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    72 - HEARTBREAK - How to heal heartbreak ft. neuroscientist, Emily McDonald

    en-usJanuary 24, 2023
    How does heartbreak affect cognitive thinking?
    What role does oxytocin play in heartbreak?
    Why is serotonin important during a breakup?
    What are effective coping strategies after a breakup?
    How can diet influence brain health post-breakup?

    Podcast Summary

    • Heartbreak impacts brain and body systemsHeartbreak shifts resources to emotional systems, decreases bonding hormone oxytocin, affects reward system causing serotonin drop and cortisol/dopamine increase, and activates stress system leading to increased stress and pain.

      Heartbreak significantly affects various systems in the brain and body, leading to a range of emotional and physical responses. Emily McDonald, a neuroscientist and TikTok content creator, explains that during heartbreak, the brain shifts resources away from cognitive thinking and regulatory systems towards emotional systems. This results in a loss of rational thinking and an increase in emotional reactivity. Furthermore, heartbreak impacts the bonding system, leading to a decrease in oxytocin, a natural pain reliever and bonding hormone. The reward system is also affected, causing a drop in serotonin and increase in cortisol and dopamine, driving the desire to reunite with the former partner. The stress system is activated, leading to increased stress and pain. Overall, heartbreak is a complex experience that affects multiple areas of the brain and body, making it a challenging and emotional experience to navigate.

    • Neurochemical changes during a breakupBreakups cause a drop in serotonin, oxytocin, and an increase in stress hormones, leading to anxiety, emotional instability, and difficulty thinking critically. Rebalancing neurotransmitter levels takes time, but practices like gratitude, supplements, and social support can help.

      During a breakup, our bodies experience a significant drop in neurotransmitters like serotonin, oxytocin, and an increase in stress hormones like cortisol and norepinephrine. This neurochemical imbalance can lead to anxiety, emotional instability, and difficulty thinking critically. The length of time it takes for these levels to rebalance can vary greatly from person to person. One way to speed up this process is through supplements like 5-HTP, practicing gratitude, and connecting with loved ones to express emotions and release built-up energy. This process is similar to a withdrawal process seen in addiction, and it's essential to understand that these feelings are deeply rooted in our biology.

    • Effectively dealing with post-breakup recoveryPrioritize personal healing, cut off ties with ex, and focus on self-growth for fastest recovery.

      When dealing with a post-breakup recovery, it's essential to prioritize personal healing and independence. Cold turkey, such as blocking an ex on social media and removing all contact, is an effective method to speed up the process. This approach helps eliminate the anticipation of potential communication, which can trigger dopamine release and prolong the healing process. Additionally, cutting off ties allows individuals to focus on their own growth and become self-sufficient. However, it's crucial to remember that everyone's experience is unique, and different methods may work better for different people. Ultimately, the goal is to prioritize personal well-being and take the fastest, most effective path to healing.

    • Managing dopamine cues after a breakupRemove reminders, process emotions healthily, and avoid keeping reminders out of false hope for reconciliation.

      Managing the aftermath of a breakup involves handling dopamine cues that trigger cravings for the person. This means removing reminders and memories that keep you connected to them. However, it's essential not to suppress emotions or get stuck in the past by constantly talking about it. Instead, process emotions through a healthy outlet, like therapy or discussing with a trusted person in fixed blocks. Going through old photos, for instance, can lead to a release of emotions and help facilitate acceptance and letting go. It's important to avoid keeping reminders out of hope for reconciliation, as this can hinder the healing process.

    • Letting go of past relationships and moving onRecognize toxic cycles, focus on self-care, and allow time for grieving to heal from a breakup's emotional and physical pain.

      Dwelling on past relationships and rehashing old emotions can become a toxic cycle. It's important to recognize when you're obsessing over what could have been and let go of the belief that things could have been any different. This can be a challenging process, especially during the painful aftermath of a breakup. However, taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, such as getting photos taken down and focusing on self-improvement, can help speed up the healing process. Additionally, it's important to allow yourself time to grieve, but also recognize when it's time to move on. The physical and emotional pain of a breakup can be interconnected, with the loss of oxytocin leaving us feeling both emotionally and physically vulnerable. Taking care of yourself during this time can help alleviate both types of pain and allow you to focus on your own growth and well-being.

    • Brain areas activated during emotional and physical pain overlapResearch shows emotional pain and physical pain activate similar brain areas, including the insular cortex, anterior cingulate, and ventral tegmental area, emphasizing their similarities.

      There are similar brain areas activated during emotional and physical pain. The insular cortex and anterior cingulate, responsible for noticing mistakes and emotional processing, were found to be active during both experiences. Additionally, the ventral tegmental area, a reward center linked to addiction and romantic love, was also activated during the study of egg-viewing and emotional pain. This research suggests that emotional pain may be perceived similarly to physical pain in the brain. Furthermore, acknowledging and writing down the negative aspects of past relationships can help individuals avoid romanticizing unhealthy situations and move forward.

    • Hardwired for Comfort During a BreakupDuring a breakup, our brains crave comfort due to decreased oxytocin, serotonin, and prefrontal cortex activity. Mindfulness meditation and conscious food choices can help increase positivity and aid in healing.

      During a breakup, our brains and bodies are hardwired to crave comfort and bonding, even if the relationship was toxic. This is due to the decrease in oxytocin and serotonin, which increases stress and negative emotions, and the decrease in prefrontal cortex activity, impairing reasoning and logical thinking. Our brains also prefer the comfort of an unhappy relationship over being alone. To combat this, practicing mindfulness meditation can help increase prefrontal cortex activity and serotonin levels. Additionally, what we eat and drink plays a crucial role in the production of neurotransmitters, yet it's often overlooked during a breakup. Making conscious food choices that promote positive emotions and overall well-being is essential for effective coping and healing.

    • Nourishing Your Body and Brain After a BreakupEating whole foods rich in healthy fats and carbs can support brain health and mood. Avoiding old happy photos with an ex is crucial for moving on.

      Taking care of your physical health through eating whole, natural foods is essential for both your body and brain during a breakup. Foods rich in healthy fats, like avocados, can support brain health, while carbs may increase serotonin levels, which can impact mood. However, it's essential to remember that everyone's experience is unique, and sometimes indulging in comfort foods can be a healthier choice than reaching out to an ex. Additionally, our memory recall is highly context-dependent, making it crucial to avoid looking at old happy photos with your ex, as it may flood your brain with positive memories of them. After a breakup, it's essential to focus on self-love and self-acceptance. Create lists of the negatives and positives in the relationship to help remind yourself of your worth and the things you bring to future relationships.

    • Rebuilding After a Breakup: Creating New AssociationsFocus on new activities, make lists of reasons for the breakup, utilize supplements, exercise regularly, and connect with loved ones to rewire your brain and move on after a breakup

      Going through a breakup can be a difficult experience, but it's possible to rewire your brain and move on by creating new associations. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts and memories of your ex, make lists of reasons why the relationship didn't work and focus on the things you've always wanted to do. Utilize the dopamine you would normally use to crave your ex by engaging in new activities, and consider using supplements like 5-HTP to help during the transition. Exercise regularly to increase natural endocannabinoids and endorphins, which can relieve pain and boost mood. Lastly, connect with loved ones for added support and to increase the likelihood of healing and avoiding relapse.

    • Healing after a breakup: Building connections and expressing emotionsConnecting with loved ones, acknowledging feelings, and listening to empowering music promote healing after a breakup. Avoiding drugs and sleeping pills can help prevent addiction and delay the healing process.

      Building strong social connections and expressing emotions through self-examination are key to healing after a breakup. Engaging with friends and family, naming and acknowledging feelings, and listening to emotionally empowering music can help calm the emotional system and promote confidence. For those who may struggle with human connection, connecting with animals can also provide comfort and companionship. Regarding the use of drugs and sleeping pills, while they may temporarily numb the pain, they can also delay the healing process and potentially lead to addiction. It's essential to consider alternative, healthier ways to cope with the emotional challenges of a breakup. Additionally, research suggests that men may take longer to get over a relationship due to higher rates of self-medication with alcohol and drugs.

    • Healing from a breakup: Don't mask emotions with unhealthy coping mechanismsInstead of turning to drugs or unhealthy habits during a breakup, address emotions directly to promote healing and prevent potential long-term harm.

      While it may be tempting to turn to drugs or other unhealthy coping mechanisms during a breakup, these actions can actually hinder the healing process. Emotions, even painful ones, need to be felt and addressed in order to move forward. Long-term use of certain drugs can have detrimental effects on the brain, potentially leading to even greater issues down the line. It's important to seek professional help if needed, as unresolved emotional issues can stem from deeper, subconscious beliefs. Rejection and abandonment are particularly challenging for the brain, triggering feelings of isolation and even survival instincts. Always ensure that any supplements or treatments are sourced from trusted and reputable providers. Overall, facing emotions head-on is the best approach to healing after a breakup.

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