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    70. “My husband thinks savings for our kids’ education is a waste of money”

    enNovember 22, 2022

    Podcast Summary

    • Understanding Money and Class in RelationshipsExplore the impact of past experiences and social class on financial decisions and relationships through Ramit Sethi's teachings and books like 'I Will Teach You TO Be Rich' and 'The Power of the Past'.

      Money and class are complex issues that deeply impact relationships. The speaker, Ramit Sethi, shared his upcoming events in Philadelphia and Boston for those interested in improving their finances through his teachings. He emphasized the importance of his book, "I Will Teach You TO Be Rich," which covers essential financial topics like paying off student loans, automating finances, and investing. Ramit also touched on the taboo topic of class in America and how it influences our financial decisions and relationships. He referenced a book, "The Power of the Past," which explores the impact of social class on love and marriage. In the episode, Ramit discussed a couple, Amy and Gabby, who had differing views on paying for their children's education due to their past experiences with education and student loans. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding the role of the past and class in shaping our financial decisions and relationships.

    • Financial decisions influenced by upbringing and cultural backgroundOur financial choices are shaped by more than just our current situation. Cultural traditions and personal values play a significant role in our decisions, such as whether or not to pay for children's college education.

      Our financial decisions are shaped by more than just our current financial situation. They are influenced by our upbringing, cultural background, and personal values. The example given in the discussion was the question of whether or not parents will pay for their children's college education. It was found that this decision is not solely based on financial capability, but also on cultural traditions and values. Indian parents, for instance, prioritize their children's education and are willing to spend significantly on it, even in impoverished circumstances. On the other hand, those who grew up in poverty or with blue-collar roots may not have considered college an option at all. These examples show that our financial decisions are deeply rooted in our past experiences and societal influences. Additionally, the discussion highlighted the differences in sensibilities between those who were raised in professional white-collar families and those with blue-collar roots. The former group tends to prefer planning and organization, while the latter prefers to go with the flow. Overall, this discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding the role of cultural influences and personal values in our financial decisions.

    • Differing Perspectives on College SavingsOpen communication and understanding each other's financial backgrounds and values are crucial when making decisions for the future. Financial literacy and researching schools thoroughly are also important considerations.

      Families have different perspectives when it comes to saving for their children's college education. While one family may see it as an investment, another may view it as an unnecessary expense. In the discussed conversation, Gabby expressed her reluctance to pay for her child's college education due to her own past financial struggles and the potential unknowns of the future. Amy, on the other hand, held a different view and believed in the importance of higher education. Despite their differing opinions, they were unable to come to an agreement. This conversation highlights the importance of open communication and understanding each other's financial backgrounds and values when making important decisions for the future. Additionally, the discussion touched upon the importance of researching schools thoroughly before making significant financial commitments. The bankruptcy of The Art Institute of Fort Lauderdale served as a reminder of the potential risks associated with taking on excessive student loan debt. Overall, the conversation underscores the significance of financial literacy and the importance of considering various perspectives when making financial decisions for one's family.

    • Effective email management and financial mindsetInvesting in tools and habits for email management and financial mindset can lead to increased productivity and peace of mind. Prioritize messages with Superhuman, approach finances from a place of abundance and gratitude.

      Effective email management and financial mindset can significantly improve productivity and overall well-being. The speaker shared his love for Superhuman, an email management tool that helps prioritize messages and use keyboard shortcuts for quicker navigation. He also mentioned his indifference towards money, but acknowledged that having a system in place to manage finances can lead to a sense of wealth and freedom. The speaker's experience shows that investing time and resources into tools and habits that streamline daily tasks can lead to less stress and more focus on the things that truly matter. Furthermore, the speaker's casual mention of his financial mindset sparked a conversation about the importance of being mindful of money. While some may argue that having a strong financial foundation is crucial for future security, the speaker emphasized that not everyone shares the same perspective. He suggested that approaching money from a place of abundance and gratitude, rather than worry or scarcity, can lead to a more positive relationship with finances. Overall, the discussion highlights the importance of finding tools and habits that work for you, whether it's managing your email inbox or your finances, and approaching them with a mindset that fosters productivity and peace of mind.

    • Our upbringing and experiences shape our beliefs about moneyUnderstanding our financial beliefs and striving for literacy helps make informed decisions. Recognizing diverse experiences is important.

      Our beliefs and perceptions about money are often shaped by our upbringing and experiences, even if they may not be entirely accurate or based on a full understanding of financial concepts. The speaker shares an example of how he accepted his parents' statement of making a $100,000 as a sign of wealth, despite not fully understanding the implications of it. He also mentions how his own relationship with money is influenced by his parents' financial roles and dynamics. This blind acceptance of financial beliefs can continue to shape our attitudes and behaviors towards money as we grow older. It's important to be aware of these influences and strive for financial literacy to make informed decisions. Additionally, the speaker's conversation with Gabby highlights the contrasting ways their families approached money and travel. While Gabby's family traveled extensively, the speaker's family had a more limited experience, but still felt comfortable. These differences underscore the diversity of financial experiences and the importance of recognizing and respecting them.

    • Backgrounds Shape Our Perspectives on College SavingsOur past experiences and upbringing significantly influence our attitudes towards saving for college and other important decisions

      The experiences and values shaped by our upbringing significantly influence our perspectives on important decisions, such as saving for college. The speaker shares her own experiences of traveling internationally during her high school years, contrasting it with her friend Gabby's lack of such experiences. This difference in backgrounds shapes their attitudes towards college funds and savings. The book "The Power of the Past" further emphasizes this point, explaining how individuals from different socio-economic backgrounds learn about savings based on their upbringing. The speaker then shares a personal anecdote about her friend's struggle with finding a comfortable sleeping temperature, and how 8 Sleep's pod cover can help solve this issue. This discussion highlights the importance of understanding how our past experiences shape our present choices and the significance of addressing these differences to improve our quality of life.

    • Finding common ground in unique upbringingsIndividuals with diverse backgrounds can build meaningful connections by embracing and learning from each other's differences.

      Despite having different upbringings and family values, both individuals found common ground and appreciation for each other's unique experiences. While one grew up with education being a given and a close-knit family, the other had a more lax approach to education and a larger, extended family. Their differences were evident in their religious backgrounds, holidays, and communication styles. However, they welcomed these differences and found excitement in the opportunity to learn and adapt to new experiences. Ultimately, their meeting online and sharing stories of their upbringings led them to a deeper understanding and respect for one another's backgrounds.

    • Childhood experiences shape our perspectivesOur upbringings influence our family values and education priorities, highlighting the importance of intentionality in passing down values to future generations.

      The way we were raised shapes our perspectives on various aspects of life, including family values and education. In the discussion between Amy and Gabby, it became clear that their upbringings influenced their approaches to creating a new family culture and the importance they place on education for their children. Amy's partner was open-minded and welcoming to new experiences, which made blending their families and cultures a positive experience. Gabby, on the other hand, had a strong focus on education and hoped her son would make the most of his college experience while avoiding the mistakes she made. Their differing perspectives highlight how deeply our past experiences can impact our present decisions. The conversation also showcased the importance of intentionality when it comes to passing down values to the next generation. By being mindful of our priorities and considering the potential outcomes of our choices, we can create a meaningful and cohesive family culture.

    • Securing Family's Future with Life Insurance and EducationObtain term life insurance quickly through Fabric, learn a new language efficiently with Babbel, identify children's interests, start saving early for their education, and understand compound interest benefits.

      Protecting one's family and future is essential, whether it's through securing life insurance or investing in education. However, many people struggle to take action due to procrastination or lack of understanding. Fabric by Gerber Life offers a simple solution for obtaining term life insurance in minutes, while Babbel can help individuals learn a new language quickly. Regarding education, it's crucial to identify and nurture children's interests and provide them with the resources to explore their passions. When it comes to saving for their future, starting early and understanding the benefits of compound interest can make a significant difference. Despite these facts, some individuals may still struggle to prioritize these actions, and it's essential to find ways to make the process more accessible and understandable. Ultimately, seeking knowledge, taking small steps, and seeking guidance can help individuals secure their families' futures and achieve their goals.

    • Understanding the Root Cause of Money Issues in RelationshipsOpen communication and recognizing underlying issues are crucial for addressing money problems in relationships. Family dynamics, socioeconomic backgrounds, and class can shape our perspectives and influence the questions we ask.

      In our interactions, whether personal or professional, we may not always be addressing the root cause of a problem. People often come with a question they think they want answered, but the real issue might be something entirely different. It's crucial to approach conversations with an open mind and a detective's perspective. In the realm of relationships, especially those involving money, it's essential to have open and honest dialogues. Failure to do so could lead to bigger problems down the line. In the example given, a couple came to the conversation with the apparent question of why one partner spends excessively at Target. However, the real issue was rooted in their upbringing and their unconscious strategies to keep their different philosophies regarding money separate. By not acknowledging and addressing the root cause, they were driving in separate lanes and risked drifting apart. In our personal and professional lives, it's essential to recognize the importance of open communication and being aware of the underlying issues. By doing so, we can build stronger relationships and make more informed decisions. Additionally, it's crucial to remember that our family dynamics, socioeconomic backgrounds, and class play a significant role in shaping our perspectives and the questions we ask. By acknowledging these influences, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and others.

    • Different Perspectives on Money ManagementCouples need to communicate openly about their financial goals, values, and expectations to maintain a strong relationship.

      Amy and Gabby have vastly different perspectives when it comes to money. Amy believes in actively managing and engaging with their finances, while Gabby feels content with his current wealth and sees no need to delve deeper into the complexities of money management. Despite their age and relative financial success, they hold contrasting values towards money, with Amy advocating for a proactive approach and Gabby expressing a more passive attitude. This disparity in financial mindsets can potentially lead to conflicts and misunderstandings in their relationship. It is essential for couples to have open and honest conversations about their financial goals, values, and expectations to ensure a strong and harmonious partnership.

    • Understanding the balance between conserving and growing moneyBe mindful of large expenses, set savings goals, and prioritize retirement savings to achieve financial balance and reach goals.

      Being overly conservative with money in all areas of life can limit your potential and prevent you from reaching your financial goals. It's important to understand that being conservative and aggressive with money are not mutually exclusive, and it's essential to know how to apply different money lenses in various situations. For instance, scrutinizing large purchases like a house or a car, while not worrying too much about smaller expenses like groceries. The discussion also highlighted the importance of setting savings goals and having a clear understanding of where your money is going. Amy and Gabby were found to be paying 29% of their gross income towards housing, which is above the recommended guideline of less than 28%. They were also encouraged to consider establishing different savings accounts for specific goals and to contribute more to retirement accounts like a 401k.

    • Separate savings accounts for specific purposesUsing separate savings accounts for various expenses helps prevent dysfunctional financial behavior and ensures effective use of money for desired experiences, while also maintaining a savings account for personal expenses and investments to avoid missed opportunities for growth.

      Having separate savings accounts for specific purposes, such as vacations or subscriptions, can help prevent dysfunctional financial behavior and ensure that money is being used effectively for desired experiences. However, it's important to ensure that there is also a savings account for personal expenses and investments, as letting money sit in a savings account for too long can result in missed opportunities for growth. The use of a "bucket system" can be helpful in managing and prioritizing savings for various expenses. Ultimately, having a clear understanding of one's financial goals and priorities can lead to more intentional spending and a greater sense of financial security.

    • Discussing financial priorities and creating sub-savings accountsEffective communication and open-mindedness are crucial for creating a successful financial plan as a couple. Engage in respectful dialogue, consider each other's priorities, and work together to achieve shared goals.

      Effective communication and open-mindedness are key to creating a successful financial plan as a couple. During a discussion, Gabby suggested creating sub-savings accounts for specific expenses, such as vacations and theme parks. Although Amy initially had reservations, she eventually welcomed Gabby's input and realized the benefits of this approach. By actively listening to each other's perspectives and considering each other's priorities, they were able to find common ground and create a richer financial system. This exchange highlights the importance of engaging in respectful dialogue, being open to new ideas, and working together to achieve shared goals.

    • The power of scripted conversations in achieving desired outcomesScripted conversations can help break out of conversational ruts and facilitate productive discussions, especially when it comes to important topics like financial planning. Clear financial goals and savings plans are essential, and using a back-of-the-napkin calculation to determine costs and save monthly can be effective strategies.

      Having specific and scripted conversations, even if they feel unnatural at first, can be effective in achieving desired outcomes. This was evident in the conversation between Ramit and Gabby, where they discussed their travel plans. Although Gabby initially expressed her disinterest in the Netherlands, Ramit skillfully steered the conversation towards finding a mutual destination. He used a scripted approach to ask where she would like to go, which helped them both stay focused on the topic and eventually agree on Japan as their travel destination. This example illustrates how scripted conversations can be useful in breaking out of conversational ruts and facilitating productive discussions, especially when it comes to important topics like financial planning. Additionally, the conversation highlighted the importance of having clear financial goals and savings plans. Ramit suggested using a back-of-the-napkin calculation to determine the cost of a dream vacation and setting aside a specific amount each month to save for it. This approach can help individuals prioritize their savings and make informed decisions about how to allocate their resources. Overall, the conversation underscored the value of having clear financial goals, engaging in productive conversations, and using specific and scripted approaches when necessary.

    • Collaborating on financial goalsEffective communication and setting clear priorities can lead to informed decisions about savings and investments, helping build a strong financial foundation for the future.

      Effective communication and collaboration between partners can lead to a clearer understanding of financial goals and the ability to make informed decisions about savings and investments. The conversation between the couple in this discussion highlights the importance of setting clear financial priorities, such as saving for a dream vacation or a child-free getaway, and involving both partners in the process. They also discuss the importance of having a long-term financial plan, like saving for retirement, and adjusting savings and investments as needed to meet their goals. By working together and staying engaged in their financial planning, the couple can build a strong foundation for their future.

    • Open conversations about money and educationReflecting on past experiences and discussing beliefs can lead to new ways to approach financial goals, emphasizing the importance of open communication between partners.

      Investing in your children's education and encouraging them to leave home for school can bring excitement and freedom for both parents and children. This conversation between Amy and Gabby revealed how their family backgrounds influenced their perspectives on money and education. Gabby shared her desire to avoid being stuck with her kids at home for extended periods, while Amy expressed the importance of saving for their children's futures. By reflecting on their past experiences and discussing their beliefs about money, they discovered new ways to approach their financial goals. This conversation highlights the importance of open and honest conversations between partners about money and the role of personal history in shaping our financial habits.

    • Implementing strategies from Ramit Sethi's book for financial successLearn specific tactics for saving, earning, and managing money effectively through Ramit Sethi's book 'I Will Teach You to be Rich'.

      If you want to improve your personal finances, consider implementing the strategies outlined in Ramit Sethi's book "I Will Teach You to be Rich." This book provides specific tactics for building a financial system that can help you save money, earn more income, and manage your expenses effectively. To access this valuable resource, you can listen to the show on popular podcast platforms like Apple or Spotify, or you can purchase a physical copy from your local bookstore or library. By applying the lessons from this book, you'll be well on your way to achieving financial success.

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    Paul and Morgan, 37 and 33, find themselves in a painful loop of arguments and unchecked spending, putting the future of their young family at risk. We hear about destination concerts, ongoing renovations, and charged vacations—but it’s their fixed cost percentage that is most worrisome. This episode is brought to you by: LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT. Viator | Download the Viator app and use code VIATOR10 for 10% off your first travel experience with Viator. Trade | Right now, Trade is offering our audience a free bag of coffee with any subscription at https://drinktrade.com/ramit. Netsuite | Get visibility to everything in your business one one place. Sign up and defer payments, with no interest, for six months at https://iwt.com/netsuite. Claritin | Visit https://claritin.com right now for a discount so you can get allergy relief and live Claritin Clear. Connect with Ramit • Get the Podcast Newsletter and exclusive Q&A about the show • Get Money Coaching with Ramit  • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube Submit a question for the newsletter iwt.com/askramit  If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

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