Beginning at the end is a very good place to start

We’re hardwired to respond to stories. Before the written word, stories were how humans passed down critical information - Bullet points and facts don’t stick around as long. Stories provide us with a way to make sense of the world and neuroscience now shows us how the brain encodes memories in terms of narrative.

But.

Sometimes the stories we’ve picked up along the way of our life might no longer serve us. This episode explores the opportunity we may have to rewrite our narrative. 

It touches on...

• We all learn & gather stories, beginning in early childhood - from our families, our culture, our community
• Jung’s interest in fairytales and how they can shine a light into our life experience
• Some of the stories we carry might actually belong to others
• The 3 steps we can explore to take control of the narrative
• Exploring how we can transform and rewrite the stories we hold

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Today, I’d like to talk about Inner Change, and how - at its heart - it's about returning to Self.

This was a surprisingly emotive topic for me. You’ll hear there’s a moment I need to gather myself before continuing - proof (if I needed it) of the significance and importance of connecting deeply and compassionately with ourselves.

Some of the things I cover, include:

• The importance of reflecting on how far we have travelled 
• How taking off my rose-tinted spectacles was part of my own change journey
• That change goes beyond resolutions and goals
• The difference between Will Power and Way Power (part of Motivational Theory)
• The fundamental truth that caring deeply for your Self is part of caring deeply for the world and the people around you

I also share a piece of writing I originally wrote on Instagram, and it felt useful to include it here...
I’ve been noisier than usual recently. Sharing poems, thoughts, things about myself. It’s surprising me but I’m going with it. Something is drawing me to speak. And maybe it’s you I’m speaking to? Maybe you’re feeling like you want to be heard? Maybe something within you is asking to be seen? Maybe you sense an awakening of a long dormant part? Maybe… maybe you’d like to talk? Maybe it’s time? Maybe you’ve been wondering about this for a while? Maybe it’s a new surgence* within? Maybe you’ve been doing the Work for a while and want to see what to do with what you’ve found? Maybe this change you feel rising feels overwhelming at times? Maybe you’re seeking a guide. Maybe having someone walking beside you a while would feel like comfort and courage combined. If a yes arises to one or more, then maybe you are why I’m here right now, asking all these maybes. Maybe this is the moment to reach in? With love ❤️

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In ancient Sanskrit, mandala means “circle.”

Gradually working outward from the central first dot, the creator builds an intricate and beautiful design. And then, the whole thing is wiped clean. They’re ephemeral by nature.

Today I’d like to explore how the principles inherent within Mandalas could support us; and dip into what I’m calling: the Mandala Mindset.

Along the way, we'll be looking at:

• How Mandalas represent the ephemeral nature of all things
• The full version of the famous Marcus Aurelius quote that led to our modern usage of the adage: “live each day as if it were your last.”
• What it could mean to be aware of our own mortality
• How learning somethng new can help us connect with the Mandala Mindset
• Pema Chödrön’s observation that “Each person’s life is like a mandala”

 
“Everything that shows up in your mandala is a vehicle for your awakening. From this point of view awakening is right at your fingertips continually.” Pema Chödrön

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My guest today is the publisher Kate Adams.

Kate has published many books you’d recognise, including You Are What You Eat by Gillian McKeith, A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle and Live Well Every Day by Dr Alex George. After working at Random House and then Penguin, she launched the Aster imprint for Octopus Books. Her experience has informed her deep curiosity about her own inner work - and has inspired the creation of the Inner Work Project. 

This is a wonderful expansive conversation that covers so many things - all enriching. I felt deeply calm after chatting with Kate. She has a wonderful energy that speaks to her curiosity and independent thinking.

I think you’ll enjoy meeting her too!

Some of the things we discussed include…

• The books & writers that can prompt us to start our journey on the inner work
• How our age and Lifestage can inform where we place our attention
• The power of letting the wild mother in (and releasing our need to be ‘good’)
• One of my favourite quotes: "Beware the man of one book"
• How we can reach outside ourselves for the answers - when they really sit within
• The importance of purpose as we craft the life we are creating

Lastly, there was a phrase that came to me as we spoke. Grasp the nettle and make tea. At the time it felt important. Maybe it speaks to you too.

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Moving into a new year, a new job, a new relationship, a new home, a new mindset we can feel as though the old is falling away. In truth, we might find we're seeking this 'letting go', this 'falling away' - insisting even, that we no longer carry the old stories, beliefs, experiences and only see the new.

And yet.

I’m not sure that’s ever truly so. Though things may transmute, change, adapt. Do they ever completely disappear?

Today we explore this idea of how we make room for the new. Some thoughts that appear are:

• The idea that there is no ‘away’ - materially or metaphorically
• With change we sometimes forget we also carry the past with us
• When we mindfully, kindfully pay attention to what was, we can create the space for what will be
• Change seems to me to be more about revelation, rather than transformation
• Part of our new this year could be learning to see the glimmers

This is an explorative, expansive, reflective episode… spoken from the heart, the hara (though every now and again my head does seem to insist on getting involved). 

If you love this kind of reflection, I'd love to hear your own meandering thoughts on where it takes you.

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The root of this episode was inspired by a young man I met this summer.

You'll hear the story that prompted today's question: how are you answering the call?

This isn't the first time someone has posed this question - you'll hear I share some of their words too. Yet, I feel it bears repeating.

And while I recognise it may seem particularly pertinent at this time of year, I see it as a universal, eternal question. Something, perhaps, we can all continue to ask.

Thoughts that arise are:

• The words of Mary Oliver’s timeless poem, The Summer Day
• Seneca, Eckhart and Confucius on the shortness of life
• This can be a beautiful time to reflect on what was, to see what is, to look ahead to what will be
• That we may not know the answer to the question, and that’s ok - the importance is we keep listening in for the call
• The choices we have about how we envision the now we are creating 

And we close with the same tender, compassionate, curious enquiry: how are you answering the call?

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It’s no accident that this episode falls on the day before Christmas. A day when many - though by no means all - of us, come together to give and receive.

We all recognise there can be complexity in these kinds of festivities. 

But sometimes it can be useful to break down a single aspect of what’s entangled within the complexity and see how we can shine the light of awareness to help create a shift. 

So, today we’re exploring the art of generously receiving, through the 3 As: Acknowledging, Allowing, Accepting.

This is a multi-level concept. I believe it applies whether we're being offered something from the universe, nature, others or our own wisest inner self.  

We see...

• There are many things that can get in the way of receiving 
• When we acknowledge something we help bring it into existence
• A willingness to be vulnerable means we allow the safe passage of the thing we are being offered
• Accepting the thing exactly as it is - without judgement - is not the same as losing our boundaries
• Maybe the most generous gift we can give is to learn how to receive generously ourselves

I'm aware there is complexity within this exploration too, so the invitation is simply to see what you receive as you listen.

RESOURCES 

• Karen Mead article: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/learning-to-receive-5-steps-to-opening-up/
• Tara Brach RAIN: https://youtu.be/W8e_tAEM80k?si=acft-69cYqr590Qm
• William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice, Act IV, Scene I

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I was sitting by a loch on the Isle of Mull, writing these words. When I looked up I saw a school of dolphin in front of me, and above me... a sea eagle.

It felt pretty profound! And seemed to give the words I'd written a certain potency.

I'm sharing them here.

10 thoughts on compassionate wisdom and a concept I'm calling inner activism. Here's some of what I cover:

• None of us know all the answers, and the wisest amongst us may say they know nothing at all
• When we step back and see we are part of something larger than ourselves, we see the weight of the world is not all on our shoulders
• There is a way of being that seeks the wisdom path, with compassion
• We are the pebble in the centre of our own pond, creating the ripples
• It is in the spaces between the noise that our wisest self can be heard

This is an expansive, explorative, experimental episode. I enjoyed sharing these thoughts - hope you enjoy listening. And I'd love to hear what resonated with you.

Henny x

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Sometimes, when we are so activated by what we’re experiencing in our inner world, our only place of control can feel like it’s to stay as we are. Even though we also know on a deep level that what will most serve us is to move, to change, to shift, to grow in some way.

So today we’re talking about stuckness. And how we can create some movement within.

It’s a familiar feeling for so many of us - whether from the past or something we’re feeling right now.

Some of the points I cover are:

• Overwhelm can often come from too many choices
• When we’re activated, our whole system fires up to avoid further risk
• Self-compassion is turning toward ourselves with the desire to see our own suffering and help in some way
• Different somatic expressions of the internal state of stuckness, and a technique to attend to this
• To feel fully safe with others, it can be vital to feel safe with ourselves first

Finally, I close with the reflection that every time you do something kind for yourself, you're creating a shift. Notice those moments, they may add up to something you haven’t fully yet recognised.

With love.

RESOURCES
JOURNALING QUEST for Self-Compassion - free mini-course: https://hennyflynn.ck.page/c852854559

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Leonard Cohen once wrote 'so much of the world is plunged in darkness and chaos… So ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.'

Today we're exploring light. Real and metaphorical. We look at:

• How vital light is for our well-being - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual
• The work of Polyvagal theorists, Stephen Porges and Deb Dan
• How glimmers, tiny moments of joy, are the powerful opposite of triggers and help us let the light in
• The nueroplasticity of the brain and our ability to support ourselves as we re-establish homeostasis
• A poem from My darling girl vol. 1 that I now understand was all about glimmers 

When we care for our whole being - body, mind, spirit - when we let the light in - then we are better able to live well, and to care with compassion for the world around us, and the people around us too.

Learning our own glimmers, learning how we (as individuals) can let the light in. This is part of the Work.

RESOURCES
Stephen Porges - The Pocket Guide to the Polyvagal Theory: The Transformative Power of Feeling Safe
Deb Dan - The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation

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