6. How Dating Apps are Failing Us with Dr. Apryl Williams

Ari sits down with Therapist and Sex Worker Raquel Savage. Raquel talks about her fantasies, being autistic and on the Ace Spectrum, and educates us about sex work from a labor framework. We also discuss recognizing the signs of abuse, gaslighting, trauma bonding and how to heal from abuse using community and harm reduction.

 

TW: Mentions of Abuse and S.A. in this episode

 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• Raquel’s fantasy Adult Male performer & her JUICY “best orgasm” story

• What is whorearchy, FSSW, and trauma bonding?

• Why the mental health industry is ill-equipped to handle Sex Workers as clients

• Red flags that signal abusive dynamics (and they aren’t so obvious!)

• How Raquel is redefining sex for herself

 

Follow Raquel on Instagram and Twitter | Tip Raquel you know where

 

Donate to Raquel’s non-profit Zepp Wellness

 

Mental Health workers & clinicians, sign up for Raquel’s Equitable Care Certification

 

Check out Raquel’s work: RaquelSavage.com

 

Video version of this episode available on Patreon

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Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram @sensuelle.education

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast on Instagram & TikTok or subscribe to our newsletter

 

If you liked this episode, share it with a friend, and leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It really helps!

Want to work 1:1 with Ari to heal your sensual side? Book a Coaching Consultation: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Abortion Rights worker and Sex Educator Irma, CSE (she/her) of Dirty South Sex Ed stops by to talk about all things pleasure and liberation — specifically for Black, Brown, & Indigenous communities and youth. But not before she busts some shocking myths about abortion restrictions since the fall of Roe v. Wade in Summer 2022. 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• Why pleasure is an act of radical love for marginalized communities

• How to feel safe & secure about an abortion procedure

• Where and how to logistically access abortion in your state or region (USA)

• How orgasms are integral to her daily self-care routine

 

Follow Irma + her work on Instagram: @sexedwithirma // @janesdueprocess

 

Follow Irma on Twitter: @DirtySouthSexEd

 

More info on abortion availability: https://www.ineedana.com/

 

Great companion episode: 18. WTF is Reproductive Justice? with Tia (@SlipperyWhenWet)

 

Extended versions of episodes available on Patreon

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Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram @sensuelle.education

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast on Instagram & TikTok or subscribe to our newsletter

 

Leave anonymous questions for Sexologist Ari to have your questions answered on the podcast

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Join us on Patreon for ad-free episodes with video, and online burlesque classes by Ari: http://www.patreon.com/sensuelle

 

If you liked this episode, share it with a friend, and leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It really helps!

Want to work 1:1 with Ari to heal your sensual side? Book a Coaching Consultation: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Ari chats with Therapist, Somatic practitioner, and Burlesque Performer Nat Vikitsreth, LCSW (aka Crocodile Lightning). Nat shares tools for parents and non-parents to embody social-justice practices in our daily lives. Nat also tells us her story as an Immigrant, Trans Woman, and Academic, fighting the oppressor “from the inside” and how she came home to her body post-transition by doing burlesque.

 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• What Social Justice Parenting and Decolonized Caregiving can look like
• How attachment styles play out in our parenting, or self-parenting (yikes)
• How to know whether your reactions are “adaptive or outdated”
• How to recover from a messy breakup and self-repair

 

Nat’s 7-week Social Justice Parenting cohort, The “In-Out-N-Through” Program: https://www.comebacktocare.com/learn

 

Follow Nat/Crocodile, on Instagram: @ComeBacktoCare // @CrocodileLightning

 

Check out Nat’s work: Come Back to Care podcast // Come Back to Care home

 

Extended version of this episode available on Patreon

_________

 

Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram @sensuelle.education

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast on Instagram & TikTok or subscribe to our newsletter

 

Leave anonymous questions about sex, pleasure, and relationships to have your questions answered on the podcast

 

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Join us on Patreon for ad-free episodes with video, and online burlesque classes by Ari: http://www.patreon.com/sensuelle

 

If you liked this episode, share it with a friend, and leave a 5-star review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It really helps!

 

Want to work 1:1 with Ari to heal your sensual side? Book a Coaching Consultation: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

“Rapping and being vulnerable, as a result of releasing music and performing, has encouraged me to step into my truth and step into my power.”

In episode 30, Ari sits down with Massage Therapist and Rap Artist, Regina Palmer aka Pottie Pocket. They chat about Regina’s experience as a transracial adoptee, unlearning from being Black and Queer in a white family, and her queer self-discovery after moving to the “big city” of the Midwest — Chicago, IL.

 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• Building up self-love practice that is diligence
• Healing others’ touch aversion through her work as a Massage Therapist
• The sensual link between music and massage
• What the next iteration of her rap persona, Pottie Pocket, looks like

 

Follow our guest, Regina, on Instagram: @therappervegas// @adopteachi

 

Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram: @sensuelle.education

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast on Instagram & TikTok

 

Ask Ari: leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, and previous episode topics: https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

 

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Resources from this episode

 

Subscribe to the SensuElle Newsletter or become a SensuElle Patron for more from the SensuElle universe

 

If you liked this episode, puh-leez share this episode with a friend! Leave another 5-star review on Spotify // Apple Podcasts

 

Want to work 1:1 with Ari to heal your sensual side? Book a 1-on-1 Coaching Consultation: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

“We all cause harm … but there’s a difference between acknowledging/repairing that harm and ignoring it.”

 

Ari chats with Reproductive Justice Activist and Social Media Expert, Tia, of @Slipp3ryWhenWet. Tia discusses how to set digital boundaries with work as an organizer and Sex Educator in the Southern US, wild online interactions with trolls (and how she claps back), and learning when “main character energy” is just your ego.

 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• What is a self-managed abortion? More info here
• How to set self-boundaries and keep support systems in place so that you don't burn out
• Why you can only keep yourself accountable when you are in community; and defining community for yourself
• How to self-regulate when faced with online criticism and chaos

 

Get the EXTENDED version of this episode that includes over 20 minutes of Tia & Ari’s advice. Join our Patreon for only $5/month

 

Follow our guest, Tia, on Instagram: @BeyondRoeCollective // @Slipp3ryWhenWet

 

Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensuelle.education/

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast (@sensuellepodcast) on Instagram & TikTok

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Ask Ari: leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, and previous episode topics: https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

 

Join our Patreon for ad-free audio & video episodes, and other patron-only exclusives — like ONLINE BURLESQUE CLASSES! http://patreon.com/sensuelle

 

If you liked this episode, puh-leez share the episode with a friend! Leave another 5-star review on Spotify // Apple Podcasts

 

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~ Resources & Mentions ~

 

Subscribe to the SensuElle Newsletter for more from the SensuElle universe

 

Resource Guides (a downloadable PDF w/ research used to design the episode) COMING SOON! Join the Podcast Bestie list to get Resource Guides for FREE

 

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~ Contact & Support ~

 

Submit guest proposals, advertising and sponsorship questions, or leave feedback for our team sensuellepodcast@gmail.com

 

Support us by donating to the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity: https://bit.ly/donate-sensuelle-podcast

Want to work 1-on-1 with Ari to heal your sensual side? Inquire about a Sensuality Coaching Consultation: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Ari interviews YouTuber, Sex Educator, and STI Awareness Advocate, Laureen HD • (she/her). Laureen shares how she went from keeping her genital herpes diagnosis a secret to becoming an advocate for living a sex-positive lifestyle with incurable STIs on YouTube.

Editor's Note: this is a sensual revisit from episode 19 in honor of our ~Sexual Health Series~ more interviews out soon!

Burning Questions in this episode:

• how to disclose STI status with care and even humor
• relearning how to date after a positive diagnosis
• why stigma is the worst symptom of (incurable) STIs
• how she remains sex-positive and shame-free 8 years after HSV-2 contraction

 

Laureen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/laureenhd/

Laureen on YouTube: http://youtube.com/laureenhd

 

Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensuelle.education/

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast (@sensuellepodcast) on Instagram & TikTok

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Subscribe to the Newsletter and join our community chat on Geneva: https://bit.ly/SensuelleCommunity

 

Submit guest proposals, advertising inquiries, and sponsorship questions at sensuellepodcast@gmail.com

 

If you liked this episode, consider supporting us via donation to the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity: https://bit.ly/donate-sensuelle-podcast

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Show Notes, Resources, and “Gems” from this episode: https://www.arielleantwine.com/sensuelle-podcast-episodes

 

Coaching with Ari Antwine, ACS Sexologist: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, and previous episode topics for a chance to be answered on “Ask Ari”: https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

Ari chats with infectious disease nurse & HIV specialist, Evan. Evan & Ari discuss terrible experiences with STI clinics, what a day in the life of HIV panel management looks like for Evan, and the social aspects of care that keep people from seeking the sexual healthcare they deserve.

 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• Why PrEP & PEP is for everyone, not just those predisposed to HIV contraction/transmission
• Where and how to find sexual health resources in your area that are often free
• Why you should be getting an oral and anal swab during an STI panel (and what providers are missing when they don’t include this)
• How to advocate for judgement-free STI testing and symptom management with your healthcare provider

 

Our guest, Evan, is not on Social Media, but you can follow the links below for more context!

 

Follow our host, Ari, on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensuelle.education/

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast (@sensuellepodcast) on Instagram & TikTok

__________

 

Subscribe to the Newsletter and join our community chat on Geneva: https://bit.ly/SensuelleCommunity

 

Submit guest proposals, advertising inquiries, and sponsorship questions at sensuellepodcast@gmail.com

 

If you liked this episode, consider supporting us via donation to the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity: https://bit.ly/donate-sensuelle-podcast

__________

 

Show Notes, Resources, and “Gems” from this episode: https://www.arielleantwine.com/sensuelle-podcast-episodes

 

Coaching with Ari Antwine, ACS Sexologist: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, and previous episode topics for a chance to be answered on “Ask Ari”: https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

Ari interviews Herpes Awareness Advocate & Activist, Courtney Brame. Courtney and Ari chat about how a sex-averse society makes it easier for STI transmission, and Courtney gives advice on how to have casual, safer, communicative sex while being an STI-positive person.

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• Should you put your herpes status on your dating profile?
• How to handle rejection from partners after disclosing a positive STI status
• Why condoms and barrier methods misguide conversations around what’s considered “safe” sex
• What is the STARS method of STI disclosure?
• How do we uncouple sex from pleasure, and pleasure from our own value to one another?

Follow our guest, Courtney, on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/

 

~Other guest links~

Something Positive for Positive People: https://www.spfpp.org/

 

Courtney’s Podcast: https://www.spfpp.org/podcast

 

Episode deep dives, notes, and guest info: https://www.arielleantwine.com/sensuelle-podcast-episodes

 

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Leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, and previous episode topics for a chance to be answered during “Ask Ari”

https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

 

Submit guest proposals, advertising inquiries, and sponsorship questions at sensuellepodcast@gmail.com

 

If you liked this episode, consider supporting us via donation to the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity

https://bit.ly/donate-sensuelle-podcast

 

__________

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast on social:

 

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/sensuellepodcast/

 

TikTok 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sensuellepodcast

 

YouTube

https://bit.ly/SubscribeToSensuElle

 

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Mentions in this episode:

 

Subscribe to the SensuElle Newsletter for more resources

https://www.arielleantwine.com/newsletter

 

Follow host Ari Antwine:

https://www.instagram.com/sensuelle.education/

 

Coaching offers from Ari, ACS Sexologist

https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Ari interviews Sex Educator and STI testing & minimization activist, Courtney Brame (he/him). Courtney advocates for sex-positive, identity-affirming, stigma-reducing Sex Ed on his platform/podcast, “Something Positive for Positive People”. Courtney shares how he remained sex-positive and empowered after testing positive for Herpes in 2013.

 

Courtney and Ari chat about changing the conversation from “How many partners have you had?” to “When was your last STI test?”, prioritizing sexual safety and communication in relationships, and Courtney’s larger mission of harm-reduction through judgement-free sex education for healthcare providers and those diagnosed “positive” with an STI.

 

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• The difference between HSV1 (oral herpes) & HSV2 (genital herpes)
• How to navigate stigma, trauma and shame surrounding a positive STI diagnosis
• How to tell someone you have an STI (*sexually-transmitted infection — NOT ‘disease’)
• Why trust and communication about your testing status is critical to new partnerships
• What are “Super Gonorrhea” and “Super Chlamydia”?

 

Follow our guest, Courtney, on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/courtneybrame_/

 

~Other guest links~

Something Positive for Positive People: https://www.spfpp.org/

 

Courtney’s Podcast: https://www.spfpp.org/podcast

 

Episode deep dives, notes, and guest info

https://www.arielleantwine.com/sensuelle-podcast-episodes

 

__________

 

Leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, and previous episode topics for a chance to be answered during “Ask Ari”

https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

 

Submit guest proposals, advertising inquiries, and sponsorship questions at sensuellepodcast@gmail.com

 

If you liked this episode, consider supporting us via donation to the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity

https://bit.ly/donate-sensuelle-podcast

 

__________

 

Follow SensuElle Podcast on social:

 

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/sensuellepodcast/

 

TikTok 

https://www.tiktok.com/@sensuellepodcast

 

YouTube

https://bit.ly/SubscribeToSensuElle

 

__________

Mentions in this episode:

 

Subscribe to the SensuElle Newsletter for more resources

https://www.arielleantwine.com/newsletter

 

Follow host Ari Antwine

https://www.instagram.com/sensuelle.education/

 

Coaching offers from Ari, ACS Sexologist

https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching

Ari interviews Burlesque performer, model, instructor, and Playboy Playmate Shimmy LaRoux. Shimmy and Ari chat about how religion and Black Southern culture deeply oppressed their sexuality growing up, and what feeling valid as a Bi/Queer person looks like for them now.

Shimmy tells us about her day job in DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion), the agency she finds in striptease, and her path to posing nude for the famous Playboy magazine — spoiler: it involves Shimmy winning the Ms. Burlesque World competition!

Burning Questions answered in this episode:

• What does “doing the work” of advocacy and activism really look like?
• Is Burlesque considered Sex Work, or is it Sex Work-Adjacent? What is “Sex Work-Adjacent”?
• Why “the Male Gaze” gives consensual Sex Work & stripping a bad rap

Follow our guest, Shimmy Laroux: https://www.instagram.com/playmate_shimmylaroux/

Follow our host, Ari: https://www.instagram.com/sensuelle.education/

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~ Follow SensuElle Podcast ~

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sensuellepodcast/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sensuellepodcast

__________

ASK ARI: Leave your anonymous advice questions about sex, relationships, or previous episode topics: https://www.arielleantwine.com/ask-ari

Submit guest proposals, advertising inquiries, and sponsorship questions: sensuellepodcast@gmail.com

If you liked this episode, consider supporting us via donation to the Effing Foundation for Sex Positivity: https://bit.ly/donate-sensuelle-podcast

__________

~ Resources & Mentions ~

Beginner’s Guide to Impact Play: https://www.arielleantwine.com/blog/sensual-sex-ed-resource-guide-beginner-impact

Episode notes: https://www.arielleantwine.com/sensuelle-podcast-episodes

Subscribe to the SensuElle Newsletter: https://www.arielleantwine.com/newsletter

Ari's Coaching offers & “Getting Bi” info: https://www.arielleantwine.com/coaching