main Things the Main Things

    208. The Dangers of Taking Offense, How to Stay in the Mentoring Game for the Long Haul, and Keeping the Main Things the Main Things

    Offense, or taking things personally, is one of the most common tactics the Enemy uses to tear down relationships.  When somebody feels hurt in a relationship, their tendency is to pull away and isolate, which then leads to an even greater rift between the two parties.  This is true for all relationships, but mentoring relationships have the tendency to experience this on a much more frequent scale.  Oftentimes, the mentee is testing the relationship to see exactly how much the mentor will tolerate before they leave.  Because of this, it's so critical that a mentor can navigate the mentoring relationship without taking offense; because offending things WILL happen.  Zach and John are together on the podcast this week to talk through the dangers of taking offense, some practicals on how to avoid becoming offended in the mentoring relationship, how to stay in the mentoring game for the long haul, and what it looks like to focus the relationship on the main things.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    207. How to Leave a Mentee With Abandonment Issues, Starting with the End in Mind, and Helping Your Mentee Process Their Past

    207. How to Leave a Mentee With Abandonment Issues, Starting with the End in Mind, and Helping Your Mentee Process Their Past

    Most mentoring relationships come to an end at some point.  Life circumstances change, you or your mentee move away, or some other event occurs that makes it impossible to continue the formal mentoring relationship in the same way.  In doing so, however, ending a mentoring relationship can be a challenge, especially when the mentee has a history of struggling with feelings of abandonment.  You, as the mentor, become just another person in a long list of people who have abandoned them.  So how do you navigate that?  How do you set your mentoring relationship up for success and communicate to your mentee that you leaving has nothing to do with them and that you still love them?  Zach and John take on this issue in today’s episode where they discuss the challenges that ending a mentoring relationship well can face and how to navigate those challenges.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    206. The Power of Owning Your Story with Kevin Harris from Radical Mentoring

    206. The Power of Owning Your Story with Kevin Harris from Radical Mentoring

    Everybody has a story to tell.  They have a past, a present, and a future.  They have significant elements to their story that shapes them into who they are today.  Telling that story, however, isn't always easy.  Sometimes those elements include trauma or suppressed memories.  Even so, your testimony is a powerful tool.  Through it, healing can come to others who have gone through similar experiences; especially if you have already received that healing.  This week, Kevin Harris from Radical Mentoring joins Zach to talk through the power of owning your story and how it can be leveraged in both a one on one mentoring setting as well as a group mentoring setting.

    Connect with Kevin:
    kevin@radicalmentoring.com
    (770) 710-7596

    Learn More about Radical Mentoring
    https://radicalmentoring.com/

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    205. What To Do When Your Mentoring Transitions Into Discipleship - Discipleship Top 10

    205. What To Do When Your Mentoring Transitions Into Discipleship - Discipleship Top 10

    As relationships evolve, the roles can change frequently.  Parenting a toddler looks much differently than parenting a teen.  Children oftentimes become the primary caregiver of their aging parents.  The same holds true for mentoring relationships.  What started as a mentor match can evolve into a discipleship relationship for the mentee.  As the mentee is led towards the cross, the mentor is better able to start teaching them how to live a life like Jesus.  In order to do that, however, there are some points to keep in mind.  This week, John and Zach take a rapid-fire approach to discussing the top 10 things to keep in mind as your mentoring relationship transitions into a discipleship relationship.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

    204. Is Mentoring Discipleship?

    204. Is Mentoring Discipleship?

    If you look in the Bible, there isn't one mention of the word "mentor".  However, you can find the word "discipleship" all over the place.  As Christians, we're called to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you." (Matthew 28:19-20)  But, if you look at mentorship and discipleship, aren't they really just two words that mean the same thing?  After all, both involve life on life and a younger person learning from an older, wiser influence.  So, is it just semantics?  Join John and Zach this week as they pontificate about the similarities and differences of mentorship versus discipleship, what it means to be a faith-based mentor, and how we can be more intentional about discipling within our mentoring relationships.

    Purchase John's Book:
    Mephibosheth! The Search for Identity, Purpose, and Community


    Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
    You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses

    youcanmentor.com 

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