Picture this: You’ve recently become energized, excited, and inspired by a new dream or goal. You’re enthralled with it. OBSESSED. The energy is buzzing around in your head and so many ideas are coming to you that you can hardly keep up.
Then, it happens. It hits you like a ton of bricks. You start to wonder what your family will think. You wonder what your current co-workers and bosses will think. You may wonder what your significant other and friends may think.
Suddenly, you start to shrink. You get a pit in your stomach. Self-doubt creeps in and you wonder, “who am I to do this thing, anyway? What will people think?”
How many times have you backed down on an endeavor or dream because of what people might think?
How many times have you played small because of what other people might think?
Guess what? Other people’s opinions do not pay your bills. Other people’s opinions do not fulfill your soul and your dreams. And as the great Dr. Wayne Dyer always said, “Other people’s opinions are none of my business”.
Your mom’s opinion of your soul’s path does not matter. Your boss’ opinion doesn’t matter. Neither does your friend, your neighbor’s or your aunt’s. This is all you, sister. This is yours to claim.
So, how do you overcome this urge to shrink to make other people feel more comfortable?
There are a couple of things at play here:
1.Self-confidence
Confidence is a huge factor. You have to be the biggest supporter of your goals and dreams. Trust me, if you aren’t, no one is going to do this for you. Did you know that the most important factor in achieving your goal is the belief that it’s possible? Think about that. If you don’t even have belief that you can achieve something, then you won’t do it. Period!
2.Trust in yourself & your intuition
At some point, the inner knowing to follow your heart will become so strong that you will have no choice but to take action. Trust that everything is working out in your favor.
3.How are you spending your time and who are you spending it with?
We all know that we become most like the people we spend our time with. Being aware and strategic about how much time and energy we invest into people will massively impact your own energy levels. This is one of the most important things. We can’t always control this (like my office-mate example) but to the level that we allow other people’s energy to influence our own IS a choice. It’s important to be very aware of this.
4 Steps You Can Stop Internalizing Other People's Opinions
1. First of all, embody this idea that other people’s opinions do not pave the way to your dreams. Write it down. Remember this thought and use it when you are feeling fearful to show up in your life in the most authentic and aligned way.
2. Build your confidence by focusing on just ONE goal. Just pick one. Go back and listen to episode 1 of this podcast because I talk about this strategy in depth. The idea is to build your goal setting & management confidence by choosing one goal, going all in on that one goal, and taking steps day by day, little by little, and gradually building your confidence. Trust me. This works.
While we are at it, don’t tell anyone about this goal. Nothing kills your goal confidence like telling someone about it and then worrying about what they think. This is natural to do but don't do it. Don't tell people your plans, show them your results. This is really important and effective.
3. Trust yourself. I always talk about the importance of mindfulness and some type of daily activity to become aligned and develop your relationship with self and that inner knowing.
Book Recommendation - "The Knowing" by Serena and Saje Dyer
4. Audit who you spend your time with and how much time you’re spending with them. How are these people impacting your energy, your confidence and your self-belief? Look, at the end of the day, you choose how you will let other people influence you. However, if someone is not matching your energetic vibration, yes, vibration, seriously limit your time with them. You’re serious about your one thing or your goal right? Then, don’t allow negative energy that doesn’t match yours to take up too much space in your life.
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