Celebrity Big Brother: CBB Launch night

Annihilation stations, rip Chelsea, Ryan and Lateysha's dignity, bin bags, only children, crack, cracks and Hughie FTW.

Georgina exits stage left, bb corp(ses), pancakes, placentas, loyalty cards, dog kicking, annoying 'loved ones', engagements, uncivil partners, STONED TO DEATH and Emma gets rulebooked.

Natalie rip, brain training, floodgates, jealousy, make up, gameplanning, mixing, back doors and this is your final warning.

The two true gamers get the boot, Rughie, Aladdin, birds, cigarette squirrels, live eviction hot mess, ghost stories, inner whores, cake gate, hoodie gate, gate gate, hand-wringing, rulebooking, tight holes and Marco YOLO.

Humping, wide boys, decorum, Miami, breakouts, fake arse, leafs, meat, thumbs, balaclavas, oompa loompas, twins pissed and a failed twist.

Launch night, z-listers, racism, hall pass, exes, others, snakes, cocaine, hookers, Isis, pussy, rules (or lack of), sexual goings on and wtf. God help us all.

Put your funeral clothes on! Final feast, noms grudges that last forever, milking it, moustache mistakes, true love, pointless jugglers, college basketball, friends and family and a limited amount of dick. You let Tiff down, you let Steph down, and you probably let Darren's wife down.

Poo in a box, Jeremy gets slutshamed, GC pays homage to Morrissey with a Tony the Pony meet and greet, then gets the b-oot, Stephanie and Tiffany find redemption and hey girl, throw John a vote! Don't let Scotty T win this! WOOF!

The forgotten rule book, colons, fire exits, blowdrys, strippers, pigeon shit, Ok com-boo-ter, and you are what you bleat.

Bowie farce, Jonathan's che-banished, Megan's meltdown, GET JOHN OUT, the Lion King, pointy eyebrows, more toothbrush times, and Big Brother gets so much airtime it goes up like a hot air balloon. We've marked your card. PS: Is tea a Class A drug? Tiffany FTW.