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    247. Kerry Washington on the Family Secret that Shaped Her

    enOctober 05, 2023

    Podcast Summary

    • Innovative solutions in bra and diaper industries3rd Love introduces half cup sizes and virtual fitting room for comfortable bras, while Pampers offers gentle protection and free wipes for babies' skin health

      Both 3rd Love and Pampers offer innovative solutions to common problems in their respective industries. 3rd Love revolutionized the bra industry with their half cup sizes and virtual fitting room, ensuring a comfortable and stylish fit for all. Meanwhile, Pampers provides gentle protective care for babies with their Swaddlers diapers and free and gentle wipes, keeping their skin healthy and dry. Additionally, Kerry Washington, an Emmy winning actor, director, producer, and activist, shares her personal experiences and insights during the interview. Whether it's revealing a family secret or discussing her work, Washington's authenticity and relatability make for an engaging and inspiring conversation.

    • Navigating complex family relationshipsAuthenticity and transparency are crucial for healthy family relationships. Addressing difficult realities, even if uncomfortable, can lead to inner clarity and improved communication.

      Carrie's work emphasizes the importance of authenticity and transparency, especially in family relationships. She shares her personal experience of growing up with a sense that things weren't as they seemed, despite being loved deeply by her parents. This disconnect led her to question her own worth and navigate unsafe situations while losing touch with her inner clarity. Her books encourage readers to acknowledge and address the realities, even if they're difficult or uncomfortable, rather than pretending everything is fine. The theme of her work resonates with many families as it explores the complexities and challenges of parenting and the importance of honest communication.

    • Children sense emotional dissonance in adult relationshipsChildren pick up on emotional dissonance in adult relationships, which can impact their understanding of emotional intimacy and trust

      Children, even at a young age, have a keen sense of their environment and can pick up on emotional dissonance in their relationships with adults. This dissonance can manifest as a feeling that something is "off," despite the adults' attempts to hide their issues or maintain a facade of normalcy. This can be a protective mechanism for the adults, but it can also create a sense of distance or a lack of true emotional connection for the child. This experience can carry over into later relationships and shape the child's understanding of emotional intimacy and trust. It's important for adults to acknowledge the emotional depth and sensitivity of children and strive to create open and authentic connections with them.

    • Family secrets and personal growthSharing family secrets can lead to healing and self-understanding, while being aware of and canceling unwanted subscriptions can save money and simplify life.

      Holding onto family secrets can hinder personal growth and self-discovery. The speaker shares her experience of feeling disconnected from herself due to unresolved family secrets, which prevented her from truly knowing herself. She emphasizes that every family has secrets, but sharing them can lead to healing and self-understanding. Additionally, the speaker promotes the importance of being aware of and canceling unwanted subscriptions to save money and simplify one's life, using the personal finance app Rocket Money as a resource. Overall, the book and conversation highlight the importance of self-awareness, healing from past traumas, and taking control of one's financial situation.

    • The importance of facing challenges for growthAllowing children to experience consequences of actions can foster healthy growth and learning, rather than shielding them from difficulties.

      Protecting children from hardships and difficult emotions may hinder their ability to learn and grow. The speaker shares her experience of discovering her identity later in life and how her parents' attempts to shield her from hardships may have inadvertently limited her belief in her own capabilities. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and facing challenges as a natural part of life, and encourages parents to allow their children to experience the consequences of their actions, rather than shielding them from them. The speaker also reflects on her own parenting and the importance of allowing children to face the natural consequences of their decisions, even if it means feeling uncomfortable or guilty at times. She emphasizes that these feelings can be indicators of healthy growth and learning. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of embracing challenges and difficult emotions as opportunities for growth, rather than trying to shield ourselves or our children from them.

    • Recognizing the need to be the lead character in life brings growth and family closenessEmbracing your true self and acting can lead to personal growth, newfound trust, and mutual support in family relationships.

      Recognizing the need to be the lead character in one's own life can bring unexpected growth and closeness to family relationships. This realization, which may involve shedding old labels and embracing one's true self, can lead to newfound trust and mutual support. Acting, as a form of embodiment and self-expression, can also serve as a powerful tool for personal growth and self-discovery. Through the process of embodying different characters, individuals can explore aspects of themselves that they may not have been able to express in their everyday lives. This journey towards self-belonging and authenticity can ultimately enrich not only the individual's life but also the lives of those around them.

    • Embrace your lead role in lifeRecognize and embrace your worth as a lead character, inspiring personal growth and creating an environment for everyone to thrive.

      It's essential to recognize and embrace the lead role in our own lives, even as we support others. The speaker shares how her acting career allowed her to explore her truth and discover her worth as a lead character, inspiring her to apply this mindset to her personal life. This realization challenges the societal norm of women being relegated to supporting roles, encouraging us to cultivate moments where we step into the spotlight and allow ourselves to flourish. By embracing our lead roles, we can create an environment where everyone, including ourselves and those we care about, can thrive. It's a delicate balance, but one that is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment.

    • Collaborative home buying solution with detailed informationHomes.com offers a one-stop-shop for homebuyers, allowing families to efficiently share and access valuable information, and Keri's emphasis on truth and love resonates with the speaker, encouraging continuous growth and understanding.

      Homes.com provides a comprehensive solution for homebuyers by offering detailed information about listings, neighborhoods, schools, and agents all in one place. This collaboration tool allows families to easily share and access this valuable information, making the home buying process more efficient and less overwhelming. Additionally, the speaker appreciates the authenticity and honesty of the interviewee, Keri, and how she encourages continuous growth and learning. The concept of liberation, as discussed in the interviewee's book, resonates with the speaker, emphasizing that truth and love are not mutually exclusive, and that growth and understanding come from embracing the complexities of life. The speaker also expresses gratitude for the literary permission given by the interviewee to write in a non-linear way, which has influenced her own writing process.

    • The power of truth in unconditional loveRevealing secrets and being vulnerable can deepen relationships by allowing both parties to accept each other's imperfections and love unconditionally, despite the initial sadness and loneliness.

      Unconditional love and truth are deeply connected. The speaker shares an experience of withholding a significant truth from loved ones, creating a barrier in their relationships. This secret, or "veil," prevented them from fully accepting and giving love. The revelation of this truth led to a deeper, more authentic connection, as both parties were able to accept each other's imperfections and love them unconditionally. The speaker also acknowledges the sadness and loneliness that comes with holding onto a secret for decades and not being fully known by others. Ultimately, the choice to share the truth and allow oneself to be vulnerable can lead to a more open, free, and connected relationship.

    • Authenticity and open communication in relationshipsInvest in happiness with versatile Vuori clothing, strive for authenticity and open communication in relationships to strengthen bonds and address generational trauma.

      Authenticity and open communication are key to building strong connections, whether it's between parents and children or in personal relationships. The discussion also highlighted the importance of finding comfort and versatility in everyday items, like Vuori clothing, which can enhance our overall happiness. When it comes to raising children, being aware of the urge to mask difficult emotions and being led by their questions can help foster an environment where uncomfortable conversations are welcomed and generational trauma can be addressed. Building a culture of openness and creating a safe space for questions can help break down barriers and strengthen bonds. The discussion also emphasized the importance of finding comfort and versatility in everyday items, like Vuori clothing, which can enhance our overall happiness. So, invest in your happiness with Vuori's comfortable and versatile clothing, and strive for authenticity and open communication in your relationships. Use the code HARDTHINGS for 20% off your first purchase and free shipping on orders over $75 at viore.com.

    • Sharing family secrets and difficult conversationsExploring family secrets and having tough conversations can lead to healing and living more authentically, despite potential challenges and resistance.

      Opening up about family secrets and bringing difficult conversations to the table can lead to healing and embodiment for women. The speaker shared her experience of growing up in a large family where they didn't discuss uncomfortable topics, but appreciated the courage of a friend who wrote a book about her own family experiences. The speaker was inspired by this and felt it gave her permission to address her own family secrets related to anorexia and her family of origin. She emphasized that this process is not always easy and can be met with resistance, but ultimately leads to greater authenticity and living one's life more fully. The speaker also shared some practical tips for returning to oneself when feeling lost, such as practicing self-care and writing honestly about one's experiences.

    • Editing a family memoir with a retired education professorCollaborative editing enriches narratives, corrects facts, and provides a balanced perspective. Self-care is crucial for maintaining well-being during the editing process. Involve parents for context and depth in life stories.

      The editing process of a family memoir by a retired education professor can lead to valuable insights and corrections, enriching the narrative and providing a more balanced perspective. The professor's actions were not just about correcting factual errors, but also about giving her child the space to grow and explore other interests. This collaborative effort allowed for a more complete and nuanced story to emerge. Additionally, the importance of self-care was emphasized, with the author sharing her personal practices of hydration, massage, and prayer as essential for maintaining her well-being. Lastly, the significance of involving parents in the narrative of one's life journey was highlighted, as it can bring context and depth to the story that might not be otherwise shared.

    • The importance of sharing family secrets for personal growthSharing family secrets can lead to personal growth and understanding, while maintaining love and respect for family members.

      Key takeaway from Kerry Washington's conversation on the "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast is the importance of sharing family secrets to free oneself, while maintaining love and respect for family members. Washington discussed her experience of correcting her parents' narrative in her memoir and the realization that they have become supporting characters in her story. She emphasized the importance of understanding and loving one's parents, as she hopes listeners will do the same. Washington also encouraged listeners to follow, subscribe, rate, and share the podcast to support the production. Overall, the conversation emphasized the value of honesty, love, and growth within families.

    • Finding strength in adversityDespite challenges, we have the power to get through tough times, grow, and come out stronger.

      No matter what challenges life throws at us, we have the strength to get through them. Hitting rock bottom can feel like the end, but it can also be a new beginning. It's important to remember that we're not the problem, and that the best people are those who are free to be themselves. The journey back to finding ourselves may take time, but it's worth it. The experiences of joy and pain are all part of the journey, and they help us grow. Ultimately, we have the power to fight our way back home, and to keep going even when things get tough. We can do hard things, and we'll come out stronger on the other side.

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