How many times per day do you have the thought there isn’t enough?
As a solo mom, this can be all too familiar. In a world that has limitless options and resources, it’s tempting to get caught up in a cycle of never-enougness. Further, we spend so much time peeking into the lives of other people via social media, we compare ourselves to the highlight reel of others.
On today’s episode, I’m sharing insight around scarcity vs abundance mindset with you. This is some of the most life changing work that a single mom can learn.
Let’s face it, as single moms, we are often faced with greater barriers and limitations than others. We often do have to make more work with less, at least in the beginning.
Learning how to master your mindset and your thoughts will bring you peace, increased energy, more patience with your child(ren), a greater sense of presence, less stress and will take so much further than you could have ever imagined.
First, let’s examine what the differences are in a scarcity mindset and an abundance mindset and how these differ as a single mom. It’s important to note that your mindset is based around the thoughts that you’re thinking. Did you know that on average, we humans think roughly 60,000 thoughts per day?
Do you have an awareness of the thoughts you’re thinking? Many people are living their lives on autopilot without any true awareness. It’s important to remember that the thoughts we think are a choice.
It’s also important to remember that many of the thoughts that are running on autopilot within your mind weren’t even created by you in the first place. Many of these thoughts were adopted and recycled from your family environment as a very young child. Oftentimes, if we haven’t done this inner work, we are carrying around the thoughts and beliefs of our parents or other relatives, and we don’t even realize it.
Scarcity Mindset
A scarcity mindset is one that is based in lack, or, not enough. When in a scarcity based mindset, resources are limited. You are competing for resources with other people, yourself, or forces that are seemingly beyond your control (such as time and energy).
When you are thinking in a scarcity based mindset, it doesn’t feel good. You feel anxious, stressed, worried, exhausted and hopeless.
When you’re thinking in a scarcity based mindset, it doesn’t matter how much sleep you got the night before, how authentically you connected with your child(ren) or how much money you’re making. It will never be enough.
Your brain will be scanning for the next thing on the horizon that indicates another void.
Abundance Mindset
An abundance mindset is the opposite of a scarcity mindset. When your mindset and thoughts are based in abundance, you trust that there always has been and always will be enough. You trust that you don’t need to compete with others because there is enough for everyone. You trust that everything you have right now is enough. You trust that there is always more on the way.
For example, if you feel like you don’t have enough, or your ideal amount of money right now, you trust that you have enough for today. You have enough to meet all of your needs and the needs of your children. You also trust that there is a limitless supply of money for you to access.
Another example is with time. Many solo moms feel like there isn’t enough time in the day to do all of the things they need and want to do. This is super understandable right? Well, when your mindset is based in abundance, you approach time differently. You understand that you have the exact same amount of time in the day as everyone else in the world. You know that you have enough time for everything you want to do. You might need to be a little more strategic about it, but there is enough.
Thinking in an abundance mindset feels amazing. Did you notice that I used the word, “trust”, numerous times when describing an abundance mindset? This is because when you’re in this state, you learn to trust whatever you believe in. Whether it’s religious, spiritual, or downright practical you trust that the perfect amount of resources are available to you at all times. You learn to surrender. You let go of the stress, worry and overwhelm.
When you learn to trust and surrender and let go of the stress, worry and overwhelm, you create space for abundance. Abundance always feels good. It’s energetic, it’s bright and clean, and it’s full of hope and optimism.
Think about the energy difference behind what I described in scarcity thinking versus mindset. Do you feel that shift?
One of the key things to note here is that your external circumstances don’t need change to completely take on this new perspective. You can shift from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset in a matter of seconds or minutes.
Now that you have an understanding of the difference between a scarcity and abundance mindset, think about the environment you grew up in? Did you grow up in a household where a scarcity mindset was prevalent or an abundance mindset?
If you haven’t done inner work to intentionally create your mindset, you’re likely still carrying around those same beliefs and thoughts that were ingrained within you as a young child.
Tips for Shifting from a Scarcity Mindset to an Abundance Mindset
Ok, so let’s talk about what you can do to shift from being in a scarcity based mindset to an abundance based mindset.
1. The first step with any mindset related work is to first take stock of where you are today. It’s time to get introspective. I encourage you to spend some time journaling or riffing on a voice memo within the next two days. Write down or talk about your thoughts as they relate to the following areas:
- Money
- Time
- Energy
- Relationships
- Resources
- Parenting capabilities
Be natural and speak from the heart as you are today. After you’re done, review what you’ve written or recorded. Identify whether your thoughts and beliefs are based in scarcity or abundance. They might be different for different areas of your life.
It should be easy to determine whether you're in a scarcity versus abundance mindset based on the way you feel. A scarcity mindset feels like resistance and an abundance mindset feels like a flow state.
2. Next, choose one area that you would like to actively create an abundance mindset around. Let’s say that it’s money. I choose money because it’s a common one that people feel scarce around, especially as a single mom.
Once you have chosen your topic, I want you to create 3 new intentional thoughts to practice. Here are three examples:
-I take comfort in knowing that I have enough money for everything I need today.
-I have enough money, and I allow what I already have enough of to flow to me. (DWD)
-Money is a renewable resource that is available to everyone. My children and I always have had and always will have enough.
Once you choose your 3 new abundance based beliefs, write them down and read them every day. Incorporate them into your daily routine so that they become fully ingrained. When you feel scarcity based thoughts coming back up, pause and close your eyes. Remember your new abundance based thoughts.
Don’t just think your new thoughts, but allow yourself to truly feel them. Allow yourself the space throughout the day to truly embody these new thoughts. Don’t just go through the motions and think them with a sarcastic undertone. These thoughts are going to become your new beliefs and you must approach this with true authenticity.
3. Incorporate meditation (or intentional silence) into your daily routine. I’ve said this before, I’ll say it again and I’ll definitely say it in the future. Meditation is one of the most beneficial things you can do to improve your life and the lives of your children.
Since the best way to determine whether you’re in a scarcity of abundance based mindset is to notice what you’re thinking and how you feel, meditation is the perfect accompaniment to practice on this journey.
When you meditate, your world of never ending to-do lists slows down. The stress, worry and overwhelm comes to a halt. You become aligned with the present moment and this is where the magic happens. You truly begin to become attuned to how you are feeling and what you’re thinking.
Use this as an opportunity to feel the abundance around you. Even if you cannot see it in your life yet, allow yourself to acknowledge, feel and appreciate all of the abundance in your life now. Appreciate the endless things you do have and notice that abundance is already all around you.
This is transformational work that can be done in a matter of minutes. When you open your eyes, you’ll feel more connected to your child(ren) and the stress, worry, anxiety and overwhelm will have subsided - even if it’s just for a moment!
It’s important to note that meditation is a practice. It’s like working out for your mind. It needs to be continuously done and some days will be better than others. Be patient and consistent with yourself.
4. When you observe a thought or belief that is based in scarcity coming up, stop and write it down. Examine it. Where did it come from? Why do you believe this? Is this thought or belief serving you?
Chances are, this thought or belief is not serving you and it’s time to transform it into its abundance based counterpart. Re-write the thought or belief with an abundance based energy behind it. Practice intentionally thinking this new thought or belief.
5. Practice gratitude. The concept of practicing gratitude has been thrown around in personal development and spirituality communities for a long time. It may be tempting to brush this off but please don’t.
When you’re in a low energy state of scarcity and you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed, take a few minutes to express gratitude for three things. This can be any three things, it doesn’t matter what.
When you’re expressing gratitude, make sure that you are truly feeling it in your body. Allow it to consume you. It’s impossible to feel like you’re in scarcity when your entire body is immersed in a feeling of gratitude.
Also, remember that like attracts like. You don’t get what you want, you get what you are. That is one of my favorite quotes by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Your energy, whether it’s based in scarcity or abundance, is going to attract more of the same. This is why practicing gratitude is so powerful.
Another way you can shift your energy quickly is when you’re feeling the low energy of a scarcity mindset, stop and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Notice that you are thinking thoughts that are based on lack.
Now, think of 3 things that are based in gratitude or abundance on that topic. For example, if you are feeling frustrated with your partner based on things they are not doing, stop to acknowledge and appreciate 3 things they are doing. You will be amazed at how quickly your energy elevates to abundance.
Honestly, I wonder what my life would have been like if I would have learned about scarcity and abundance mindsets ten or fifteen years ago. My son is almost 16. I didn’t learn about this and begin applying it to my own life until 3 years ago. If I would have learned about it 16 years ago, the experience of being a solo mom would have been radically different.
However, I don’t like to dwell on what could have been. The fact of the matter is that that was not my reality or my experience. I am grateful that I have since learned this transformational mindset work and can share it with you.
Before I learned how to shift my mindset from being based in scarcity to being based in abundance, I would go down rabbit holes of stress, worry, anxiety and overwhelm. Honestly, I probably worried myself sick at points.
There was often a disconnect between my son and I. My energy was often feeling low. I felt like a failure because I felt like there wasn’t enough.
Once I began to practice the 5 tips I shared with you today, things improved so much. My son and I share a much deeper and aligned connection. I’m more patient with him. I trust that as a solo mom, I am enough. I trust that things happened this way because they were meant to. I trust that this is our story and it’s unfolding perfectly.
When feelings of money scarcity come up, and they still do, I practice the steps I shared with you today. I have the self-awareness to recognize it’s happening. Instead of spiraling out into worry, stress and anxiety, I flip the script.
I create a new empowering thought or belief. I surrender. I trust. I practice gratitude for all of the abundance in my life today. I shift my energy because I remember that like attracts like.
When feelings of time scarcity, money scarcity or any other types of scarcity come up, I do the same. I can tell you, it’s made my life experience a hell of a lot better.
As solo moms, we often feel like our resources are finite. We often feel like the cards are stacked against us. This is not true. Although we may have a few more things to strategically manage, all of the abundance is available to us at all times.
Remember, that at any given moment, you can choose a new thought or new belief. You can choose empowerment. You can choose alignment. You can choose happiness and peace. Empowerment and abundance is always just one thought away.
