Podcast Summary
Revolutionizing solutions for common problems: 3rdlove introduces half cup sizes and virtual fitting rooms for comfortable bras, while Pampers offers gentle diaper solutions and free wipes for healthy baby skin. The speakers shared stories of overcoming feelings of rejection and emphasized the importance of belonging and connection.
Both 3rdlove and Pampers understand the importance of solving common problems for their customers. 3rdlove revolutionized the bra industry by introducing half cup sizes and virtual fitting rooms, ensuring a comfortable and stylish fit for everyone. Pampers, on the other hand, offers gentle and protective diaper solutions with their Swaddlers diapers and free and gentle wipes, keeping babies' skin healthy and happy. Additionally, the discussion touched upon the feeling of being left out and the impact it can have on individuals, both as children and adults. The speakers shared personal stories of experiencing rejection and isolation, emphasizing the importance of belonging and the significance of overcoming these feelings. In summary, both 3rdlove and Pampers provide innovative solutions to common problems, while the conversation highlighted the emotional impact of being left out and the importance of connection and belonging.
The Power of Belonging and Acceptance: Feeling excluded or unliked can trigger a deep-rooted response similar to physical pain, emphasizing the importance of inclusivity and acceptance for emotional well-being.
Our need to belong and feel accepted is a deep-rooted human instinct that can significantly impact our self-worth and emotional well-being. This need, which Maslow identified as a fundamental human need, has evolutionary origins as isolation used to equate to death for our ancestors. Even in modern society, being excluded or left out can trigger the same physical response as physical pain. The speaker's childhood experience of feeling excluded and unliked left a lasting impact on her, making her highly inclusive and empathetic towards others who may experience similar feelings. This experience informed her approach to relationships and interactions, making her more aware of the importance of inclusivity and acceptance.
Coping with exclusion through unique mechanisms: Individuals adapt to feelings of exclusion in unique ways, which can include a strong inclination towards inclusiveness or the creation of imaginary friends or dissociation, helping them navigate and survive in challenging social environments.
Experiencing exclusion and feeling left out can lead individuals to develop unique coping mechanisms that become valuable survival skills in their lives. For some, like Abby, this might manifest in a strong inclination towards inclusiveness. For others, like the speaker, it could lead to the creation of an imaginary friend or the use of dissociation as a means of escape. These adaptations, however unconventional, help individuals navigate and survive in challenging social environments. Additionally, the discussion highlights the universality of the experience of being left out and the importance of discovering and utilizing personal resources to cope with feelings of exclusion and hurt.
Dealing with feelings of exclusion and finding comfort within: Remember your internal resources for happiness and cope with exclusion through empathy and understanding
Rejection and feelings of being left out can be difficult to cope with, but it's important to remember that we have the internal resources to help us through these experiences. We all have our own "Vuori clothing" - things that bring us comfort and happiness, no matter what external circumstances may change. In the case of the podcast hosts, it's their love for Vuori clothing. The hosts also discussed the complex dynamics of exclusion and how it can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. In the story shared, Alice's desire to exclude Amy from an invitation led to a misunderstanding and uncomfortable situation. It's important to consider the feelings of all parties involved and strive for empathy and understanding in these situations. Vuori is offering a deal for our listeners to invest in their own happiness with comfortable and versatile clothing at viore.com/hardthings.
Understanding and addressing fears of exclusion: Adults can help children communicate feelings of exclusion and develop empathy, leading to deeper bonds and a more inclusive social environment.
Fear of being left out can be a significant factor in children's social dynamics, often leading to misunderstandings and feelings of exclusion. In the discussed situation, two girls, Alice and Amy, both had fears of being left out, but they expressed it in ways that appeared mean or exclusive to each other. However, when the root cause was uncovered, they were able to work together to ensure everyone's inclusion. This experience highlights the importance of adults helping children develop a language to discuss and address feelings of exclusion and left outedness. By fostering open communication and empathy, children can learn to negotiate these situations themselves, leading to deeper bonds and a more inclusive social environment.
Balancing own needs and including others: Teach children to express needs kindly and respectfully to navigate social situations and build stronger relationships.
People's social choices are not always about others being worthy or unworthy, but rather about fulfilling their own needs in the moment. This concept can be applied to various situations, including children learning to include others while also recognizing the importance of their own needs. The use of technology, such as Snapchat, can intensify feelings of exclusion, but it's essential to remember that not every instance of being left out is a problem that needs to be fixed. Instead, teaching children to express their needs kindly and respectfully can help them navigate social situations and build stronger relationships. Ultimately, it's crucial to strike a balance between including others and recognizing the importance of one's own needs.
Teaching kids about inclusivity: Public vs Private Moments: Help kids understand inclusivity in public situations and respect for privacy in private situations.
Teaching children about inclusivity involves both recognizing and addressing instances of exclusion, while also allowing for private moments and setting boundaries. It's important to foster a posture of inclusivity towards the world, but also to help kids understand the difference between public and private social situations. During public moments, we should strive to make everyone feel included, but during private moments, it's okay to prioritize certain relationships without fear of being labeled mean. Parents can explain this concept using the metaphor of front yard experiences (public situations) and foyer experiences (private situations). In public situations, we should be open and inclusive, but in private situations, we get to decide who we invite in. It's also crucial for adults to be direct and open about social situations, rather than hiding or disappearing when someone might feel left out.
Choosing who we surround ourselves with matters: Surround yourself with authentic, valued people. Acknowledge feelings of exclusion and disconnect with empathy, and communicate effectively to resolve conflicts and build healthy relationships.
We all have the power to choose who we invite deeper into our lives and communities, and it's essential to surround ourselves with people who make us feel authentic and valued. However, it's important to remember that everyone experiences feelings of exclusion and disconnection at times, which can't always be fixed. Instead, we should strive to meet each other in those moments with empathy and understanding, acknowledging that these feelings are a natural part of the human experience. Additionally, the speaker emphasizes the importance of communication and negotiation in resolving conflicts and creating healthy relationships. Furthermore, the hiring landscape is challenging, and companies like Robert Half can help connect businesses with highly skilled talent to overcome staffing difficulties.
Validating feelings of exclusion and shame: Acknowledging and validating children's feelings of exclusion and shame can help them build resilience and self-worth, while rushing in to fix the situation can add to their embarrassment. Experiencing exclusion is normal, and teaching healthy coping mechanisms can help them grow.
When our children experience feelings of exclusion or shame, it can be just as overwhelming for us as parents. It's natural to want to rush in and fix the situation, but doing so can add to their feelings of shame and embarrassment. Instead, acknowledging and validating their feelings can help them work through them and build resilience. It's important to remember that experiencing exclusion is a normal part of life, and teaching our children healthy ways to cope with these feelings can help them grow and develop self-worth that isn't tied to social acceptance. Additionally, finding the right person to share our deepest thoughts and feelings with, like a therapist, is crucial for personal growth and healing.
Understanding Loneliness in Adulthood: Loneliness is natural and inevitable in adulthood. Focus on true belonging by being authentic and seeking genuine connections, rather than trying to fit in and abandoning ourselves.
Loneliness is a common experience, not just for children but also for adults. The feeling of being left out or excluded can be particularly intense in adulthood, during stages such as the twenties, mid-fifties, and late eighties. It's essential to recognize this and understand that it's a natural and inevitable part of life. Trying to shield children from loneliness might do more harm than good, as it could make the experience seem more devastating when they encounter it as adults. Moreover, the difference between belonging and fitting in is crucial. Fitting in means changing ourselves to be like a group, leading to a false sense of belonging. However, true belonging comes from being accepted for who we are. Trying to fit in can result in self-abandonment and rejection, creating a double whammy of loneliness. Danielle's story highlights this issue. She tried to be part of a group of "mean girls" at work but couldn't fully fit in and ended up being rejected. Instead, we should focus on being true to ourselves and seeking genuine connections. Overall, it's essential to acknowledge and address loneliness in all its forms, especially in adulthood. By understanding the difference between belonging and fitting in, we can make healthier choices and cultivate more meaningful relationships. If you're feeling lonely or doubtful as an adult, remember that it's a common experience, and there are resources available to help you navigate these feelings.
Feeling left out and discomfort: Recognize feelings of exclusion don't define worth, seek authentic connections, and adapt to new situations for potential new relationships.
Feeling left out or not belonging to a group is a natural human experience and can lead to discomfort, often referred to as "growing pain." This sensation is not a reflection of one's worth or significance, but rather a physiological reaction to perceived exclusion. It's essential to recognize that these feelings do not indicate a need to be part of a specific group or situation, but rather an opportunity to seek out authentic connections with individuals who value and accept us for who we are. It's also important to remember that there are different responses to feelings of isolation, and while aggression might be an initial reaction, the more productive response is to acclimate and adapt to the situation, potentially leading to new and meaningful relationships.
Expand social circles and invest in positive connections: Focus on abundance of potential friendships and shift perspective away from negative relationships or isolation
Instead of focusing on negative relationships or isolation, it's important to expand our social circles and invest in positive connections. This strategy, often referred to as a "friend tree," can help us recognize the abundance of potential friendships around us and reduce our fixation on unhealthy relationships. Additionally, it's crucial to remember that we don't have to give power to those who reject us or make us feel isolated. Instead, we can choose to focus on the many opportunities for connection and friendship available to us. This shift in perspective can help us move past feelings of isolation and rejection and foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
Understanding feelings of exclusion and loneliness: Despite being universal, dealing with exclusion and loneliness can be painful. Coping strategies include seeking support from loved ones, asserting self-worth, and addressing unintentional or intentional unfair treatment.
Experiencing feelings of exclusion and loneliness is a universal part of the human experience. While it can be painful and hurtful, it's important to remember that everyone goes through it at some point. The way we cope with these feelings can vary. Some people may find comfort in having supportive friends or family members who validate their feelings and help them feel included. Others may find strength in standing up for themselves and asserting their worth. Still, others may need a combination of both. It's important to remember that not all instances of exclusion are intentional or malicious, but it's also important to recognize when we're being treated unfairly and to take steps to address it. Ultimately, the key is to find ways to build connections and belong, while also learning to be compassionate with ourselves and others.
Join the 'We Can Do Hard Things' community: Engage with the podcast by following, subscribing, leaving a review, rating, and sharing episodes to expand its reach and learn from others' experiences.
Sharing experiences and learning from each other is crucial, even in difficult situations. The hosts of "We Can Do Hard Things" invite listeners to join their community by following or subscribing to the podcast, leaving a review and rating, and sharing an episode with a friend. This not only benefits the listeners by ensuring they never miss an episode but also helps the pod grow and reach more people. The hosts express their gratitude for the support and emphasize the importance of learning from one another's experiences, whether they're funny or not. The podcast is produced in partnership with Cadence 13 Studios.